Influencing Others Positively at Work and in Life

Identify and avoid the number one influence mistake: pushing your frame on others. Start from their perspective frame by inviting them to envision their own meaningful pictures.

Master the two truths of influence: accept that most people aren’t motivated to do what you want, then empower yourself to influence more people through learnable, adaptive strategies.

Identify the right decision makers and their influencers, map second-level influencers, and direct constructive influence on the right people to achieve your goals.

Influence others positively by starting from their current thoughts and feelings, not yours, and apply three factors: objectives, relationship, and operating style.

Explore a diverse menu of influence methods tailored to different people and situations, and use the checklist to apply methods, adapt to each person, and turn objections into buy-in.

Apply rational analysis alongside credible sources to persuade others, engage independent thinkers, test assumptions, generate alternatives, and cite expert authorities like Robert Cialdini.

Reference legitimate policies, procedures, or standards relevant to your listeners. Invite buy-in, empathize, avoid smugness, and explain the positive reason for the policy to persuade without causing resentment.

Establish urgency and scarcity with near-term limits, show why they’ll be too late, reveal limited resources, and frame pain and gain to motivate action.

Build alliances and coalitions by connecting with stakeholders before meetings, expand your network of supporters, use social proof to guide decisions, and present yourself with professionalism.

Initiate reciprocation by offering personalized, meaningful, and unexpected favors to influence others, then encourage commitments by making them public, voluntary, and small to build momentum and consistency.

Use striking comparisons and sharp contrasts to clarify points, emphasize gains and losses, deliver simple, specific, and surprising messages that stick.

Frame proposals around shared values, principles, and a higher purpose to inspire others, connect your ideas to organizational strategy, and move people from tasks to meaningful goals.

Build rapport and trust to make others more willing to hear you and support your goals. Listen actively, learn about others, state positive intent, and be likable.

Lead by example, request input, and express gratitude to win hearts and minds while practicing humility and open-minded listening.

Turn objections into actions by exploring objections, uncovering underlying needs, and taking proactive steps to influence with learning, as Jazelle Chapman’s path shows.

Think long term in influence by balancing results with strong relationships and a solid reputation; use the R&R test before, during, and after interactions to ensure integrity, clarity, and respect.

Learn to influence with integrity by balancing results with relationships and reputation, using the answer test before, during, and after interactions to leave others better off.

Learn how to harness inspiration-based influence by reflecting on a personal positive influencer, articulating their impact, and paying it forward by sharing the story to inspire others.

Develop influence by making gratitude a habit, using the power of thank you: thank specifics, acknowledge effort, and share impact. Commit to practicing appreciation and revisiting your progress.