Communication Skills to Speak Your Truth and Hear Others
What you'll learn
- express yourself with such clarity that others really get you
- be able to speak up when something is bothering you, without there being a conflict around it
- find a quality of connection with others, in which you can truly be yourself
- find win/win solutions, where everyone’s needs get met
Requirements
- None
Description
Whether at home or at work, there's nothing more important in life than our relationship with ourselves, and with others, yet most of us aren't taught how to truly connect. So much of our culture teaches us to disconnect, from ourselves and from others. It turns out, authentic connection is a learnable skill, with some simple "how to" steps. It starts with an understanding of the shared human needs that drive every single thing we do, which gives us common ground to work from.
In this course, you'll learn to create a relationship with yourself that changes everything. You'll find clarity about what you truly want, and explore ways to move towards finding that in your life. You'll learn a simple tool that can make a profound difference in all your relationships, enabling you to speak your truth “quietly and clearly”, with both authenticity and compassion.
You will learn the "how to" of authentic connection – how to speak up for yourself in ways that work to create connection rather than conflict, and find win/win solutions – based mostly on Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg (“nonviolent” meaning “to do no harm”) with splashings of Inner Relationship Focusing, the Enneagram, Polyvagal theory and other frameworks. Learning this can help you meet needs for being heard/seen, agency, competence, authenticity and belonging. Ultimately, it’s really about learning how to be comfortable in your own skin, and being able to truly be yourself.
These skills can be applied in all avenues of your life - at work, at home, with your friends, with your enemies. They can improve your leadership and management skills at work, and deepen your personal relationships.
What Will I Learn?
Feelings literacy (sensing what's going on in body, being in relationship with it)
Needs literacy
How to talk about feelings and needs, without blame or demand
Exactly HOW to bring up a difficult issue with someone, in a way that will be much more likely to be heard.
How to get clear on exactly what it is you're wanting in a situation
Be able to work WITH the other person to find a solution that works for both of you, or, find other solutions that are equally satisfying to you, even if the other person isn't willing to talk or negotiate.
How to naturally have more compassion for self and others
How not to take things personally - aware that everyone else is just trying to meet their needs, and it's not about US.
Who this course is for:
- Anyone who wants more connection, ease and clarity, and less conflict, in their lives
Instructor
- 4.5 Instructor Rating
- 34 Reviews
- 219 Students
- 1 Course
Who am , and why would you want to listen to me?
Hopefully it's because I make sense to you, and because it makes you feel better – more self-connected, more gentle with yourself.
In terms of qualifications – I’ve been training in nonviolent communication, created by Dr Marshall Rosenberg, since 2011, and teaching it since 2012, in face to face workshops, and now online. (I also have a surprisingly unrelated degree in Computer Science.)
I have a passion for psychology, especially the work of Sarah Peyton and Dan Seigel (both interpersonal neurobiologists), and for frameworks such as Inner Relationship Focusing (similar to Internal Family Systems), the work of Byron Katie, and the Enneagram.
What I teach comes from not just from “learning”, but from applying many great teachings in my life, and my direct experience of that – what works and what doesn’t, and how to adapt it if necessary. It’s backed by science AND experience.
I think it's a HUGE problem in our mental health system, and in society in general, that those in control don't have lived experience of the issues they're giving advice or making decisions about. I’m mildly Aspergers, have ADHD, am a sober alcoholic (since 2011) and struggled with major depression from the age of 13. In finding answers to my issues, I’ve tried pretty much All The Things, so I can tell you a LOT about what helps, and why, and how.
my manifesto
I help you make sense of things … of things that have happened to you, or of what other people are saying and doing, or how you’re thinking about something.
I help reframe, change perspective.
I offer practical and useful frameworks, different ways to see things.
I teach the wisdom of no defence. That defence is always* attack. That vulnerability is the safest place to be. *[I’m NOT talking about things like sexual or physical abuse here! Please keep yourself safe, to the best of your ability! I’m talking about the 99% of time that our negatively-biased thoughts and filters tell us we’re under attack.]
I teach self-connection – which is what we REALLY want, not the myths of happiness and positive thinking – and self-compassion.
I teach authenticity.
I teach trauma awareness, and gentleness with ourselves around our precious and painful dysfunctions.
I teach win/win
I teach speaking up and speaking out
I teach “no wonder”, and “you make sense”
I teach “being with”, not fixing
I teach that it’s not your fault – AND that it’s your responsibility. And that the kind of responsibility I’m talking about is actually freedom.
I teach by modelling all these things – vulnerability, compassion, connection, authenticity, courage.
I teach by telling my own stories.
I teach by being IN there with you, fighting the same battles.
I believe in people’s inherent “goodness” – by which I mean, no-one is out there intentionally trying to hurt you, they’re trying to manage there own stuff. That doesn’t mean you don’t get caught in the cross-fire … but the pain is less when you’re not telling yourself they’re trying to kill you.
I believe in people wanting to give, in preferring love, when given the choice, and the ability to choose it.