How To Be More Assertive and Self-Confident?
4.0 (4 ratings)
Course Ratings are calculated from individual students’ ratings and a variety of other signals, like age of rating and reliability, to ensure that they reflect course quality fairly and accurately.
42 students enrolled

How To Be More Assertive and Self-Confident?

Learn the key concepts and develop an action plan on how you could be more assertive and self-Confident
4.0 (4 ratings)
Course Ratings are calculated from individual students’ ratings and a variety of other signals, like age of rating and reliability, to ensure that they reflect course quality fairly and accurately.
42 students enrolled
Created by Dr. Jeelani S. F.
Last updated 12/2017
English [Auto]
Current price: $13.99 Original price: $19.99 Discount: 30% off
5 hours left at this price!
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
This course includes
  • 4 hours on-demand video
  • 6 articles
  • 27 downloadable resources
  • Full lifetime access
  • Access on mobile and TV
  • Certificate of Completion
Training 5 or more people?

Get your team access to 4,000+ top Udemy courses anytime, anywhere.

Try Udemy for Business
What you'll learn
  • Understand assertiveness and self-confidence, and list the four styles of communication
  • Understand the types of negative thinking, and how to overcome negative thoughts
  • Explain the difference between listening and hearing, and understand the importance of body language and questioning skills in communication
  • Define the importance of goal setting, and practice setting SMART goals for assertive behavior
  • Utilize methodologies for understanding your worth -- and the use of positive self-talk
  • List reasons why a pleasing appearance and body language are critical for creating a strong first impression
  • Practice sending positive communications phrased as “I-Messages”
  • Use the STAR model to make your case during a presentation challenge
  • Display rapport-building skills through assertive methods of expressing disagreement and consensus-building techniques
  • Practice strategies for gaining positive outcomes in difficult interpersonal situations.
  • The ABC of communication
  • How to write to a difficult preson
  • Be true to yourself, accept that you are responsible and be willing to change.

The Assertiveness and Self-Confidence training program is based on the principle that "we all have a right to express our thoughts, our feelings, and our needs to others, as long as we do so, in a respectful way." And that,  assertiveness and self-confidence are not inborn, anyone can learn how to be more assertive and more confident. The program is highly interactive and takes a hands on approach with lots of exercises and case studies. 

The concepts and ideas that we are going to discuss in this program may sound simple and straightforward but rest assured that by the end of this program you will not only become aware of the key ideas and concepts but will also be able to develop a complete action plan to help you practice and apply what you learn in your personal and professional lives on a day to day basis.

Some of the main topics that we are going to cover are:

  • What is self-confidence and assertiveness
  • Analyze yourself, your communication style and your behavior
  • What are the main obstacles that prevent you from setting and achieving your goals
  • Interpersonal communication skills, use of gestures and questioning techniques
  • How do you feel about yourself, self-worth inventory and creating positive self-talk.
  • The importance of appearance and the role of body language
  • Difference between hearing and listening, sounding confident and developing 'I' messages
  • Developing powerful presentations
  • Coping techniques, building rapport, mirroring and how to disagree agreeably.
  • Dealing with difficult behavior

Along with lots of exercises, case studies, quizzes and practical applications.

Who this course is for:
  • Are you hesitant to express your thoughts or opinions?
  • Do you find dealing with authority figures difficult?
  • Have you ever been to a party and found yourself avoiding someone because you didn't know what to say?
  • Have you ever felt being neglected, unfairly criticized or taken advantage of?
  • Do you suppress your anger and as a result get depressed?
  • If you answered 'YES' to any of the above questions, then this program "How to be more Assertive and Self-Confident" is for you.
Course content
Expand all 58 lectures 04:21:04
+ Introduction
4 lectures 18:25


  • Understand assertiveness and self-confidence, and the four styles of communication
  • Know the types of negative thinking, and how you can overcome negative thoughts
  • Differentiate between listening and hearing, and understand the importance of body language and questioning skills in communication
  • Plan and practice setting your SMART goals for assertive behavior
  • Develop and use positive self-talk and understand your worth
  • Understand why a pleasing appearance and body language are critical for creating a strong first impression
  • Practice sending positive communications phrased as “I-Messages”
  • Use the STAR model to make your case during a presentation challenge
  • Display rapport-building skills through assertive methods of expressing disagreement  and techniques of consensus-building. The PEGASUS MODEL
  • Practice strategies for gaining positive outcomes in difficult interpersonal situations.
  • ABC of Communication
  • Dealing with difficult behavior
Preview 04:11

Download the 'Action Plan' here. You can modify it as per your requirement, this is just a suggested plan. The SMART model is discussed in Section 4 'Importance of Goal Setting'.    

How To Take The Program?


Section 1



Overview of The Program


Program Goals and Objectives


How To Take The Program


Topics To Be Covered

Section 2

What Does Self-Confidence Mean To You?


What is Self-Confidence?


Fear Of Failure And What To Do?


What is Assertiveness?


Exercise: Know Thyself 


The Four Styles of Communication


Exercise: Behavior Identification


Review Question


Section 3

Obstacles to Your Goals


Negative Thinking


Types of Negative Thinking


Exercise: Rebuttals to Negative Thinking


Case Study


Personal Application

Section 4

Interpersonal Communication Skills


Listening and Hearing; They Aren’t the Same Thing


Exercise: Use of gestures


Asking Questions


Exercise: Questioning Techniques


Body Language


Exercise: Acting The Part



Section 5

The Importance of Goal Setting


Why Goal Setting is Important


Setting SMART Goals


My Challenge to You

Section 6

Feeling the Part


Identifying Your Worth


Exercise: Self-worth Inventory


Creating Positive Self-Talk


Exercise: Write Positive Self-Talk Statements


Identifying and Addressing Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Section 7

Looking the Part


The Importance of Appearance


Exercise: Appearance in interpersonal settings


The Role of Body Language


Exercise: Eyeball to Eye Ball


First Impressions Count


Exercise: First Impressions

Section 8

Sounding the Part


It’s How You Say It


Exercise: Voice Vocalizing


Sounding Confident


Exercise: Projecting Your Voice


Using “I” Messages


Exercise: Develop ‘I’ Messages


Section 9

Powerful Presentations


What to Do When You’re on the Spot


Exercise: Handle A Tough Situation


Using STAR to Make Your Case


Exercise: STAR Model

Section 10

Coping Techniques


Building Rapport


Exercise: Mirroring


Expressing Disagreement


Exercise VAK Verbiage


Coming To Consensus


Exercise: PEGASUS Model

Section 11

Dealing With Difficult Behavior


Dealing With Difficult Situations


Exercise: Writing To Difficult Person

Section 12

Review and Wrapping Up


Summary and What Next?

Preview 06:44
+ What Does Self-confidence and Assertiveness Mean To You?
7 lectures 32:54

What is Self-Confidence?

Self-confidence is a belief in oneself, one's abilities, or one's judgment. It is freedom from doubt.   When you believe you can change things or make a difference in a situation, you are much more likely to succeed.

What is Self-confidence?

Situation Review:

Answer the following Question:

What are some of the challenges of behaving with self-confidence in today’s world? Write down as many as you can and then rate them according to importance on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being least important and 5 being highest important.

Once you are done assess yourself as to where do you stand with respect to these challenges.

Situation Review and A Story


10 Signs You Might Have Fear of Failure

What to Do When You Have a Fear of Failure?

Fear Of Failure

What is Assertiveness?

Assertiveness is a kind of direct communication of a person’s needs, wants, and opinions without punishing, threatening, or putting down another person.  It promotes fairness and equality in human interactions, based on a positive sense of respect for self and others.  An assertive person is confident and direct in dealing with others that is the reason you need to develop you self-confidence also.

What is Assertiveness?

Draw a self-portrait of yourself. Don’t worry if you are not good at drawings, this is not an art contest.

Once you have drawn your portrait, turn the paper over and write five words you will use to accurately describe yourself. Don’t think for long just write the first five that come to your mind.

Now show your drawing to five or six persons, they could be your family members, colleagues, friends teachers or anybody, ask them what they see, ask them to read the five words at the back and request them to tell you their feelings also ask them to right something positive about you on the drawing. 

Exercise - Know Thyself

There are four styles of communication: Passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive.

The Four Styles of Communication

The objective of this exercise is ‘To practice identifying statements as aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, or assertive.

This exercise is in the form of a quiz. You will be given a situation followed by four statements in response to that situation, you need to identify or classify each statement whether it is aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive or assertive. 

Exercise: Behavior Identification
16 questions
Review Questions
+ Obstacles To Your Goals
5 lectures 24:19

The most common obstacles to goals are lack of imagination, self-trust or self-confidence and procrastination, but the single biggest obstacle to your goals is, NEGATIVE THINKING.

That is what we are going to discuss let us start with ‘What is negative thinking?’

Negative Thinking

Type of Thinking:

Over-generalization: Make a general universal rule from one isolated event.

Global labeling: Automatically use disparaging labels to describe yourself.

Filtering: Pay attention selectively to the negative, disregarding the positive.

Polarized thinking: Group thinks into absolute, black and white categories, assuming that you must be perfect or you are worthless.

Self-blame: Persistently blame yourself for things that may not be your fault.

Personalization:  Assume that everything has something to do with you, negatively comparing yourself to everyone else.

Mind reading: Feel that people don't like you or are angry with you, without any real evidence.

Control fallacies: Feel that you have total responsibility for everybody and everything, or that you have no control as a helpless victim.

Emotional reasoning: Believe that things are the way you feel about them.

Types Of Negative Thinking

How to fix these cognitive disorders?

1. Identify your Cognitive Distortion: What you need to do is ‘create a list of your troublesome thoughts and examine them later for matches with a list of cognitive distortions. An examination of your cognitive distortions will allow you to see which distortions you prefer. Additionally, this process will allow you to think about your problem or predicament in more natural and realistic ways. 

2. Examine the Evidence: A thorough examination of an experience allows you to identify the basis for your distorted thoughts. If you are quite self-critical, then, you should identify a number of experiences and situations where you had successes.

How to Fix Cognitive Disorders
Exercise: Rebuttal To Negative Thinking

In your handout there is a column for writing down the rebuttals to the statements. In this quiz you need to identify the type of negative thinking only.

Identify The Type of Negative Thinking
5 questions

In this session we will have two activities one is a case study and the other is on personal application. The case study will help you to analyze obstacles to one person’s ability to reach a goal, while in personal application we will try to develop some assertive responses for two different hypothetical situations. Each activity is followed by review questions. Let us start with the case study:

Case Study and Personal Application
+ Interpersonal Communication Skills
5 lectures 18:17

Hearing is the act of perceiving sound by the ear. Assuming an individual is not hearing-impaired, hearing simply happens. Listening, however, is something that one consciously chooses to do. Listening requires concentration so that the brain processes meaning from words and sentences. 

As opposed to hearing, listening skills can be learned and refined. The art of active listening allows you to fully receive a message from another person. Especially in a situation involving anger or a tense interchange, active listening allows you to be sensitive to the multiple dimensions of communication that make up an entire message.  
Listening and Hearing; They Aren't The Same Thing
Exercise: Use of Gestures


Listening and Questioning Skills

This quiz will test your knowledge on open and close ended questions

Open and Closed Ended Questions
8 questions
Exercise: Questioning Techniques
Exercise: Acting The Part
+ The Importance Of Goal Setting
2 lectures 11:15

The process of setting goals helps to provide a clear picture of your wants and needs so you can chart your own life destiny. To get a clear picture of your wants and needs, consider eight types of goals

Why Goal Setting is Important

SMART: Specific; Measurable; Achievable; Realistic; Timed;

  • Long-Range Goals 
  • Medium-Range Goals
  • Immediate Goals
Setting SMART Goals
The Importance of Goal Setting
5 questions
+ Feeling the Part
4 lectures 13:42

Worth is defined as “sufficiently good, important or interesting to justify a specified action. People with a sense of self worth exude confidence in themselves. They feel in change of their own destiny, and are happy. To create a picture of your self-worth, take a self-concept inventory, analyzing multiple attributes in your life

Identifying Your Worth

Positive self talk allows you to recognize, validate and apply your full potential with respect to all that you are, and do. Also called affirmations (to make something firm), positive self-talk serves as your own personal accomplishment scale.

Creating Positive Self-Talk
Self-Talk Quiz
5 questions

You can download the worksheet 8 here, print and practice developing self-talk statements.

Exercise: Write Positive Self-Talk Statements

After you have listed words and phrases for self-attributes, you can classify them as strengths or weaknesses. This is your self-worth inventory. The key is do it with sincerity, be true to yourself, you don't need to show this to anyone.

Identifying and Addressing Your Strengths and Weaknesses
+ Looking the Part
6 lectures 21:14

In the dictionary, appearance is defined as an external show, or outward aspect. Your confidence depends significantly on your personal thoughts and perceptions about the way you look.

The Importance of Appearance
Exercise: Appearance in interpersonal settings

Body language is a form of non-verbal communication involving the use of stylized gestures, postures, and physiologic signs which act as cues to other people. Humans unconsciously send and receive non-verbal signals through body language all the time.

The Role of Body Language
Exercise: Eyeball to Eye Ball

It takes as few as seven seconds – and no more than thirty seconds -- for someone to form a first impression about you. Like it or not, people make judgments about others right away based on a presenting appearance.  And you never have a second chance to make a first impression.

First Impressions Count
Exercise: First Impressions
Looking The Part
5 questions
+ Sounding the Part
6 lectures 18:33

We are all born with a particular tone of voice, which we can learn to improve.  The goal is to sound upbeat, warm, under control, and clear.

It’s How You Say It
Exercise: Voice Vocalizing
Sounding Confident
Exercise: Projecting Your Voice

An “I” message is a statement specifically worded to express your feelings about a particular situation. “I” messages begin with “I”, and are an excellent way to share your feelings about particular behaviors -- without accusing the other person. There are four types of “I” messages, each with varying parts.

Using “I” Messages
Exercise: Develop ‘I’ Messages
Sounding The Part
7 questions
+ Powerful Presentations
4 lectures 21:52

Regardless of the situation, things are guaranteed to happen, and not always according to plan. Irrespective of the presentation venue, four actions can help you convert an interruption into an opportunity.

What to Do When You’re on the Spot
Exercise: Actions When You Are On The Spot

STAR is an acronym that stands for Situation or Task, Thoughts and Feelings, Actions, and Results

Using STAR Model to Make Your Case
Exercise: STAR Model
Powerful Presentations
5 questions
+ Coping Techniques
9 lectures 45:59

An assertive, self-confident person uses a variety of coping techniques to deal with the challenges of interpersonal communication. Many of these techniques come from the school of Neuro-linguistic programming. NLP began in California in the mid 1970's, when graduate Richard Bandler joined a group at the University of Santa Cruz headed by linguistics professor John Grinder. NLP is defined as models and techniques to help understand and improve communication -- and to enhance influencing behavior.

Building Rapport
Building Rapport -1
Exercise: Mirroring

Representation systems determine by the brain give us cues about how individuals process information. People can be classified as predominantly:

  • Visual. (The things we see)
  • Auditory. (The things we hear)
  • Kinesthetic. (The things we feel, touch, taste or smell).

Both the type of words used, and the speaker’s eye movement provide indicators of the system type. In a conversation, once we understand which type our conversation partner is, we can use the same system language to match the person’s type, helping to ensure more reception to our message.

VAK Verbiage
Exercise VAK Verbiage

There are people who will try to avoid disagreement at all costs, however without difference of opinion or without disagreement the world would be a dull and colorless place. 

Embracing disagreement is a valuable way of learning new ideas, tempering your own ideas into workable outcomes, and reaching solutions that everyone can benefit from. 

Once you know how to deal with disagreement, your interpersonal skills with others will greatly improve.

Whenever you sense that there is a disagreement on its way or that difference of opinion is going towards some heated arguments think of “LEAP” where L stands for Listen, E for empathize, A for Agree, and P for Partnering.

Expressing Disagreement

Consensus is defined by the American Heritage Dictionary as "an opinion or position reached by a group as a whole". Consensus decision making is the process used to generate widespread agreement within a group. Consenting to a proposal does not necessarily mean it is your first choice. In consensus building Participants are encouraged to think about the good of the whole group. This may mean accepting a popular proposal even if it is not your personal preference.

Coming To Consensus


  • SUM-UP

Exercise: PEGASUS Model
Coping Techniques
10 questions