Happy Money: The Abundance Mindset

Hey, it's Gino Barbaro back with you! In this video, we're tackling a big question: What is money?

It sounds simple, right? But think about the emotion that word brings up for you. Everyone has a different feeling about it. For years, my own feelings about money were based on fear and scarcity. But in this session, I want to share a clearer definition with you.

Money is a medium of exchange. It symbolizes perceived value. It's accepted as payment for goods, and it's a measure or store of value. Now, what does that really mean? Honestly, those definitions never really clicked for me either. What I do know is that money is essential in today's world, and we all have a relationship with it, whether we realize it or not.

For me, the key word when I think about money now is "value." The more value I create in the economy, the more money I make. Look at someone like Jeff Bezos. He's a billionaire because he created immense value. He made things simpler for consumers. He disrupted industries. He made it easier to buy things. And the money? That's just a result of the value he created. So, when you think of money, what's the one word that comes to mind?

Money also gives you options. It's not about money making you happy, though. I've seen it time and time again through coaching hundreds of students: money gives you autonomy. It gives you the freedom to choose, the optionality to live life on your own terms. That contributes to true happiness. Finding your purpose, that's what really makes you happy, and money can help you on that journey.

I want to leave you with two quotes that have really impacted me. First, "If you have a problem, and money can solve it, then you don't have a problem." It took me a long time to understand that one. Money is a tool. It's not meant to be hoarded. It's there to be used.

And second, this one from a mentor really hit me: "Money doesn't corrupt, it reveals." If you're a good person, money isn't going to change that. It's only going to amplify it. So get out there, create as much value as you can, and make as much money as you can. If you're a good person, that money will only help you do more good in the world.

Hey everyone, Gino Barbaro here, and in this video, we're diving into the heart of what this whole course is about: Happy Money.

I had the privilege of interviewing Ken Honda, the original author of the "Happy Money" book – he's a Japanese guru of money and wealth. He's sold over 8 million copies of his book! And during our talk, he told me I needed to write a book on Happy Money, Happy Properties, and Happy Family. It was amazing to hear that the originator of the concept wanted me to write about it!

Now, I didn't want to write another book on real estate, I'd already done that. But I loved the idea, and I thought, let's add a legacy component, because if we're talking about family, legacy is so important.

But back to Happy Money. I love this concept because I grew up earning unhappy money. Let's start there, and then we'll reverse engineer it into what happy money actually is.

Unhappy money, for me, was when I was working at a job I didn't like. It was negative, draining. I had to go to work just to pay the bills. How many of you feel that way? If you're in that situation, you're earning unhappy money. It's negative, there's scarcity, there's fear involved. When I was at my restaurant, for years, I was earning unhappy money. I was unfulfilled. If I had to pick one word to describe how I felt about money back then, it would be scarcity, fear, not having enough. And when you're in that state, you tend to attract more unhappy money.

My Happy Money journey started when I met my business partner, Jake, and we embarked on our real estate journey. That was happy money. I was excited every day. I remember taking lunch breaks at my old job, and I'd be working on real estate. People would say, "Gino, you're working too much, take a break!" But I couldn't stop. I knew, deep down, that this is what I really wanted to do.

Happy money is positive. There's so much positive emotion to it. The energy is flowing to you. And when you start living in that state, you start living a life of abundance. You start seeing the opportunities. A person earning happy money doesn't only see the problems, because we all have problems every day. They see the opportunities within the problems. That's the power of happy money.

So, how do you know if you're working with happy money or unhappy money right now? This is really important. I want you to go back in time, when you were young, 9, 10, 11, 12 years old. Think about your relationship with money today, and where it started. It usually starts in the household. What did you hear about money when you were young? More importantly, what did you not hear? Did your parents never talk about money? Were they always late with the bills? Was there always fear around money?

In my household, there were a lot of things I heard that became ingrained in me. Both my parents were immigrants. They had to save money. So for me, saving was a big part of my life. "You have to save for a rainy day." I don't know why it was never for a sunny day, it was always a rainy day – negative. "We can't afford that." "It takes money to make money," which is completely false, by the way. "Money doesn't grow on trees." These are things I heard, and I brought them into my adulthood. These were my living beliefs. What have you heard? Are they true? Are they holding you back?

Once you understand your relationship with money, it will really help you on your journey. Let me give you an example. We're going to get into the five money personas in the next lesson, but let's talk about the "avoider." If you grew up in a household that always avoided money, what's going to happen when you become an adult? You're going to have to make decisions based on money, and you're going to step back and not take any responsibility. You're going to be late with bills, you're not going to plan for the future, you're not going to talk to your spouse about your financial situation, because you were unconsciously taught to avoid the idea of money.

This is another important concept: You have a certain relationship with money, and your spouse has another. My wife and I came from completely different backgrounds with money. We just realized this in the past few years. This is part of the reason why I wrote the book, because I started learning all these different things. In marriages, money comes up, and it's a big source of arguments. My wife had one idea of money, and I had another. We were raised in completely different households. Once we understood that, and we tried to understand how each of us looked at money, things got better. Remember to seek first to understand, then to be understood.

I should have been doing that with my wife when it came to money. We'd have arguments about paying bills. I wanted to save, and she'd say, "Well, we have money, why don't we use it?" I give her a lot of credit; I think her relationship was a lot healthier than mine early on. I was so ingrained in saving for the rainy day, making sure I had enough for my kids, for retirement, for their college, that I was neglecting some of the things I should have been spending money on throughout the day and the weeks ahead. And it was damaging our relationship.

So, as I end this lesson, what is your relationship with money? Spend some time reflecting on this, because it's really important. My hope for you is that you start seeing money as happy, as a way that enters into your life. Start doing things that make you happy. For me, it's writing books, getting on coaching calls with students, doing podcasts – things that light me up, that give me joy and positive energy. And the money I earn from those endeavors is Happy Money.

Down below in the comments section, tell me: What is Happy Money to you? What are you going to do in the next week to start attracting more Happy Money into your life?

Key Takeaways:

• Happy Money vs. Unhappy Money: Understand the difference between money earned with joy and purpose (Happy Money) and money earned through stress and negativity (Unhappy Money).

• Childhood Influences: Recognize how your early experiences and beliefs about money, often shaped in your childhood, influence your current financial behavior.

• Relationship with Money: Acknowledge that everyone has a unique relationship with money, and understanding this relationship is crucial for financial well-being.

• Spousal Differences: Be aware that you and your spouse may have different money mindsets, and open communication is essential for financial harmony.

• Shifting Your Mindset: Learn how to shift your mindset to attract Happy Money by focusing on activities that bring you joy and create value.

• Reflection: Take time to reflect on your own relationship with money, and identify areas for improvement.

Welcome back! I'm Gino Barbaro, and in this lesson, we're going to dive deep into understanding your relationship with money. If you felt a little uncomfortable after the last video, that's okay! Exploring your past and your beliefs about money can bring up some unexpected emotions. Just sit with those emotions, and try to understand what might be holding you back. This lesson will help you peel back those layers even further.

We're going to explore the five money personas. Typically, you'll find that you predominantly identify with one, though you might see a little bit of yourself in all of them.

• Steve the Saver: Like I mentioned before, I used to be Steve all the time. My mentality was to save as much money as possible. Saving is great! It's responsible, and it's essential for becoming financially free. You save money, and then you invest it. But, like anything else in life, if it's done in excess, it becomes unhealthy. It becomes an obsession. I took it to the next level. Even after I got married, we'd argue about it. I'd say, "I have money saved!" And my wife would say, "Why aren't you using it?" Remember, money is just a tool. Why are you saving it? How many people do you know who retire with millions in the bank and are still afraid to use it? That's not a good thing. Saving is important, but if it's your default, you won't enjoy your money.

• Amy the Avoider: Amy wants to avoid money at all costs. A bill comes, she throws it away. A bank statement arrives, she doesn't even look at it. She has to make financial decisions, but she puts them off. I don't need to tell you how detrimental that can be. And listen, I have the avoider in me sometimes. I might have a bill to pay, or a real estate deal to consider, and I tend to avoid it. I have to go back into my past and ask myself, "Why is that happening? What's going on?" and confront it.

• Sarah the Spender: This persona loves to spend money, often without knowing why. We have four happy chemicals in our brains: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. Dopamine is that happy drug you get when you're expecting something. So, for Sarah the spender, thinking about spending money triggers dopamine before she even spends it. She feels that high, she goes and spends the money, that sugar rush wears off, and a week later she's like, "Why did I buy that?" She doesn't really know. And the cycle continues. If you're doing this unconsciously, you can see the damage it can do. Spending money recklessly is really bad. Understanding why you're buying something is different. Sarah needs to get this under control and understand her motivations. She needs to start saving a little more. Steve needs to spend a little more, and Sarah needs to save a little more.

• George the Gambler: Have you ever known someone who's onto a new venture every six months? One day he's trading stocks, the next day he's doing real estate, the next day he's into Bitcoin. Every time, he makes a ton of money, or so it seems, but then he gives it all away. It's another part of the brain, those chemicals again. It's a rush for George the Gambler. Understanding that you're doing this, what is your relationship with money? It's an unhealthy relationship because you're never going to be happy. You're always making it, always losing it. It feels like you're on a hamster wheel.

• I the Investor: It's a great persona to have, but you can overdo it. If all your focus is on making money and investing it, where's the joy in money? Remember, money is a tool. Enjoy the money! If you can incorporate a little bit of all five of these... obviously, you don't want to avoid money, but understanding when you're avoiding it is okay. What do you need to do? Spend it, enjoy it! That's what money is all about. It will bring some happiness if you can spend it, even by donating it. If you go to a casino, understand that you're enjoying it, you're gambling some money, and if it brings you joy, that's okay. Saving money is essential to grow our financial wealth.

  To me, if you're going to start talking about money and how to have a better relationship with it, it's all about building that foundation, and building the foundation starts with saving.

As I wrap up this lesson, I'd like you to reflect: Which persona are you? And more importantly, which persona would you like to be?

Key Takeaways:

• Five Money Personas: Learn about the five common money personas: Saver, Avoider, Spender, Gambler, and Investor.

• Self-Reflection: Identify which persona resonates most with you and understand how it influences your financial decisions.

• Balance: Recognize the importance of balance in your relationship with money. Each persona has its strengths and weaknesses, and a healthy approach involves incorporating elements from each.

• Understanding Your Motivations: Dig deeper into why you behave the way you do with money. Are you driven by fear, scarcity, or a desire for security?

• Taking Control: Learn how to take control of your money mindset and make conscious choices that align with your financial goals and values.

• Enjoying Money: Remember that money is a tool to be used and enjoyed. It's not just about accumulating wealth, but also about using it to create a fulfilling life.

Would you like me to elaborate on any of these personas or provide more examples?

Hey everyone, Gino Barbaro here. In this video, we're focusing on a crucial aspect of Happy Money: how spouses can navigate their financial lives together.

The very first thing you can do is start talking about money. Talk about your past. Look into your spouse's past and get an idea of how they were raised. I'll go back to my wife for an example. She was raised really without a care about money. Before I recorded this, she said, "Make sure you tell them it wasn't from a place of fear." She just had trust, or faith, in me that I would make enough money to support the family. I, on the other hand, came from a place of fear, of scarcity. She'd say, "Gino, you got this. I know there'll be money there."

I remember growing up, and even after we got married, we had a shoebox. These were the days when we didn't use credit cards, so we knew exactly how much money we were making and spending. She had all the faith in the world; she was never afraid of a lack of money, whereas I was.

Can you imagine going through a relationship with someone afraid and someone carefree? There can be a lot of tension. Once we understood our views, it was a completely different relationship.

For me, it was always about creating "financial freedom." I would always tell her that. And this is the key point: you need to have an open and honest conversation with your spouse about how you feel about money and what your goals are. Try to be complimentary and have empathy for their point of view.

Looking back, I thought it was nuts how my wife looked at money. She'd have money spread all over the place – in her pockets, in her car. And I'm like, "We need to corral the money! We can't lose this money! We have to take care of it!" And she'd say, "It'll be there where we need it." It drove me nuts, and I'm sure I drove her nuts. So many arguments could have been avoided if we understood each other's point of view and our goals for the future.

Now, you're looking at money, and you're speaking to your spouse. For me, again, it was all about financial freedom. And she said, "Basically, it feels as if we are financially free. We make enough money, we have a good lifestyle, we can go on vacations." And she was right. But for me, it was more than that. I wanted to ultimately create Happy Money. I wanted to do something in life that I really enjoyed. I was stuck at a job I didn't like. So, to me, financial freedom was to be able to pay my bills, not worry about anything, share my wealth, and give more to my family.

Once I painted that picture for her, she completely understood my point of view and was on board. She said, "Yes, you can do that. Go ahead."

So, that's what I want you to do: sit down, have a conversation with your spouse. Tell them how you grew up, what your relationship with money was like. Then, listen to your spouse. Formulate a plan for both of you. What do you want the next 5, 10, 15, 20 years and beyond to look like? How do you want money to be in your family? What do you want it to do for your family? Do you want to save for college, retirement, charities, vacations? Think of it as a tool. How are you going to use that tool as a family?

As I wrap up this lesson, I asked my wife how best to finish this story, and as always, she had the answer. She said, "You, as the spouse, are not there to fix anything. What makes you think you're right and she's wrong, or vice versa? You both have your own relationship with money. Try to understand each other's relationship, work together, and hopefully shatter some of your limiting beliefs. Don't try to fix at this point; just try to listen and have empathy."

Key Takeaways:

• Open Communication: The foundation of financial harmony in a marriage is open and honest communication about money.

• Understanding Each Other's Past: Learn about your spouse's childhood experiences with money, as these significantly influence their current financial behavior.

• Empathy and Respect: Approach financial discussions with empathy and respect for your spouse's perspective, even if it differs from your own.

• Shared Goals: Work together to define shared financial goals for your family, such as saving for college, retirement, or vacations.

• No Fixing, Just Understanding: Remember that you are not there to "fix" your spouse's money habits. Focus on understanding and working together.

• Shattering Limiting Beliefs: Use these conversations as an opportunity to identify and challenge any limiting beliefs about money that may be holding you back.

• Money as a Tool: View money as a tool to achieve your shared goals and create a fulfilling life for your family.

Hey everyone, Gino Barbaro here. In this lesson, we're diving into how to create a happy family by teaching your kids about Happy Money.

The first step is transparency. Don't hide the difficult conversations and struggles you may have with money. If you think you're hiding it, and they don't sense it, you're kidding yourself. They'll grow up with the same scars you did. Remember your childhood? Were there always struggles with money? It's okay to be transparent, not every day, but have honest conversations.

Start using the term "Happy Money" in your household. Share my book, "Happy Money, Happy Family, Happy Legacy." It's an easy read, designed for parents and young adults. Transparency, sharing the book, and open conversations will lead to a happier life with money.

Now, let's talk about skills you can teach them:

• Budgeting (or Spending Plan): Start a budget with your kids. Their eyes will open to how much things cost. Don't call it a "budget," call it a "spending plan." It feels less restrictive. Know what's coming in and going out.

• Needs vs. Wants: Teach them the difference. Basic needs are food, clothing, and shelter. Everything else is "gravy." When they want something, ask: "Do you really need it, or do you really want it?" This gives them control over their money.

• Price vs. Value: This is crucial. Is something worth the price? Teach them to invest in education, not just see it as an expense. Play a game: If they make $10 an hour and a TV costs $200, that's 20 hours of work. Let them decide if it's worth it.

• Delaying Gratification: In our instant world, this is tough. Remember dopamine? It craves instant gratification. Teach them to delay it. My son wanted an amp, but I told him to wait. He invested in a property instead, and now he can buy as many amps as he wants. Teach them to save, not use credit cards.

• Listening: We like to fix things, but sometimes we need to listen. Teach them to listen, too.

• Empowering Questions: Instead of "How was your day?" ask "What's one thing you enjoyed about school today?" Engage them with open-ended, thought-provoking questions. Listen intuitively, with curiosity and no judgment.

These steps will help you have authentic conversations about Happy Money and create a happy family.

Key Takeaways:

• Transparency is Key: Don't hide financial struggles from your children; honest conversations are crucial.

• Teach Financial Skills: Budgeting, needs vs. wants, price vs. value, and delaying gratification are essential life skills.

• Lead by Example: Show your children how to have a healthy relationship with money.

• Empower Their Decisions: Let them make informed choices about spending and saving.

• Listen Actively: Be present and listen to your children's concerns and questions.

• Ask Empowering Questions: Engage them in meaningful conversations.

• Delay Gratification: teach the value of waiting and saving.

• Happy money is a family affair: Involve your family in your money journey.

Hey everyone, Gino Barbaro here. In this video, we're talking about creating "Happy Rhythms" for your family. Interestingly, running a happy family is a lot like running a successful business.

A happy family has a culture, core values, and a mission statement, even if you haven't explicitly written them down. Think about companies like Chick-fil-A. They have a strong mission statement, superior customer service, and amazing rhythms. They've built a culture that thrives, and that's what we want for our families.

The first step is creating rhythms within your family – consistent habits. Don't tell me you don't have time for family dinner at least once a week. Even when I was running my restaurant, I made sure to have breakfast with my kids. Establishing a rhythm is wonderful.

Dinner time is one of my favorite times of the day. It's chaos, but we're connecting as a family. Turn off devices; no phones at the table. If you're using your phone, they'll follow your lead. Turn off the TV. Have 30-45 minutes of quiet time. Maybe have the kids cook a meal once a week.

Another rhythm is spending individual time with each child, doing something they enjoy, not you. For your spouse, it's date night. I struggled with this early on, thinking it was too expensive or I didn't have time. But it's not just for you; it shows your kids what a healthy relationship looks like. You're their mentors.

We also love gardening, cooking, and spending time on our farm with our donkeys and chickens. It's about spending time together.

The most important thing is to keep it fun. Don't make it a chore. If it's exhausting, step back. Find out what each child likes to do.

I know you're busy, but there's always time. As Mother Teresa said, "If you're too busy to pray, then you're too busy." If you're too busy for your family, you're too busy. Many entrepreneurs say they're doing it for their family, but did you ask them? It often comes down to our own needs.

Start carving out time each day. Create those rhythms where you spend time with your family, even if it's just a little bit.

Key Takeaways:

• Family as a Business: Treat your family like a business with culture, core values, and a mission.

• Consistent Rhythms: Establish consistent habits like family dinners and individual time with each child.

• Device-Free Time: Create device-free zones, especially during family time.

• Shared Activities: Find activities the whole family enjoys doing together.

• Individual Attention: Spend quality time with each child, doing what they love.

• Date Nights: Prioritize date nights with your spouse to model a healthy relationship.

• Time Management: Make time for family, even if you're busy.

• Prioritize Family: Understand that family time is paramount, and adjust your schedule accordingly.

• Fun and Connection: Keep family time fun and focused on connection.

Hey everyone, Gino Barbaro here. In this final video of the series, we're focusing on skills parents can adopt to become better parents and create a happy family.

I love this quote: "Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child." It's hard to see your child struggle, but you can't fix everything for them. When my son was in college and struggling with accounting, I didn't give him the answers. I wanted him to struggle. If I had fixed it, he wouldn't have learned perseverance. He finished the semester, passed, and even enjoyed it. It's about the growth mindset, not the fixed mindset.

Don't always solve their problems; help them, but don't take over. They need to find their own road.

Here are some skills for parents:

• Saying Sorry: It's challenging, but important. My mom's generation didn't admit fault. But saying sorry shows transparency and helps your child grow into a healthy adult. Pride and ego are destructive. Just say, "Sorry, I didn't mean to do that." We even have a podcast with Dr. Jennifer Thomas on the five apology languages, similar to Dr. Gary Chapman's five love languages.

• Listening: I've talked about this before, but it's crucial. Just listen to your children. We don't always need to tell them what to do. Ask questions. They often have the answers inside them but are fearful or confused. Help them pull those answers out.

• Teaching Abundance: I grew up with scarcity. Teach your children about abundance – that within problems, there are always opportunities. When an employee comes to us with a problem, we ask for solutions. Teach your kids to do the same. Don't just complain; find solutions.

• Setting Boundaries: Kids need structure and guidance, especially when they're young. Boundaries help them grow into productive adults.

• Finding Their Purpose: Don't just tell them to go to college and get a good job. Ask them what they love to do, where they see themselves in five years, what lights them up, and what their passion is. It's their road, not yours. Guide them toward their passions, without judgment.

If you ask your children what they love to do and guide them towards that and not being judgmental and having them come to you and share that with you is so powerful that is one of the best and biggest steps you can do to creating a happy family.

I'd love to hear what you're doing to create a happier family in the comments below.

Key Takeaways:

• Prepare, Don't Fix: Let your children struggle and learn; don't solve all their problems.

• Say "Sorry": Admitting mistakes teaches humility and helps your children grow into healthy adults.

• Listen Actively: Be present and listen to your children's concerns and questions.

• Teach Abundance: Show them that within problems, there are opportunities.

• Set Boundaries: Provide structure and guidance, especially when they're young.

• Guide, Don't Dictate: Help them find their purpose and passions, not just a career path.

• Empowering Questions: Engage them in meaningful conversations.

• Happy money is a family affair: Involve your family in your money journey.

I hope this was helpful! Let me know if there's anything else I can do.

Hey everyone, Gino Barbaro here. In this final lesson, we're discussing what a "Happy Legacy" truly means.

We often hear about generational wealth, leaving money to our kids. While that's noble, we need to go further. We can't just focus on the financial aspect, though it's important. My parents did that for me, and I want to do it for my children. But a Happy Legacy also involves leaving your values to your children.

How do you do that? By being with them, sharing with them, and teaching them to be financial stewards. Happy Money, Happy Family, and Happy Legacy are all interconnected.

I was blown away by David Green, the founder of Hobby Lobby. His legacy isn't just financial; it's about glorifying God. He believes everything belongs to God, and he's just a steward. His family is involved, they're on payroll, and he donates more than half of the company's billion-dollar revenue to charities. That's his Happy Legacy.

What do you want your legacy to look like? For me, it's about my children being financially well-educated, loving God, having faith, being hard workers, respecting money, understanding Happy Money, and being financial stewards of what I leave them.

Creating platforms like Jake and Gino and Barbaro 360 is part of leaving that legacy. Your grandkids will watch these videos! It's like planting a seed in a garden you may never see grow. That's legacy. It's "cathedral thinking" – long-term planning.

Involve your children in these conversations. You don't want to leave them a burden. An unhappy legacy is them being unprepared, leading to infighting, entitlement, and no direction.

You want them empowered, understanding your hard work and values. You want those values to flow into the next generation. That's a Happy Legacy.

Key Takeaways:

• Beyond Financial Wealth: A Happy Legacy includes both financial stability and the transmission of core values.

• Financial Stewardship: Teach your children to be responsible stewards of the wealth they inherit.

• Values Transmission: Actively share your values with your children through your actions and words.

• Long-Term Thinking: Legacy is about long-term planning and impacting future generations.

• Involve Your Children: Include your children in legacy planning to avoid burdening them with unpreparedness.

• Empowerment, Not Entitlement: Aim to empower your children with your legacy, not create a sense of entitlement.

• Cathedral Thinking: Think beyond your own lifetime and plant seeds for future generations.

• Happy Legacy is about values: Money is a tool, but values are what define the legacy.

Hey everyone, Gino Barbaro here. In this session, we're taking the concept of legacy from the previous video and exploring the practical steps you can take to build your own lasting legacy. We've discussed the importance of values and financial stewardship, but how do we put those ideas into action?

Building a legacy isn't just about wishing for a better future; it's about intentional planning and consistent effort. It involves understanding your current financial situation, clarifying your values, and setting clear goals for the future.

We'll discuss the importance of open communication with your family, especially your spouse, about your legacy plans. This includes sharing your vision, discussing your values, and ensuring everyone is on the same page.

We'll also delve into the practicalities of financial planning, such as estate planning, creating trusts, and setting up charitable foundations. These are crucial steps in ensuring your wealth is distributed according to your wishes and that your values are upheld.

Moreover, we'll explore how to instill those values in the next generation. This involves teaching them about financial responsibility, encouraging them to pursue their passions, and demonstrating the importance of giving back to the community.

Ultimately, building a legacy is about creating a lasting impact that extends beyond your lifetime. It's about leaving a positive mark on the world and ensuring your values continue to guide future generations.

Key Takeaways (Based on the inferred content):

• Intentional Planning: Legacy building requires deliberate planning and consistent effort.

• Open Communication: Share your legacy plans with your family, especially your spouse.

• Financial Planning: Implement practical financial strategies like estate planning and trusts.

• Values Instillation: Teach your children about financial responsibility and the importance of your values.

• Lasting Impact: Focus on creating a positive impact that extends beyond your lifetime.

• Practical Steps: Learn the practical steps to take, to move towards your desired legacy.

• Goal Setting: Set clear, tangible goals for your legacy.