How to Quit Porn and Masturbation for Good in 2023

When you work on breaking a bad habit, it’s difficult to just drop it.

If you drop it, your brain will literally feel a void, like something’s missing.

And that will make you crave porn even more than you used to.

Instead, you want to give a new habit to your subconscious.

Here’s an example from a client who made it to 100 days on NoFap:

He loves watching this TV show, The Mandalorian.

But the only time he’s watching it now is when he has an urge.

And he’s watching just 10 minutes of it.

This is his new habit in place of the old PMO habit.

It makes it easier for his brain to handle the loss of porn and jerking off.

One reason is the pleasure that he associates with the new habit because he builds anticipation.

That’s how you reinforce the new good habit: you reward yourself for resisting urges.

It can be something instant. In fact, if you do something like watching The Mandalorian as my client does, there’s pleasure already built into it.

But you can also give yourself a more distant reward.

For example, another client rewards himself for a clean week by shopping for new clothes on Sunday.

You need to change what you believe about porn and masturbation. Now you believe that this habit brings you pure pleasure.

Instead, start thinking about the pain that comes with it. Here’s how I did it.

I identified an old belief:

“PMO makes me feel great whenever I feel depressed or bored.”

Sounds too good to be true, right So I came up with these replacement beliefs:

• The raw, carnal pleasure I get is really short-lasting.

• Something I have to hide from others can’t be good for me.

• I develop erectile dysfunction.

• Porn makes sex look so perfect that I don’t get aroused by “real life” sex.

• When I am free from it, I’ll have more time and energy for the things that I enjoy.

That’s my example. Now find new beliefs that make sense to you and write them down. Perfect!

Keep them in front of you and affirm them throughout the day.

The best time to do it is when you are in a peak state.

For example, a peak state for me is in a sauna because I feel ecstatic there.

Whatever I do in that peak state gets associated with the pleasure that I feel.

And this creates a strong neuro-association in my mind.

Finally, keep reading or watching NoFap and personal growth materials to reinforce your new beliefs.

It’s a mental diet that reminds you why this is important to you.

Are you wasting your golden years being single?

What happens when you stop jerking off to porn is that you free tons of energy and time.

And you can invest those right back into finding love.

Start doing it now. Don't waste any more time.

And then you'll realize that this is probably the best NoFap strategy.

Enjoying a deep connection and intimacy with your girlfriend will make porn pale in comparison.

Can you allow yourself losing another year to PMO ❓ It can happen unless you take action when you feel most motivated.

This is a few minutes after a PMO session. That's whey your eyes really open to that porn is doing to your life.

You have to act immediately in that Opening. Otherwise, your animal brain will start attacking you with urges soon again.

I know you don’t want to relapse but let’s face it—you might.

And you’re going to use each relapse as an opportunity to teach your brain to dislike relapsing. You do this by punishing yourself.

One of my coaching clients cooked pasta and gave it to a colleague whom he disliked.

Another guy told himself to wash the floors immediately after relapsing. He never did, by the way, because he’s never relapsed and he has been on NoFap for 2+ years so far.

The key here is exercising the discipline to actually apply the punishment. As long as you do it, your brain will start associating pain with relapses rather than pleasure.

Next thing you know, you won’t want to relapse.

When you watch a lot of porn and masturbate every night, you desensitize yourself both to porn and real sex.

Eventually, getting a hard erection while watching porn and having sex might become difficult. You might get a weak erection but then your penis might fall down quickly.

You might need more and more stimulating porn then. This is a downward spiral of porn-induced erectile dysfunction.

If you don't want to get to that place, stop watching porn now. Use it as motivation.

If you are already there, you need to see a doctor and also stop watching porn. It's not too late but make sure that you don't worsen your condition by more overstimulation.

One of my clients, Jake, likes to shop online.

He loves buying clothes for himself because he goes out a lot.

Plus, he likes to improve his apartment with beautiful things.

So Jake was going through a porn reboot with me and made a commitment.

He was to shop on Sunday only—as long as he stuck to the replacement habit during the week.

For Jake, that habit was playing an online game instead of watching porn or jerking off.

That's how he reinforced his replacement habit in a positive way.

You're going to do the same: resist urges with the replacement habit and reward yourself for it.

A reward can be distant—like in Jake's case.

And/or it can be instant.

Another client reads an article online right after he resists an urge.

Here are a few ideas for rewards:

What do you like to do? Deny yourself those pleasures and use them as a reward.

• Take a quick nap or meditate.

• Get a massage.

• Buy clothes/anything that you have built anticipation for.

• Drive around for an hour or two if you enjoy it.

• Take a weekend trip to an amusement park.

• Go on a weekend retreat.

• Go to a sauna.

• Take your kid or a nephew on a full day out to do whatever they like.

• Order a subscription box.

• Do something adventurous that you always wanted. Like bungee jumping, etc.

• Now that you have pleasure associated with the positive replacement habit, you will install it faster.

And porn is already becoming a thing of the past.

With that said, it's time for our next lesson.

I will see you there. Keep going — you're doing very well.

Hitting the gym is super helpful for NoFap. It helps with depression.

It keeps you busy as you are getting in shape. You work on your body and your diet, leaving less mental bandwidth for urges.

You also feel amazing after the gym. You enjoy the kick of endorphins and you feel proud of yourself.

Now you have more energy and motivation to do NoFap. It's a virtuous cycle.

One problem with PMO is that you hide your dirty little secret from everyone else. You start to think that you are alone in this battle and no one understands you.

Your ego gets stronger every time until you convince yourself that this addiction is who you are.

But you can break this cycle by opening up about your struggles to someone else. This will broaden your perspective and show you that there's life outside of your ego.

Also being vulnerable boosts the neuroplasticity of your brain, making your porn reboot faster and easier.

Use meditation to fight urges to watch pornography.

Meditation is one of the top three ways to fight the urge to fap. It’s up there with hitting the gym and taking a walk.

Meditation will help you clear your mind. You will defeat the urge, keeping your NoFap streak intact.

Plus, meditation builds your willpower by resculpting your prefrontal cortex. Your impulse control gets better.

If you find it hard to meditate, though, follow my guided meditation. You will feel true NoFap motivation as I am speaking to the Hero in you.

https://youtu.be/lL7AjNXD9MA

Sexual urges are powerful. Most people choose to waste that power.

But some people were able to manage this power in a productive way.

One of them is Napoleon Hill, a famous self-help author.

100 years ago, he practiced and wrote about sex transmutation

He rechanneled his sexual energy in order to boost creativity, willpower, and success.

That’s how he was able to be a very successful writer.

Horniness is good. In my book, horniness is not a symptom but a feature. It’s a feature of a healthy adult male. Some people waste that power through fapping while others rechannel it into creativity like Napoleon Hill.

In my own life, I rechanneled my own horniness into my life purpose. I tapped into the endless source of creativity that is in all of us.

I also created some wonderful relationships, including one with a girl I had long liked.

How to rewire your brain from porn using the SP concept

SP is a simple strategy that I came up with in the process of rewiring my brain from porn back in 2014 when I felt depressed.

Selfish Pleasure

What did I do about my depression❓Reach out for help ❓Get therapy ❓Find the root cause ❓

I did PMO.

I traded pleasure now for pain later. The pain of regretting the wasted time and potential.

And not just pain but also no motivation. I didn’t want to work hard. All I wanted was more and more PMO.

And also no results. No results in my business. No results in my marriage.

Oh wait. Actually, there was a result. My wife divorced me.

That pleasure from PMO was what I call Selfish Pleasure.

Sustainable Pleasure

My first step out of depression was upgrading Selfish Pleasure to Sustainable pleasure.

I replaced PMO with listening to my favorite music. I looked forward to it and felt better.

That’s how I rewired my brain from porn initially. It was still pleasure but now with no pain later.

But again, no motivation. After relaxing to music, I didn’t want to return to hard work.

And no results. Oh wait, it did help me rewire my brain from porn indirectly.

But normally, Sustainable Pleasures are there to give us comfort. They don’t aim for any specific result.

Stoic Pleasure

Finally, I discovered a totally different kind of pleasure. Stoic Pleasure.

I challenged myself on purpose. I wanted a girlfriend. And I worked hard to find her.

That was difficult because I did cold approach. I faced a lot of rejection and made many mistakes I regretted.

I traded pain now for pleasure later. The cleanest of all pleasures:

Porn-free

Regret-free

Waste-free

And motivation ❓ Yes, I felt motivated because I saw progress in social skills.

And results ❓ Hmm. Oh wait, I got a girlfriend ?

Okay, that’s quite a challenge. But take a simpler Stoic Pleasure such as cold shower.

Yes, you are feeling tons of pain in the now but you trade it for pleasure later. It just feels great to return to your normal, non-shower state.

You feel proud. And you feel motivated because your testosterone goes up.

Get your balance of pleasure right

Do this to rewire your brain from porn just like I did. Get your balance of pleasure right.

Stoic Pleasure: 80 to 90%

Sustainable Pleasure: 10 to 20%

Selfish Pleasure: 0%

Do the hard work at school, work, or dating. Feel the pain. And throw in some cold showers for some extra stoic pain.

And then reap the rewards of that pain. Enjoy the Stoic Pleasure of results, and pride, and motivation.

And then watch an episode of your favorite TV show at the end of the day for some Sustainable Pleasure.

You want to feel in charge of your life. You want to rechannel sexual energy into creativity. You want to be confident and have a social life.

You can't just hope for luck to get all those things.

Even if you get a girlfriend by luck, you will likely lose her soon because you won't have developed relationship skills through sacrifice and suffering.

You need to go through them to get all those benefits.

I love this quote from Muhammad Ali that sums up this concept very well:

I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'

You are sacrificing your porn-full and regretful existence now.

You are suffering now to live the rest of your life porn-free and regret-free.

A strength sensei Charles Poliquin used to say this:

"Discipline is a myth. It's a question of what you love more. What do you like more — chiseled abs or donuts?"

You are sacrificing "donuts" — 5 minutes of pleasure now. You are choosing to suffer for those 5 minutes because you want chiseled abs.

I am also inspired by Mike Tyson's perspective on sacrifice:

"My edge is my willingness to sacrifice. I am willing to do anything to myself to be the best in the world. I am willing to sacrifice my body and psychological health. I get at 4 AM to run in the snow. I do this because I know my opponent won't. Sometimes you have to sacrifice your life for a marriage. Sacrifice your life for a goal you want to accomplish."

That's what success and fulfillment are about. Giving up things that feel good now for feeling good forever after.

“15 Minutes of Sacrifice” technique: bad scenario

Imagine yourself feeling unhappy or bored or lonely. And you want to escape this feeling.

So you press the Free Dopamine Fix button: you watch porn, masturbate, and feel good in the process.

You escape that bad feeling.

But how long does it last? On average, 15 minutes.

What happens after that? You feel even worse than when you started.

And you have that bad feeling on average for 2 hours. So that’s 15 minutes of pleasure vs. 2 hours of pain.

That said, let’s look at an alternative scenario.

“15 Minutes of Sacrifice” technique: good scenario

Again, you feel unhappy or bored and want to escape. But this time, you spend the same 15 minutes not doing PMO.

You choose to be strong. I know that is difficult… and painful.

But afterward, you get 2 hours of pleasure because you feel good about making the right choice.

That’s 15 minutes of pain vs. 2 hours of pleasure.

When you compare these two options, the choice is obvious.

That said, here’s how you can apply the “15 Minutes of Sacrifice” technique to go “No PMO”:

Step 1: Use a timer and get moving

Suppose you feel the urge to watch porn.

Set a timer for 15 minutes.

And then get moving. Get UP! Stretch!

Movement changes your state, helping you to shift focus from the urge to physical activity.

Step 2: Program yourself for awareness

Here’s a mantra you repeat to yourself during these 15 minutes:

"How I’ll spend these 15 minutes matters.

My mind always looks for threats to ensure my survival.

It sees my unhappiness as a threat and pushes me to escape it with short-term pleasure of PMO.

I appreciate it but is it critical for my survival? Not really.

PMO will just make me feel good for 15 minutes.

But then I will feel even worse for 2 hours.

I am exercising my power to flip it.

Instead, I’ll feel bad for 15 minutes but then I will feel good for 2 hours.

I am a rational person. It makes sense to me. I am making a conscious choice.

By saying this, you literally program yourself for “No PMO.”

Step 3: Get yourself motivated

Now think of your deep motivation to flip 15 minutes and 2 hours.

Those 2 hours feel great because you don’t feel pain.

You didn’t succumb to the temptation.

You didn’t let your lower self make the decision for you.

You made the right choice and let your higher self take over.

“There is no real excellence in all this world which can be separated from right living.” ― David Starr Jordan.

You’re living a good life—that’s what gives you real lasting happiness.

You’re being kind to your body and mind—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Step 4: Exercise discipline

That’s your defining moment.

We can talk about it all day but in the end… it all comes down to execution.

Reach into your heart and find the strong part of you—the warrior.

He can do it… and will.

Step 5: Watch this video repeatedly

Finally, return to this video often. Especially when you have an urge.

It will remind you about the “15 Minutes of Sacrifice” technique and keep you motivated.

What are the famous last words that broke so many NoFap streaks❓

"I will just peek/edge."

These are the biggest lies fappers tell themselves.

Admit you are addicted. Admit that you are deceiving yourself.

This is the fist step toward recovery.

Now, a study done on 100,000 men and women…

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/psychological-medicine/article/porn-use-and-mens-and-womens-sexual-performance-evidence-from-a-large-longitudinal-sample/665B68D9E195A19B5825F9411B059927

In a 2022 study from Switzerland, researchers looked at how porn influences men and women. Here's what they found for men:

A higher frequency of porn use (wave 1) and increased porn use over time (waves 1–3) were associated with lower levels of sexual self-competence, impaired sexual functioning, and decreased partner-reported sexual satisfaction.

Interestingly, the study showed a different result for women:

Among women, higher and increasing frequencies of porn use were associated with higher levels of sexual self-competence, improved sexual functioning, and enhanced partner-reported sexual satisfaction (for some aspects).

As a man, you kill your sexual drive and satisfaction with porn. How's that for No Fap motivation?

Your phone is a trigger. You taught your animal brain that every time you grab it, it gives you pleasure.

You are lying to yourself that you will be on the phone just for a few minutes. Instead, you get lost in mindless watching.

This device is made to keep you on it all the time. It is outsmarting you.

You need to break the PMO cycle by outsmarting your smartphone.

Keep it as far away from you as possible. Make it difficult to grab it. You won’t get triggered.

Don’t grab it at bedtime and when you wake up. Read a book or meditate instead.

There are too many people choosing porn which is the Dark side.

As a society, we are losing the battle to the Dark side.

We need you on the Light side. We need every warrior on the Light side.

If you watch porn, you go to the Dark side.

But if you do one simple thing to make the world a better place, such as picking up some garbage on the street, you are on the Light side.

Use this guided meditation to fight the urge to watch pornography.

Meditation is one of the top three ways to fight the urge to fap. It’s up there with hitting the gym and taking a walk.

If you find it hard to meditate, though, follow my guided meditation.

This meditation will help you clear your mind. You will defeat the urge, keeping your NoFap streak intact.

You will feel true NoFap motivation as I am speaking to the Hero in you.

Return to this guided NoFap meditation whenever you are fighting the urge to watch pornography. Keep showing your mind that your Hero Brain is in control.

One reason you watch porn is that you don't feel confident in life.

You struggle with being social. You don't have the confidence to talk to other people. You have anxiety.

And then you watch porn to escape those depressive feelings.

But you know that this coping mechanism is not sustainable. Your life is already getting worse. And eventually, PMO will drive you into the ground.

Instead, you can build your confidence so that you are social and can enjoy life rather than run from it. Here's one key strategy for doing that.

Your animal brain hates embarrassment. This is exactly why you don't feel confident. You don't want to say or do something stupid so that other people judge you and laugh at you.

Now you can hack this smartly. You need to teach your brain that embarrassment is okay.

To do that, you embarrass yourself on purpose. You do absurd things in front of other people. You push your comfort zone.

That's how your animal brain lets go of micromanaging the expectations of other people. And you feel more confident

Porn creates expectations of overstimulation

I want you to make three realizations after watching this video.

First, porn sex teaches your brain that this is what real sex is supposed to look like.

You expect the same level of overstimulation.

That’s why real sex seems so boring that you need ever more overstimulation.

Think of ice cream vs broccoli.

After you eat 5 ice cream bars, you don’t want broccoli because your taste buds are overstimulated.

It gets hard to get hard with a girl. You can end up with Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction.

Weird stuff for overstimulation

Most girls don’t like weird acts shown in porn.

Take group sex, for example.

And frankly, many men aren’t interested in them either.

I mean: group sex with your girl?

Come on!

Porn shows it just to increase the intensity and overstimulate you.

With that said, let’s look at yet another difference.

You want the Truth—with a capital letter T

Real sex is the Truth while porn is avoidance of the Truth.

Overstimulation is about ego, selfishness, and escape from reality.

The Truth is about love, depth, and selflessness.

Consciousness.

Wean yourself off those overstimulating images.

Focus on the real thing.

Focus on giving love rather than pleasing yourself.

This will magnify your sexual experiences 10-fold.

Walking is one of the top three ways to fight the urge to fap. It’s up there with hitting the gym and meditation.

Walking changes your physiology. When you sit for too long, you send your body and mind into a dulled and depressed state.

But when you get up and move, your body and mind get a positive message. They wake up and feel more upbeat.

Then it's easier to resist the urge.

Plus, when you take a walk, you interact with the world. You get out of your head. Your ego dissolves a little bit and so do the urges.

Addiction is like a tree. Branches and leaves are what you see in a tree.

And with porn addiction what you see is the behavior you are addicted to.

But there’s more to a tree. You don’t see what’s causing the branches and leaves to grow

It is the roots. This is the real power behind the tree.

With addiction, there’s also a root. A root cause of the addiction.

And to break free, you need to become aware of that root cause.

Now, the challenge is that you keep thinking about the addiction itself. And you don’t have any time or energy or headspace to see that root cause—a bigger problem.

A key step is to push yourself to step away from porn addiction at least for a few days.

It’s the hardest part, I know.

But after you pushed yourself to do it, you think about porn less often. You see that you need addiction to cover up the root cause.

You have the time, energy, and headspace to dig for the root cause.

And to work on resolving that psychological deficit.

When we are bored, our feelings come to the surface. If these feelings are unpleasant, we want to distract ourselves by watching porn.

But be okay with boredom and replace a negative boredom action with a positive one.

Say to yourself, “This week I want to make a date with myself to be bored. Instead of watching porn to distract myself from boredom, I will meditate, hit the gym, or go for a walk.”

If you stay patient with your boredom for just 15 minutes, it will go away. Our mind doesn't like to feel the same emotion for too long.

And them you will rechannel boredom into doing something productive.

Commit ?% to a NoFap experiment

Beating a chronic bad habit like PMO is not easy. But it is doable if you have a NoFap Battle Plan and commitment.

Your NoFap Battle Plan is this course. It will teach you exactly what to do.

But you need the commitment to study the course and do the tasks. Without it, nothing works.

Now commitment is something you need to self-generate. Here are a few ideas:

Think of how sick you are of PMO. Imagine your life as it keeps getting worse with each year of PMO. And then imagine how amazing you’ll feel PMO-free.

Read about the science of the dangers of PMO: https://romanmironov.com/nofap-motivation

Watch my NoFap motivation videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2oepsyvE-s

Remember that you are not alone in this battle. Many people quit PMO already, including me. You can do it, too.

A follower Алтегоре shared his porn-blocking DNS. That’s what he said:

"I tried willpower alone. It never works, at least for me.
I tried going outside or showers etc, when the urges hit – also not much result.
So I realized that only a combination of layers of nonnegotiable blocking is the only way to get it out of my life, especially with strong urges."
He implemented this best porn blocker setup:

1. CleanBrowsing DNS resolver settings in the router.

2. Cold Turkey on the PC/Mac

3. Blocker Hero on your phone (paid version is better but not absolutely necessary)

That’s how Алтегоре feels now:

"I feel like I’m a different person even though all of my streaks are “dirty” – as in, there was always some peeking or edging involved. Either way, I’m already changed and am looking forward to seeing the difference with a clean streak with the help of the barrier system in place."

Lack of proximity

Make reaching porn a huge bother. A very difficult, nearly impossible labor. And never, ever, trust willpower alone… For any hardcore addict: that’s never gonna cut it.

Think army or prison. There is no escape – you have no choice but to obey the system because it leaves you no choice but to cooperate.

By blocking porn with a competent system like I described – you simply CAN’T say “no”. It won’t let you choose any other way.

Improving your porn-blocking DNS over time

Everyone would have to set it up and then patch it up every time an opening has been found. With each new update, the system should be less and less penetrable until it reaches a point where it’s practically nearly impossible. I’d say that would take around 6 months on average to do, the whole find a gap, relapse, patch it up, try again.

1. The more stoic pleasure you have, the more willpower to resist the urges to PMO.

2. Exercise. Push yourself in the workout to the point you feel sore. Feel the pleasure the next day. Teach your brain how clean and long-lasting.

3. Challenge yourself to be social. Face a lot of rejection and make many mistakes.

That's how you trade pain now for pleasure later. The cleanest of all pleasures:

• Porn-free

• Regret-free

• Waste-free

You will feel motivated by your progress in social skills.

Also, take a simpler Stoic Pleasure such as cold shower.

Yes, you are feeling tons of pain in the now but you trade it for pleasure later. It just feels great to return to your normal, non-shower state.

You feel proud. And you feel motivated because your testosterone goes up.

Associate pain with the process of PMO

If you are stoic like me, this technique could be very helpful.

Among other ways to stop masturbating that I use with clients is something that I discovered through sleep.

I used to be addicted to sleep.

I would go to bed very late and struggle with getting up in the morning.

Every time my alarm would go… I would just snooze it and turn to the other side.

And then I became conscious of why I was turning.

I didn’t feel comfortable lying in the same position all the time. Especially on my back.

So this is what I started to do — I would keep lying on my back and feel the discomfort.

Which made staying in bed at all appealing.

And eventually, I retrained my mind from associating pleasure with sleeping to associating pain with it,

I now teach a similar technique to make the PMO process painful rather than pleasant:

• Don’t watch porn

• Masturbate standing up in the bathroom, watching yourself in the eye

• Masturbate in rubber gloves

• Put pepper on your hands

• 
  

Congratulations❗You did it.

You created your NoFap Battle Plan. You now have a replacement habit that you do instead of PMO.

You reward yourself intentionally for being PMO-free.

You know your psychological deficit and work on fixing it.

You remind yourself of your potential every day and work on actualizing it.

You are my hero ❗

Thank you for taking the course.

You’re awesome because you’re one of the few people who take action to stop watching porn and jerking off.

I am so happy to meet you on the other side of this addiction. The NoFap side. Welcome

NoFap is a great accomplishment. You are now Level 5.

As a life coach, my goal now is to help you get to Level 10 and beyond. Let’s tap into every drop of your potential.

You can have great success with your career or business.

You can enjoy an amazing intimate relationship. You can enjoy life at a higher level than you do now.

Let’s talk and see how I can push you to new heights. We are a team. Click this link to contact me:

https://romanmironov.com/contact/

Now you might have taken the course and still feel you are not PMO-free. You might benefit from a more personalized approach.

This is a deeper program I can also help you with. When you take a paid NoFap program with me, I work with you one on one to make sure you quit PMO forever.

I will push and encourage you every day to be the best version of yourself instead of being run by your animal brain.

Click this link to see my paid PMO recovery programs:

https://romanmironov.com/pmo-recovery

And sign up quickly before PMO sucks you back into the comfort zone of excuses and self-deceit.