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The Fundamentals of Addiction - A Family Member's Guide

Name: The Fundamentals of Addiction - A Family Member's Guide
Rating: 4.7 (8 reviews)

Learn the Psychology behind addiction and how to help a family member or friend towards recovery.

Created byDenise Roberts

Last updated 7/2021

English

What you'll learn

You will learn everything you need to know about helping a family member who struggles with addiction.
You will learn how to help your loved one through detox.
You will be able to help them with setting a quit date.
You will be able to understand why their physical health is so important when fighting an addiction which includes their fitness, nutrition and sleep.
You will be able to help them psychological with their mental health, spiritual health and be able to help them live each day with intention.
You will learn how to help them navigate their social circles which includes their friends, family, and professional relationships.
You will be able to help them identify triggers and be able to help them work through them.
You will be able to help them if they have a relapse.
You will be able to identify what may be a crisis situation and will be given the tools necessary to work through the crisis.
You will be able to identify your own use of substances or behaviors and learn how to care for yourself first.

Course content

5 sections • 53 lectures • 2h 1m total length

Introduction1:30
Welcome to Fundamental of Addiction - a Family Member’s Guide. You are here because someone you love is struggling with addiction. My goal for you is to give you all the tools you will need to help them navigate their recovery.
My name is Denise and I’m the owner of LiveRehab.com. I have spent many years working with people who struggle with addiction. I have an Associate’s Degree in Chemical Dependency, a Bachelors’ Degree in Counseling with an emphasis in Chemical Dependency, Substance Abuse and Addiction and a Master’s degree in Psychology.
I created a program called The Sobriety Success Method which helps people in a holistic way obtain sobriety from home.
In this course, we will be going over many different aspects so that you can have a better understanding and perspective of what the person you care about is going through. I will walk you through step by step on the things you need to do to help them. We will also be talking about how to take care of your own self as you want to make sure you are in a good place to be helping.
First, I want you to know all the things that will be covered in this course so let’s get started.
Introduction
Course Overview1:21
I have worked with thousands of students over the years. I created the Sobriety Success Method because I know how hard it is for people to obtain sobriety. The options are limited; in-patient and out-patient don’t always work for people especially if they have work, family or pets. 12-step meetings don’t work for most people either. (If you want information on the relapse statistics for any of this, I’d recommend Googling it - you will be astonished.
In this course we will talk through on how you can help your loved one obtain sobriety or kick their addiction from home and with your support, their chances will be that much greater. But, you have to do it right and that’s why I’m glad you’re here.
So we’ll kick it off by talking about all the reasons and things you need to know to help your family member, why setting a quit date is important and how you can help them through detox.
In the next section, we’ll talk about their physical health, psychological health and navigating social social circles.
In section 3 we’ll talk about how you can help them with triggers, what to do if they relapse, and crisis and suicide support.
And then in our last section we’ll talk about you and why taking care of your own self is just as important as helping them.
So with that being said, let’s now talk about what you need to know about helping a family member.
What You Need to Know about Helping a Family Member2:08
Before we get started I wanted to first off say that the fact you are here reading this, shows that you care. Regardless of how far you get with the person you care about and their addiction and recovery, just know that I know you are doing the best that you can.
The purpose of this course is to arm you with certain tools that you can use that you may not have ever known you needed and to help you understand some of the behind the scenes of what it might be like for the person experiencing addiction and wanting so desperately to recover.
With all this being said, your intervention has to come at the right time for both you and the person who is struggling with addiction. For the purpose of this course I’m going to refer to them as “them.”
So the right time for them is not something you can control. They will know when the right time for them is. But keep this in mind, not every person’s right time will look the same. Some people hit a complete rock bottom and others may not appear to be even close to a rock bottom but hear this, if they are saying the time is now, the time is truly now. Now whether or not they follow through with setting a quit date and a full plan so that they can fully recover, is also not in your control and if they relapse, most of the time has nothing to do with what you did or didn’t do.
At the same time, if you want to have an active role in their recovery, the timing has to be right for you. So don’t beat yourself up if you don’t think you have what it takes to fully commit to helping them - most people don’t! But, some do and hopefully that will be you after reading this guide.
The best thing to do is to watch this course all the way through and then go back through each lecture/chapter as you experience them in real time. Once you’ve read through the whole guide/course you will then if you the timing is right for you.
Again, I want to thank you for taking the time to watch this. Having these necessary tools can make a huge difference in the recovery process.
The Importance of Setting a Quit Date2:37
I work with and have worked with many people who struggle with addiction. One of the things that is most obvious when someone relapses is their lack of preparation beforehand. This is part of the Sobriety Success Method. I want to make sure all of my students are fully prepared before they take the plunge. When someone says, “I’m quitting today” it’s usually because they are tired of fighting and want to find an end to the misery but the reason it doesn’t work well like that is because there’s so much more that goes into addiction and recovery that needs to be thought out.
The Sobriety Success Method has 4 major components; Physical Health, Psychological Health, Social Health and Addiction focused topics. The one thing I always encourage my students to do is to fully understand and prepare for the Sobriety Success Method so that they can go into the program knowing what it’s going to take. Once they know this and are mentally prepared, I ask them that they set a quit date.
A quit date is unique to every person as everybody’s situation is different. There are major factors to consider when setting a date such as whether or not they will need detox. If they have family, pets or loved ones they need to care for. What their professional status is like and so on. If detox is something they need to go through, which we’ll talk about next, then they will need to pick a date where they will be free from responsibilities for a few days. When someone is detoxing, it’s not wise to be a primary caregiver for anyone, have to go into work, etc. Other things to consider are events that may be coming up where they cannot be detoxed from or not a good environment to be in when newly in recovery such as a wedding or family reunion.
I also ask my students to tell someone if possible, when their quit date is. Someone they care about and don’t want to let down. The chances of them being able to follow through with a specific date is higher if they are being held accountable. That may be you and if it is, make sure you express to them how important it is for them to make sure they stick to the date they picked out and do what you can to support them on that day. I always recommend, trying to get out and do a little shopping to prepare for detox before withdrawals start kicking in. Perhaps you can help them be sure they are prepared.
Just remember, that if they are telling you their quit date they are doing that for a reason. They need someone to help them and they don’t want to disappoint you.
Helping them through Detox6:33
Helping someone you love through detox is challenging and often traumatic for the helper. Nobody wants to see someone they care about go through detox. Your role in helping them through detox is crucial so it’s best if you are prepared.
The first thing you will want to do is educate yourself and what type of detox they may need. If they are detoxing from alcohol or benzos, if they have any sort of medical condition or if they are pregnant, it’s important that it is done under the supervision of a medical professional. You’ll want to see if there are any medically monitored detox facilities you can get them into. If that isn’t an option then make an appointment with your regular doctor so they can advise you on next steps.
If you are choosing to detox at home, it’s important that you help them safely. But before you can help them you need to prepare your own self so that you can be strong enough to help them.
You need to ask yourself if you are ready to see your loved one in pain. Are you ready to help them to the toilet, hold their hair if they are vomiting. Bring them water, clean their sheets, etc.? Can you do all this in a calm and loving way? Being angry or annoyed at them will not help the situation at all. If you want them to get better, you will need to show them love, respect and be truly empathetic towards their situation. This will be one of the hardest things they will ever have to go through and their strength and success will partially depend on the support they are getting from you. If you are mad at them, they will unlikely be able to handle the emotional toll that takes on top of the physical. The best thing for them while detoxing is to not have to worry about the actual work until detox is over. They will need time to let their body physically heal. Detox can last anywhere from 1-7 days.
If they are choosing you to help them through detox it’s an honour. They feel comfortable enough to expose themselves to what might be the most vulnerable situation they have ever been in. They trust you enough to share this moment with you. It’s important that you give them that respect in return.
The first day might not be so bad but this all depends on the severity of their addiction. You can use this time to help them prepare. You will need to make sure they have a safe and private space. Extra sheets and towels on hand and plenty of entertainment (books, video games, movies, etc.)
As time moves on, understand that the things they say and do won’t be pleasant. They may cry, be angry and may even lash out. They may beg for you to make the pain stop. It is your job to show strength, set boundaries all while continuing to show how much you love and care about them. If at any time though you feel you are in immediate danger it’s okay to walk away. If they relapse, it’s not a direct reflection of how you handled the situation, it just merely means they are not ready yet.
So let’s get back to safety. If you are noticing that they are vomiting and/or have diarrhea it’s important to do the skin check test to make sure they are not becoming dehydrated. To do that, take a piece of skin on the top of their hand and pinch it. If the skin stays in a pinched state and doesn’t go down, they are showing signs of dehydration. If it’s not then they are okay but still continue to encourage fluids.
If they are showing signs of dehydratios, have them drink water or something with electrolytes and try the skin test again after 30 minutes. After a few tries, if they are still vomiting, have diarrhea, or their skin doesn’t go back to normal you should get them to an emergency room or call 911. They will probably need to be hooked up to an IV to ensure fluids.
Try not to worry too much if they are not eating or not eating a lot. While a little food is important, hydration takes precedence. If they are willing to eat then try to keep the foods simple by using the BRAT diet at first - bananas, rice, applesauce or plain toast. After a few days you can increase the variety.
For sleep, on the first day or so, have them sleep as often as they can. They may be so uncomfortable they cannot sleep but just let them know that this is normal and eventually they will get tired enough. After a few days, help by encouraging them to sleep less during the day and more at night. This helps them get their body back into its natural biorhythm and the faster that happens, the faster they will start to feel normal again. The best way to do that is to wake them after 20 minutes of napping, making sure the space has natural sunlight throughout the day and encourage them to do something at night that doesn’t involve a screen so that they can prepare their body for rest. Ideally, after a few days, they should be going to bed a decent night time hour and waking up at a decent morning hour with 1-2 naps during the day.
For fitness, they will not feel like doing much at first but simple things to encourage them to move their body is good. For example, you can try for a walk around the block. If they are vomiting or have to use the toilet often make sure you stay close to home. Even walking around the house or doing stretches, yoga videos, etc. can be helpful.
Now remember, their mental health may be at risk. As you work through this course, we will be talking about their mental health but while detoxing it’s important to know when and if things become an emergency. If they are having a mental health emergency, self harming or if they talk about suicide and you believe their life is in immediate danger it’s important to call 911.
With all this, it’s important to be transparent and honest. Set up your expectations before detox happens so that they know if something doesn’t go as planned you are just following through with your word. They must understand that their safety is your priority so if at any time you have to utilize emergency measures, expect them to not be happy about it and that’s okay. Once they are in their normal state of mind, they will understand.
Section Wrap-Up0:24
That’s it for this section. We talked about what we will be covering in this course, all the things you need to know about helping the person you care about, setting a quit date and detox. These are heavy topics and can be quite dramatic in the beginning the better you are prepared the better they can help prepare for themselves. See you in the next section.

Section Overview0:19
Welcome to our next section. In this section we are going to talk about how you can help your loved one throughout their journey. We will be talking about how you can support their physical health, psychological health, and helping them be able to navigate their social circles. Let’s get started.
Physical Health3:44
Getting healthy physically is a challenge for everyone, not just those who struggle with addiction. Many of you have probably been down this route before whether it’s trying to lose weight with a significant other, convincing a parent to stop smoking, or even trying to get your kids to eat vegetables. So you know already that getting physically healthy takes a lot of work and it’s a family effort - meaning your loved ones need your support in order to thrive. Adding addiction to the mix just tends to complicate things even further.
So when you think of your loved one’s physical health there are three areas you can help support them on; their nutrition, fitness and their sleep.
Nutrition
So let’s start with their nutrition. The best way to support them is to lead by example. It’s easier to do this when you live with that person and especially if you’re the one who is in charge of buying the food. If that is you then you should know that it’s very important to ensure that they are eating healthy; limit junk food, especially sugar and make sure their nutrition has a variety of proteins, carbs, fruits and vegetables. Also, don’t over buy - just buy what you need for the week as that helps limit overeating.
If you do not live with this person, it’s best to have a conversation about healthy eating and how important it is for recovery. Then when you are with that person make sure you are eating healthy foods.When you are out to eat, skip the appetizer and desserts and stick with the just the main meal. It’s important, and I find this quite common so don’t feel bad if you know you’ve done this, but it’s important to not use food as a reward. For example: if they had a tough day, you might find yourself encouraging them to grab some ice cream and eat away their worries. This causes a positive association between stress and food and while it may seem like the safer situation in the moment, long term it will be harder for their overall recovery. Instead you could encourage them to end a hard day with a warm shower, watch a comedy on Netflix or go for a long stroll around the neighborhood.
With nutrition you may find yourself feeling a bit frustrated if you see them eat unhealthy foods but just think of it as baby steps and if you can help them gradually, overtime it won’t seem like such a big step. For example, if you know they drink a lot of soda, talk to them about it and see if they’d be willing to cut significantly back and eventually stop.
Fitness
So nutrition is just part of the physical piece. The other part is their fitness. And this one might be easier for you to help on. Encourage them to try to get into some sort of fitness plan whether it’s going to the gym or taking up a hobby like biking or hiking. Maybe you could join them as it helps strengthen relationships and keeps their fitness levels up. Even if it’s making time 2-3 times per week to go on long walks or joining them at the gym. Getting fit together is a win-win situation.
Sleep
And last is sleep. While this part of the physical piece really needs to come from them, if you are living with them, again it’s important to lead by example and that might mean going to bed a bit earlier and encouraging them to do the same. The best thing you can do is to talk to them about getting enough sleep will really help with addiction. Helping them create a schedule, helping them to wake up in the morning, etc are all great ways to help with their sleep. Remember, they should be aiming for 7-10 hours of high quality sleep during the night to maintain optimal physical health which is critical for those who are striving for a solid recovery.
Psychological Health6:09
Psychological health is something that should be taken very seriously especially when helping those fight addiction. As a society we have this perception that those who struggle with addiction are weak or lack will power. This is not always the case and should not be something, as a supporter, you should never convey or show with your actions that this is something you believe as that only makes them feel worse than they already do.
Mental Health
With addiction we are often analyzing the psychological component and it’s important to try and get down deep into the roots to figure out why or how they became addicted in the first place. We think of this as the chicken or the egg theory - what came first? Were they using drugs and alcohol to mask psychological or emotional struggles or did their drug and alcohol cause them to struggle with their mental health? Regardless, they should be treating their mental health and addiction at the same time. If the drugs and alcohol caused them to struggle emotionally then overtime, as they abstain from their addiction, their mental health should get stronger. On the flip side, if they were using drugs/alcohol or a behaviour to mask their mental health struggles then just simply abstaining won’t help them - they will constantly be fighting this inner battle and chances of relapse will be high.
So you’re probably wondering, how can I help them with this? That’s a good question. The best thing you can do is try to talk to them about it. Talk about the early days of using and what may have caused them to start. If they, and you, don’t feel like there were any true concerns, that they just fell into it, then encourage them to stay strong in their recovery and around 30 days of sobriety they should start to feel a mental fog lift. If that doesn’t happen, it’s important that they seek mental health care: a counselor, therapist, psychiatrist, etc. Preferably someone who has experience in dealing with co-occurring disorders (mental health disorder + drug abuse disorder.)
If when you get to talking, you discover that their reasons for starting to begin with were those due to wanting to escape or mask a problem (ie: depression, anxiety, past trauma, etc.) then it’s important that you encourage them to seek mental health care immediately as waiting will only delay their chances of receiving a strong, full recovery. As a supporter, you can help by making sure they keep their appointments and by being a good listener. They may feel apprehensive about opening up and that’s okay as long they know you are there for them and willing to listen so when they are ready, they know who they can talk to.
Spirituality
Spirituality can mean different things to different people and you will likely know them best. If they are a religious or spiritual person you can encourage them to get back into whatever it is they practice or believe in; if that’s going to church, meditating, listening to podcasts, reading books, etc.
If you have a spiritual practice that is similar to theirs, then you can be with them and do similar things to show your support. Showing up is the hardest part for both parties but if you’re there, they will know and appreciate your presence.
Living Intentionally
Part of the Sobriety Success Method - the program I teach - teaches those who struggle with addiction how to live intentionally. Living intentionally, is being more conscious of the day to day activities and making sure that every action leads towards recovery growth. It’s living in the moment as opposed to getting lost in the past or being worried about the future.
So for example, let’s say a person, who does not struggle with an addiction, has a bad day at work. When they drive home, they may feel defeated and upset about what happened, may go home, pour a glass of wine, eat some ice cream and binge watch their favorite Netflix show. Then they go to bed and get up for work the next day and it’s just another day. Now if that same situation happened to someone who struggles with addiction, they have bad day at work, going home and turning off their brain can lead to catastrophic events. They may feel triggered and think to themselves that one glass of wine to relax after work won’t be such a bad idea - it’s just one right? Well that one drink can lead to another, another trip to the store to get another bottle of wine, and that then can turn into an all night drinking episode. Which in turn causes them to pass out drunk at 3am, they oversleep and are then late to work, hungover. That may not sit well with the boss which would cause another bad and you can see how that cycle would continue and continue.
This means that those who struggle with addiction, have to be more careful with their thoughts and intentions. Is that to say, they can’t have bad days or relax? Of course not. It just means that they have to pause and think about how they are going to relax. For example, if they get into their car after a bad day they need to think, okay I’ve had a bad day, what can I do to relax when I get home so I don’t feel triggered? I can stop off and grab a healthy dinner, go home, take a warm bath, and watch some TV until I fall asleep. By proper planning and intentional thinking they can stop a trigger or relapse. So this is where you come into play.
If you know they have had a bad day, then make sure you help them come up with a plan. Maybe you’re the person they call as they are driving home from work, raging about how bad their boss is and what a horrible day. Of course you’ll want to listen and give them space to vent but also, ask them what their plans are for the rest of the night. If they don’t know or unsure, then help them come up with something so they can start thinking and living intentionally. Maybe they need your company and that would be a good time to Facetime or hang out with them in person if possible. If you are worried they are not in the right headspace then keep checking up on them and offer simple solutions: have a Netflix party, play some games with them (online or in person), have a long chat about life, etc. Just always remember, they may not even know they are spiraling, sometimes it happens unconsciously and if you can help them get their mind back to the present, then their chances of working through that tough moment will be that much stronger.
Social Circles4:14
Dealing with people is one of the hardest things people have to navigate when in recovery. And there are different approaches when dealing with family vs friends vs professional relationships.
Family
You may be the family member of someone who struggles with addiction. Helping a family member is a bit more complicated than helping a friend. You are born into a family and essentially had no choice in the matter. That’s not to say that you can’t walk away from a family member.
The emotional toll and piece that comes with helping a family member is deep.
I always tell my students to place their family in one of two buckets: toxic or not toxic. Those who are toxic, I encourage them to walk away (short or long term would depend on the situation) but toxic family members must have space and time away if they want the situation to ever be able to heal.
If they are not toxic, then I tell my students it’s up to them on how they can go about rekindles or strengthening their relationships. Familial relationships are important and having that support can mean so much and really make a difference in how their recovery progresses.
So if you are family or not family the best thing you can do is to encourage these two concepts: giving space to those toxic family members and strengthening relationships with the others.
Friends
I mentioned earlier that family relationships are a bit more complicated than friends and that’s because we get to choose who we are friends with. But the concept is still the same and should be approached in a similar fashion.
However, cutting ties completely with toxic friends is sometimes the best approach.
If you are in a relationship with someone (family, friend, partner, etc.) it’s important for you to also understand when a relationship is toxic and if that’s your relationship, it’s time to give space. Giving space is not the same as abandonment, it’s a realization that staying in the relationship can have a far worse effect then walking away.
And remember this; giving space does not have to mean forever.
Once they are stronger in their recovery, and if both parties agree, relationships can resume eventually but in the early days, they are very sensitive to their environment so please help them recognize this, especially if this is you. If your relationship is not toxic then help them work on fixing it or strengthening it so that the support can continue.
Remember, a relationship isn’t one sided - and just because they are struggling with addiction does not mean the entire world has to revolve around them. It needs to have balance and healthy friendships give and take.
Don’t let it be one sided.
Professional Relationships
This is the last part of the social circles.
I talk to my students about their professional relationships because oftentimes addiction can affect their work performance. I encourage them to reach out to HR and evaluate whether or not their jobs are the right place for them and for their recovery.
Part of the Sobriety Success Method is being able to get sober from home without having to leave family, friends or work and I do believe that in most situations work can help give the person who is struggling a sense of satisfaction and help them feel like they are contributing. Losing a job on top of an addiction can often cause a person to spiral to to be able to keep their income is important.
You can help support them through this by allowing them to vent or talk about their work situation and if you feel their work situation or the people at their work are toxic or contributing negatively to their recovery then perhaps you can help them navigate their situation: talking to HR, finding a different position within the organization or as a last resort applying for other job.
If they are unemployed then the best thing you can do is be supportive in helping them look for work when the time is right.
Section Wrap-Up0:15
That’s it for this section where we talked about helping your loved one physically, psychologically and socially. In our next section we’ll talk about how to help them with triggers, how to handle a relapse and crisis and suicide support. See you there.

Section Overview0:13
Welcome to our next section. In this section we’ll talk about how to help your loved one handle triggers, how to help them if they do relapse and what to do if they are experiencing a crisis or feel suicidal. Let’s get started.
Helping with Triggers1:19
Triggers are common and when someone is prepared on what to do if they feel triggered they are less likely to relapse. Helping someone through a trigger can be as simple as just answering the phone when they call or perhaps it’s a bigger ask: meeting them in person and talking them down.
One activity I have my students do is make a list of things they can do when they feel triggered. Almost all of my students write down someone they can call. That someone might be you.
I also tell my students that they can call that person and talk about non-recovery/addiction related stuff. It doesn’t have to be so bold, “Hey I am having a trigger and I need you to talk me out of relapsing.” It can be something simple like them calling to say hi and hear about the other’s person’s day. Enough to help them take their mind off that trigger for however long it lasts.
Now the person you care about might know to make this list of things they can do if they triggered or they might not. Perhaps, the best thing you could do immediately is ask them if they have a plan and if they don’t maybe you could come up with one which would include calling/texting you. And remember, they may call just to talk and in any case, if you’re on that list, just do your best to be there for them shall the time arise.
How to Handle a Relapse1:45
When a person relapses it’s likely not intentional.
When the body is triggered, people unconsciously start to make decisions and irrational thinking comes into play. Have you ever driven to work and then realized once you got there that you have no idea how you got there? It’s similar to a relapse. Someone might remember feeling triggered and the next thing they know they have gotten a hold of their substance or start partaking in their behavior.
When or if they relapse, and no, not everyone relapses, you might feel completely defeated, helpless or sad. This is normal.
It’s better if the person catches their mistakes early on and tries to pick up where they left off before catastrophic events occur. If they confide in you, encourage them and help them realize it’s not the end all be all and they can get back to where they were in no time. If it drags out, it’s much harder to get back on track.
Just know though, that multiple relapses can really take its toll on both parties.
You may feel like all your hard work has been wasted and they never appreciated all you did for them. I can assure you though, that hard work you put in will never be forgotten, ever. And they do appreciate you, it just wasn’t the right time for them or maybe they just weren’t as prepared as they thought they were.
Either way, it’s important that you take care of yourself in a relapse and if you need to give them space then give them space but under no circumstances should you feel responsible or take any sort of blame (unless of course you forced them into it but I highly doubt anyone reading this has done that.)
Let them know you are there for them and when they are ready they can contact you. Don’t try to fight a battle you know you’re never going to win. It’s up to them to make the decisions and to put in the work.
Crisis and Suicide Support2:56
Crisis
This is a very important topic and I want you to make sure you are prepared shall anyone experience a crisis.
A crisis isn’t a one size fits all situation. If someone feels they are in crisis, then they are crisis, period. This is not something anyone should ever feel the need to question. For example, a 14 year old going through a breakup - some 14 year olds will handle a breakup by being sad, counting on others for comfort and each day knowing things will get better. While another 14 year old going through a break may resort to self harm or even suicide.
Point is, don’t ever invalidate the way that someone is feeling when they are experiencing a crisis.
You can help them through a crisis by validating their concerns, being empathetic to their situation, and helping them feel strength and and find the courage to move forward. If they feel their life is in immediate danger or if you feel their life is in danger, it’s important to help them get emergency care.
This will look different depending on where you live but if you live somewhere that offers crisis support like a mobile crisis unit those are typically better than going to the emergency room but if the emergency room is what needs to happen then please help them get there.
Suicide
Sometimes when people are experiencing a crisis they feel suicidal. Or maybe feeling suicidal is their crisis. Either way, it’s important to take this seriously.
You need to be making sure you are asking the right questions at the right time. Never be afraid to ask if they are suicidal. Most people will be thankful you were thinking of them.
If they are suicidal there are a few other things you will want to know:
Do they have a specific plan in place to end their life? (ex: hanging themselves, shooting themselves, jumping off a building, overdosing, etc.)
Do they have access to the things they would need to follow through with that plan? (ex: rope, gun, a tall building, pills, etc.)
Do they have a specific time frame for when they would do it?
It’s common for people who have suicidal thoughts to not have a plan or maybe they have a plan but no access to means or a specific timeframe. The answers to these questions say a lot.
There are quite a few suicide intervention hotlines you can refer them too; phone numbers and text numbers so a trained specialist can also talk to them. If you feel they are in immediate danger though, please call 911 or take them to the emergency room. (ex: their plan is to overdose with the pills they have in their possession in 30 minutes.)
While getting emergency services involved might complicate things short term, you have to look at the bigger picture and understand that keeping them alive is what’s really important and all the other stuff can be worked on with the help of a mental health professional.
Section Wrap-Up0:21
That’s it for this section on triggers, relapse and crisis support. Thank you for making it this far and for being the best support you can be. Now in our last section I want to talk about you. We’re going to talk about how you can take care of yourself and how to take a look at your own use of alcohol/substances or unhealthy behaviours.

Section Overview0:20

Welcome to our next section. In this section we’re going to focus on you. We’ll start off by talking about how you can take care of your own self and how important it is to do so. We’ll talk about how you can analyze your own use of substances/alcohol or behaviors and what to do about it if there is a problem. Let’s get started.
Taking Care of Yourself1:25
Compassion fatigue is very common when trying to help someone overcome an addiction. This is especially true if you are dealing with multiple relapses. The one thing I want you to know is that you need to take care of yourself before you can help someone else. This means, if you are willing to take on this challenge, to be the helper, you must be in a good place physically, emotionally and socially. It’s actually worse for them if you try to help but bring on extra stress, even if you’re not meaning to.
So now that you know what it takes for them and for you, it’s time to analyze your own situation. Does this mean everything needs to be perfect? Of course not. But it does mean you need to be stable and on board with everything it takes to be one who is helping. If you say you are there, you must be fully present.
And if at any time you feel it’s getting to be too much, it’s better to gradually step aside, before things get worse. Please remember though, even the strongest of people find this challenge to be far more exhausting than anticipated so if you’re finding yourself in a position where you are neglecting your own personal needs it’s okay to take a break and don’t feel bad about it either.
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Your Own use of Substances or Behaviors3:46
Now is the best time to take a look at your own use of substances or behaviours. This is not a ploy to get you to think that you, yourself, has a problem with addiction but it is a time where you should look at this from a different perspective.
People who are more likely to relapse are those who have a partner that partakes in the behaviour they are trying to stop. Now I’m not sure if you are the partner or not but if you are, this is a good time to pause your own use whether you like it or not.
Supporting a partner means you are supporting them all the way, not just when it’s convenient or comfortable for you and the very best thing you can do is to lead by example. If you can’t or are trying to find excuses or justifications as to why you won’t do it, then it’s highly possible that you may have an unhealthy relationship with that substance or behaviour. Are you also an addict? I cannot comment on that because you know your situation best but what I can say is that those who truly are not addicted will have no problem setting aside their personal satisfactions to help someone who is struggling. If you can’t then it likely means one of two things: the relationship you have isn’t healthy and you don’t feel you should have to give up any more than you already have or you are having a problem yourself.
If it’s the first, you may be feeling resentful or maybe your partner has pushed you so far that you don’t have any more fight in you and if that’s how you feel, it’s okay. It’s common and it happens. It’s nothing to do with you, but rather the cards you were dealt. And the best thing you can do at that point is to give space.
I’m not saying break up or divorce is the answer but what I am saying is that you cannot say you are there for them and wanting to help, and then go home every night and pour yourself a glass of wine when you know they are struggling with alcohol. It’s rude and insensitive to do that. And you might be thinking well it’s rude and insensitive for them to put me through all this in the first place and that is a valid way of thinking. But if that’s where you are then the best thing you can do for them and yourself is that space and time apart. They will have a better chance at success if they are not triggered every day by seeing a partner indulge in the thing they are trying to avoid.
If it’s the second part; you yourself might have a problem, then hats off to you for recognizing that and now is the time to find a plan and work through this together; support each other. If you can’t do that or you’re not ready, then it’s important to give that space as well.
Now if you are not here because it’s your significant other that is struggling but maybe you’re a friend, family member, parent, child, etc. it’s still just as important to watch your own use. And I’m saying, the best way to support them is to make sure you are not indulging in the thing they are trying to heal from.
So for example, if their drug of choice is heroin, and you recently had back surgery and your doctor prescribed you percocet. Please, do not talk about it, do not be around them if you are under the influence, etc. Just make sure you are shielding them from that until their recovery is strong. If their drug of choice is alcohol then don’t invite them to a party or family barbeque where there will be a ton of alcohol. Maybe have a get together during the day and make it dry, but just know that no matter how much they say they can take it, when in the moment, it won’t be easy for them so find ways to be together that don’t involve drugs/alcohol or the behavior they are recovering from. Try other things, daytime things, like hiking, going to a park, going out to lunch, a museum, etc.
Meditation15:00
This meditation encompasses multiple areas: your physical health, your social health and of course self-love. If you enjoy this meditation then check out my course titled, "Meditation for Addiction and Recovery."
Section Wrap-Up0:15
That’s it for this section. I know reflecting on your own self is probably harder than you realized but so important if you are helping someone who is struggling with addiction. In our last section, we’ll wrap up. See you there.
Conclusion0:58
Thank you for being here. It takes a lot of strength to help someone you love. I hope you have found this to be helpful and that you have all the tools you need to be able to do this.
If you or someone in your family is struggling with addiction now is the time to consider signing up for a Sobriety Success course.
Bonus Lecture0:45

Why Nutrition is CRUCIAL || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 12:12
Welcome to Day 1 of 30 days to sobriety success! We're talking nutrition and healthy eating + how it impacts recovery.
MASTERING your mental health || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 22:38
Mastering your mental health is day 2 of 30 days to sobriety success. The ability to regulate thoughts, emotions and staying mentally strong is what sets you up for long term success.
Is your FAMILY SABOTAGING your addiction? || 30 Days to Sobriety Success | Day 31:30
Most peole don't realise just how much their family impacts their chances of a successful recovery. This is day 3 of 30 days to sobriety success.
Why you MUST set a quit date NOW || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 41:17
Setting a quit date - is it really that important? YES! Find out why in day 4 of 30 days to sobriety success.
Do you NEED to spend an hour in the gym to GET SOBER? || 30 Days to Sobriety2:00
Ugh! The gym. It's the worst for most people but fitness is really important to a successful recovery. So, what can you do? Watch day 5 of 30 days to sobriety success.
Is spirituality a KEY to SOBER SUCCESS? || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 61:50
Developing a deeper spiritual practice has been shown to support your addiction recovery journey. Watch day 6 of 30 days to sobriety success to find out more.
Are FRIENDS RISKING your sobriety? || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 72:29
Sometimes your friend group can actually be really bad for your sobriety. Find out who the good friends and bad friends are and what to do about them in Day 7 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success.
Does EVERYONE relapse? || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 81:14
Does everyone relapse? What you need to know! This is day 8 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success.
Does work help or harm your SOBRIETY? || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 91:05
Did you know that work can be a major reason for struggling during sobriety? It's true! Welcome to day 9 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success.
People, Places and Things - WHY THEY MATTER || 30 Days to Sobriety Success ||2:25
You made it! This is day 10 of 30 days to sobriety sucess and we're talking about people, places and things. You're going to love this one!
How does SLEEP impact your chances of GETTING SOBER? || 30 Days to Sobriety1:30
Sleep. We all need it and chances are you aren't getting enough of it. But... did you know it impacts your sobriety? Watch more in Day 11 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success.
FOCUS on what you can CONTROL by Living INTENTIONALLY || 30 Days to Sobriety2:01
Intentional living is a powerful, powerful thing. It gives you complete dominion and domain over your life. Something you DEFINITELY need in sobriety. Day 12 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success. Think of this as your sobriety motivation!
Managing TRIGGERS LIKE A BOSS || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 131:47
If you want to succeed in being sober for the long term you have got to learn how to manage triggers like a FRIGGIN BOSS. You're watching day 13 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success.
H.A.L.T. in the name of SOBRIETY? || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 141:30
What on earth does H.A.L.T. mean and why should you be paying attention to it? Find out in Day 14 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success
Keep it CLEAN PEOPLE || 30 Days to Sobriety Success [DAY 15]1:33
Wait...why does keeing your home clean make any difference to your ability to get and stay sober? Keeping your living space clean has plenty of benefits. Let's dive in to 30 Days of Sobriety Success Day 15
SUGAR - Is it the enemy? [30 Days to Sobriety Success] [DAY 16]2:21
Sugar. Look it isn't great for you under normal circumstances but when you're suffering from addiction it can be easy to succumb to its dangers. We'll talk through what these are in Day 16 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success
Who DOESN'T LOVE Journaling? || 30 Days to Sobriety Success [DAY 17]1:41
In Day 17 of 30 Days to Sobriety Success, we're examining the powerful activity of journaling. I really recommend to everyone that they journal regularly and here are some reasons why!
You NEED to be MENTALLY PREPARED to stop drinking alcohol || 30 Days to Sobriety2:24
You've got to be mentally prepared and ready for sobriety. It's hard work to get and stay in recovery so preparing a strong mind is key to your success. To stop drinking alcohol you've got to think ahead. ? Check out the Sobriety Success Program: https://lvrehab.me/sober ? Online coaching, courses and loads more: https://lvrehab.me/ ? Sobriety Success book on Amazon: https://lvrehab.me/h05Cs6 #mentalhealth #addiction #addictionrecovery #liverehab #sobrietysuccess #getsober #soberfromhome
Why you should be reading MORE || 30 Days to Sorbiety Success [DAY 19]2:00
Reading is a powerful way to up your personal understanding of life. Reading also helps you feel better too!
CRISIS SUPPOT - How do you get it? || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 201:46
One persons crisis is not the same as another. So, how do you get crisis support in times of need? Who can you reach out to when your sober journey is under attack?
Will ONLINE SUPPORT work for YOU??? || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 212:07
There are lots of ways to get help with your addiction and online addiction recovery programs have exploded thanks to the pandemic. But will an online support program actually help you?
YOU might NEED in person support || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 221:41
Like the title of this video says, sometimes you just want to connect with someone in person. If that's you, then you need to do what is necessary to make that happen. It's crucial for your recovery so make an effort to ensure it becomes a reality.
MONEY??? || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 231:36
Money. It's critically important in todays society and very important for anyone in recovery. Get your finances in order so you can start making real progress on your life goals.
Do you go SLOW and STEADY? || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 242:43
Everyone today wants instant results. Social media has fueled us to believe that we can get everything we want in a short time. However, going slow and steady is the foundation of recovery from drug and alcohol or even porn abuse.
How to handle GRIEF + LOSS in RECOVERY || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 252:40
Grief comes in many different shapes and sizes. People often feel as though grief is just relegated to the loss of a loved one or a pet. Grief is actually more complex than that so lets dig in and find out how it affects addiction and recovery.
How to be sober around drunk people and enjoy it || 30 Days to Sobriety Success4:59
It's time to talk about how to be sober around drunk people and enjoy it. It's a hard topic to cover but you need to know what it will be like when you are having to spend time around other people who may be partaking in your addiction and you are in recovery.
Are YOU just TRADING one ADDICTION for another❓ || 30 Days to Sobriety Success2:35
Sobriety can be a dangerous thing - sometimes you find yourself trading one addiction for another. Find out why that's a potential problem in today's video.
Signs [YOU] might be Dry Drunk ? || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 283:05
What is a dry drunk and how do you know if you are one? Dry drunk behavior is commonplace in addiction and recovery.
What's the point of being sober? || 30 Days to Sobriety Success || Day 292:44
What's the point of being sober? We get asked this question ALL the time.
Get sober now - It's time to TAKE ACTION || 30 Days to Sobriety Success ||2:13
It's the final day of our 30 Days to Sobriety Success series and it's the most important one - TAKE ACTION! That's right - none of this means ANYTHING if you can't or won't take the action needed. Isn't it time for you to get sober now?

Requirements

You will need to know someone and want to help someone who is struggling with addiction.
No prior knowledge of addiction and recovery is required. I will teach you everything you need to know.
You will need watch this entire course completely before using the techniques and methods provided.
Having an open mind and being willing to try new things can really benefit the outcome.
If you have tried multiple times to help but nothing seems to be working then this course is for you.
The benefit of taking this course online is that you can watch on your own time; when it's convenient for you.
Navigating social circles is a huge component to helping. It's important to be honest with yourself and your relationship with the person you are trying to help.
You need to be in the right mental space to be able to help. We will cover this in the course so if you are unsure, you will know by the end of this course.
This is a holistic helping approaching which means you have to commit to doing all the work, not just pick and choose.
You will learn if you are the right person to be helping and will be given all the tools necessary to do so.

Description

5 star review:

"very good training"

As someone working in the field, it is a very good training. I found it useful for my expertise. Thank you.

This content was amazing, especially for someone like me that does not have much knowledge on the subject.

Do you know some one that struggles with addiction?

This is course that will help you help them!

This course will teach you the fundamentals through unique and time-tested approaches. Addiction and recovery is an important undertaking and now through the use of technology, students can heal in the space of their own home and you can learn how to help.

The course is designed to provide you with the tools you will need to help someone you love kick their addiction for good. You should take this course if you need the expertise of professionals but are unsure about how to get that. I'm here to help!

This step by step method teaches you:

Everything you need to know about the time being right for you and for them

The importance of them setting a quit date

Understanding detox and your role in supporting them

The importance of their physical health

Fitness
Nutrition
Sleep

The importance of their psychological health

Mental Health
Spiritual Health
How to help them live intentionally

The importance of their social health

Family
Friends
Professional Relationships

The importance of understanding addiction related topics

Triggers
Relapse
Crisis and Suicide Support

You can't pour from an empty cup

Taking care of your own self
Understanding and analyzing your own use of substances and behaviours

If you are ready to take action in multiple areas of your life and their's and are committed to following through then this course is for you. We understand that not everyone can up and leave their friends, family, pets, or work to gain sobriety and it's oftentimes just as difficult for friends and family to be able to commit to such vigorous routines. This is a holistic approach so you will be encouraged to help with their physical health, psychological health and social health. This isn't family or group therapy sessions. These techniques are simple things you can do every day to ensure you are being the best support you can.

This course comprises of short lectures, assignments and quizzes as well as additional resources, podcasts, etc. that can help you understand what your loved one is going through

If you want to feel whole with your loved one and want to understand their holistic needs; body, mind and and external factors you are in the right place.

This course also includes exclusive access to a number of free downloadable materials such as podcasts, e-books, checklists, and resources.

This course is about 1 hour however, the material will need to be listened to and referred to often as you continue to support the person you love through their difficult moments.

You will also get monthly updates as well as continuous instructor support through the Q&A.

Live Rehab has numerous podcasts and additional videos with more tips and tricks related to addiction and recovery. Please be sure to listen to all of the additional material as well as forwarding them on to them so they can get the support they need as well.

You will also be invited to join our private Facebook group for even further support.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Is this course only for family members?

A: While this course was primarily written for family members to those who are struggling with addiction, other people can benefit from taking this course such as friends who are worried about a love one or Substance Abuse Counselors who want more knowledge and insight on addiction and recovery

Q: How is it possible to recover from an addiction online? Don't they need a 12-step program or in-patient rehab?

A: 12 step programs are outdated and their success rates are shockingly low. Not everyone is cut out for rehab and can just leave their family, friends, kids, pets, work, school, etc. The material in this course will give you the tools you need to be successful in helping them fight their addiction, however, they will need to find the motivation within so they can apply the concepts you will learn.

This course includes a series of assignments, quizzes, downloadable resources, external links to certain topics related to addiction and recovery and also links to podcasts.

Upon completing the final lecture, you will receive a certificate of completion.

Who this course is for:

The best students will be patient and motivated to want to help make a solid change in someone's life.
Many people have that one reason to make this sort of change but I challenge you to think deeper about the current situation.
If you are fed up with the old ways of treatment and they don't work for the person you care about then you will highly benefit from taking this course.
If you are dedicated to your health and overall well-being then this course is for you! Leading by example is very powerful.
This is not a quick, overnight fix. It takes time and dedication to work through all of the lectures and additional resources that a provided.
Once you have worked through the entire course, you must be self motivated to implement the techniques and theories consistently if you want to help them kick their addiction for good.
This course is for students who are able to acknowledge not just their loved one's addiction but other areas in their life that may need focus such as their own emotional well-being..
You will be expected to turn within and get to know your own true self. There will be specific activities for you to try and you will get to choose which option is best for you.
It isn't easy finding the right answers. This course is ideal for those who are looking for ways to support someone they love.
Kicking an addiction will increase their quality of life in the long run. Students should be prepared to help as much as they can as long as it doesn't interfere with their own personal mental health.

The Fundamentals of Addiction - A Family Member's Guide

What you'll learn

Explore related topics

Course content

Introduction6 lectures • 15min

The Sobriety Success Method5 lectures • 15min

Triggers, Relapse and Crisis Support5 lectures • 7min

All about YOU7 lectures • 22min

EXTRA: 30 Days to Sobriety Success (for those who struggle with addiction)30 lectures • 1hr 4min

Requirements

Description

Who this course is for: