
In this lecture we take one ordinary conversation that ended with the word fine and run it through four steps, from the answer you accepted to the sentence the person never got to say.
This course is built from six disciplines: emotional intelligence, interviewing skills, competency-based interviewing, 360 feedback, survey design and the assessment centre.
The map of the course
A dictionary for reading lectures from other fields as your own conversation
Three questions to ask after every lecture
A short self-diagnostic that shows which sections to watch first
Download the Conversation Replay worksheet and run one of your own conversations through the same four steps.
How emotional intelligence develops
Influencing through logic against influencing through emotion
Emotional intelligence and relationships
The ability to resonate, and what a resonant person is like to talk to
What emotional charging is
How you energise or drain the person opposite
The role of stress in what people are willing to say
Recovery
How an emotionally engaged person behaves
What low emotional intelligence looks like from outside
Assessing your own level
Self-awareness, positive attitude and social intelligence
Awareness as the starting point
How people actually change
Positive attitude
Moving from a negative to a positive mindset
Whether fear motivates anyone
The power of single-mindedness
Coaching with empathy and building rapport
The elements of a conversation that changes something
The ideal image of yourself
Feedback as the correction mechanism
Cycles of life
The pyramid of life
Analysing the environment you operate in
What outstanding leaders do differently in conversation
A shared vision of the future
Group social identity and social groups
The process of change
Choosing which competences to develop
The three development zones
Summing up
What an interview is for and what it is not for
Structured, semi-structured and unstructured formats
Competency-based, mass and case interviews, and whether stress interviews earn their damage
Creating a profile, developing questions and building a scorecard
The STAR technique and behavioural questions
Competency maps, and where to find ready libraries
Active listening: clarifying questions and interpreting the answers
Reading non-verbal behaviour and creating a comfortable atmosphere
Measuring soft skills and hard skills
Designing a test task and evaluating it
Avoiding bias and stereotypes when you score
Assessing motivation, checking references, and comparing people
Documenting results and observations while they are fresh
The competency matrix for comparison
Giving feedback someone can use rather than a polite refusal
Feedback to the recruiter, and the confidentiality and legal side
Where the idea of competencies came from
Hard skills and soft skills
What the language of competencies gives you when you ask questions
Ready-made libraries and how to use them
The basics of building a scorecard
Profiling competencies for a specific role
Researching what your best people actually do differently
Building behavioural indicators and the questions that test them
The technique of competency-based interviewing
Behavioural and situational questions
Panel interviews, and where stress interviews belong
The structure of the conversation and the skills it demands from you
What the CARE and STAR techniques are
Achievement-based questioning
Taking notes during the conversation without losing it
How to tell whether someone is constructing the answer as they speak
The competency assessment scale
Analysing behavioural indicators
Other assessment methods and how valid each one actually is
Role plays and assessment exercises
Methods for assessing motivation
Negotiating at the offer stage
Personality assessment and ready-made tests
Gathering references, and making the decision
The difference between a company survey and a 360
Linking behaviour to performance
Why people are afraid of it
What they genuinely value about it
The key elements of design
Defining competences and areas
Examples of real 360 assessments
Describing competences through the critical incident method
Choosing which behaviour to assess
Describing observable behaviour rather than traits
Writing the letter to the assessor
Creating scales, questions and the open-ended part
How to send it so people actually respond
Increasing the response rate
Evaluator bias and what it does to your data
Running the one-to-one and the group discussion
Types of feedback
Demonstrating results without triggering defence
Sample individual and group reports
Leadership development
Career planning
Performance management
Succession planning and training
This course contains the use of artificial intelligence.
Most of what you need to know at work is already known by someone who has no particular reason to tell you.
They are not hiding it. You just have not asked in a way that makes answering worth their while.
Where the information stops
You ask a candidate about a project and get a story that has been told forty times, polished smooth, with the difficult parts sanded off. You ask your team how things are going and get "fine", because the honest answer costs them something and the question cost you nothing. You send a survey and get a response rate of nineteen percent and a set of averages that describe nobody. And you run a 360 that produces a number, a defensive reaction and no change.
The common factor is not honesty. It is that asking well is a technical skill, and almost nobody is taught it.
What the course teaches
Thirty-eight lessons across five ways of finding things out. Emotional intelligence first, eight lessons, because the state you bring into a conversation determines what the other person is prepared to say. Resonance, empathy, reading your own reactions, and the difference between influencing through logic and through emotion.
Then the one-to-one conversation with the highest cost of error: the interview. Question design, STAR, competency maps, active listening in the technical sense of clarifying and interpreting rather than nodding, and how to score what you heard without your own bias doing the work.
Structured questioning, and what to do when questions fail
Then competency-based questioning in depth. Building a question set from what your own best performers actually do, behavioural and situational questions, panel formats, and the CARE technique for getting past a rehearsed answer into what happened. Including how to notice that someone is constructing the story as they speak.
Then asking many people about one person. Eight lessons on the 360: describing observable behaviour instead of traits, writing scales that mean something, evaluator bias, response rates, and delivering the result in a way that produces a development plan rather than a defence.
Then asking in writing and at scale — survey types, question wording, scale choice, the length at which quality collapses, reporting, and turning answers into a plan. And finally the assessment centre, for the cases where asking will never work and you have to watch instead: exercise design, training observers, running the session and validating whether it told you anything.
Who is teaching this
Mike, the number one HR instructor on Udemy. More than 1.6 million course enrolments, over 150,000 professionals trained, PHRi and SHRM-CP certified, HRCI representative in more than 10 countries. I built the people function of the unicorn Preply and worked at Wargaming, Alfa-Bank and iDeals. I have designed surveys nobody answered and 360s that produced a number and no conversation, which is how most of the practical warnings in this course arrived.
What is included
Lifetime access to all course materials
Active instructor support in the Q&A section
Udemy Certificate of Completion
Practical assignments and real business cases
A section with additional courses, tools and resources
One habit worth building first
After the next answer you get, stay silent for four seconds instead of asking the next question. Most of the useful information in any conversation arrives in the sentence the person adds because the silence was uncomfortable. Enrol now and start the first lesson today.