DATING & RELATIONSHIP PSYCHOLOGY: Analyse People You Date

Oh, the world of dating! Isn’t it the time that is supposed to be exciting and interesting for everyone involved? Why 'dating' is such a complex phenomenon? Let's start our discussion here!

When it comes to understanding whether you are still 'dating' or you are in an actual relationship, there may be many different opinions. Some might say after 3-5 dates with the same person, you are actually entering a relationship with them, whereas for others this should involve the word ‘would you be my girlfriend or boyfriend?’ instead. Let's discuss this topic here!

Before we go into this lecture, I want you to pause for a moment and see if you can answer this question: "Why are we all so different?"
Our differences might be explained by various theories and personalities. Which ones are you aware of? 

In this lecture we will continue our discussion on 'why we are so different', and particularly we will be looking at the personality theories that give us some answers. Can two people with different personalities co-exist together happily or not? That's the question we are trying to answer here!

So why do some people 'clash' with others? It seems that they just can’t get along and you cannot imagine them together. They are just so different. To explain this phenomenon, we'll come back to our "Big 5 Traits" theory, that can give us some logical explanation! 

Do you think complete 'opposites' attract? Do you think there are more 'differences' in most couples when it comes to their personalities, viewpoints, attitudes, behaviours, and looks? Some theories suggest that there are more differences in couples than the similarities, whereas others argue that is not the case. Who is right? Let's discuss it here!

In this video, we'll continue our previous topics on 'why we find certain people attractive'. Now we know that if they live in close proximity, share with us similar views and beliefs, are similar to us on the physical attractiveness level, the attraction raises higher. But why sometimes, despite these similarities, people say ‘we have so much in common, and I can see that she/he could be my soulmate, but there is no spark’?

Why does this happen? Why when we hug them it might feel we are hugging a brother or a sister instead of a potential romantic partner? Let's discuss it here!

It seems that we all are looking for the same qualities in our partners. They have to be nice, kind, and caring, amongst other attractive qualities. They have to be supportive and share some of our interests. However, we know that many relationships end up in break-up whereas marriages end as 'divorces'. Why does it happen? What are we looking for ultimately? Let's discuss it here..

So, what are you looking for when you go on dates?

Who is your ideal partner? What is your type?

There are many questions that we need to ask ourselves before we go on dates and fill up questionnaires for online dating websites. Understanding what you are looking for can make your search more precise and fruitful, where you don't have to waste your time any longer.

Some people are 'for' online dating, whereas others are 'against' it. Do you think 'online dating' is worth it? Do you think it's suitable for your needs? Let's have a look at the 'pros' and 'cons' of this venture.

How do we analyse our 'dating game'? How do we understand the behaviour of the person we started dating? Let's have a look at the overview of 'analysing dating behaviour' here.

The traffic system of 'green', 'yellow', and 'red' can give us many clues about the dating venture we got involved in. Here we'll attempt to understand this system of 'green flags' Vs 'red flags' and why it is beneficial to keep them in mind at all times.

'Yellow flags' is a neutral color that can change either into 'green' or 'red'. The only thing we need to do here is to continue observing another person's behaviour and notice the particular patterns of behavior that repeat from time to time.

'Red Flags' is something that should stop you in your tracks. It's the behaviour that says 'it's too dangerous to keep going!' But in what way? And what kind of behaviour are we talking about? Let's discuss this here!

During the last three lectures, we studied the color system of dating 'flags' (from 'green' to 'red'). Now we know what they mean, what they involve, and whether you should proceed or not.

Next, let’s talk more about the ‘red flags’, and particularly 'abusive' tendencies. Let's learn to spot 'controlling', 'manipulative', and 'abusive' behaviour from the start!

You go on a date and ... you are not sure what to ask! The questions that you ask should be those that will give you adequate information for your personal analysis and understanding of who is in front of you!

“We are programmed to prefer partners who are different enough from ourselves to keep the relationship fresh and exciting… but similar enough in core values to assure us that if the time comes, they will be as good as partners to us…” (Degges-White, Psychology Today, 2020)

Why most relationships start great but at some point, we find that our partner has some bad habits that we find really annoying? What can we do about it? Let's discuss it here.

In this lecture we are continuing our discussion about bad habits in the relationship and whether you should continue dating the person that doesn’t change their ways.

As we said earlier, bad habits can be annoying and irritating, they are damaging to the relationship if not addressed early enough even though they might seem so small and insignificant. So in which cases we should continue with the relationship that is somewhat 'dissatisfying' to us? And when it's ok to continue? 

What you need to know is that it’s ok and 'normal' to establish healthy boundaries at the start (and during the course) of the relationship. It is not about 'trust issues' or analysing a relationship that is already going well. This is more about making sure that 'everything is clear' and both parties are agreeable with how their relationship is unfolding.

“Codependent relationships signify a degree of unhealthy clinginess, where one person doesn't have self-sufficiency or autonomy.. One or both parties depend on their loved ones for fulfillment.” (Wetzler, PhD, WebMD, 2020)

What you need to know is that 'codependency' is different from 'dependency' and typically is considered to be 'unhealthy' by psychologists.

Would you like to learn how to analyse their behavior at dating? Then let's proceed to our lecture!

In complex and confusing relationship patterns it can be really difficult to understand whether it's worth continuing with the relationship, or whether it would be better 'to leave for good'. Let's discuss the signs when the relationship is not worth saving and both parties would benefit from going separate ways.

In this lecture, your instructor would like to bid you farewell and thank you for all your participation!

Here you will access the instructions on how to obtain your certificates after you complete the course.