Creating a Happy Marriage and Loving Relationship
What you'll learn
- The five stages of marital satisfaction
- How to replace negative and toxic patterns of interaction with actions that build unity
- Greater respect and love for your spouse
- Practices to build positive feelings and friendship
- Differences between women and men and how to better meet your spouse’s needs
- How to strengthen your marriage by taking responsibility for yourself
- How to have more open and vulnerable communication
- Skills to handle disagreements and conflict so you both win
- The mindset and communication skills to have a great sexual relationship
- A shared vision of the future, including creation of your marriage “Coat of Arms”
Requirements
- The only requirement for enrolling in this course is your desire and commitment to learning skills to create a great relationship.
Description
Hi and welcome to my course to teach you how to build a great relationship.
For most couples, building a happy and successful relationship is a difficult journey. You’re probably aware that about 50% of marriages end in divorce. Once the glow of romance fades, couples, including those who were once madly in love, experience conflict, disappointment and even despair.
Some feel the disappointment so deeply that they decide to end the relationship.
Others pretend that everything is okay but settle for less than they ever desired.
Others try to sort things out and work through their issues.
We Long for Companionship
And yet, in spite of the challenges of building a happy relationship, it is natural for us to want to find a partner and settle into a life together. We don’t like being alone. We want someone with whom to share our life experiences.
As a matter-of-fact, 96% of people in our society today marry or come together as a couple during their lifetimes. And even among those who divorce, the great majority of them will eventually remarry.
If our desire for companionship is so deep, what goes wrong?
We lack good role models
We come into marriage ill-prepared
We have unrealistic expectations of marriage and our partners
And we have not learned the tools and skills to build a successful relationship
Vast Research on Happy Marriages
But the good news is that there is a vast body of research on happiness in marriage. We know what happy couples do and these practices can be learned. Here’s one quick example.
Your partner says, “What beautiful sunset.”
You can respond in one of three ways. You can turn towards your partner by saying something like, “Wow, it certainly is beautiful. Look at those pink hues reflecting off the clouds.” You can turn away from your partner by ignoring the comment or responding with indifference. Or you can turn against your partner by making a negative or even argumentative comment. “I don’t see what’s so special about it.” Or, “I can’t get anything done when you continually interrupt me.”
In happy marriages, partners turn towards each other 85% of the time. In unhappy marriages, partners turn away or against about 85% of the time. This means that you can improve your relationship by learning to recognize “bids” to talk and turning towards rather than against or away.
My name is Roger K. Allen. I’m a psychologist and have spent hundreds of hours not only researching best practices of happy and stable relationships but I’ve also counseled with dozens of couples just like you. And, now I’ve gathered the best lessons from my experience as well as a rather vast body of research on marriage and consolidated them into this course on building a happy and stable relationship.
In healthy marriages, partners are there for each other. You’re each accessible, attuned, and responsive to one another’s needs and feelings. This is what this course is about, helping you become more emotionally accessible, attuned and connected.
Take-Aways from the Course
Understand five stages of marital satisfaction including where you are and next steps in your journey
How to replace toxic patterns of interaction with actions that build unity
Greater respect, acceptance and love for your spouse
Practices to build positive feelings and friendship
Differences between women and men and how to better meet your spouse’s needs
Greater responsibility for your own feelings and needs
How to have more open and vulnerable communication
Skills to handle disagreements and conflict
The mindset and communication skills to have a great sexual relationship
A shared vision of the future. shared vision of the future
Your relationships more than any other factor, define your happiness and the quality of your life. And there is really no relationship that matters more than that with your life partner.
Who is This For?
Anyone who wants to improve their relationship skills
Couples who have been together for years
Couples just getting started
Couples who have a good relationship but want to go to the next level
Couples who are struggling
Singles and dating
Divorcees
Counselors and coaches who want to do more work with couples
Two Ways to Do the Program
There are two ways to go through the program. One is as a couple. It’s nice if you talk it over and decide to learn and practice together.
The other is as an individual. It’s common for one or the other spouse to feel a greater desire to improve their relationship and so the other option is to go through it on your own. Not only will you learn a ton but you’ll begin to realize how much one person can do to make your relationship better. As you change, your relationship will change and improve. Your spouse will likely notice and begin mirroring the changes you’re making, whether he or she goes through the program or not.
Course Outline
Section 1: Overview including resources and tips to get the most value from the course.
Section 2: The five stages of marital satisfaction. This is a roadmap to help you understand where you are and how to move forward. I’ll also talk about four toxic patterns of interacting that kill love and prevent you from achieving a loving relationship. And, I introduce the six habits of a healthy relationship. It is these habits that will guide the remainder of our journey.
Section 3: Self-responsibility. It’s hard to be a great partner if you don’t accept responsibility for yourself—your needs, feelings and behavior. We’ll talk about how to be accountable for your own emotional reactions and how to make positive choices when things go wrong.
Section 4: Honor your partner. Your partner is a unique person, distinct from you, someone who has the right to his or her own feelings, needs, thoughts, and choices. This section is about understanding your differences and appreciating your partner, becoming committed to their happiness as well your own.
Section 5: Friendship and unity. You are companions in this journey and the happiest couples nurture each other and know how to have fun together. A number of lessons in this section will include steps you can take to build a more satisfying sexual relationship.
Section 6: Connection and communication. We’ll explore different styles of communication and how to make it safe to talk openly about your needs, feelings and expectations and allow your spouse to do the same.
Section 7: Resolving conflict. You’ll learn the art of dialogue and a powerful three-step process to not only resolve disagreements but in a way that preserves your trust and goodwill.
Section 8: Shared vision. You’ll not only define your shared vision but create a marital coat of arms and put in place some structures or routines to help you achieve your vision.
Bonus Materials
The course includes lots of extras in the form of handouts and worksheets as well as exercises to deepen your learning and make it more real. You’ll have a chance to take periodic quizzes to see how well you’re learning. I’m also giving you an audio of the entire program so you can listen on the go.
And remember, not only can get this course for a great price, but Udemy will grant you a full refund within the first thirty days if you’re not satisfied.
Here's what a few of my students are saying:
“This is the best purchase that I have made for myself in my life. You are purchasing something that makes you a better person. A family is the smallest and the most precious institution in a society and healthy societies starts within the health families. To save and protect this institution so much effort is needed, I think the instructor teaches all the necessary tools to maintain this unity.” Memis Cetinkaya
“Awesome class. Very insightful and hit me. We are a much better couple now. Thank you.” Antonia Yudhita
"This course is amazing, there is so many valuable information. The explanations are easy to understand, thanks to personal examples of his own marriage and his expertise in the psychological field." Andrea R.
"This Coach is a perfect match for me as I am a Relationship and Marriage Coach and I am learning so many new things. It makes me look deeper into my own marriage and gives me lots of ideas on how to help my clients. Kudos Dr. Allen!" Jo-Jean I.
Are you ready to make an investment in your most important relationship? Enroll now to learn state of the art, strategies, and skills to take your relationship to the next level.
Who this course is for:
- Anyone who wants to improve their relationship skills
- Couples who have been together for years
- Couples just getting started
- Couples who have a good relationship but want to go to the next level
- Couples who are struggling
- Singles and dating
- Divorcees
- Counselors and coaches who want to do more work with couples
Instructor
Welcome to my instructor page!
I’m a husband to Judy, father of 4 married adult children and 15 grandchildren (7 boys and 8 girls). In addition to creating content in leadership, personal development and relationships, I love spending time outdoors hiking, skiing and running, especially mountain trails.
I'm pleased to say that most of my courses are highly rated and best sellers in their respective categories on Udemy. That's because I have many years of professional experience and I care about quality and thoroughly research to understand a topic before I create a course.
Plus, I really care about you, my students. I want you to have the best experience possible as you go through my courses.
My Professional Journey
In 1992, I co-founded the Center for Organizational Design and worked with worked with top Fortune 500 companies, including AT&T Capital, Coach Leatherware, The US Forest Service, Corporation for Public Broadcasting, Merck Pharmaceuticals, Honeywell, Proctor & Gamble, and Hewlett Packard, as well as many small and medium-sized businesses.
We helped companies improve their leadership, clarify their business strategy, streamline their design (processes, structure and systems) and change corporate cultures by implementing high performance teams in which employees could “feel and act like partners in the business.”
Through the Center, my partner and I trained and certified over 1,500 trainers and consultants from around the world, providing them with access to our extensive library of over 70 leadership and team development modules. These programs have now been taught thousands of times, touching the lives of countless individuals across the globe.
Prior to consulting, I co-founded (with my father, the late C. Kay Allen) the Human Development Institute, where I spent a decade providing individual and marriage counseling. In addition, I also created and taught in-depth programs for the general public to help people move beyond limitations and lead more fulfilling lives.
Here are just few testimonials of people who have been through my curriculum:
"Literally thousands of professionals are exposed each year to Roger Allen’s material and the ripple effect has changed people's lives, made work easy, faster and better. Almost weekly I get rave reviews on his material. I cannot say enough about this man and his writings. I have purchased cases of his books and material to share with others." Jim Ullery, President, Center for Organizational Energy
"In my career as a specialist providing treatment to adolescents and their families, I have seen many parenting theories, models and books but nothing which rises to the stature of this work by Dr. Allen." Michael E. Berrett, Ph.D., Psychologist, nationally known clinical teacher, and CEO of Center for Change
“As a counselor, I found the insights and strategies to be incredibly valuable. The knowledge and skills have not only deepened my understanding…and enriched my ability to support other families in navigating the challenges they face. I was particularly impressed by your emphasis on fostering open communication and building strong relationships within families. Your strategies for effective communication, active listening, and conflict resolution are not only applicable but also transformative. With utmost enthusiasm, I wholeheartedly recommend this course to fellow counselors, parents, and anyone invested in fostering positive family dynamics.” Najiha Khan, Student Counselor AKES program
“I want so much to express my deepest love and gratitude for teaching me in such a beautiful way those principles of truth that literally changed my life overnight. I have never been happier. The things I learned from you have set me free because I have learned to love myself and to be completely open and honest. It’s amazing that I have lived my whole life for others approval but I’m so excited to have the rest of my life to do it my way.” Sally Hollingshead, student in Roger’s personal development program.