Communicate To Lead

EXTERNAL COMMUNICATIO CYCLE

This is a common cycle and I am sure you must have seen this in many books and articles.

First of all, we must understand what exactly the communication is. The communication is a process of transferring the information from one person to another. It involves the following important steps:

1. Sender: The person who initiates the communication. He has an idea or message he wants to convey.

2. Message: The information, idea, or thought that the sender wants to communicate.

3. Encoding: The process of converting the message into symbols, such as words, gestures, or other forms of communication that can be understood by the receiver.

4. Channel: The medium through which the message is transmitted. This could be verbal (spoken words), written (emails, texts), or non-verbal (body language, facial expressions).

5. Receiver: The person or group for whom the message is intended. They receive and interpret the message.

6. Decoding: The process by which the receiver interprets and understands the message.

7. Feedback: The response from the receiver back to the sender. This helps the sender know whether the message was understood correctly.

8. Noise: Any interference that may distort or hinder the communication process. This could be physical noise (like background sounds) or psychological noise (like preconceived notions or misunderstandings).

9. Context: The environment or situation in which the communication takes place

Understanding these components can help improve your communication skills and ensure your messages are effectively conveyed and understood.

In the entire communication cycle both the sender and the receiver change their role. After getting a message the receiver sends the message back. Now the receiver becomes sender and the sender is receiving the message he has become receiver. So, we can say in entire communication cycle, there has to be one sender, a message, a medium through which the message has been transferred, as receivers who receives the information, and the feedback.

EXTERNAL COMMUNICATIO CYCLE

Inputs

We take inputs from our five senses. We hear, say, feel, smell or taste something. This information is sent to the brain.

Brain

Brain receives this information and start processing. The following processes takes place on our brain:

· Filtration – All the information our brains are affected by the filters – our beliefs, values, family backgrounds, religion, region, etc. Here, the information is deleted, distorted, interpreted according to these filters.

· Internal Map – After filtration we create an internal map like putting labels or categorize as good, bad, etc.

· Internal State – Based on the internal map, we create an internal state like how we feel and think about the information we received. How we should act, react or respond.

Outputs

When the process in our brain completes, we respond by communicating, and behaving in certain way.

BARRIERS IN COMMUNICATION

There could be many barriers in our communication. Let’s consider the following:

• Know it all – ‘I know everything’, ‘I know it all’, etc. When people have this kind notion, they will stop listening to others or they may start undermining others. This barrier is often found in the people who are senior, highly educated or successful in their field.

• Language – Our language is affected by the region, tone and types of word that we use. The meaning of one word can be totally different in other language, even if the pronunciation is same. For example – ‘late’, ‘dada’, ‘fool’, ‘or’, etc.

• Our emotions – Emotions play a significant role in our communication, and while they can enhance our ability to connect with others, they can also act as barriers. For example:

o Certain emotions, such as fear or anxiety, can inhibit our ability to express ourselves effectively. We may hold back from communicating honestly or openly, fearing judgment or rejection.

o Sometimes, we project our own emotions onto others, assuming that they feel the same way we do.

o Strong emotions can trigger reactive behavior, causing us to respond impulsively without fully considering the consequences of our words or actions.

o In extreme cases, intense emotions can "hijack" our rational thinking processes, making it difficult to communicate calmly and logically.

o When we're caught up in our own emotions, it can be challenging to empathize with others and understand their perspective.

Overall, while emotions are a natural and important part of communication, being mindful of their influence can help us navigate conversations more effectively.

• Assumption – Assumptions can act as significant barriers in communication in several ways:

o When we make assumptions about others' intentions, beliefs, or feelings without verifying them, we risk misinterpreting their messages.

o Assumptions are often influenced by our personal biases and past experiences. These biases can distort our perception of reality and lead us to make unfair judgments or stereotypes about others, affecting how we communicate with them.

o Assumptions can prevent us from seeking clarification or asking questions when needed.

o Unchecked assumptions can fuel conflicts by creating misunderstandings and resentment. When we assume negative intentions or beliefs about others, it can lead to defensiveness and hostility, escalating tensions and making resolution more difficult.

To overcome the barriers created by assumptions in communication, it's essential to cultivate open-mindedness, empathy, and a willingness to question our own assumptions. Asking clarifying questions, actively listening to others, and being aware of our biases can help foster clearer and more effective communication.

VERBAL

Words We Use

“Words rule the world”. We must craft our words in effective ways. The following points will make your words more impressive:

• Use correct grammar

• Proper pronunciation

• Proper sequencing the words can affect what we speak

• Be specific

• Right words for right things

• Avoid rarity of words

• Simple & short sentences

• Mind the sequence of the words and sentences

Quality Of Our Language

• Sensory based - Involving our senses

• Associated/disassociated – For negative: Disassociate & For positive: associate

• Positive language – use no negative words in your language.

VOCAL - TONE OF VOICE (MODULATION)

Volume – Speak right volume so that it reaches well to others/listeners.

Speed – Mind your rate of speech or speed. Speaking too fast or too slow often creates barrier.

Clarity – Speak with clarity. Very words must be spoken well.

Stress – Stress the key words and adjectives to empower your voice. Giving stress can often change the meaning of our communication.

Pauses – Giving pauses in your communication too is very important. It can change the entire meaning of what you say. Give pauses at the end of the sentences. And most importantly, give pause after saying something very important.

NON-VERBAL

NON-VERBAL KEY POINTS

• Says a lot about feeling & thinking of the moment

• When words & body language conflict, trust body

• Part of body language reading is skill and part is sensitivity

• A single gesture doesn’t say anything. Do consider the context

• It is not universal

KEY DIMENSIONS

• Facial Expression – It includes position or expansion and contraction of our eyes, brow, nose, lips, frown, smile and head movements

• Body language – Positions of our arms, head, torso, leaning etc. It includes:

o Gesture – Movement of our hands, head and legs

o Posture – Positions of our hands, head and legs

• Proximity – How close or far we stand or be with others

• Movement – How fast or slow me move, walk or make our gestures

CONFIDENT BOGY-LANGUAGE

The following points will help you to have a positive and confident body-language:

Stand Straight

Make a habit of standing straight and tall.

Walk Fast

Walking fast shows your confidence. Increase your speed slightly and see the difference.

Start Work-Out

Work-out will change the way you look – posture, walk and overall looks. It will increase your energy level too.

POWER STATE

Make Eye Contacts

• Shows our confidence, approach, accessibility

• Establish before you start

• Have pleasant expressions

• Quality of eye contact = quality of communication

Smile

Smile indicates:

• Our confidence level

• Improve our likability

• It will erase all the nervousness

Nodding

• Shows agreements

• Say important points by nodding

• While listening, nod at important points

Lean Forward

• Shows interest

• Establishes bonding

• Say & listen important points by leaning

Open Body-Language

• Our body parts shouldn’t touch each other

• No hands in pockets

• No folded arms – front or back

• Shows we are open

• Nothing to hide

ASKING QUESTIONS

WHY DO WE NEED QUESTIONS

• To challenge our limitations and doubts

• To make things more specific

• To reach the right conclusion

• To counsel others

• To make our life richer

• To uncover our true potential

• To solve problems

• To make new discoveries

• To challenge our limitations and doubts

• To make things more specific

• To reach the right conclusion

• To counsel others

• To make our life richer

• To uncover our true potential

• To solve problems

• To make new discoveries

TYPES OF QUESTIONS

Closed Ended

• Ask for specific information

• Give limited choice of responses

• Yes or no

• Examples:

o When did this happen?

o Was he angry?

o Where is the meeting today?

Open Ended

• Give broad answers

• Open up matters

• Explore

• Explain

• Dig or dive deeper

Limiting Questions

• Why me?

• How could God do this to me?

• Why is life so unfair?

• Why am I so depressed?

• Why nobody loves me?

• Why did it happen to me?

Powerful Questions

• How can I use it?

• What can I learn from it?

• How/why does/will this work?

• What is so good about it?

• What options do I have now?

• How can I improve?

• How can I interpret it in such a way that it will serve me?

TIPS FOR POWERFUL QUESTIONS

• Ask questions in terms of possibilities

• Ask questions for taking action in present

• Ask questions on a regular basis

• Don’t just ask question, find the answer as well

• Don’t ask ‘Why’ questions

Importance of Listening

• It is 80% of communication

• We learn a lot by listening

• People prefer a good listener

• Listener controls the communication

Effective Listening

· Give time to speak

· Make him comfortable

· Show genuine interest

· Body-language during listening:

o Eye contact

o Keep you face and body towards the speaker

o Lean slightly forward

o Use gestures

o Not your head to show understanding

· Listen sympathetically

· Listen without judgment

· Do not criticize

· Ask well targeted questions

· Voice agreement

· Summarize, confirm & clarify

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

This is the last part of the course. This will help you to lead any communication you face.

· Set your communication goal

· Plan your communication

· Prepare for the questions that can be asked or you should ask

· Create emotional states

· Two-way communication

· Congruence between verbal and non-verbal

· Show genuine interest in the conversation

· Set your ego aside

· Use suitable examples

· Effect / intention

· Develop different styles

· Appreciate others

WAY AHEAD

We have to the end of this course. How was your journey? I am sure you must have enjoyed the course and learned a lot of valuable lesson. I am also sure you must have started implementing all the learning you had. I’d suggest you to do the self-assessment again that you did in the beginning of this book. You will definitely see a lot of difference in the various parameters.

Keep applying all the learning you had. When you apply a learning, start noticing the results you are getting. Our motivation shoots up when we get a desirable result from our effort.

If you like and learn something of value, please feel free to recommend this course in your circle. Let us help others to grow in their lives.

If you have any suggestion or feedback, please share at our email.

All The Best to You

God Bless

Suresh Kumar