Married to Autism? Find Connection and Ease
4.9 (10 ratings)
Course Ratings are calculated from individual students’ ratings and a variety of other signals, like age of rating and reliability, to ensure that they reflect course quality fairly and accurately.
69 students enrolled

Married to Autism? Find Connection and Ease

For Typically Developing Partners (aka "neurotypicals") in Mixed Relationships
Highest Rated
4.9 (10 ratings)
Course Ratings are calculated from individual students’ ratings and a variety of other signals, like age of rating and reliability, to ensure that they reflect course quality fairly and accurately.
69 students enrolled
Created by Anne Janai
Last updated 5/2018
English [Auto]
Price: $199.99
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
This course includes
  • 5.5 hours on-demand video
  • 5 downloadable resources
  • Full lifetime access
  • Access on mobile and TV
  • Certificate of Completion
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What you'll learn
  • Students will have the information and resources they need to get results in their individual lives. Students who commit to the course and do the work will have a series of self-made materials they can use to impact their mindset and elicit positive change.
  • Life experience -- being married to someone on the autism spectrum.


This course is for typically developing people (aka "neurotypicals") married to people on the autism spectrum (and those who aren't married yet or were married before). 

If you have autism yourself, come back soon for a course about marriage and relationships geared specifically to you. It's coming! 

If you're typically developing and your partner or spouse is on the autism spectrum, you're probably more than aware that there are very few resources available for you. This course is different. It was built with you in mind. I address autism within the context of what autism means for  you considering that you are now and always will be typically developing -- with typically developing needs and typically developing desires. You are who you are. 

You can't end your "typically-developingness" any more than your partner can change the autism. That is neurodiversity. Both partners are different and both partners are equally important.  

This course is designed to give you, the typically developing member of a mixed-neurological relationship, the education and tools you need to get results in your life. As you already know, I can't make impossible promises. You will always have a typically developing brain and your partner will always have a brain with autism. That isn't going to change. I can't "fix" the communication difficulties you and your partner inherently face because nobody can jump in and magically change the functioning of either of your brains. "Techniques" only go so far. They're hard on the typically developing partner and they're hard on the partner with autism.

So this course doesn't focus on "techniques." Instead, it does something more: it focuses on what you do have control over -- you

I'm looking forward to seeing you around! 

Who this course is for:
  • Typically developing spouses and intimate partners of people who have high-functioning autism (aka "neurotypicals). This course is not for people with ASD.
Course content
Expand all 29 lectures 05:20:20
+ What Does it Mean to be Typically Developing?
9 lectures 02:22:53

Fantastic decision! I'm excited to have you here! 

Welcome..... here's what's in store..... 

Preview 06:27

Meet Anne! She's got over 20 years personal experience with mixed-neurological marriages and a master's in clinical psychology from Harvard University. She's a consultant and coach and received the director's award for scholarship for her research on autism and marriage.

Introducing Your Instructor

Learn about what makes typically developing people different from people with autism. Learn about your strengths and what it means to be a typically developing person in a mixed-neurological relationship.  

Preview 20:00

Body empathy is a sense typically developing people have that people with autism don't have. Learn what your body empathy means for you and what it has to do with your mixed-neurological marriage and life. 

1.2 Digging Deep on Body Empathy

People with autism use their declarative memories to develop compensatory strategies that make it easier for them to manage the social world. Learn what their compensatory strategies are, how they use them and what this means for you. 

1.3 Autism's Compensatory Strategies

Learn about what happens in communication in a marriage when the typically developing person is using body empathy and the person with autism is using compensatory strategies

1.4 Communication in Mixed-Neurological Relationships

Celebrate what is best about being typically developing and how your strengths serve you, your family and the world. 

1.5 Your Strengths

Become aware of the ways your strengths actually work against you sometimes and what you can do about it.  

1.6 How Your Strengths Can Work Against You

Consider one possible (bonus) strategy that might help you better communicate your perspective, needs and desires to your partner. 

1.7 Bonus Idea: Behaviorism and Adults with ASD
+ Taking Control of Your Own Story
8 lectures 55:22

The narratives we surround ourselves with have the power to change our lives. Narrative is especially important in mixed-neurological relationships and has the power to get you the results you want. 

Preview 05:32

The first narrative we'll consider is the narrative of your life before your relationship: what was life really like for you before you met your partner and what does this mean for you? 

Thinking Through Your Life Before Your Relationship

Listen and then get your typing fingers out. Recording the narrative of your life before your relationship began can bring you new insight and clarity about yourself and your perspective. 

2.3 Writing the Narrative of Your Life Before Your Relationship Began

Your narrative about your relationship is based on different information than your partner's narrative about your relationship. Learn why, what this means for you, and the importance of knowing and repeating your narrative.

2.4 Thinking though the Narrative of Your Relationship

This is your chance to really, truly, honestly, authentically (and all those good words!) talk about what your relationship has really, truly, honestly and authentically been like for you. No cheating! 

2.5 Writing the Narrative of Your Relationship

The beliefs you hold about yourself and your possibilities for the future affect everything about your life. Learn to use belief to foster a strong sense-of-self and find the life change you want. Take my affirmations, personalize them and record them to your smartphone. 

2.6 The Power of Belief

Your narrative of the future is the most powerful narrative of all. Write your narrative of your future and then use it to make that future happen. In this lecture you'll learn exactly how. 

2.7 Narrative and Vision for the Future

The materials we've created so far have the power to change your life. Take them seriously! This video shows you exactly how to use them so you get results. 

2.8 How to Use Your Materials
+ You and Your Perspective
6 lectures 50:50

Typically developing people can see their own perspective and other people's perspectives at the same time. People with autism are stuck seeing only their own perspectives. This means that you're carrying around a lot more social information every time you interact with your partner. Consider what this means for you. 

3.1 Carrying Two Perspectives vs. Carrying One Perspective

People with autism are known for experiencing meltdowns. Consider what this means when you're married to them and how their meltdowns affect you and your life. 

3.2 Meltdowns and Both of You

Body language, facial expressions and voice inflection are a big part of your life and the way you experience the world. They have a major impact on you because you're typically developing.

3.3 Body Language and its Impact on You

Many partners of people with autism spend almost all of their time in caregiving roles. What's true for you? Think about who you take care of and who takes care of you. 

3.4 The Time you Spend Caregiving

Trauma is a normal part of being human. All humans experience its common for both partners in mixed-neurological marriages to experience trauma within their relationships. Learn what trauma has to do with the body and what you can do about it. Since trauma is normal, make healing from it a normal part of your practice, too. 

3.5 Body Awareness -- Developing a Practice

Here it all is: summarized for you in one easy format. You can't change your partner's autism and you can't change your typically developing brain, but there are some things you can do.....  and this course gets you ready to do them. It even offers the structure you need to make them happen. 

You've got this. You can do it! 

3.6 Self-Care and Your Practice Summarized
+ What is Love?
5 lectures 58:53

Marriage is different than other relationships. Learn about companionate love, intimacy, commitment and what they have to do with different kinds of relationships. Consider the way small acts of support and caring over time contribute to commitment in some relationships but not others. 

4.1 Marriage is Different than Friendship or Parenthood

Introducing Robert Sternberg's triangle of love and what it might have to do with autism and your marriage. Take the time to plot your relationship his model and think through what this means for you. 

4.2 Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love

The old saying is that "opposites attract," but the reality is that people usually fall in love with what feels familiar to them. Think through what might have played a role in you falling in love with your partner. 

4.3 Attraction -- How Mixed-Neurological Relationships Begin

Sex is never an easy topic and this time it's harder than ever. Listen as Anne carefully tries to address sex, autism and what it all means for the typically developing partner. 

4.4 Autism and Sex

Marriages between typically developing people and people with autism are mixed relationships just as much as mixed-orientation relationships. Infidelity happens -- on both sides. Anne addresses this from the perspective of typically developing women in mixed relationships who are considering having affairs, etc. (sorry men.... she doesn't have you covered on this one.... sigh).

4.5 Society and Infidelity
+ Hope -- Finding Your Connection and Ease
1 lecture 12:22

This is a subject that gets bigger and bigger. It affects our children, our parents, our community and friends. There is always more to say. 

Anne ends with a message of hope for your future growth and journey. With education, awareness and the tools you need to take charge of your life, great things are possible. Hope lies in focusing on you. You're worth it and now you have the tools you need to make it happen!

Be well and great wishes of peace...... 

5.1 Your Journey Forward