Caregiving for Aging Parents: Your Stress & Quality of Life

Jillian confides in her husband Peter. She has some questions about her aging, and her duties to her aging parents. Peter brings up another concern that she had not considered, living arrangements. 

As people age, it is important to distinguish between normal aging and problems associated with disease. Knowledge is power. More information supports greater success in aging. Research has advanced a definition of successful aging. Find out what activities can stimulate, challenge, and involve your relative or care recipient.

Planning for care may look different from family to family. Every family has to decide whether to engage in consumer-directed care or community-directed care. The structure and involvement of the family, awareness and cognition of the care recipient, and community factors may impact the decision.

Julian negotiates with his employer to rework his work schedule. He finds that his boss has his own caregiving story.

Pew Research Link

An increasing percentage of the workforce is actively involved in caring for a relative or friend over 50 years of age. According to a survey by the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP, 60% of caregivers also worked while providing care. Many struggle with the competing demands of work and family responsibilities. Sixty-two percent (61%) of caregivers surveyed reported asking a supervisors, coworkers, or management for accommodation related to care giving responsibilities. Accommodations are more prevalent among caregivers working full-time.

Peter returns home to find that Jillian has has a rough day. Scheduling can be an important skill ensuring that you get the balance you need in a busy day of caregiving.

A study by AARP and the National Alliance of Caregivers in 1997 concluded that a high

percentage of caregivers use positive words to describe their feelings about care giving. Balance between caregiver stress and rewards may include reciprocity training in order to develop a system of recognized contribution from caregiver to care recipient and from care recipient to caregiver. Balance may also include support services provided within the community.

Brother and Sister discuss having someone come in to assess and assist with care of mom and dad. Realizing that your community has resources can be an important part of caregiving. 

Professional assessments can be important to efficient utilization of caregiver resources. A positive relationship with a professional can not only help to reduce stress, but it can be a gateway to a number of community resources. The Area Agencies on Aging is a starting point to connect with professionals and community resources.

Jillian discovers that Mom may not be hearing as well as she used to. Even though this is an expected result of older age, Jillian wants to know how best to approach the discussion. 

As your relative ages, you will want to become more aware of what is called “normal aging.” There will be physical changes in later years, such as decreases in energy level, strength, and agility. In some cases, physical changes are due to nutrition. Some older adults will experience sensory impairment such as vision and hearing problems as a normal result of aging. The caregiver needs to be particularly alert to sensory impairments because they can lead to falls or other challenges to wellbeing. Medication management is also an important physical health consideration in older age. Careful observation of the care recipient and any changes in mood, balance, appetite, or pain may indicate a need for medical attention. Special attention should be given to the self-report of the care recipient. Complaints should not automatically be attributed to old age.

Julian notices that Dad has started forgetting where he puts things. Julian is concerned and wonders how much he can help not knowing how to assess the situation. 

Mental health and cognitive concerns in aging are just as important and possibly related to physical outcomes for the aged. Though depression affects a portion of Americans 65 and older each year, it often goes undetected. Memory is an important cognitive concern in older age. It is important to realize that decreased memory does not necessarily indicate Alzheimer’s or other cognitive disease.

Cynthia, the social worker, arrives to meet with Julian's parents. Julian is present as well and very impressed with the professional services worker.

Independent, semi-independent, and dependent adults have various living arrangement options. Living arrangements become even more important when you consider that older adults spend 20% or less outside the home. When considering the various housing options, remember that the arrangements you choose will affect the older adult’s happiness, health, mobility, and social life. Care recipients should ideally be involved in the planning and decision making.

The family decides that Julian will move back home. Penny is thanked for the impetus she provided to get mom Jillian thinking and acting on caregiving plans.

Caregivers should make sure care recipients have well-thought-out life-planning arrangements that may include selecting a lawyer, drafting power of attorney, managing joint bank accounts, or composing living wills. Typically, medical decisions are made by older person’s doctors, unless a living will has been written and signed. Advanced planning can go a long way toward securing the legacy of the care recipient if the worst happens.