Beyond Body Positivity

It is hard to be a person with a body.

And your feelings about your body (as I hope you journaled about after watching Lecture 2) are valid.

You may have many harsh and complex feelings about your body, but that doesn't mean you need to ignore them. You don't need to be a certain weight or look a certain way to struggle with body image issues. Validate and honor your feelings so you can work towards freeing yourself from the lies of diet culture and anti-fat bias.

We live in a misogynistic society that wants women to be small and not take up space. When women focus on beauty standards and calorie counting, it consumes our minds and keeps us from thinking about what's truly important, such as fighting against injustice and sharing our inner beauty with the world.

I hope you emerge from this course feeling empowered, knowing that you are loved and valued, no matter what. No one can take away your worth, regardless of your shape, size, weight, or even your health status.

Is it bad to pursue health-promoting behaviors? Absolutely not.

However, you can still lead a healthy life without pursuing weight loss.

The book Health at Every Size was my introduction to the anti-diet culture world, and it is a data-backed book about how health isn't one size fits all. In fact, the book explains how engaging in health-promoting behaviors is better for our health than attempting intentional weight loss.

Since the book was written, the author has shared an even more up-to-date view on the HAES movement and discusses it in the podcast below.

I encourage you to read the introduction to Health At Every Size (and the whole book when you get a chance!) and listen to the Food Psych Episode with Health At Every Size Author Lindo Bacon.

Check them out in the attached resources!

Studies show that diets don't work. Check out the resources attached to this lecture to learn more.

95% of diets fail, so why do doctors keep prescribing diets when they wouldn't prescribe a medication with a 95% fail rate?

I encourage you to reflect on the lies you've been told about weight and health, the feelings you have around diets, and the goals you have for yourself in life.

In a journal, answer the following:

1. What has been your relationship with dieting? If you've dieted in the past, how has dieting made you feel in the long term?

2. What if your body never changed to become the "dream body" you've wanted? How would you feel? Allow yourself to feel mad or sad, but I encourage you to get angry at systems of oppression and the unjust world we live in instead of getting mad at yourself.

3. What matters to you most in life? Reflect on the ways you can work towards your life goals without changing your body. Reflect on how an "easier" life doesn't always mean a "better" life.

I want to start off this lesson with a few reminders:

1. It is not bad to gain weight.

2. Being fat doesn't mean you are unhealthy

3. Even if you are unhealthy for any reason, that doesn't mean you are unworthy. You are loved and worthy no matter what.

As I talked about in the previous lectures, we know that diets don't work long-term. So if we don't diet, how can we eat in a way that honors our hunger and nourishes us? This is where intuitive eating comes into play!

Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch are the originators of intuitive eating, and I encourage you to check out more of their work. I've linked to a podcast episode featuring Elyse Resch, who dispels myths about intuitive eating.

I've listed the 10 principles for intuitive eating below and linked to the official Intuitive Eating website in the resources section for you to continue learning more about this practice.

1. Reject Diet Culture

2. Honor Your Hunger

3. Make Peace with Food

4. Discover the Satisfaction Factor

5. Feel Your Fullness

6. Challenge the Food Police

7. Cope with Your Emotions with Kindness

8. Respect Your Body

9. Movement—Feel the Difference

10. Honor Your Health—Gentle Nutrition

There is ample evidence to show that fat is not the problem, but fat stigma and dieting themselves are often to blame for negative health outcomes.

I encourage you to read the article linked below, titled "Fat Is Not the Problem—Fat Stigma Is" to read more about the lies we've been told regarding fatness and health.

I've also linked to Aubrey Gordon's essay about her experience living in a fat body. As we talk about fat, it's crucial to hear from fat people themselves as they share their own reflections on the fat experience.

I've also attached Michelle Ellman's insightful essay on why you should never comment on anyone else's body.

No matter your shape, size, ability, or identity, uplifting the fat community helps everyone, as it is a key part in working towards a kinder, more supportive, healthier, and more inclusive world.

Health is not a moral imperative.

You don't need to be healthy to be a good person.

You don't need to be healthy to be loved, valued, and worthy of respect.

You don't need to be healthy, period.

Is it bad to be healthy (in whatever sense that means to you)? Of course not.

But should we base human worth on health? Absolutely not.

As mentioned in the Food Psych podcast (linked in the resources), watching a Netflix marathon and running a marathon are morally equivalent.

Check out the episode below (along with the other resources) and know that you are worthy of love, regardless of your health status!

We are told the harmful lie that the best thing we can be is thin and the worst thing we can be is fat.

No matter who you are and what you look like, you are worthy of joy and love.

You don't have to be on a diet to be "good."

You don't have to hide away because your body does not fit society's current standard of beauty.

You don't have to hold yourself back from living out the life you want to live.

Practice the following two exercises to soak in a moment of love and joy.

1. Imagine your childhood dreams are coming true

Think about what your dreams were as a child.

Even if it sounds silly, imagine living them out right now. Draft your winning Oscar's speech. Picture yourself scoring the winning goal. Create a vivid picture in your head of yourself, in the body you're in now, achieving a big accomplishment.

Soak in the feeling of joy and tell yourself that you deserve this. You are worthy of joy and goodness.

2. Re-live a time when you felt loved

Think about a time when you felt truly loved and supported. Relive that memory in your head.

If you can't think of a memory, make one up.

If it's helpful, write down what happens in this moment.

Who is with you? What are the words of love and encouragement they are saying to you? How do you feel?

Stay in this moment and remember the feeling of love, joy, and support. You are worthy of joy and goodness.

Many people look at weight loss drugs like GLP-1s as if they are miracle drugs that deliver happiness and weight loss for everyone. There are three important reminders to consider when thinking about weight loss drugs:

1. Weight loss drugs do not mean that all fatness will be eliminated. It also does not mean we should diminish the importance of body acceptance and body liberation. If anything, it will be more important to keep our focus on respecting people in all bodies.

2. Despite what any ads say, living your life at a lower weight does not mean you will be happier or that your life will be better. You can live a fulfilling and wonderful life right now without ever losing weight!

3. Weight loss does not simply equate to being in good health. You can never tell how healthy someone is just by looking at them.

Read the attached articles and write a reflection in your journal about your relationship with or your understanding of weight loss drugs and the thin ideal. In a society that values thinness above all else, reflect on what matters most to you in life and why.

Christy Harrison (and nti-diet dietician) puts it best when she says, " [Diet culture] steals your joy, your spark, and your precious time on this planet. That’s why I call it The Life Thief. "

Diet culture is more than just following a diet or telling us we need to be thin at all costs.

It also shows up in sneaky ways under the guise of  "clean eating,"  "getting toned," and overall health and wellness conversations.

Get your journal and make a list of the ways in which you see diet culture in your own life.

You may write down that your aunt always says she's being "bad" for having dessert or that an Instagram ad promotes a diet in your feed. Write down as many examples as you can think of.

Spotting diet culture is the first step in stopping it from stealing your power.

Now that you can spot diet culture, you can choose how to respond to it in a way that will keep your peace, joy, and confidence.

Consider responding in the following ways:

1. Choose to say nothing. You are allowed to ignore people and walk away from a bad situation.

2. Make a comment that shuts down the conversation. For example, "Let's not make comments about other people's bodies." You can also be clever with your response. I was speaking to a new mom who just gave birth, and she kept having people say to her, "You look great after just giving birth." It made her feel like people were analyzing her body. She found that saying, "Thank you, I'm so happy to be a mother," helped her flip the conversation to focus on her happiness instead of her body size.

3. Have a conversation about how inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. If you are willing to speak about it and you think the person will be receptive to the conversation, then you may want to start a conversation about anti-diet culture, HAES, intuitive eating, and other related topics. Feel free to share resources with them or provide them with the link to get access to this course!

Protect yourself from harmful diet culture messaging as much as you can!

Unfollow social media accounts that talk about dieting. Set your content preferences under Settings > Content Preferences > Choose to not see posts with words like "weight loss," for example. You can also click the "x" on social media ads and content.

Set boundaries online and in real life around what conversations you let into your space to protect your peace and wellbeing!

A non-traditional way of dealing with diet culture talk is by playing diet culture bingo!

Gamifying diet culture talk allows you to cope with something harmful in a fun way instead of internalizing the negative commentary.

A diet culture comment that could've ruined your day may just get you a bingo win!

This game may not be for everyone, but I allow you to have fun with it if it works for you!

Check out the bingo cards in the resource section.

Diet culture is harmful. If you've participated in it (as most, if not all, of us have), forgive yourself. Diet culture is the norm, and we must unlearn diet culture in order to fight against it.

I urge you to examine how you can eliminate the ways in which you perpetuate anti-fat bias or diet culture in your own life:

1. Don’t make assumptions about people just based on their size.

2. Don’t moralize food for being “good” or “bad” - food is food.

3. Don’t comment on people’s bodies, and definitely don’t compliment people for losing weight.

4. Don’t make it all about health. If someone wants to pursue something for health reasons, that is completely up to them, but we are all loved and worthy regardless of how healthy we are.

5. Let’s go beyond body positivity and work toward a world where we celebrate people’s inner beauty.

Let's celebrate and uplift one another for our inner beauty above all else.

What have you heard about body positivity, body neutrality, body acceptance, body liberation, and body reflexivity?

Have you heard of some of these terms and not others?

In the following lectures, we'll go through each term.

I invite you to go beyond body positivity to consider how each term resonates with you.

You can take away what is helpful to your healing journey and leave the rest!

Body positivity began with the fat rights movement in 1969. It was a radical movement to promote the acceptance of fat bodies.

Online, it has become associated with positive messages such as "love yourself" and "all bodies are bikini bodies."

Companies have leveraged the body-positive movement to drive product sales and showcase models in sizes beyond 0-2.

Write in your journal about this term.

What do you think of when you think of the term body positivity? What is your relationship with body positivity? Does it make you feel good? Do you think it does enough to fight for people in less privileged bodies?

Body neutrality is about taking a neutral approach to your body image. Ideally, you aren't thinking about how much you love your body or hate your body. Instead, you have neutral feelings toward your body.

Body neutrality often resonates with people who may feel uncomfortable with the concept of loving their bodies. And if you don't love your body, that's okay! The goal is simply not to have negative feelings about your body that hold you back from living a fulfilling life. When you feel neutral about your body image, you can live your best life even if you don't absolutely love your body.

Write in your journal about what comes to mind when you think of "body neutrality."

Do you think it's a stepping stone on your way to body positivity? Does it seem more attainable for you than body positivity? How would your life be different if you had mainly neutral feelings towards your body instead of negative ones?

Unlike body positivity, which often encourages you to love your body, body acceptance encourages you to accept your body.

On some days, you may feel great about your body and be filled with gratitude for all the things it does for you, and on other days, you may not like it so much.

But overall, body acceptance is about accepting your body for what it is and not striving to change it.

Write in your journal what comes to mind when you think of body acceptance.

Do you accept/respect your body now for everything it is (and isn't)? Do you feel grateful for what your body can do? Does accepting your body seem like a more feasible task than loving your body?

Body liberation is all about fighting against and freeing yourself from oppressive systems that work to devalue and disrespect certain people's bodies (particularly bodies that are not white, thin, and able-bodied).

If you've ever felt like something wasn't made for your body or like you were forgotten about because of the way your body moves through the world, then I encourage you not to turn on yourself, but instead turn on the systems of oppression that value some bodies over others.

Living in a world that accepts and respects all bodies helps all of us, especially as our bodies change over time, often in ways we can't control.

A few great books on body liberation include:

• Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia by Sabrina Strings

• The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love by Sonya Renee Taylor

• Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Anti-fatness as Anti-Blackness by Da'Shaun Harrison

Write in your journal what comes to mind when you think of body liberation.

When was a time when you felt like your body didn't fit in? Did you blame yourself or blame the oppressive systems at hand? When was a time when you felt as if your body was truly free?

Body reflexivity is not about thinking positively or negatively about your body, but about shifting the focus away from your body as a whole.

In the attached essay, Kate Manne discusses how body positivity has been widely co-opted by thin white women, and body neutrality seems unattainable when we already have so many feelings toward our bodies. As a result, she encourages us to think: My body is for me.

Body reflexivity isn't about taking a stance on how you should feel about your body (positive, negative, or neutral), but instead reminds us that we exist for ourselves, not to please anyone else.

Read Kate Manne's piece, and in your journal, reflect on the phrase "my body is for me." Think about times when you felt as if your body was for you and only you.

Body autonomy is about the right we have to change our bodies.

For some people, it can feel empowering to know that they can change their bodies in any way they desire whether that is deciding to change the color of their hair to getting a nose job.

You are, of course, allowed to change your body in ways that feel good to you; however, it's important to think deeply about the motive behind why you may want to change your body (especially in a permanent way). 

Read my essay attached that covers how to navigate complex feelings toward plastic surgery from a body positive perspective. In the essay, and below, I've outlined five reminders that all women should consider as they navigate the body modification space:

1. You don’t need to change your body, especially not for anyone else’s pleasure. Just because other people are changing their bodies in a certain way doesn’t mean that you have to. You are loved and worthy as you are without changing your body at all. Have you drastically changed your body? Guess what? Still very much loved and worthy.

2. It’s okay to dislike things about your body. Body grief is real, and it’s human. We don’t have to set the unrealistic expectation to love ourselves every minute of every day. Feel your feelings.

3. More often than not, what we believe to be an external body issue is often more of an internal issue with our lack of self-confidence or self-esteem. And you can work on gaining more confidence while not changing a thing about your outward appearance.

4. Your body is the least interesting thing about yourself. Your loved ones love you for who you are as a person, not for how well you conform to society’s current beauty standards.

5. Be kind to your body and make decisions out of body love and respect rather than body hatred or shame. Our bodies are our homes. They are our vessels in life that accompany us as we accomplish goals and live out our dreams.

No matter what you choose to do with your body now or in the future, I hope you know that you are loved exactly as you are in this moment, and you never need to change your body to be loved and worthy.

Write in your journal your thoughts on the concept of body autonomy.

Is it freeing to reclaim your body as your own and change it in any way you see fit? Have you ever felt pressured to change your body in any way? Consider where that pressure may be coming from, even if you believe it is only coming from yourself.

Follow these ten tips for living an anti-diet life focused on empowerment and self-love:

1. Don’t restrict food

2. Don't refer to food as good or bad

3. Make meaningful compliments

4. Move your body joyfully

5. Set boundaries

6. Stop comparing yourself to others

7. Know that your worth is more than your weight

8. Remember, it’s okay not to LOVE your body every day

9. Take care of yourself and do activities that you love

10. Affirm yourself and your body size

In your journal, reflect on the following: Which of these tips will be hardest for you to follow? What is holding you back from living out an anti-diet life filled with empowerment and self-love? How can you set yourself up for success, so you can use your body as a vessel in which you follow your dreams and live a meaningful life?

It is my dream that you will free your life from the lies of diet culture and live a life that is ignited by inner beauty!

You are so much more than a body or numbers on a scale, so I hope that you share your dreams, passions, and talents with the world and know just how loved and worthy you are.

If this course was helpful, I hope you share it with a friend!