
What Obstructs Listening?
Factors that conspire to interfere with our ability to listen to others effectively are covered in the lesson.
Effective listening skills seem obvious but it is unusual to find people who have really perfected them in themselves. As you develop your listening skills you will distinguish yourself and appear more self-assured and confident. You will also be able to build more positive, collaborative and productive relationships.
It is worth noting that surveys show that most people tend to over-estimate their ability to listen well. Despite our best intentions though, we don't do as well as we could do when it comes to hearing what others have to say, and their intentions behind the words, and their needs.
Listening should not be a passive activity of simply receiving what you hear. It is an interactive, dynamic process. There are at least four basic parts to listening well: hearing, considering and interpreting, understanding, and responding. This section includes lectures which explain each of these.
This lecture explains the process, and there is a guide on active listening and rapport-building included with the first lesson which you can download for reference and further study.
It's about more than hearing...
Hearing is only part of the listening process. Our hearing is uncritical and non-selective, so we must apply mental processes to ensure that we hear what interests us, and filter out the rest. We must also tale steps – if we are to listen well – to ensure that we understand the message as the speaker intended.
Consider the whole message
Any important message you hear has to be considered and interpreted. The words convey a small part of the meaning; to make sense of the message we must consider the rest of the message conveyed in non-verbal cues, tone of voice, emphasis. In some cases, we must even wonder about what is NOT said, in order to evaluate the overall meaning.
What does the message mean?
In the understanding stage, we aim to learn the meaning of the message. This is not always easy. Even when we have understood the words in a message, because of the differences in our mindsets, experiences, beliefs and biases, we can make the mistake of attaching our own meanings to the words of others.
Regular summaries please
‘Summarising’ simply means that you reflect back your understanding of what someone else is saying. You can do this at various points during a conversation to check understanding as you go along, and it is always a good idea to conclude any detailed conversation with a summary.
Summarising effectively helps with mutual understanding and rapport. It also helps the speaker to clarify their ideas and even to gain insight.
Agree the outcomes
When you come to the end of a conversation, you may need to wrap it up by agreeing on what should happen next. If your conversation requires any further development, follow-up actions, feedback or even more discussion, this should be agreed at this point, before you finally bring the interaction to an end.
How motivated are you to listen effectively?
To be an effective listener you must want to listen well. Being motivated in your listening will mean the process becomes a more natural habit.
In this context, being motivated will make it easier for you to focus and concentrate. It will be less likely that your thoughts, judgements and guesses – things the mind will do if you don't control it – will intrude while you are listening.
I'm not suggesting that we should listen with this degree of attention all the time. That isn't possible, nor necessary, and most of our casual conversations don't require it. But if you are motivated enough to learn and develop the skills, then you can bring that same enthusiasm to your listening when the situation needs you to be at your best.
Curiosity and commitment
Motivated listeners appear interested and genuinely curious about what they are hearing. Curiosity will sharpen your skills and bring new colour and detail to the interaction. Commitment to the process means you can concentrate on the 'here and now' without letting your mind wander, and you'll also appear more confident to the speaker.
As a rule, people tend to listen to someone they value. When you show respect by giving them your full attention, they are more likely to respect you. This also motivates them to engage more fully in the conversation. Over time, this also leads to greater trust.
So, effective listening is also a way to motivate others. You gain their respect and trust, and you learn more about their wishes and needs.
This lesson explains more, and there is also a checklist to help you reflect on how motivated you are to listen well.
This section contains your course workbook – check the exercises and reading list – and a number of other crib-sheets to help you polish your listening skills in different situations.
I add to these from time to time in response to student requests, so please be sure to revisit this section if you feel you need anything extra to help with your learning.
I have also included some relevant videos. Julian Treasure is an outstanding speaker and authority on speaking and listening, and there's a video on listening from one of my other courses.
This course teaches practical techniques that help you focus your attention, understand others more clearly, and support more productive dialogue.
Listening skills are often overlooked, yet they are the most essential skills in communication.
When you listen carefully and attentively, people feel respected and understood. This creates trust and leads to stronger professional relationships.
Active listening also benefits the listener. It improves focus and concentration, helps you understand situations more clearly, and can reduce stress by keeping your attention on the present conversation rather than racing ahead to what you might say next. It also provides tools to manage conflict, improves communication, and increases confidence when handling difficult or high-stress situations.
Save time and effort
Active listening also helps prevent the time-wasting misunderstandings that often arise in everyday conversations. When people only half-listen, messages are easily misinterpreted, decisions are made on incorrect assumptions, and problems have to be revisited later.
By listening carefully and checking your understanding, you reduce confusion and keep conversations focused and productive. These same skills are also valuable in managing disagreements. When people feel heard and understood, tensions often decrease and conflicts become easier to resolve through constructive discussion.
Active Listening, a skill for Life
This course introduces the key principles of active listening and shows you how to apply them in real conversations.
Active listening is a vital life-skill that can benefit you in all walks of life. Whether you need to persuade someone, sell them a product, get them on board with a project, or just simply, take more notice of you, it all starts with listening well. Have you noticed? People pay attention and follow people who listen to THEM.
These are just some of the reasons that make listening such an essential aspect of communication. As someone once said "If you can't listen you can't lead".
You will learn practical techniques that help you focus your attention, understand others more clearly, support more productive dialogue, and build better relationships.
The course includes:
The benefits of becoming a better listener
How your attitude affects your listening
The habits that interfere with effective listening
A listening skills inventory for self-assessment
How you can develop the qualities of an effective listener
A practical five-point listening framework to guide you
A reading list for further study
Developing strong listening skills will help you communicate more effectively and create better outcomes in your professional relationships.