A Wee Bit Happier- The Original Course

Summary day 1, what is happiness?

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

In Day 1, I explained how the course is laid out. My name is Maeve (like Dave). I’ll be your guide in your quest for happiness over the next few weeks.

We thought about how we could define happiness, and spent a moment thinking about how YOU would define your own happiness? Inner peace, continuous personal growth, a life in service, fun…..health, wealth?

Neuroscientists and psychologists worldwide have been studying this for the past 30 or so years. True happiness is a rainbow term for different types of positive emotions & feelings we experience. It’s your overall well-being. It’s YOU experiencing a multitude of positive emotions on a regular basis, while honoring your authentic personality and values. It’s feeling pleasure in all of your senses. We talked about what happiness isn’t as well. Happiness isn’t just about smiling and thinking positive thoughts- rather, it is living a better life, and being capable of surviving & dare I say thriving, even if natural disasters happen (even pandemics), relationships implode, illness strikes, or political upheaval upsets us.

You can make changes in your life to improve your sense of happiness. In fact, 40% of our happiness can be determined by our actions, and habits. That 40%? That’s what we’re going to work on in the coming weeks. I will guide you through exercises that will help develop those habits. Each day, we’ll have a new video to watch, and cartoon prompts to guide you through exercises and activities. These are tried & tested exercises. Just like any goal, happiness requires working and practicing on skills that we haven’t quite mastered yet. Which is why, we’ll REPEAT some exercises daily during our time together, as well as do specific exercises according to the topic of the day. Set aside a 20-30 minutes a day each day. YOU are worth it!

The daily exercises that we’ll do together, are all designed to help you build a learned optimism even if it doesn’t come naturally. So even if you are a bit of a grouch, don’t worry, you can still learn to be a wee bit happier. Some of these practices are deceptively simple, some of these practices are perhaps going to feel a little bit uncomfortable or unnatural for you, and that’s perfectly fine- don't worry! Keep in mind that you are practicing and developing lifelong habits- some of the best, simplest and most potent exercises you can do for your mental health..

I’ll also post resources- like who are the best scholars, the best researchers and the best books about that specific topic, so that you can delve further into what YOU need.

So what’ll you need for the next three weeks? An open mind, somewhere comfortable and quiet. You’ll need a pencil & paper, or you can use a note function on your phone.

Further Resources

Where to get started on Happiness?

• Shawn Achor TEDx Talk (awesome video)

• The How of Happiness, a book by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky

• Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill, a book by Matthieu Ricard
  

Summary: Day 2 Positive thinking, positive psychology.

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

So, is studying happiness just touchy-feely, la-la-la stuff, you might ask. Great question! In a word, no. ;-)

The fields of Positive Psychology and neuroscience have done so many studies and so much research over the past few decades, and they have come to the same conclusion: that learning how to be happier IS possible. And changing your brain by positive actions or habits CAN lead to happiness. As we said yesterday, happiness has been proven to give us benefits in nearly every aspect of our lives- from our health, to wealth, to having more friends, to being more creative and productive, to having more energy. In fact, positive emotions are contagious just like fear, so EVEN the people around you can benefit from your increased happiness.

Positive psychology is basically trying to cultivate what scientists and psychologists call “optimum human functioning” or living your best life. Experiencing an overall well-being, and a sense of contentment with life as a whole. We can ABSOLUTELY nurture and develop our optimism. Just like you learn to read & write, you can change your patterns of negative thinking. Which, right now, all over the world, is possibly THE best news that you can get. Right?!

We broke down happiness into three main components: First- bursts of pleasure. The 2nd component is living a meaningful life. Essentially- how do you contribute to society? The 3rd is simply personal growth. It comes from life experience and the self-confidence and sense-of-self that comes with mastering a skill or set of skills.

The challenge for happiness is that it’s not a pie-chart equally divided between these 3 components. YOU have to figure out what balance of these three components makes YOU happy. Lots of very smart people have identified even more elements that affect and contribute to our happiness- we'll talk about them as the course develops.

We delved into positive emotions and a gratitude practice; learning to be mindful of the GOOD things in our life, even when, or especially when, there is chaos and sadness around us. This doesn’t mean that we are unaware, or blinkered towards the social injustices, natural disasters or anything tragic that is happening in our world. We all will experience or have experienced hard times and, mostly, we can’t control what happens to us, but we CAN control how we deal with the situation. Unfortunately, many people have what’s called a learned helplessness. Some of us have a little, or a lot, of this lack of hope and faith in ourselves- that’s why we want to change our brains to being more positive.

Reframing our thoughts is a great habit that we can develop to improve our perception on life. Becoming more aware of negative thoughts, when we have them and learning to challenge our thinking, means that we can change our thoughts to be more self-compassionate and kinder. It gives us hope, which in turn helps us flourish. By changing your outlook to go to a more positive YOUR WHOLE brain changes. The kind of hope we talk about here though, is not some kind of daydreaming or wishful thinking. Instead, it’s the kind of hope that that propels us to take the action needed to work towards achieving our goals and living that best life, despite our fears.

Further Resources:

• Flourish (book) Martin Seligman,

• Martin Seligman (video)- Author of Authentic Happiness & Flourishing

• Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill, Book by Matthieu Ricard

  
  

Day 3 Life purpose, values, meaningful life.

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

Today we discussed how there are two types of love that we can experience from family (or guardians) that influence our self-confidence; conditional or unconditional. Put simply, unconditional means that deep in your core- you know you are loved for being YOU, no matter what that looks like. This love is like an anchor, always holding you strong throughout your life.

Conditional love, on the other hand comes with, you guessed it, CONDITIONS!!!!. It makes us feel like we will only be loved IF we are a certain way, dress a certain way, speak, behave in a certain way, follow a path chosen for us. Without honoring our true values, personality traits and character strengths, happiness will always seem elusive, and out of reach. When you learn to love yourself, you feel like you are empowered to change your life. You become enthusiastic about developing your skills, you are less fearful about failure, and you embark on the adventure of achieving goals that are important to YOU. So today, we asked you to take stock of your life so far. We’re willing to bet you have overcome a lot of adversity!

Another thing we looked at today was the Reticular Activating System- we talked about reprograming our mind and giving ourselves pep-talks. Another great way to improve our sense of self, and self-esteem, is to know what our character strengths are. And then to use them to the best of our ability. By determining your best strengths, you can make sure that EVERY SINGLE DAY, you are honoring who your authentic self is. THIS, is what will give you a sense of living a more meaningful life, and generally your physical and psychological health will flourish. It’s YOU being you. How do you determine what those character strengths are? Through a free survey at VIA Institute on Character. Please click here. The absolutely wonderful thing about the character strengths, is that if you are not living your dream life right now, you can start making a difference straight away, using these strengths to put your best foot forward. Both feet actually… ;-)

Further Resources:

Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, a book by Tal Ben-Shahar

TEDx Talk with Matt Killingsworth, Want to be Happier? Stay in the moment

Learned Optimism, a book by Martin Seligman

Summary Day 4. Growth mindset, personal growth, and procrastination.

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

When you face challenging times, do you show up with the mindset that there are opportunities out there, or do you fall into old thought habits of helplessness and/or panic? If you’re stuck right now, do you stay there? How do you make a move to become, a BETTER version of yourself?

Over the last 30 years scientists have proven, that you CAN actually train your brain to adjust itself, by making positive changes in both your behavior and your environment, we can rewire our brains for happiness. Meditation is one way, so too is practicing positive psychology, habits like our gratitude practice, and our positive self-talk, ALL of which we are going to continue practicing over the next few weeks. So, hopefully, you can see that even after a few days together, all of these practices, when done together, could really exponentially support our wellbeing.

Today we’ll do some goal-setting. When you’re looking at goals that you want to achieve, the only way to truly achieve them is to be aware of the big WHY? The motivation behind them. Once you get clear with your WHY, it’s easier to keep an eye on the prize and take incremental steps towards the goal.

On your deathbed, what would you like to have accomplished? A scary BUT awesome question to guide us.

So what would you like to have accomplished? What could you change RIGHT NOW to work towards that? Who could help you with that? And what’s the first step that you could take? What would give you confidence to start on this path? So many questions, so little time. You can think more about these questions, during our exercises later. Imagine, for a moment, that you had millions of dollars and no obstacles - that’s really the best place to start dreaming from, as we don’t limit ourselves. And don’t forget that goals can be about health, relationships, education as well as careers.

We also chatted about what the biggest stumbling blocks are when it comes to goals. By getting clear on what you want, naming & writing your goals, and by breaking down large tasks and taking baby steps daily towards your goal, we maintain a laser focus on the WHY. Avoiding the pitfalls of procrastination by having a mentor and be aware of your usual barriers from finishing goals- especially lifestyle habits.

Further Resources:

TEDx Talk with Carol Dweck – Growth Mindset

Big Magic: How to Live a Creative Life, and Let Go of Your Fear, a book by Elizabeth Gilbert

Summary, Day 5 Money & happiness.

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

Financial worry and the pressure to stay current on bills can be crushing. I’m not suggesting that you can meditate, exercise or think positive thoughts this away. What I would say from personal experience, is that when life brings you to your knees, these are the tools that help you stand back up. When you breakdown in tears everyday, these are the tools that help you hang in there, and help propel you forward.

We tackled a big question today- does money make us happier? The answer is yes, and no. Our relationship between money and happiness is quite complicated. If you live in a situation where you have food scarcity or food & lodging insecurity, there is a fair chance you may have less happiness, because money affords us a feeling of safety and security, food, heat, it can buy you a level of comfort and take away struggle. So, yes, money can and does contribute to our sense of overall happiness. If you have enough money for bills, ice-cream on the weekend, clothes for kids, and the basics, it really does help us to feel balanced. And if you go from existing at poverty level income to a more middle-class income, you bet it’ll alleviate some stress and promote relief and feelings of well-being.

That said, richer countries are only slightly happier than the poor ones. We have these misconceptions about happiness and money- that a good life will be ours, once we make a fortune. However, what have learned from scientists and religions alike, is that happiness is a state of mind that you develop, rather than being a personality you are born with, or a bunch of material things you own. We tend to be happier as our income rises only to a certain point where the stress involved in making more, extra money causes our happiness to level off. So, money brings us happiness if we are making a decent living, where our basic needs & some comforts are taken care of, HOWEVER, after that, we should look elsewhere for self-love, relationship love, a sense of purpose, gratitude and inner peace. Which is why we are working on all of these in the coming weeks. A way money can bring us joy is “spending happy”. That’s the happiness that comes from giving away money – spending it for the greater good of our community, family or friends. It gives us lasting fulfillment.

And yet, despite all of our knowledge, we still all typically miswant (- or want the wrong things). Even though we are told time and time again that it’s our happiness habits rather than money, and material things that make us happy, we often dream of money, fame fortune. Rather than concentrating on a lack of, we need to focus on the abundance that is in our lives, living with a sense of sufficiency (having enough). How do you change the scarcity mindset to abundance? You guessed it- a gratitude practice. From birds to music, to sunshine- start becoming more aware of the positive abundance around you. Once you become more aware, you feel more blessed and better equipped to handle hardships.

We also tackled a subject called the negativity bias (or the powerful effect a negative experience can affect our mood and perspective). Humans have this crazy tendency to register negative things way faster than happy stuff. From insults from loved ones, to bad social interactions with colleagues, to getting cut off in traffic- we tend to dwell on them for longer. It means that we feel the hurt of an unkind word much more than we feel compliments or praise. That lingering hurt can have a negative effect on our psychological state and, subsequent behavior. In fact, for every negative interaction, we need about 3 -5 positive ones. Think about the last argument or insult you had. For you to recover, you need more laughter, positivity, love or meditation. This, this is another reason why we want you to train your brain to look for the positive and savor it when it does happen.

Further Resources:

The Soul of Money, a book by Lynne Twist

TEDx Talk- Removing Negative Self Talk | Abria Joseph

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort of Joy, a book by Sarah Ban Breathnach

Day 6 Mindfulness, anxiety & stress

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

Did you know that there’s something called, eustress (good stress)? Eustress is really helpful, and can help give us short bursts of everything that we need from adrenaline to laser focus. It helps us to take an exam, to try a new hobby, to sing a song in public. Having an anxious response at times like these can actually be good for us. It can motivate us to accomplish goals, help us focus, and help drive us to achieve our goals. Eustress is healthy stress. So next time you are a little nervous about an exam, or a date, or a presentation, remember that little tummy butterflies can actually help and are just an indication of excitement or opportunity, rather than stress.

Moving on to the more serious nerves. There’s a world of difference between having a clinical anxiety disorder, as diagnosed and treated by a doctor, and feeling anxious... at different times of our lives because of situations we find ourselves in. What we’ll be talking about today is the situational anxiety. Please see your doctor for clinical anxiety.

Between COVID and it’s after affects, race relations and politics, it’s really normal- even normal to feel anxious. We might even find ourselves catastrophizing- where EVERY little setback or upset feels like the end of the world. How does this anxiety affect the body? It releases increased levels of cortisol and adrenaline, and, other hormones, and prepares the body for battle and potential wounds. So, anxiety is quite clever and necessary when you think about. As humans, we have survived as a species by scanning our environment for potential threats- hardwired to be on our guard or anxious so that we can react quickly when the sabre-toothed tiger appears..

The problem lies when our brain, and therefore body, can’t seem to let our guard down and relax. When our flight, fight or freeze system is activated 24/7, the effects of this constant anxiety wears on our body, physically and mentally. Chronic stress over a long period of time can produce problems with heart, respiratory, digestive, immune, and central nervous systems as well as weight gain and trouble sleeping. So, while we need anxiety to keep us safe and alert, we need to learn to shut it off occasionally. What’s one of the best ways to do this? Meditation. Meditation may be just as effective as antidepressants for treating symptoms of anxiety, which is mind-blowing!

The happiest people simply focus on living in the moment. Living in the present- not living in regret or anticipation. Most of us do a particularly bad job of focusing on whatever task we are supposed to be accomplishing. About half the time, we are not concentrating on what we’re supposed to do. So if we’re losing focus and have wandering minds, what’s the best tool we have? Yep. Meditation again.

The wisdom traditions and religions of the world have known & practiced some form of quiet time for thousands of years; from quiet contemplation, to prayer, to rituals that are similar to either meditating or a mindfulness practice. And now, we have professors who have spent years researching the effects of mindfulness on the brain & body. All have concluded that, bottom line, it works.

Mindfulness is an umbrella term for things like breathwork, different types of meditations, prayer, contemplative reflection, tai chi, visualization techniques and many more, They are all designed to help our brain and nervous system find calm, to develop more relaxed breathing, to sharpen our focus and to bring about a physiological reaction to dampen our stress response. These practices have been proven to deactivate the brain nerve cells that trigger anxiety, fear, and they treat our chaotic monkey minds to some peace and quiet. At the same time, they flood our bodies and brains with serotonin, endorphins and dopamine- the happy hormones.

In our time together, we’ll do more than 21 quick meditations, with about 7 different types for you to try. The more meditation you do, the greater the effect it will have on your brain. We can train to be calmer and happier because the structure of the brain can actually be rewired and strengthened, as long as we keep practicing habits like meditation to shape our brain for the better.

Resources:

John Kabat-Zinn Talk

Mindfulness for Beginners, a book by John Kabat-Zinn

The Wandering Mind: What the Brain Does When You're Not Looking, a book by Michael Corballis

Summary Day 7, Cherishing your health and balanced lifestyle choices.

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

Todays chat focused on health, wellbeing and trying to balance it all. We focused on sleep, and nutrition.

There is a very obvious link to mental health and nutrition, but there is also evidence that WHAT and HOW we choose to eat, can boost our happiness AND lessen our anxiety. If your brain does not have the nutrients it needs, it simply can’t support you living your best life. If your body doesn’t feel as healthy as you’d like, look into making lifestyle changes like Whole 30 or the Mediterranean diet, and apps like Noom and the like can really help you be accountable. Start small and if it’s easier- replace one meal with healthy food or one habit (like soda). If you have a family, get them on board to optimize your chance of success.

For years nutritionists have advocated staying on the outside lanes of the supermarket- where the fruit, veggies and protein are, and avoiding the middle where the processed food shelves are. From Wal-mart to farmers markets, buying fresh foods (or freshly frozen) is becoming easier. There are the obvious things like eating food that has been grown locally, sitting down to the table for regular meal times, but when it comes to nutrition, small steps can lead to huge gains. Many of us have rediscovered the joy of nurturing and nourishing others during COVID and cooking real food. If you don't know how & feel overwhelmed, there are so many free classes on Youtube. In the long run, it can be much cheaper to cook at home when you stick to simple recipes.

When talking about nutrition & happiness, it's really important to address sugar, because many of us use the sweet stuff as a way to mask or diminish physical or mental pain, believe it or not. Again, try baby steps- like switching to no-calorie flavored water instead of soda and having more vegetables on your plate than carbs.

The gut/microbiome has been referred to as the second brain, because of the latest scientific research that links nutrition digestion, mood, health and depression. The microbiome consists of microbes, good & bad, in your small & large intestines. In a healthy person, the good bacteria balances out the bad. However, when medications, processed food, lifestyle choices, and too much sugar cause imbalances, we can end up with too little good, healthy bacteria. It affects our immune system AND our brains. Eating greens, and foods high in good bacteria such as natural yogurts and fermented foods that promote gut health, will help restore balance.

Hydration is something that can rally affect our mood. Sixty-four ounces or (2 litres a day) has been cited here there and everywhere. I don’t think this is enough for many of us who take medications, who work out, who live in warmer climates, who drink alcohol…, so try to figure out what works for you. Too much caffeine can feel like anxiety, which can lead to sugar or carbohydrate cravings. So, stay away from drinks loaded with caffeine & sugar. If you do feel dizzy, tired, or off-balance, adding a hydration tab with minerals and salts to your diet is not a bad idea, and only drinking 4 ounces (120ml) every 20 minutes is optimal.

There have been so many studies about sleep deprivation. Anything UNDER 7 to 8 hours of sleep, on a regular basis, and we can expect our physical AND emotional complaints go nuts. When we get a lovely nights sleep, we're much better equipped to manage depression, anxiety and stress. Insufficient sleep, may trigger mental illnesses and depression because, when you look at the science of sleep deprivation, it looks EERILY similar, to chronic stress. Sleep can be the most effective thing you can do, to reset your brain and body, for health. Our body tends to repair itself, and our brain while sleeping. It’s pretty difficult to regulate our emotions with sleep deprivation also- so we are more likely to fall apart or lose our temper when tired. And, if your sleep is bad continually, the scary stuff, like immune system disorders, heart disease, diabetes, cancer, obesity and stroke are all more likely. Yikes!

There are so many tips and rituals out there to sleeping better. Indeed, there are some great relaxation rituals you can try. Keeping a daily diary for a week or so to identify what patterns affect your sleep, is a great idea. Details like what you ate, if you exercised, what type of mood you were in, alcohol consumption, caffeine, meditation, medications, fun etc. can really pinpoint problems. Need expert help? Cognitive behavioral therapy can help with your fear of going to sleep. Talking with your doctor about trying natural sleep supplements and beyond, and investigating sleep apnea is a great idea if your sleeping is not great. And if you sleep soundly? Make sure to include this in your gratitude practice.

Social comparison is important when we talk about happiness and our body image. Nobody looks as perfect as they do in the movies or pictures. There’s incredible pressure on both women & men to look, and perform in a certain way. Knowing that these images or expectations are unrealistic and probably photoshopped or staged with beautiful lighting, is really important to our self-esteem. In reality, the BEST things that you can develop, for a healthy body image, are great communications skills, and a mad sense of humor.

Further Resources:

Sleep

Why We Sleep- Matthew Walker (author), TEDx Talk

The Nocturnal Brain, a book by Guy Leschziner

Daily Wellbeing Journal (1 page) - please see Resources. Feel free to print out for 14 days to see if you can spot any patterns to help you improve your life balance.

Nutrition:

According to Harvard Health, a 2016 review of 40 studies, published June 1, 2016, in The American Journal of Psychiatry, found evidence to support the use of SAMe, methylfolate, omega-3, and vitamin D to reduce depression symptoms. For more about happiness supplements, See resources.

The Whole30: The 30-Day Guide to Total Health and Food Freedom, a book by Dallas Hartwig and Melissa Hartwig Urban

The Blue Zones Solution: Eating and Living Like the World's Healthiest People, a book by Dan Buettner

Blossoming in the Bedroom:

Dr. Laura Berman Sex Therapist & Instructor of online courses & workshops

Weight Loss

Best weight loss plans? Keto, Paleo, low-fat, fasting, Noom, Weight Watchers, Optavia, cleansing? When it comes to nutrition and weight loss, there are so many different diets and help out there. Here are some of THE most recommended diets in terms of health, sustainability and weight loss. When it comes to nutrition and weight loss, there are so many different diets and help out there. We have additional information and resources for weight loss below. Be honest with yourself with what has, and has not, worked in the past. Do you like to follow rules? Do you like to cook? Have you time to weigh food? Does your brain rebel against being denied certain foods? Are you an all or nothing type of person? Is there a reason for your weight gain and have you solved it emotionally or physically?

Choose a diet program that can help you in the long-term and sustainably. Losing 2lbs/1 kilo a week is the healthiest and most sustainable way to lose weight. If it is that you need to lose weight when it comes to nutrition, the closer you can get to real foods in their natural state the better it is and healthier it is for you.

If you are on a diet change your mindset to not to one of scarcity but one of abundance that you could eat all of the green and healthy foods and that it is an active choice for health and a positive one rather than being denied something. Make sure your lifestyle changes include exercise, meditation and better sleep for better results AND being honest with yourself on the WHY behind the over-eating can produce more sustainable results.

Summary Day 8, Joyful movement (exercise)

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

Today, we talked about the benefits of exercise- fully and cheerfully engaging in some movement of your body that makes your soul sing. YOU, just moving your body in a way that honors where you find joy and where you are starting from today. And moving in a way that is sustainable, in other words, developing a lifestyle habit that you will have for the rest of your life.

Have you always wanted to try a dance class? Did you play soccer or basketball as a young kid, is there a league you could join? We’re talking about JOYFUL movement.

We’re not talking about weight-loss, that’s for you and your doctor to determine what’s right for you. We are addressing optimal health and a healthier lifestyle and the myriad of benefits to mindfully moving your body, every day. What we’re truly concerned about here, is increasing your happiness, because exercise will help you manufacture the happy chemicals that your body craves.

Start off gently. Move slowly. Make sure that it is joyful, fun or at least pleasant. Be honest with yourself, you probably won’t do it for more than a few weeks, if it isn’t fun. It should bump up your heart rate a little, but at the same time cause you no injuries. Check with your doctor on how THAT should look for YOUR body.

And don’t forget to tailor the choice of exercising according to your interests & needs- finances, physical and psychological. Take into account if you are going with friends, is it fun? What is it YOU need from your exercise, apart from just the fitness- do you have a social need, a pleasure need? A sense of flow or losing yourself, fun? .

Have a tough time exercising?- Watch the TEDx talks below.

Further Resources

The Joy of Movement: How exercise helps us find happiness, hope, connection, and courage, a book By Kelly McGonigal

Dr Wendy Suzuki TEDx Talk- The Brain-Changing Benefits of Exercise

Emily Balcetis, TEDx Talk- Why some people find exercise harder than others

Weight Loss

Best weight loss plans? Keto, Paleo, low-fat, fasting, the Noom App, Weight Watchers, Optavia, veggie juice cleansing? When it comes to nutrition and weight loss, there are so many different diets and help out there. Here are some of THE most recommended diets in terms of health, sustainability and weight loss. When it comes to nutrition and weight loss, there are so many different diets and help out there. Be honest with yourself with what has, and has not, worked in the past. Do you like to follow rules? Do you like to cook? Have you time to weigh food? Does your brain rebel against being denied certain foods? Are you an all or nothing type of person? Is there a reason for your weight gain and have you solved it emotionally or physically?

Choose a diet program that can help you in the long-term and sustainably. Losing 2lbs a week is the healthiest and most sustainable way to lose weight. If it is that you need to lose weight when it comes to nutrition, the closer you can get to real foods in their natural state the better it is and healthier it is for you.

If you are on a diet, change your mindset to one of abundance- you could eat all of the green and healthy foods and that it is an active choice for health and a positive one rather than being denied something. Make sure your lifestyle changes include exercise, meditation and better sleep for better results AND being honest with yourself on the WHY behind the over-eating can produce more sustainable results.

In the future, I hope to team up with a nutritionist and do a month long plan of healthy eating from shopping lists, to videos on making the simple recipes, to a folder for continuing the plan.

Summary, Day 9 Hedonism & Happy Chemicals

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

There’s no denying that wild bursts of pleasure and moments of hedonism are most delightful. They set off all kinds of wonderful happy chemicals. Everything from sex, to chocolate, to fast cars give us the short bursts of happiness we crave. We all love those, right? So, you don’t need me, to tell you how to get those surges of pleasure. I’m going to bet, that you have those all figured out. As we said, they flood our brains and bodies with some great spirit boosting hormones & chemicals, and, even better, they can reset the stress response.

The problem lies, in how our brains tend to constantly seek these get-happy-quick moments, in an effort to replicate true happiness. Drugs, alcohol and sketchy behaviors gift us with a fleeting sense of euphoria and a few hours of elevated sense of happiness. Unfortunately, once our brain recognizes this, it tends to prime us to want EVEN MORE of them- ESPECIALLY in times of sadness, stress or conflict, like we have experienced in the past few months. As humans, we tend to want more and more of what makes us feel good. Our brains get used to these “happy hits” and seek them out, rather than deal with our uncomfortable emotions or sadness. Sugar, alcohol, drugs, sex, porn. However, these feelings aren’t sustainable, neither for happiness, nor for health. And as many of you know or have experienced, they can actually lead to a crash of what little happiness you DID have,… they are short lived, and leave us wanting more.

If we’re NOT getting a feeling of serenity from meditation, or pride from mastering a skill, or joy from helping others, then you can see WHY we would turn to other, faster ways, of making up for this DEFICIT of the feel-good hormones.

We learned more about the happiness hormones, because, happiness is a question of choosing the right kind of bursts of pleasure, that are best for US. Endorphins oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine. If you want true, lasting fulfillment, we need to work on manufacturing these happiness hormones to generate improved feelings of well-being. We chatted about practices that help us make more of these- exercise, gratitude, meditation, life balance, fun….

Further Resources:

Habits of a Happy Brain: Retrain Your Brain to Boost Your Serotonin, Dopamine, Oxytocin, & Endorphin Levels, a book by Loretta Graziano Breuning

The Happiness Project author has some interesting podcasts. Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Stumbling on Happiness, a book and talk by Daniel Gilbert- TEDx Talk

Summary, Day 10 Volunteering, Spirituality, Intelligences

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

When it comes to happiness, there are countless studies that show those with a spiritual or religious practice tend to be happier than those who don’t. In fact, they also less likely to be depressed, be better able to handle life’s stresses, and are generally more resilient and less anxious.

Our chat today highlighted how having an active religious or a spiritual practice seems to give people an advantage in experiencing happiness and we talked about the reasons why. So, if you practice a religion or have a spiritual practice, good for you! And, if you don’t, developing the happiness practices and habits that we talk about over the course of our time together will help you in the pursuit of a better life.

Studies have also shown that volunteering has positive effects on depression, life satisfaction and well-being. Offering time or resources, even if it’s not money, is viewed as a precious gift by those in need. If you are in the position of being able to give of yourself, then your brain just lights up- the pleasure, trust & social connections while being of service make our happy chemicals go off the charts. Don’t know where to start? Most towns and cities have a volunteer website- check yours out.

Without honoring our true values, personality traits and characters strengths, happiness will always seem elusive and out of reach. Let’s put some time into thinking what your purpose is in life today? What is YOUR definition a life well-lived? How do you wish to shape the world- how do you wish to color it with your presence & personality? What’s your life mission? Write some words, draw it (stick figures are fine)- try to envision how you can make the most go your time here on earth.

The way to find our authentic self and our life purpose was through the discovery of our character strengths last week. What were your results last week? And how will you be using them in your life’s purpose? (if you didn’t have time last week- here is a link to Via Character Assessment again).

It would be remiss of me, when talking about life mission, not to address intelligence. Did you know that there are 9 Types of Intelligence? Today we chatted about these and asked where you fit in with all of these (here's a simple intelligences test). You may have a few types of intelligence- that’s great too. Isn’t it crazy, to think that so many people could go through life desperately trying to keep up with just 1 type of intelligence? Pairing our type of intelligence up with our main character strengths, means that we can REALLY live a life according to our BEST abilities.

Further Resources:

TEDx Talk Sir Ken Robinson-

Interested in Happiness & Leadership? Arthur C. Brooks is a Harvard Professor with tons of books & articles.

Day 11 Kindness & Compassion

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

Today we talked about kindness and its effect on the brain and happiness. Kindness, compassion and empathy, all of these wonderful social behaviors and emotions give our brains a happiness boost. Anything that we can do to reduces someone else’s pain literally activates our brains reward circuitry. Even something as simple as a random act of kindness like bringing food to a sick friend.

When it comes to compassion, though, it’s really important to understand, that it’s not the tears, or the outpouring or swell of emotions, that count. We need to take this energy and channel it into the action of caregiving or support. The fulfillment comes from the giving of one’s time, effort and resources. Empathetic distress, by the way, is where we are NOT capable of helping because of fear, or overwhelm, or helplessness. We learned that if you can't help with a natural disaster 1,000 miles away, then find something to do locally in order to feel part of the solution.

Doing something kind can calm our nervous system, yet again like meditation, gratitude practice and exercise. Scientists suggest practicing one day a week where you try and do about five acts of kindness. That is one of our exercises, once a week. The logic behind this is that you don’t dilute those feelings of pleasure, heroism and that the boost lasts all week. People are happier spending money on other people than on themselves. The great news for those of us who are not yet billionaires, is that it doesn’t necessarily matter how much you spend on others. Small acts of generosity can count towards happiness. A donation of $5 can be as effective as $500 if it is meaningful to YOU. What's your love language (or that of your partner, kids etc.)? The Five Love Languages quiz can help you connect better with the people you care about most.

Compassion & empathy often lead us to acts of kindness, however being kind to ourselves is important too. When we love ourselves, we fill up, and we have renewed, loving energy towards others, which in turn ripples out.

Further Resources:

TEDx talk by Dr. Kristin Neff, Self-compassion-

The Compassionate Instinct: The Science of Human Goodness, a book by Dacher Keltner

Summary, Day 12- Awe, and the Great Outdoors.

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

Today we talked about the science of AWE. It’s that moment where your breath is taken away- when you are moved by an experience. It’s a relatively new science, probably less than 20 years old, though obviously people have been experiencing awe since time began. Experiencing awe, gives us the feeling that our lives and stresses are pretty insignificant compared to the rest of the universe. The sensations and emotions we experience when in awe, help color our perception of the world- and our sense of kindness, altruism and connectedness to the world, are all enhanced.

So much of our lives can be spent, struggling with the boring chores of life and adulting, that when we experience something extraordinary, these bursts of awe seem to reset our mind to be more appreciate & aware of just how lucky we are. Awe rekindles our curiosity for the universe. Our brain loves green spaces or natural beauty, be it the glinting of sun on the ocean, or the majesty of mountains- these experiences fill us with a renewed reverence for the world, and ultimately reduce our stress and reduce our inflammatory system response.

Spending lots of time in the great outdoors, in green, or open spaces, is incredibly therapeutic for our mind AND body. Exposure to nature for two hours or more a week, has been proven to lower stress, lower blood pressure, and significantly impact our mood, and mental health. If you think about how many of us spend a lot of our days indoors, in front of blue computer lights and under fluorescent office lights, you can probably appreciate how getting outdoors could be beneficial.

Another of our happiness habits, is to savor good memories, recalling the good times and in a sense, reliving the traditions and the rituals that were involved in creating these wonderful memories. From celebrating everything from small wins to birthdays, traditions, give us a sense of self- how we fit into our world and how we define ourselves. We rely upon them for a sense of safety & normalcy- they help us feel certain in an uncertain world. They enrich our lives, which is why we recall some great memories in our exercises. And, today, we encourage you to think about new traditions that both you and your friends and/or family could engage in throughout the year, to enhance your life experience.

Further Resources:

Greater Good Science Center, talk on Awe, with Lani Siota- How Awe Transforms the Body and Mind

The Natural Health Service, a book by Isabel Hardman.

TEDx Talk by Dr. Nooshin Razani, Prescribing Nature for Health

Summary, Day 13 Living environments

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

Small changes can make a significant & therapeutic difference to your wellbeing. The environment inside in your current home or living space can affect your psyche, so even if your living space is just one room, or a van, try to incorporate some of the material we chatted about today, with a view to increasing your happiness.

Improving our living environment is actually now a science, and it’s called neuro-aesthetics. They study how everything from color, light, art, and the shape of the room, and the furniture, influence how we feel and the emotions we experience. How do experience your space? Do you feel at ease and calm, or do you feel lonely, overwhelmed or stressed out? Does home feel like an oasis? If our living space is a haven, then it helps our brain to turn off the survival instinct and stress hormones, and encourages us to relax. We can create healthier living environments by changing the feel of our homes, which can lead to a sense of rejuvenation and calm. You- ready to live your best life..

It may sound crazy at first, but, it’s not too hard to imagine that sitting in a warm, cozy soft chair, surrounded by pictures of great memories with our friends and families, with beautiful sunshine streaming in could make us more hopeful. In fact, Hygge is the Danish word for the elements in a home that lead to a feeling of coziness or home-iness. Creating a warm atmosphere with cozy lighting, having a fireplace (or battery operated candles) as the focal point and comfortable, soft furniture where you feel cocooned, to sheepskin rugs that you can snuggle upon... Your home needs to feel like a place of shelter from the storm- where you feel a sense of togetherness. Where family or friends (or pets) share pleasurable experiences together. Memories, like photos should brighten your house so that you are constantly reminded of good times, and savor the times of love and gratitude. It’s better for happiness, to have a balance of tidiness and minute details that evoke warm and fuzzy feelings and emotions.

Anything that doesn’t serve as a good reminder of happy times, or that isn’t used in your home or doesn’t have a good vibe, give it away. Many of us naturally come to the conclusion, that a cluttered home seems uncomfortable. Science now indicates that a messy living space can contribute to brain overwhelm – a cluttered space is reflected in feelings of anxiety and stress in your life and brain. Marie Kondo has brought decluttering to a fine art- highly recommend her information if your space is messy & disorganized. Definitely some great information to reflect on and I guarantee you, that the smallest of changes can make a big impact.

Are you living the life you want to live? (cartoon question)

• What are your intentions for the rest of your life?

• Who are you and more importantly- who do you wish to show up as? Is this vision of future you in alignment with your values and skills?

• What is your driving force- who is all of this for? What or who motivates you? Who guides you?

• Is this future life in alignment with your authentic self, and who will benefit from your actions, (will this life be of service or value to the world)?

Further Resources

Nature by Design: The Practice of Biophilic Design, a book by Stephen Keller

TEDx Talk By Dr. Esther Sternberg, Healing spaces - the science of place and well-being:

Hygge, a book by Meik Wiking

Summary, Day 14 Social connection.

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

In 2018, Dr. Vivek Murthy, who is a former surgeon general of the United States, said that the impact of the loneliness epidemic is equal to smoking 15 cigarettes a day and is actually worse than any risk associated with drinking too much, or obesity or not exercising. Loneliness is associated with a myriad of physical & mental illnesses.

After 75 years of study, researchers at Harvard concluded that the biggest impact on our happiness, is the strength of our social connections. The happiest people nurture their close relationships and invest more time and effort into connecting and socializing with friends (& family). Romantic love or intimate relationships, for sure, can bring us great happiness, however, simply enjoying the whole rainbow of our social interactions- from grocery store interaction to strangers on a bus- being around other people can bump up the happiness gauge. Just the mere fact of being around other people, means that we experience and perceive our world in a different way, in a much more positive way.

What’s a good relationship? It’s where you feel like your authentic self is more than enough, it‘s where you feel cherished and appreciated for who you are. Where you feel, seen and heard. Where you feel you are worthy of attention & love. Where you feel like your presence is important and useful. Where you are accepted, despite your flaws.

Engaging in fun activities or interactions with other people can lead to increased feelings of positivity. Happiness is irresistible and contagious- our happiness ripples out to others. Alas, many of us work from home nowadays, so many of us are disconnected by the use of technology, and have gotten used to being in our own little world. We have developed habits that socially isolate us. Unfortunately, we miss out on the human connection that we’ve had for thousands of years, and scientists have proven time and time again, that this isn’t good for us. Love, connection and relationships, truly, these are what matter most, and what we should be cherishing.

We talked today of ways to avoid feeling lonely and make better connections? Today, I invited you to reflect on what type of friends you would love in your life. How can you befriend this type of person in the future? What can you do to feel less lonely, and to nurture current relationships, to encourage, and build future friendships?

Further Resources

Why our Brains are Wired to Connect, a book by Matthew Lieberman

Harvard study- TEDx Talk with Dr. Robert Waldinger

How to Win Friends & Influence People, a book by Dale Carnegie

How to Deal with Loneliness in Today’s World (a reading): Your Options for Support

Summary, Day 15 Cultivating emotional resilience

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

Over the course of our lives, we all experience hurt, and those times of uncertainty or trauma definitely, affect us all in different ways. Yikes! Aren’t these really heavy subjects for a happiness program? Yes! The reason we touch on sadness, is that if you improve your coping skills about tough subjects like forgiveness, resilience, negative emotions, and stress- you’ll have such a better life ahead of you, with tools to rise above these challenging emotions. Without these tools, it’s difficult to move forward towards a happier state of being.

Most of us adapt or find ways to cope, over time, to our current circumstances. This is resilience. It’s the capacity that we have, to successfully move on with our lives, without relying upon negative habits or behaviors to get us through it.. If we DON’T develop resilience, that’s where the dangers of addictions, and unhealthy behaviors appear. By cultivating resilience, we can bounce back AND even experience, deep personal growth.

A certain amount of resilience is something that we are genetically born with- and hopefully, something we continue, to cultivate through life experiences. During this course, we talk about harnassing negative emotions, and how they can propel us forward to improve ourselves. Resilience is the same. It can empower us. That doesn’t mean we won’t experience sadness, anger or emotional stress. It simply means that we have faith in the resources to deal with a situation, learn from it, and move towards the future in a more productive way.

The great news is, that you can absolutely grow and cultivate your resilience, by choosing healthy behaviors- from sleep, to moving regularly, to meditation to gratitude, to fun, to living a purposeful life- (these all help support our quest to find balance…. We chatted today about strategies to develop your resilience. Many of you have heard about post traumatic stress disorder- PTSD. Many of you may have suffered from it, or some variation of it, during your lifetime. What we don’t always hear about, is that we can actually feel personal growth after trauma- post traumatic growth PTG. Scientists have observed people becoming stronger and more resilient, having dealt with adversity. Along with personal growth, hardship can often increase our humility, not to mention, compassion for others suffering the same as we have done. It can make us better people.

Change can be unsettling and downright challenging. We chatted about ways to introduce change into our daily lives, so that when we need to adapt change, we are able to deal with it. Think about everything that you have endured in your life so far and gift yourself some self-compassion. Think about what you have overcome in your life, so far, and recognize what positive lifestyle changes that have resulted from a difficult life event.

Forgiveness was another subject we broached upon today. Practicing forgiveness is one of the best ways we have to lighten our heavy emotions. Holding a grudge, can actually hurt our heart and stress levels. Holding onto the hurt and replaying it in your brain, only serves to extend the pain. It can make us bitter and mistrusting. It can affect our attitude and lives. Forgiveness is truly for your OWN state of mind. There are huge physiological and psychological benefits to forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of internal emotions like grief, anger, fear, heartache, betrayal, and replacing them with resilience and peace. Ultimately, it results in you letting go of feelings, and energy that can end up hurting you, and making a conscious decision to step away from a burden.

We thought today about how forgiveness is a verb and a practice. In our exercise today- start small. Think of relatively unimportant stuff that people you love did to upset you. Start learning to forgive this way. Make your way up to the larger upsets as you develop the forgiveness habit. As usual, if you have PTSD or trauma, make sure to see a doctor if that’s available to you. If not, please skip this until you are stronger.

Further Resources

Forgive for Good, a book by Frederic Luskin

Fred Luskin a talk (see Resources)

Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness, a book by Forrest Hanson and Rick Hanson

Resilience: Powerful Practices for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty, and Even Disaster, a book by Linda Graham

Please see Resources for help with the Forgiveness Letter

Summary, Day 16 Vulnerability and harnessing negative emotions

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

Sometimes, to find the light, we need to delve a little into the darkness. By understanding the WHY of what’s happening when we feel down, we can empower ourselves to move towards a happier life. Life brings us negative emotions- be it the death or illness of loved ones, the turmoil due to changing situations, or the heartache of relationships. Happiness isn’t a complete lack of negative emotions. There will always be moments of sadness, because... life! The trick is to embrace this wonderful life, whilst still honoring all of our emotions, even (or especially) the upsetting ones?

What we need for an overall sense of happiness, is to have tools that we can use, that help us bounce back from when we’ve suffered. That's what our daily cartoon exercises are about. Happiness is not the avoidance of pain, suffering or sadness, or even the denial of it, rather it’s being honest and authentic enough to name our sadness, to acknowledge or sit with it, and to deal with it in a manner that is healthy.

By dealing with it, we don’t mean downing a few glasses of wine and calling it good. In fact, repressing or suppressing your emotions with the usual suspects- drugs, alcohol, chocolate, shopping, denial, sex... etc. can be detrimental for our physical & mental health…. Many of us have become so used to medicating, numbing or suppressing our emotions. Today we asked you what your crutch is, (remember, no judgement here). What are the healthy coping mechanisms that you can develop?

Being vulnerable, and harnessing our negative emotions, requires us to have self-compassion. Self-compassion is accepting ourselves and our situations as they are, right now, and embracing our imperfections. When we do so, we’re better at handling mistakes that we make with less a critical, negative inner dialogue. We overcome disappointments that come our way, and deal with negative emotions, in a more productive way. People with high self-compassion, also tend to be high in self-esteem, embarrassment or failure doesn’t bother them. They've built the courage to be imperfect. People with self-compassion tend to not be self-critical and speak in a kinder way to themselves, and tend to have less anxiety and depression. They are usually more successful in life.

When you feel like you are feeling moments of panic, investigate your feelings and force yourself to get clear on what’s really bothering you. When you figure it out, sit and meditate, pray, engage in a quiet hobby or journal or create. Moving from naming your negative emotions, ask yourself what can you learn from this discomfort? Write actionable goals and steps to move past this hurt.

When it comes to our negative emotions, like jealousy, anger, resentfulness… we want to truly delve deep, as to WHY we’re experiencing these emotions. Most of our personal growth, comes from adverse experiences and our negative emotions. As long as we learn to deal with them, they can propel us towards growth and to living our best lives. Instead of carrying our negative emotions as baggage, in the form of anger, or excess weight, or insecurities, imagine using them as guidance, to rise above the discomfort and become a better version of ourselves.

We all have dealt with loss, overwhelm, uncertainty in the last couple of months. Luckily, as humans, we’re tough cookies. We’re built to be resilient and we have the internal resources to survive, if we would just be brave enough to admit to our feelings and harness them for a better future.

Further Resources

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are: Library Edition, a book by Brené Brown

I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban, a book by Malala Yousafzai

TEDx Talk Listening to Shame Dr. Brene Brown

Summary, Day 17 Self awareness and empowerment

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

If you are like most people, you are 1 person in front of your boss, another to your family, and yet another to your close friends and still another to strangers. Who is the real you? Who is your authentic self? When we didn't receive unconditional love as kids, or were criticized a lot, and, as a survival mechanism, we developed ways to hide & protect the real us to avoid the criticism. We did this, because we were led to believe that, ultimately, we weren’t good enough as we were.

Many of us spend our lives trying to be someone we’re not, which inherently creates stress, negativity and confusion within our brain. And so little by little we lose our sense of self and try to morph into someone else’s idea of how we should be. So, today, it’s time to reflect on who the real you actually is. Becoming self-aware, is understanding what makes you tick…. where your boundaries, passions, and values lie- the ability to see yourself, realistically. It’s about being self-compassionate and taking the time to delve into our mindsets and question the beliefs that have not served us for a while.

Why even bother being authentic? Well, when you show up as who you think people expect or hope you to be, instead of the real you, you may not be perceived as trustworthy. The more you embrace your true self, the easier it is to have a sense of personal identity and build your self-confidence. Our self-awareness and emotional competence allow us to be more motivated, creative conscientious, adaptable. They also help us and have self-control and to keep our emotions in check. All great things. By letting another person know, what is real about your thoughts, desires, and feelings, it allows you to build deeper relationships with them. By being the real you, you can cultivate inner peace, or to put it another way- lessen the conflict and anxiety within you.

The majority of our success in life can be traced back to our social and emotional intelligence. Our ability to connect with others- our social competence: having a genuine empathy for others. A person with high Emotional Intelligence (EI) processes life in a healthier, more compassionate way. They manage relationships better, navigate being comfortable in social situations, and creating genuine, long-lasting relationships. We chatted about helpful tips to improve your EI.

We also chatted about assertiveness and empowerment. You, your brain and your habits have the biggest influence on how you think, feel and behave. Empowerment is taking charge of your life, making the best choices you can, to transform your life and regaining control for the better. Being in the drivers seat. We can only do this when we have self-awareness and understand what is best for us. Empowerment means making positive decisions, taking initiative and following through.

Hopefully, you can see how ALL of our different happiness habits and all of the things that we’ve talked about so far, are intricately woven together. In an effort to empower ourselves, we can learn to do new things, have new experiences, take new classes, do new stuff, all in an effort to get unstuck. Learning to embrace change and actually get excited about empowering ourselves ultimately develops a strength to cope with whatever life throws at us.

Further Resources

Dr. Amit Sood, TEDx talk, Happy Brain: How to Overcome Our Neural Predispositions to Suffering

How the Mind Works (Positive Self Talk), a book by Steven Pinker

Summary Day 18 Cultivating fun, creativity, and variety

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

You can probably guess that laughter is a key element in happiness. The more humor and belly laughs we bring into our life, the more hopeful, and frankly more joyful, our perspective becomes. A good laugh brings us back to earth and helps us gain perspective of our life. It brings us back to feeling balanced and cultivates a sense of hope, that helps us feel good about ourselves and our lives.

Clearly, we need to make room for more laughing, giggling and play in our lives. Laughter and joy, like fear, are contagious. Laughter is not just about jokes, but connecting with other people, and developing deeper (more satisfying) relationships. It provides us with great memories to savor during tough times.

Today we asked what you can do in your life to bring, and share, the gift of laughter because of its tremendous social, psychological and physical benefits. Laughter helps us to process emotions- from the good, the bad to the ugly. As you could guess, there are plenty of health benefits to laughter. Everything from enhancing our immune system, to decreasing blood pressure and reducing depression and anxiety. It releases endorphins which we know are the happy chemicals, but endorphins can also relieve pain and dissipate anger too.

The great news, as we learned today, is that you can actually learn to laugh more. There are laughter classes, called simulated laughter therapy, or laughter yoga. If you are struggling and feel like you could benefit from some contagious laughter, I recommend trying it out. At the very least, it will make for a great story, and you may meet some new friends along the way.

When it comes to play, it's crazy how little play is prioritized in our life as adults. Truly, it’s one of the most under-valued and under-utilized paths to happiness and well-being. Being more playful has the same benefits as laughter. It has been proven to develop our sense of well-being, our empathy and our compassion. So! Get out there and have some fun, at work, with your friends, and in your family life. Or, start a new hobby or adopt an old one that incorporates a bit of a challenge, fun & friendship.

Speaking of play- how do you get more thrills, awe and fun in your life? Variety is the spice of life, as they say- and in order to live life to our fullest extent, we need to incorporate some new experiences in our lives. Grab some friends or family, and see what adventures you could plan that promise the thrill of uncertainty, without risking life & limb. Venture way out of your comfort zone and maybe even travel abroad. What have you always wanted to do? Trying novel things- even eating new foods, listening to other music genres, taking classes, exploring new parts of your neighborhood, ALL give us a sense of discovery, adventure and develop our creativity.

Speaking of fun or play, many of us let our creative expression dwindle as we morphed into adults, taking on responsibilities and careers. But, by increasing our creative time, where we are focused and immersed in our creative pursuits, we lose sight of our worries. Indeed, creative pastimes do wonders to boost our psychological wellbeing. Although, we often experience the surge in happiness AFTER the satisfaction of creating, the act of self-expression builds resilience, lowers stress & the production of stress hormones. Creative outlets can also compliment therapy for depression or anxiety.

Anyone can be creative- just find what activity gives you joy. Research has shown that creativity has little to do with personality type, with the materials used in creating, with the products produced, or with a particular environment. In other words, you can be creative whether you are outgoing or shy, naïve or sophisticated, impulsive or steady as a rock. Today, I asked you to expand your idea of creative looks like. The great news? It’s not just being an artist or musician.

Further Resources

Finding Your Element, a book by Ken Robinson

TEDx Talk- Dr. Peter Gray The Decline of Play

TEDx Talk How to Humor Your Stress, by Loretta LaRoche (irreverent, be warned)

Summary, Day 19 Technology and flow.

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

Things like daydreaming and watching TV, that don’t use your skills, that are passive, have all been shown to either be neutral in the creation of happiness, or actually decrease it… The opposite to these, flow- is the act of being fully engaged and absorbed in something. Flow experiences can be a powerful way to increase our happiness. They represents those times, where we’re performing an activity that is so fully engaging to us, and has us so hyper-focused, that we lose all track of time. It’s an enjoyable activity, but kinda challenging, so we’re completely absorbed, and distractions don’t bother us. It’s the complete opposite to boredom and lethargy. Today we chatted about how can increase our flow?

Flow, can be found, when we are actively doing something. Challenging ourselves and getting a kick out of seeing our skills improve and progress. It can be adventuring, gardening, practicing yoga, surfing, boarding, playing music, painting…flying, or, if you’re lucky.. work. Whether It’s cooking an elaborate recipe, or tinkering with a car engine, it has been shown to bring us happiness. Flow gives us a sense of mastery or pride in life- like we’re working towards something that is of value to us. Flow gives us a sense of competence and satisfaction. And, as a bonus, that laser-focus on the task means that we are NOT consciously thinking of worries or stresses.

If you don’t think you experience flow in your life, or in your job, take another peek at what your character strengths are again, and what you want from life and what your interests are. Then, see if you can find some hobbies, where you can incorporate all of these.

Guess what has been interrupting our concentration and flow over the last few years? Yea- technology. Before I say more- you get to KEEP your phone. There has been an onslaught of blogs and articles, telling us how bad technology is for our mental health- leading to isolation, disconnection with each other, and distraction. So much information, images and videos. Our brains are not used to dealing with this. It comes as no surprise then, to hear so many experts talking about taking a technology break. A fast. As in, zero screen time, whatsoever. No texts, no social media and no checking work email. All you have to do, is be consciously present. It’s pretty amazing and a little disconcerting, to acknowledge the number of times we reach for our phone, and how this correlates with anxiety and not feeling happy. Don’t take my word for it- try it out for yourself.

However, as we’ve gone through the pandemic and its aftereffects, I think we’ve really seen the inherent goodness and power of technology. It saved a lot of us. It connected us. Between online courses, Zoom, Skype, and FaceTime during physical distancing, our phones have been indispensable. Technology, is, amazing- as long as you actively manage your behavior towards it. It can help us be happier and feel more connected to those who are far away. It can help us achieve our goals- between online education, learning hobbies on YouTube, or listening to podcasts or music. What we simply have to be very aware of, is how much time we spend in front of our screens, how often they distract us from life in general and the flow we need, and what we’re exposing our brains to. We discussed today what strategies we could adopt in an effort to achieve balance, and, be more mindful and intentional about our use of phones and technology in general. Technology has the capability to compound the emotions we’re feeling, so becoming more aware of our levels of joy, anxiety, self-esteem and stress is the key to managing how we use our smartphones to our best advantage.

Further Resources

TEDx talk by Dr. Rick Hanson, Hardwiring Happiness (also a book)

The Brain that changes itself, a book by Norman Doidge, M.D.

TEDX talk by Amy Blankson, The Future of Happiness: Getting Unstuck in the Digital Era

Summary Day 20 Cutting Edge Therapies for Well-being & Happiness

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

From food eliminations, to yoga, to our microbiome, to forest bathing, the list goes on. As our program comes to an end, I chatted about a few new, or newly re-emerged, therapies that I’ve been fascinated by.

Many psychotropic or mind-altering drugs became illegal in the early 70’s. However, scientists continued to study them in a controlled, guided, measured and safe environment with qualified professionals, because of the amazing results they were getting with mental wellbeing.* There has been a resurgence of studies on psychotropic drugs, and how they can be used in the treatment of addictions, PTSD and other disorders. There are great hopes for the ability of medical grade psychedelic medicine to help eating disorders, addictions and obsessions as well as depression. I think the next few years we’ll see these drugs being used in doctor offices as they are made medically legal.**

One of the most interesting things from all of these studies, is that when scientists looked at brain activity of people taking psilocybin AND the brains of experienced meditators, side by side- the fMRI’s (brain scans) look remarkably alike. So, meditating, if practiced regularly can also bring about changes in our brains- for the better. Meditation, sensory deprivation tanks, fasting, prayer, overwhelming experiences of awe and transformational breathing may all provide us with at least a watered-down version of an altered stream of consciousness.

Transformational breathwork, or rejuvenating breathing techniques are gaining popularity again, though originally developed in the 50’s & 60’s. They are not just deep breathing like a meditation. Transformational breathing uses what’s called diaphragmatic breath techniques. It helps us breathe more effectively and benefits our whole respiratory system, by increasing our oxygen levels and our breathing capacity. By changing our inefficient shallow breathing patterns, we allow more oxygen into our lungs and body. It’s an intense breathing experience, and you can get all types of strange sensations in your body. Practitioners believe that old traumas and unexpressed emotions and negative memories can be let go. Lots of people experience physical, mental and spiritual healing. As usual, I would only attend a class with a qualified & experienced breathwork professional.

Something that you may not have heard about, is the vagus nerve that comes out of the brainstem and travels to various vital organs in the body, keeping our bodies healthy. The vagus nerve has a huge influence on the brain- sending signals to the brain to release chemicals and to help us recover from stress & injury. But, more importantly for happiness, it also triggers our brain to release chemicals that calm our immune system- which is especially important if we have chronic diseases & high inflammation. It can help with conditions such as inflammatory bowel disease, epilepsy... rheumatoid arthritis, and many other common ailments. Scientists also suspect that strengthening our vagal tone can also help with depression and anxiety. Today, we outlined some ways to improve our vagal tone.

And then we tackled marijuana- specifically CBD. Many people have used some form of marijuana for relaxation and improving their physical, emotional and mental health for years. Just like wine or whiskey, marijuana can give us that burst of pleasure, or hedonistic experience that we love. As it’s still illegal in many places and countries, we’re just going to concentrate on the healing power of a compound IN marijuana called cannabidiol or CBD. To be clear, CBD does NOT contain psycho-active properties. IN other words it doesn’t get you high. Any therapy that dampens the stress response, calms our nervous system and encourages relaxation, had great potential, because, chronic diseases are exacerbated by, or even caused by stress. We hope to see more and more high grade, high dose, medical CBD in the future. For depression and or any kind of mental illness…… as usual, talk to your doctor.

Marijuana, and psychotropic drugs and transformational breathing can bring on distressing episodes, so, when it comes to happiness, I would be wary of their use and would get doctors approval. IF you have suffered psychotic or depressive episodes in the past or if someone in your family has, talk with your doctor about your medical history and the risks.

Cold water immersion therapy is also said to improve our overall health. Hydrotherapy- (water therapy) has been widely used to improve health for thousands of years to decrease tension, pain, fatigue, and to improve memory, negative moods, and general well-being. Indeed, many cultures have traditions of going from warm to cold- saunas to snow, to improve vitality and general health. But now science has figured out the WHY behind this. It is said to improve our circulation and our heart health, it can reduce our stress and us boost our happiness giving us a natural high, with a boost of dopamine, it can reduce pain and swelling, and can help the lymphatic drainage system, which helps our immune system. Our bodies produce more white blood cells to help us fight infection. We can experience reduced pain, and increased metabolism. Taking a shower or a bath in cold water, instead of swimming is said to produce similar effects. The benefits are compelling, but it isn’t for the faint of heart, literally. If you’ve ever jumped into cold water, it feels like your heart will explode. I would absolutely recommend that you get your doctors approval, before trying this. Common sense suggests going from a hot showers to a warm blast, to cold for 30 seconds and gradually building up, which seems much more prudent and doable, than just jumping into icy cold water... And if you can't bear the cold shower, even dunking your face in a bowl of cold water every morning may bring on some health benefits.

*So there you have it, new and exciting ways to improve our well-being and happiness in the future. Please be advised that these discussions are simply introducing new therapies that are being researched and on our horizon. Under no circumstances are these endorsements. All of these therapies have to be done under the guidance of a medical doctor who has experience in such treatments AND with the blessing of your own personal, general practitioner doctor.

**These discussions are not an invitation for people to take magic mushrooms or similar mind altering substances. Any chemical, natural or otherwise, has the potential to harm or cure. We are ONLY advocates of researching these substances legally, in controlled environments under the care of a qualified, registered doctors of medicine or psychotherapy using medicine approved by the FDA. Our hope is that the science behind these new therapies be allowed to flourish and heal people in the future.

Further Resources

Flow, a book by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence, a book by Michael Pollan

TEDx talk, Cold Shower Therapy by Joel Runyon

Summary Day 21 Recap of what we learned together.

Copyright- A Wee Bit Happier 2020

You made it! Well done. As you may have guessed, EACH of these subjects that we touched on, could have their own full course. My goal was simply to get you started on thinking about the MANY aspects to living a happier life. I hope this course has given you some things to reflect on, on your quest to being a wee bit happier.

I think the hardest thing to understand about happiness, is that it isn’t an exact formula. It’s not 10% gratitude, 15% mindfulness, and 27% purpose. It really is different for everyone. It depends on your brain, your health, your personality, your character values, your life experience so far and just a little on your current circumstances. So, as you have completed the daily happiness habits and exercises, hopefully, you'll see what works for you and where you personally need to improve.

Continue to do the practices that have worked best, for YOU. When it comes to difficult situations throughout your life, using these happiness skills can help you bounce back. And when it comes to joyous occasions, being present, mindful and grateful will help you forge memories to savor as you go through life.

What were the common themes woven throughout the last few days together?

Friendships and relationships should be THE top priority in developing your happiness. If you feel lonely, ironically, you are not alone- there are millions just like you, waiting for friendship. Join clubs, volunteer, reconnect with old friends. Make your own club or group. Be brave and get out there!

Meditation and mindfulness can reset our brains, to turn off the stress response. A state of constant stress, or chronic stress, causes anxiety and floods our body with hormones that put us on high alert. When this happens constantly, we are in danger of having inflammatory problems like anxiety, pain and immune disorders. This is why giving our brains some quiet time is so, so important. Long term, habits like meditation, a gratitude practice and positive reframing and positive self-talk, actually train our brains to have a more positive outlook- we gain a sunnier disposition.

Money doesn’t buy us happiness, though it can make life easier. If earning a higher salary doesn’t allow us time with family and having fun and frolics, and only serves to increases our stress, then we see that money doesn't actually buy us more happiness. Right now in this current climate, adopting habits such as walking and making an effort to smile more, being aware of what you are grateful for, volunteering, being with friends and meditation are all Free!!! Freeeeee! Just do it.

Resilience is really important to happiness- it’s the ability to bounce back when life is tough. Having skills, and building skills to go with the flow, and adapt to life’s changes- gives you back a feeling of being able to cope, and having control to make the choice that’s best for your future. Having hobbies, building better relationships, living a healthier lifestyle, trying new things, all contribute to our ability to be mentally stronger.

Life balance- moving in a fun way for 20-30 minutes every day, improving our sleep habits to sleep at least 7 hours a day, and eating more nutritious meals, are all inextricably linked to happiness. We can’t have one without the other. Our physical health really affects our ability to stay positive. Buddy up, get the household & friends on board, share how you are struggling & how you need their help for success.

Gratitude & positive thinking will just change your life. I swear. This one habit just changes your perspective so much, that everyone around you changes in response to your attitude. Your positive outlook just helps you go with the flow and roll with the punches. It brings you a more joyous life. The burdens & grudges are lighter (and easier to let go).

Using character strengths, is one of the absolute TOP things we can do, to live a more meaningful life- where we have a purpose, and we feel like we are doing our best. Incorporating your strengths and using your type of intelligence in your life daily, means that you are living in a more authentic way, and that you become happier because you are behaving in a way that is true to your nature and skillset. Spending time developing skills like self-esteem, and becoming more self-aware are great for your happiness too. Building your emotional intelligence means that friendships and careers will be significantly easier to build, manage and develop. In fact, remember we said that your emotional intelligence, is significantly more important than your IQ for career & life success.

Reaching goals & personal growth are tantamount to success. A life well lived, and a happier life, is one where you feel like you moved forward and improved yourself, every year. Write those goals, make the vision board, if you are a procrastinator, investigate your old patterns and look at why you did not find success with past goals. Learn where your stumbling blocks typically are and change your strategy to manage them. Have a plan for when you fail to get back on track. Get a mentor or join a group to be accountable to. Break your goals down to be manageable. Make those steps small, and celebrate the small wins. Most of us get overwhelmed with big goals- remember- one day at a time.

Be conscious of how our living & working environments affect our mood. Where possible, incorporate plants, wood, natural light where you live. If you don’t have these luxuries- what can you do to bring in posters, pictures, elements of nature to nurture your living space and make it feel like a special sanctuary for you? Get out into our parks and into nature. Look at the sky, look closely at flowers- develop a sense of awe and reverence for the world around us. AWE, like gratitude just changes our whole perspective and gifts us back our curiosity for the world.

Bursts of pleasure, play, fun, thrills, laughter! Pack your life with them. Just know that pleasure is only a part of happiness. We do need purpose, and pride in what we are contributing to life also. And buy experiences for fun, versus things or material goods.

Be kinder & more compassionate to everyone. Again, your life will change. You’ll find yourself smiling at… nothing in particular. Just smiling because life is good, and so are you. If someone needs something, and you’re in a position to help. Do it. You’ll benefit from giving of your time, goods or physical help, as WELL as changing their lives. Volunteer or be of service- it changes your focus away from yourself.

Use negative emotions to be more self aware and change yourself for the better. Forgive. Forgive yourself, or others & move on. When you know better, you do better. Just do better. Be aware of numbing or medicating your worries away. Face your problems and negative emotions by naming them, and letting yourself feel the emotions. Open up- be vulnerable- share your story with appropriate friends or get a therapist. Leave shame beyond. Use our happiness habits to move out of the sadness, and towards hope.

Technology? Use it to your advantage. Just be aware of the detrimental effects to your focus and ability to work in an uninterrupted way. Be aware of it’s impact on your flow. Be mindful of your use of social media- it's a fantastic tool, however, you should have a strategy to use it, so that is fun, and a good influence on your brain and ultimately your life satisfaction.

If you suffer from depression or anxiety and medication and your happiness habits aren't enough, with the guidance of your doctor, investigate new, complementary therapies and medications.

Importantly, don’t be afraid to continually reevaluate your life. Your needs, wants, aspirations and situations at age 20 are completely different to when you’re 30, and different again when you are 50, and at 70. Learn to flow with change and embrace and initiate it.

Planning Your Best Life- is todays printable exercise to compliment the information we chatted about. It is a great culmination of everything we have talked about. See downloads (right hand side).

Stay in touch with us, and don’t forget to post pictures of you having fun, in awe, moving, out in green spaces, writing your gratitude list, being with friends using the #AWeeBitHappier (give us a follow on Fb or IG- we promise not to over post)…. Share with us the changes you’ve made. We’d love to hear from you! Keep using what you have learned here and be well. It has been my absolute pleasure to guide you.

Go n’eiri an bother libh- May the road rise with you!

Further Resources

The Art of Happiness, a book by the 14th Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler

The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living, a book by Russ Harris

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, a book by Eckhart Tolle