The Art&Science of Networking: Build Meaningful Connections

To be successful in networking and Building Meaningful Connections, you need to develop the right mindset.

Adopt a Growth Mindset.

Make it about the other person.

Focus on Progress versus Perfection.

Easier said than done, and take some time to make your mental fitness part of your daily routine.

Watch the video to learn more!

Are you an introvert or shy? Or just new or need some practice?

Often times the labels you give yourself have an effect on your behaviour.

What if you are not introverted and just new? 

The first time you do most things, you are a bit nervous and probably not that good.

With practice, you build more confidence.

We share some exercises on how to practice and improve!

Watch the video to learn more!

What's the answer to every "How to Network" question?
Care!

Treat the other person as a person!

Be curious, interested and look to add value and opportunities will come to you!

Watch the video to learn more

When connecting with folks, making connections more meaningful can often be just a matter of perspective.

What is you considered the other person as a:

• Time traveller

• Detective

• Role model

• Teacher

How would the conversation be different?

Also consider that online vs in-person interactions are different, but also very similar as well.

Watch the video to learn more!

When it comes to CONNECTIONS start with WHO you should connect with end WHERE

WHO: Do a "network audit"

• Work: Manager, Team, Clients, “down-stream”, “up-stream”, Peers, Skip-levels, Seniors/Executives, Vendors, Industry/Domain “influencers”, Anyone of interest

• FRANK: Friends, Relatives, Acquaintances, Neighbours, Kids

• YHIRA (HAIRY): You (in the job you want), Hiring managers, “Influencers”, Recruiters, Anyone of interest

WHERE

• Events: EventBrite, Meetup, interest groups, community groups, etc.

• Online: LinkedIn, forums, email

• Everyday: Retail, restaurants, services, etc.

Watch the video to learn more!

Fill in the Network Audit worksheet to get started on who to connect to.

Before you connect, take some time to prepare with a few self awareness exercises.

From your past experiences, plan your “LEGO BLOCKS”.

What stories could you tell about:

• Most recent experience

• What you are most proud of?

• What you are best known for?

• What you are interested in?

• What you are most looking forward to do?

Watch the video to learn more!

In addition to your research, consider preparing your name introduction, your elevator pitch and a few conversation starters

For you name, leverage something from Pop Culture, Sounds-like/Rhyming, Meaning,  or something else memorable!

For you “Elevator pitch”, what 3 things do you want people to know about you?

You can use formulas like

• Problem-Solution Formula

• Challenge-Action-Result

• Passion-Expertise-Value

• Question-Need-Solution

Or whatever you want!

Here are a few Conversation starters:

• I’d love to learn more about you!

• What do you enjoy about what you do?

• What did you do that was interesting earlier today?

• How did you learn about this event?

Watch the video to learn more!

LinkedIn has a feature to send a connection message with your request.

ALWAYS send one!

You can use AI to brainstorm, though make the sure you make it personal for you.

Here's a prompt to get you start

Create a personalized LinkedIn connection message for this profile "<copy paste profile information>"

Watch the video to learn more!

When connecting with folks, you can't expect everyone to respond.

I have the 10-6/3/1 rule:

When you connect with 10 people

6 will ignore you

3 will say no

1 will change your life!

Watch the video to learn more!

As you move from making connections , coffee chats are one of the best ways to making them more meaningful.

When do you ask for one?

First build some rapport.

How do you ask for one?

Just ask!

Watch the video to learn more!

To make a connection more meaningful, we explore a few concepts

• Moving Small Talk → “Big Talk”: Be Interested vs Interesting

• Be Curious and Listen! Make it about them, not you!

• Conversational threading: let them learn a bit about you as you learn about them

• Value: “How can I help with that?”

• Reflect, learn and improve!

Watch the video to learn more!

When making a connection more meaningful, you'll be having conversations with folks.

The more you prepare, the better the conversation will be, and the more meaningful the connection will become.

Just like preparing to make connections, take time to prepare for conversations.

Research

• Why were you interested to connect in the first place?

• Focus on professional: background, journey, goals, advice, resources, courses, certifications, etc.

• Sent questions/topics beforehand

• Discuss personal?

Goals and Action Items

• Before the conversation ends, what do you want to make sure you do, have answered?

PRACTICE and improve!

• Everyday and in smaller stakes situations

• Know that you can do it!

Watch the video to learn more!

Make the most out of events and learn to have engaging conversations.

Research and prepare

• Pre-connect with folks prior to the events

Set Goals

• Benchmark: 1 contact every 10-15 mins

Logistics

• Go early, stay late

• Find High traffic areas so that people come to you

Follow up: The most important part!

• Notes + Calendarize future engagement

Watch the video to learn more!

Conversations often start with Small talk, and need to evolve into "Big Talk".

Helpful tips to improve your Small talk (Breadth conversations - remember it's about rapport building)

• HEFE: Hobbies, Entertainment, Food, Environment

• FORD: Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams

• Advanced rapport building: Matching and Mirroring

  
  

To get beyond small talk, LISTEN and move towards “big talk” (Depth conversations)

• Emotions: curiosity, interest, excitement

• Open ended questions

Watch the video to learn more!

When engaging in a conversation, avoid the "interrogation" where you area just asking questions.

Be sure to add some of your insights and share a bit about yourself.

A few useful phrases: 

• “I did that as well…”

• “I did something similar…”

• “I haven’t done that before, BUT that’s interesting, please tell me more!”

• “That reminds me of…”

Watch the video to learn more!

During the conversation ask yourself "How can I help with that?".

Initially, you might not be able to think of anything, and consider adding value with ARCS-T:

• Attention

• Resources

• Connections

• Skills

• Time

Watch the video to learn more!

Considering practicing your listening.

Listening is an underrated part of communication.

Be aware of different levels of listening

1. Self: waiting to speak

2. Content: I can repeat everything you said

3. Context: the emotions involved

4. Meaning: what relevant and is not being said

5. Understanding: validate and confirm

Be sure to practice "Active Listening". Practice behaviours like

• Eye contact

• Reinforcement

• Reflection, Clarification, Summarization

• BE PRESENT!

Watch the video to learn more!

After EVERY conversation, take some time to reflect and learn.

Ask yourself these questions:

• What did I do well?

• What could I do better/differently?

• When will I do both the next time?

Watch the video to learn more!

Relationships take time to build.

Some will be "fast friends" where it seems like you really "click" and feel like you could speak to them forever.

For most folks, you'll have to cultivate the relationship over time.

Consider allocating time and scheduling time to follow up

Be sure to take notes after your conversations.

You might even want to set up a personal CRM (Customer Relationship Management system) with  notifications. Or just put the information on an excel/google sheet to take a look at later on

Take some time to Calendarize and you can cultivate those relationship daily, at least weekly .

For new relationships, how many can you progress to a Coffee/Virtual chat?

Take some time to check-in and share an update on what you've been doing, and as for an update from them.

Also consider doing a Value Brainstorm: “How can I help with that?”

Remember ARCS-T: Attention, Resources, Connections, Skills, Time

Be sure to make “5-minute favours” a habit.

And of course, take some time to reflect, learn and improve!

Watch the video to learn more!

When it comes to networking, you can level up your relationships.

Consider the various levels.

1. Contact: Just met and/or have their contact info

2. Acquaintance: Few messages exchanged

3. Casual connection: Multiple messages over time, coffee/virtual chat, some value exchanged

4. Colleague/Professional friend: Value provided, they look for opportunities for you

5. Friend: in-person/synchronous communication with regular follow-up and value exchanged

Watch the video to learn more!

In my experience, adding value and giving before you receive has been the best way to nurture and cultivate relationships.

Taking time to do a value brainstorm can be helpful.

Using ARCS-T, consider:

• Attention: Spend time asking questions, and being curious and interested. Further the interactions to coffee-chats. You can also engaging with posts on their social media.

• Resources: Did/Can you find a blog, video, podcast, app, something that would be of value to them? You can also think of what added value to you in the past few days/weeks and send it to 3-5 or more people.

• Connections: Who do you know that would be beneficial to them? Did you have a recent conversation where people were speaking about similar things? Do you think they'd have an interesting conversation.

• Skills: What can you do that would be of value to them? Research/Collect/Analyze, Prototype/Build - This is where you have the most flexibility and showcase the value with the skills and experience that you currently have. Be creative!

• Time: Can you spend an hour / afternoon / day / weekend to find any of the above to be of value to them?

Watch the video to learn more!

We've covered a lot in the course from:

• What is networking and Why network?

• To what are Networking foundations: Build Meaningful Connections

• Then a deep dive into Mindset: CARE, Perspectives

• Connection: Network Audit, Ice-breakers

• Meaningful: Conversational threading, Curiosity

• Build: Scheduling, Value Brainstorm

Watch the video to learn more!

A recorded LIVE session at the HRPA Durham in April 2018. Not all topics were covered as the session was shorter and higher level. 

Welcome to the Art & Science of Networking. Part of the FOCUS inspired SIWIKE: Stuff I Wish I Knew Earlier series of learning programs. In this course, we will provide you with strategic and tactical tips on how to turn networking into building meaningful connections.

I’m your instructor, Luki Danukarjanto and I will share my story of moving from a shy introverted computer scientist to becoming a leader in a management consulting firm and eventually becoming a career coach to empower others to reach their career potential.

We will walk through, Why networking is so important, What is the BMC or Build Meaningful Connections approach to networking, and How to execute on the BMC approach.

We will go through tactical tips down to the mechanics of networking as well as strategic tips on leveraging your new-found BMC skills to achieve career success.

Thanks and we’ll see you in the next segment

Music: https://www.bensound.com/royalty-free-music

I’d like to take a few moments to introduce myself. My name is Luki Danukarjanto the founder of FOCUS inspired. I grew up on to Toronto, Canada where I completed a degree in computer science. I ended up in a management consulting firm starting as a developer and eventually moving my way up to lead a practice area of about 25 people with several million dollar accounts and projects.

And why a lot of millennials want to speak to me is that I used to run the undergrad campus recruiting program. Which meant that from 2008 to about 2015 when I left, I literally had the list that said yes or no to anyone that was hired out of the universities across Canada.

Things were going well. I was a senior manager and next step would have been partner. Which was C-level equivalent. So why the switch? The simple answer is family.

I did a lot of travelling as a consultant and we had a second kid on the way. And I didn’t feel I could become a partner while having a family and doing both justice.

I did a lot of soul-searching, self-reflecting and speaking to mentors to find out what I loved doing and that ended up being helping others reach their potential.

Fast forward to today, my goal is to weave mentorship into the fabric of society. I’ve coined the word SIWIKE Stuff I Wish I Knew Earlier, which is basically what a mentor shares. I wrote a book on the subject with hopefully many more editions to come. And I help higher education institutes, youth organizations and companies help unlock the career potential of the students, members and employees that make them up.

One of the biggest SIWIKE that I have is about relationships and their importance. So let’s dive into the next section and learn about the importance of networking.

Music: https://www.bensound.com/royalty-free-music

The framework I like to use for Career Success has it made up of 2 things: Results and Relationships.

Results are what most people focus on. The money, titles, and experiences. However the second part of the equation of Relationships is often ignored. And the equation purposely has an x as Relationships become a multiplier for the results that you have. 

Let's explore more on both

Results are often what is celebrated for career success. When you're a student it's your education and your GPA. When you're in the workforce it becomes your titles, responsibilities and promotions. There are also the clubs and associations you're part of. The volunteer work you've done. Your awards. And even your interests and hobbies. It's important to note to not just do activities, and to also have achievements. Activities are "what you've done". Achievements are "How well you've done them". So as you are getting the results, make sure you take a moment to consider how well you can demonstrate you're doing it. 

Relationships are a multiplier for your results. I use the thought exercise to illustrate this. Think about the saying: "if a tree falls in forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?" If you've heard it before then you can relate to the profound thoughts. If you haven't, take a moment to ponder it. A tree falls. Makes a boom. But if no one is there, does it actually?

I twist the expression a little bit and say: "if you did a good job and no one knows about it, did you really?". You tidy up the supply room and no on notices. You great the most brilliant research report and no one reads it. However, one person finds our or you tell a person and they acknowledge the good work. Then they tell someone else, and they tell someone, and so on. Soon you've developed a reputation for good work. 

Relationships can magnify the results you achieve. 

Here's another scenario that may help you understand the importance of relationships. You need to get something done and need to select someone to help you. The task could be anything from producing a report to executing an entire project to anything in between. You have two people to choose from that basically have the same qualifications. In essence their resumes are identical. The only difference is that one is a random person, and one is a colleague. A colleague is someone that you've worked with and you know them to be able to get work done. Who do you pick?

How about an acquaintance? someone you haven't worked with but you've had positive interactions with. Remember, they are otherwise equally qualified candidates. 

How about the colleague of a colleague? you don't know them but a colleague you've worked with before vouches for them. Again, equally qualified candidates.

How about the acquaintance of a colleague? your colleague haven't worked with them, but they've had positive interactions with them. Still equally qualified candidates. 

You can see from this scenario that is sucks to be a random person!

Relationships are an investment in your future. Here's a scenario to consider. 

Think about the last new person you met. You didn't know them previously. They could have been from work, from volunteer, or just a random person you met on the bus. Now imagine that you stay in contact with them over the next 6 months. Seeing how they are doing, what they are up to and how you could be of help. And you stay connected with them every few months for the next 16 years. Once in a while sending them some helpful resources, connecting them with people that would be useful to them, or otherwise just being helpful. And you keep doing that for the next 26 years, and 36 years. 

Now imagine that person gets promoted to senior manager of a company that you want to work for in about 6 years. And that same person gets promoted to Director of another company you want to work for in 16 years. And to VP of a company that you want to work with in 26 years. Then chief X officer at yet another company that peaks your interest. What sort of doors could they have opened for you, and doors you could have opened for them. 

Investing in relationships can pay dividends in the future with small investments over time. 

The Wall Street Journal reports that 80% of jobs are not posted online. If that statistic is true, that means for every job that is posted on a job board, there are 4 others that never make it online. 

If you think about it, that statistic could make sense. Think about it, if you were hiring manager looking for someone skilled to add to your team, what's the first thing you do? Probably not post online. Instead ask your colleagues, your friends if they know someone that could fit the description. That person comes in for a few interviews, and then gets an offer. No job posting. What might make it even worse is that some companies and industries have legal requirements for posting jobs, and meanwhile there is someone already in late stage interviews. You applying online have a tough time demonstrating your value in that situation. 

There are also statistics that that as much as 75% of applicants come through online channels. So that translates to 75% of applicants applying to 20% of jobs. Wouldn't you rather be part of the 25% getting access to the 80% of jobs? 

Wall Street Journal Article: https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424127887323869604578368733437346820

Source from collegerecruiter.com https://www.collegerecruiter.com/blog/2013/03/28/80-of-job-openings-are-unadvertised/ 

Traditional networking isn't sustainable. In traditional networking, you are told to do informational interview with people to learn about their jobs. To ask for help reviewing your resume. To ask them to connect you with other people and refer you for the job posting. Each time you do so, you accumulate a bit of credit and debt. When will you ever pay back that debt?

Now if you approach networking like a debit card and make deposits over time, then you'll find yourself being much more successful. You meet with someone and just learn their story and are authentically curious about them. You let them talk about their favourite subject: themselves. Then you connect them a person you know that could help. You share some articles and resources that would be useful. You take the time to help them and add value. Each time is a small deposit in their social capital bank account. You might never have to withdraw, and if you do, then the capital is there.

The approach to networking is what I call BMC = Build Meaningful Connections. We'll walk through the tactics to BMC in later sections. 

What is the BMC = Build Meaningful Connections approach to networking? It starts at the back by making Connections. Then making them Meaningful. And then Building on them. Connections Meaningful Build didn't sound as catchy so I reversed it. What the BMC approach does, let's say in the case of job hunting, is to network NOT to get a job. Instead to network to be curious, interested and add value. And by doing so, then the jobs come to you. 

Let's get into the tactical steps starting with making connections. 

Making connections starts by taking every opportunity to connect. On the bus/subway/train, waiting in line, in elevators. For the shy introverts this may seem daunting, and I can attest that the journey is not that difficult. I used to identify myself as a shy introvert. I was the stereotypical computer scientist in the corner of the room thinking that my code would speak for itself and that people were not that important. However, over the past few years, my eyes have been opened to the power of relationships and building meaningful connections. Now I consider myself an outgoing introvert. I can speak in front of hundreds of people, and am an effective networker, however afterwards, I have often drained my "outgoing reserves" and need to recover as that is not naturally me. Building meaningful connections is such an important skill to develop and it's never too late to start.  

Get past your connection anxiety. You can practice your "network pick up lines" (similar to the dating scene). And most important BMC as you and picking to tools and techniques that work for you. 

When networking, one important note is not necessarily about who you know, but more importantly who knows you! The first way that is important for them to know you is to know your name. Make your introduction memorable. I like to introduce myself as Luki, that's Luke with an i or Loki with a u. I call myself Loki's less mischievous second cousin. So you relate it to a cultural phenomenon like the Avengers. It's silly and it works. 

If you have a more common name, it can work just as well. A student I met was named Judy, "like the judge". Some of you might not get the reference, but there was a show called "Judge Judy" that was popular during daytime television. I never forgot her. If you have a more ethnic sounding name, that can work. Another student's name was Dulangi "like Jumanji". Now it works because the movie was out recently, but it's still well enough known in pop-culture that the introduction could work for years to come. 

You also want to start getting comfortable with "Networking pick up lines". Yes, it's a thing, and just like the dating scene, it can help break the ice and help you engage in conversation. Some tried and true ones are "What brings you to this event?", "What were you up to earlier in the day?", "What are some interesting projects you're working on?" and many more. Google them. Pick a few to try. Keep using the ones that you feel comfortable with. Continue try and get comfortable "picking up" contacts and business leads on the professional networking scene. 

Here are some tactics for you to consider implementing to improve your connection skills:

• Prioritize
• Set networking goals
• Do a “network audit”
• Create a strategic plan
• Be early to / stay late for meetings
• Smile and say hello
• Bring treats 
• “Never eat lunch alone” 
• “Wing person”

Now that you're getting more confident in connecting with people, where should you connect? the short answer is anywhere and everywhere. Connect online. Connect at work. Connect in class, clubs, interest groups. Anywhere and everywhere!

Doing a network audit will help you determine where your gaps might be for people who you might want to connect with. Take a look at

• Current group / location
• Skip levels?
• Upstream / downstream groups
• Administration groups
• Departments-of-interest
• Industry / function
• Former colleagues

Also take a look at different levels for those that are:

• Above
• Beside
• Below

where you are. 

Here are a few SIWIKE challenges to help you improve your skills in building connections:

• For the extremely shy
  • Smile (get 10 people to smile back)
  • Say hello (get 10 people to say hello back)
  • Say how are you (get 10 people to respond back)
  • Engage in a full conversation
• Daily
  
  • Connect with 1 random person
  • Connect with 1 strategic person
  • Reconnect with 1 person

As you make more connections, you will want to improve the quality of those connections to make them more meaningful. You can start by getting prepared. Practising your own responses to your networking pick up lines would be helpful. Practising your answer to the "Tell me about yourself" or "What do you do" question would also be advised. You can also do some research on the event and the people that might be involved. Some topics that might be useful to discuss. Backgrounds about the people attending so you can prepare some good questions. Helping yourself be more comfortable at the event. 

When you're at the event itself, you'll want to be curious. Be interestED instead of interestING. Learning more about the people you're speaking to. Sharing your insights where relevant, then turning the conversation more to them. 

Being observant and noticing about their physical appearance or the words and things they've said. They can all help you make a more meaningful connection.

Connections become more meaningful through dialogue and conversation. I am not a natural conversationalist, though I've learned a few tips and tricks that have immensely helped me through out the years. If you think about conversation as a tennis match where you're asking a question and hitting the ball over the net, and the other person does the same, then you'll want to know what to do when the ball doesn't go back. 

A typical conversation might be "How are you?" you respond. "Great". The ball just dropped. A great phrase to respond to a question is "And how about you?". That'll hit the conversation ball back over the net and make it easier for them to continue the conversations. 

How about if they respond back "Fine". The ball dropped again. A great phrase for a statement is "That's interesting. Tell me more". You can adjust that with "That's interesting. What happened this morning that made today fine?". Then you've picked up the ball and hit it back over for them. 

Another tactic I've learned from my outgoing friends is to state the obvious. "Wow there are a lot of people here", "The snow is really falling outside", "The appetizers are delicious". You're hoping that they engage with what you just said.

Those are just a few tactics for those that could use improvement in carrying on a conversation to help make conversations more meaningful. 

As you reflect on the relationships you are building, you'll want to consider whether they are just connections or if they are meaningful connections. When you randomly meet someone, it's unlikely that they'll turn into a meaningful connection. Same with someone at a networking event, which is only slightly less random. However, as you connect with someone personally during a curiosity conversation then you get to know them, they get to know you, and the relationship becomes more meaningful. As you follow up and add value to them then the connection progresses along the meaningful curve. 

A few tactics that you can use to make connections more meaningful are:

• Notice and be observant: Sherlock Holmes is known for being able to size up someone very quickly and you can practice doing something similar. Look for any badges or insignia that might show an association. Take a look at what they are wearing that is of interest to you
• Be interestED vs interestING: finding more about them and letting them share more about their favourite topics will be a good way to build a more meaningful connection
• Let them get to know you: offer up some additional information about yourself during conversation would be helpful
• Remember details: when you meet with them next time, recalling the past conversation will help make it seem like you care!

Now that you've started making connections and are starting to making them meaningful, building those connection will make them even more meaningful. That could be having curiosity conversations to learn more and more about that person and seeing how you can add more value to them. 

Setting reminders to connect with them can help. Now this may seem robotic, and I'd ask, what's the alternative? that you remember? You might, but my memory needs help once in a while. And as you do get this reminders, you will start to make connecting with them more of a habit. Thinking of them to share articles, connections or other resources you've come across. Also interacting with them on social media is another way to build the connection, though you need to make sure that the interactions are authentic. And always thinking about how you can add value to them, and exercising that "add value" muscle. 

And lastly, you'l want to make sure you reflect and learn. Think about the interactions that you've had. What went well? What didn't go so well? And plan to do more of what went well, and less of what didn't. Constant improvement will make interactions much more meaningful in the future. 

Building those meaningful connections will be a skill you can learn over time. Adding some help like a reminder on your calendar will be useful for you to keep those connections meaningful. 

Practising mindfulness may also help, first in the context of when you're actually connecting with that person. When yu're mindful, you'll be surprised and how much more they stay in your longer term memory and thoughts. And second, being mindful of your world and surroundings to see if there are any triggers for you to reconnect or help someone you've previously met. 

LinkedIn is currently (as of the publishing of this lecture) the leading social media platform for business and professionals. It's a great place to start making connections, and also in building them (making them meaningful is often best achieved in person). How do you connect with someone?

If you have someone in common, then the best way is to request that common connection to make an introduction. And if you don't truly know that common connection, well then you should look to build them and make it meaningful. 

For the moment, let's assume that you don't have any common connections. I'll use connecting with me as an example. What you'll want to do is explore their profile and see if you can find something in common. 

Their header will tell you a bit about them. In my case, I have my own company, and wrote a book. Do you have your own company? always wanted to start one? always wanted to write a book?

Their activity will show you their interests. What types of posts do they like? comment on? share? write?

Take a look at their experience. What might you want to know about where they currently are? where they were previously? their journey between the different organizations.

Take a look at their volunteer, projects, accomplishments, recommendations and interest. Those often indicate what they are known for as well as what they value.

Then make sure to send a personalized note with your connection request. Something like "Hi Luki, I found your profile and was interested in your mission to make Toronto the mentorship capital of the world. 

I'm a student attending UT Scarborough and would love to ask you a few questions to learn more to see how I could be of help.

Take care and hope to hear from you!"

Or something to that effect. Didn't go to the same school? doesn't matter, works the same with any other school. don't want to learn about mentorship? replace it with what is interesting to you. don't want to help? well that's the problematic part. If you can make it a habit to help and give first, then relationships have a better chance to become meaningful, and to get started in the first place. 

Then after you send it, have no expectations on a response. What I often say is that "if you message 10 people, 6 will ignore you, 3 will say no, and 1 will change your life". It may not be in that exactly proportion and depends on how well crafted that message.

Good luck and happy connecting!

So you've decided to attend a networking event. Whether it is for looking for a job, or at an interest group or something else, you'll want to come up with a game plane before you go. Take some time to do a bit of research on the organizers or the presenters. Read their bios if they have, or find them on LinkedIn or elsewhere on the internet. Think about the types of participants that will attend the events. What sorts of backgrounds might they have? what sorts of topics might they be interested in?

If you have the luxury, ask other people who have previously attended. See if they have any insights on the format or other tips and tricks. 

Then set some goals. How many people to connect with. I recommend targeting to connect with a person every 10-15 minutes, so that's about 4-6 per hour. At a 2 hour event, you should look to walk about with 8-12 business cards, LinkedIn connections or other contact info. If you can do more great!

Then look to practice your BMC. Practice to get more confidence about an areas that you are less comfortable with. 

The day of the event has arrived. It's a good idea to come early if not at least on time. Early in the event timing, there will likely be fewer. That means more dedicated time with the organizers (who will definitely be there) and speakers (who may come early), as well as other keen attendees (who may or may not be people you want to connect with).

Scope out the area for good places to be stand and network. People will tend to flow through the registration area, so you can catch people as they come through. The area where the food and drinks are, is also a great place to camp out as people will generally navigate themselves to you.

Ideally, you are "working the room". Going to various people and groups in order to cover ground across the venue. You'll also want to watch the clock so that your time isn't being monopolized and you can meet your networking goals. When you find someone you want to meet (or they find you) then here are some connection mechanics to consider.

Mechanics

Start engaging them with a hand shake and introduction. We put details in the connection section. Then engage in the conversation, be curious and look to understand needs and value. There are details in the meaningful section. Then get the contact information for the person you spoke to. And after the event, send a note to follow up. Possibly for a curiosity conversation.

When you engage with someone, be sure to look them in the eyes, and smile. This is the convention in North America. When they say their name, make sure you hear it. You might need to ask them to repeat it if you're in a loud area. You might also want to ask them to spell it so that you can internalize and understand their name. You can continue on with one of your favourite networking pick up lines we mentioned in the connection section. As you get better at networking, you might want to do a "once-over" to see if you can pick out anything of interest on the person (perhaps some familiar insignia, or brands or something else that peaks your interest). Ask question and listen. Remember to be interested instead of interesting. Then consider your networking goals on what information you might want to gain. 

It may be difficult to enter a conversation (especially for introverts). Just have 5 seconds of bravery or listen to Nike and "Just do it". People who are standing alone at a networking events are likely good candidates as they are likely looking to meet people like yourself. If you can find someone to go with you, bring a "wing person" who can scope out others just as they would on the dating scene. Especially challenging can be inserting yourself in the "half circle of death" that often occurs around the guest speaker, or inserting yourself into a well established group. Although all it takes some times is just waiting for a pause in the conversation, then making a small interruption to introduce yourself, then allowing the conversation to continue. Once in, you can continue to engage as if you were part of the conversation.

Learning to continue the conversation can be an art form. Being curious, as described in the meaningful section, can do wonders for your networking skills. Sharing information about yourself will allow them to have details that can help them continue the conversation. Asking questions to understand their interests, needs and their challenges can be helpful. Once tip I use, is for every sentence they say, ask yourself "and how can I help with that". You might not be able to come up with something on the spot and your "add value" skill becomes like a muscle and gets stronger with use. If you're in the awkward situation of not knowing what to say or ask, perhaps stating the obvious might help. "Boy there are a lot of people here". "The weather sure is hot/cold". The other person might help continue the conversation and perhaps it just gives your brain a bit more time to think of what to say. You might want to consider your network goals as well. If your goal was to learn more about the company or industry, then those would be good questions to ask. 

Sometimes exiting a conversation is just as important as entering and continuing one. Make sure you thank them and ask for contact information to keep in touch. You might not think that person is helpful now, but you never know in the future. 

After the event, take some time to debrief and reflect on the event and how you did. What didn't go so well? What went well? and how do you do more of what went well and less of what didn't? Plan to constantly improved. Send your thank you messages and plan to complete whatever action items were mentioned. 

For those of you are are students and attend school, here are some BMC tips. Make it a goal to sit beside someone new in class or with the person that you know least in the class if you know everyone. 

Take advantage of meeting people at extra curricular events like clubs or volunteer work. This is a good opportunity to meet others outside of your classes and programs. 

Your professors and teaching assistants could be good connections to have as well. TA's especially as they are often senior students who are a few years ahead and could be potential mentors. Professors often worked in the industry that you want to get into, so they'll often have great connections. You'll want to make sure you avoid any conflicts of interest for them, so you might want to really build the connection after you've finished the class.

Alumni and events run by the career centre are often great ways to make connections. 

The most important connections I'd recommend are with mentors. And I purposefully add the -S as I believe you should have more than one. Mentors may provide you guidance through out your career, or they may move in and out of your attention. 

The first thing you'll want to do is know what you want to be mentored on. It could be a senior person decades ahead of you on a career path you want to follow. Or a mentor could be someone just a year or two or so ahead of you. A mentor could be someone you admire on how they approach family, friends and relationships. Or could be for a multitude of specific topics.

One thing I'd recommend is to NOT start out by asking people to be your mentor. Often times being a mentor has additional expectations that people do not want. Although the majority of people are open to answering a few questions and giving some advice every few months. 

All of the same BMC principles apply, though when speaking to your mentor, you'll want to be particularly open minded. They are likely someone you want to be, so if they provide a suggestion that you do not necessarily agree with at first, keep in mind that they were successful down that path, so you should look to give it a shot. And with the guidance provided, make sure you do any actions that are suggested. A mentor often won't want to continue mentoring if their advice is never followed.

You'll for sure want to thank them for their time. Gifts are optional, and often appreciated. Especially if the intent is genuine. 

Also consider that it's a 2-way street where you should still be thinking how you could add value to them. 

Happy mentor connecting!

Connecting with someone separate from a networking event is create for making the connection more meaningful. You get to have a 1-on-1 conversation. Some people call it an "informational interview" and I like to refer to them as curiosity conversations since an "information interview" has a connotation wanting a job. That often makes people less comfortable. 

As you're scheduling to meet the other person, look to make the logistics convenient for them. You don't have to bend over backwards for them, and if you can make it convenient they will be more likely to meet now and in the future. 

Make sure you confirm and reconfirm the scheduling. Block off time on their calendars. Get a phone number so that you can call in the case that something unexpected happens. Plan to arrive early. Then proceed like a conversation at a networking event. The most important thing to do afterwards is to thank them.

For those of you working, a few BMC suggestions.

Take a different path or route to your desk. if your workplace has multiple entrances, go in through a different door once in a while. If you have multiple ways to get to your desk, then take a different route. 
Plan to strategically meet people in different groups. Go to where IT, or HR or finance sits and meet someone there. Same for upstream or downstream groups. 
Show up early to meetings or stay later after metings and chat with whomever else is there.
Find someone to eat with at every lunch. Either in your group, outside your group or even outside the company. 
Go for a coffee break with someone, perhaps even offer to buy. And joining folks for a smoke break can be useful to BMC, even if you don't smoke.
Bringing treats is also a good excuse to go around and chat with people.

Joining an interest group to BMC or BMCing at interests groups you are part of is a good idea. When I say interest group, it could be anything from pick-up basketball, to a book club, to a religious group, to any sort of hobby you might have. 

Connect with someone you don't know or with the person you know the least. Keep the connection outside of the event, through social media or other forms of communication. Bringing other interests forward to the people in the group might be useful as well. 

Some SIWIKE for networking at an event:

• Start before you’re ready (aka now!): 
  • Don't wait until you feel that you'll be perfect. Be prepared to make some mistakes along the way, have some awkward silences, and perhaps a few less than stellar conversations. At the end of the day, improve and get better.
• Learn and practice: take the time to practice
  
  • Entering a conversation
  • Carrying on a conversation
  • Exit a conversation
• Use / Remember names and details: People tend to build more meaningful connections if there's a personal touch in there, and someone's name or details about them are important to them, so by remembering, they feel important to you.
• Be interested instead of interesting: Said multiple times and worth repeating, get to know them more. If you can understand their challenges and how to add value to them, then that'll be an important keep to making the connection meaningful.
• Reflect and learn: constantly strive to improve
• Give first: if you can give first then people are often willing to reciprocate
• Be yourself! this will allow you to sustainably build meaningful connection 

Here are some SIWIKE for curiosity conversations:

• Offer to pay: whether you do or not is inconsequential, and the gesture and offer to pay is what's important
• Prepare and be mindful of their time: have your questions prepared. You can add more as the conversation progresses. And when time approaches, set an alarm so that you can commit to taking only the time you specified. 
• Listen and do: if they provide advice and guidance, take the time to do it. Otherwise, they might not be willing to provide more advice in the future.
• Thank them: multiple times and more times than you think is appropriate
• Know you are not entitled: If they are unavailable, then thank them and move on
• Follow up: as with other SIWIKE, making sure that you stay on their radar
• Reflect and learn: to constantly improve!