The Ultimate Addiction and Recovery Plan

Welcome to Inventorying your Life For the first half of this we’re going to talk about how to calculate how much your addiction is costing you and with that we’ll cover time, money and your overall well-being. The second part is going to cover the things you can and should do instead and again we’ll talk about your money, time and overall well-being as well. The best way to do this is to either use your journal or get three peices of paper. On one side, you will calculate what your addiction is costing you while on the other side you will document your progress and ideas on what you can and should be doing instead. So let’s start by talking going over what exactly taking inventory is.

Taking inventory is something that is important because it allows you to see where you currently are so that you can properly calculate your progress throughout your recovery. So for example, if you struggle with alcohol but have no idea how much money you spend on drinking then how will you know how much money you’re saving once you stop? This is about being true to yourself - remember, you’re here for you and this is a different approach, a different way. There’s no pressure to share your story or fudge the numbers out of embarrassment. This is for your eyes only if you prefer it that way. Of course we do encourage everyone to share their story if comfortable but in the early stages of recovery sometimes it’s uncomfortable and that’s okay too. But you know what? Once you start to make progress you’ll be excited to share how far you’ve come but you won’t be able to do that unless you know where you started from. So let’s dive in now and talk about how to calculate how much money your addiction is costing you.

One of things people who are new to recovery get really excited for is saving money. So in order to find out how much money you are going to save it’s important to calculate how much your addiction was costing you or is currently costing you now. For this exercise - there’s no need to sugar coat anything as these numbers will be for your eyes only - not your friends, not your family members, just you.

Once you have taken a moment to promise yourself that you will be completely honest about these numbers then you can start to dive right in. The simplest way to do this is to start by figuring out how much you spend each day on your addiction. Now some of you may not be spending money daily so it may be weekly or every few days so in this case you need to calculate how much you are spending over a few week period and then find the average.

For example, let’s say your addiction is alcohol and you buy 2 bottles of wine each Sunday, a 12 pack of beer each Friday and a bottle of vodka on Wednesday. So add all those up and then divide that number by 7 to get your daily number.

Let’s say your addiction is opiates and you buy daily from your dealer - there’s yoru start right there.

What about behavior addictions like video games? This one might be more complex but what you would need to do is calculate how much you’re spending on video games, addons, consoles, and so on - calculate maybe over a month and then divide it by the number of days in that month to get your daily spend.

Once you’ve figured out your daily amount you can then do all sorts of things to find out how much you’re spending. You can times your number by 7 to get your weekly spend. Times your daily number by 30 to get your monthly spend and then you can even go on to figure out how much your spending over a year and even 10 year period. A little later in the course we’ll talk about how to decide what to do with the money that you’ll be saving but for now, have fun with this activity. Try not to get upset or down about how much you’re spending or how much you’ve spent in the past, just use this information so you that you have a starting point - a way to show progress as you move forward. Next we’ll talk about how to calculate how much time your addictions is costing you.

Now let’s talk about how to calculate how much time your addiction is costing you. This is similar to money in that you will calculate how much time you spend and then try to figure out your daily time however, there’s a lot more that goes into calculating time and it’s not always cut and dry. For example, if your addiction is alcohol - the amount of time you spend using alcohol isn’t just the amount of time you’re drinking but the amount of time you spend going to the store to buy alcohol, the amount of time you spend drinking and also the amount of time you spend hungover. Shockingly, for some this may be all waking hours and for others it may be all weekend - but it’s important to be honest about the severity. If your drug of choice is heroin then you would calculate the time you spend calling your dealer, the time you spend in withdrawals. Or maybe your addiction is porn and this would be the time you spend watching porn or searching for porn. The best way to do this is calculate how much time you spend in an entire week and then divide that number by 7 to get your daily time. Similar to money. Don't’ down play this activity - every minute you spend thinking acting on your addiction should be included in this number. Next we’ll talk about how to calculate how much your addiction is costing you emotionally.

The last activity for taking inventory is take inventory on what your addiction has cost you emotionally. When you think of emotions you can think of your own mental health and the people in your life. So for this activity, it’s best to just do a free write and start listing everything you can think of that’s been affected by your addiction. For example, you might write things like family member names, friends, your kids, spouses, and then you can include things about yourself like perhaps your addiction caused you to go into a depression or maybe yous tarted to think about suicide, or you now get anxiety. Maybe you lost a relationship. Also include physical things about your body like maybe your addiction has caused you to gain or lose too much weight, maybe you're deficient somewhere or you’ve been diagnosed with something that is directly related to your addiction. Once you start to free write you’ll be surprised how much you’ll be able to attribute to your addiction. Remember, right now we’re just taking inventory and once you’ve taken inventory you can proceed as we will then talk about what you can do instead. Good luck and in our next lecture I’m going to talk about the sunk cost fallacy.

Let’s talk about sunk cost fallacy. A sunk cost fallacy is when you continue with something that you have invested either time, money or effort into knowing that the end won’t give you the best result - sort of like wishful thinking. For example, someone who stays at a job they hate because they’ve already given the company 15 years or maybe a small business owner who keeps investing in their company because they’ve already invested a ton of money and don’t want to give it up. Sunk costs can be small like I’ve already gotten in the car I might as well just go (when you realize you don’t really need to go anymore) or something big like I’ve already invested a 500,000 in this stock that is down and not selling even though you know you should.

When it comes to your addiction, you likely incur sunk costs all around you and maybe you’re aware of them and or maybe they’re hidden but it’s important that you recognize them so that you don’t fall into the trap.

In the beginning the sunk costs might be something like “I’ve already bought this bottle of wine so i might as well just drink it because I don’t want to waste it.” Or maybe it’s something like “I’ve already got this subscription to this porn site for the rest of the month so I might as well use it until then. “

But as you progress through your recovery it’s important to be even more aware of sunk costs but for now focus on those that relate to money, time and your overall well-being.

For example, I often hear from people who feel that they feel like they’ve dug themselves so deep into a financial hole that quitting their addiction would not make a difference anyway and they would just have to feel the pain of what they did rather than mask it with substances or behavior. If you feel this way, it’s common and normal but this is a sunk cost. You know logically that quitting your addiction will 100% save you money but you’re letting your emotions convince you otherwise. Yes you may feel the burn more but this is a long term game here - not something that will fix itself overnight so in order to see more big picture - it’s important to look ahead maybe a year or 5 years. When you calculate long term success you will have the ability to understand why you want to stick with it.

Another example, is when people feel like they’ve wasted so much time on their addiction and get into a rut about not getting any of that time back or like it’s too late - maybe you’ve been struggling with your addiction for 5 years, 10 years, 20 years - don’t fall into that sunk cost. All you have is what you can control and that’s the years you have left. So let’s say you’re 20 years into your addiction - maybe you started when you were 20 and you are now 40. This means that you still have well over 28 years left! I calculated this by looking up the life male life expectancy in the US and that’s 68 - other countries may be different and this does vary depending on gender and socio economic factors. Anyway, even if you’re 66 - your last years of your life don’t have to be miserable, don’t fall into the sunk cost fallacy here.

And last when you think about the emotional toll it’s taken. Getting yourself back to baseline may feel like it’s going to take forever and a journey where you just don’t know where or how to start as it seems impossible to get back to where you once were but with effort you will get there.

So with all this being said let’s continue to talk about money, time and your overall well-being. We’ve talked about how much your addiction has costed you so n ow let’s talk about what you can instead.

Myth: I’ll have so much disposable income after this - you’ve been neglecting your finances!

Alright so now we’re back to talking about money. By now you should know exactly how much money your addiction is costing you. Now that you know this, let’s talk about what you can do instead.

I would do this activity in the groups I would teach with people in early recovery. We’d do this for both any addiction including nicotine and most people are floored when they find out how much money they’re spending and immediately think that if they stop their addiction they will then have so much disposable income. This ends up not being typically the case. You see, most people with an addiction choose to spend money on their addiction rather than their obligations which means their finances have been neglected. So just because you stop your addiction doesn’t mean cash in the bank. It means being responsible and using your finances in areas that were meant to be. So for example, if you were spending $100.00 per week on cocaine, you might be thinking wow, i’ll have an extra $400.00 per month. But once you stop your addiction you’re in a much better place to make rational decisions and you’ll realize that instead of using your money on cocaine you are paying your bills on time or paying down a credit card because in the height of your addiction you may have put stuff on credit rather than paying cash. I say this because it’s important for you to have certain expectations throughout this process.

So here’s what you can instead. Take a deep look at your finances and go through all the areas that have been neglected. Maybe you’re behind on some bills, maybe you owe someone money, or maybe you haven’t been investing the amount you know you could be by now. Now instead of thinking like wow, I’ll have an extra 200.00 or 2000.00 per month - depending on how much money you were spending on your addiction - you can now think of the things you can do to catch up so that you can be in a better place.

It’s important to categorize these areas that are important. For example, owing a family member is more important than investing in a stock. Paying back rent or child support is more important than paying down a credit card. Take some time to get your ideas in order and figure out where and when those extra funds are going to take place. Once you get your finances in order you can then check to see what’s left over every month and where you have wiggle room. Maybe then you can set aside money for things that will support your recovery - a hobby, a gym membership, healthier food and so on.

Alright so next we’re going to talk about what you can do with your time instead.

Okay now that you know how you’re going to be spending your money, let’s talk about how to spend the time you’re saving. Similar to money, oftentimes people think that they are just going to magically have this unusual amount of free time and that’s not always the case. I want you to think of this from a different perspective. Don’t think of this as free time but think of this as sober time. Of course, with sober time there will be some free time that comes out of it and what you do with that time is important.

If you spend your free time sitting on the couch, watching tv, playing video games and eating junk food, you will not feel productive or better. Your time should be calculated and with intention. So for example maybe your addiction was costing you 6 hours per day. With a new schedule and sober time you might add an hour or two for sleep if you weren’t sleeping well, maybe you spend a little more time at work, and then maybe you spend time on yourself - more fitness, cooking at home rather than eating out, and so on.

The way to measure your success here is to make a schedule for yourself and then do a daily reflection. Maybe you’re used to being hungover on Sundays and now you’re up and out grocery shopping by 10am. Or perhaps you used to spend your fridays drunk or high and now you’re spending quality time with your family instead. Those are major wins but unless you take the time to reflect and compare your new life to your old life, you won’t see them, you won’t feel them and you might feel like the whole process is boring and slow. That’s normal.

So start reflecting, grab a journal and document your wins each day. You’ll be surprised how far you come.

Earlier I had the task of writing down all the things your addiction has been costing you - starting with people and then moving towards your own mental health. Now I want you to go back to that list and start to prioritize those things and think of ways you can start to make it better. For example, maybe you put on your list your spouse. Perhaps under your spouse's name would be like more communications, couples counseling, and so on. Maybe on your list you put depression. Think about what steps you need to take to get yourself the care you need. Do you need to make an appointment with a mental health professional? Therapy, medication, and so on.

At first, this may seem like a huge undertaking so try not to get overwhelmed. Instead, break it down into small chunks and always prioritize. You don’t want to try and repair an old friendship with a drug dealer for example, instead you can cross them off your list by doing something simple like deleting their number and blocking them from your social media. That’s a quick and easy win.

It’s going to take time but again, just like what I was talking about with the time and money, make sure you take time each day to reflect on your small wins and gains. And always keep a journal, I cannot express to you how important this is for motivation. Daily it’s going to seem and feel like things are taking forever to get better but if you document and journal you’ll be able to see how far you’ve come and that will be helpful to look at if you ever feel triggered or like giving up and going back to your old ways. ’

Taking inventory isn’t easy and can be very eye opening. Like we discussed the only way you can measure success is to be honest about where you started. We talked about not just money but time and emotional costs as well. If you have any questions at all feel free to post them in the facebook group or the Q&A.

What a topic we have for you! It may not seem like there’s that much to think about when setting a quit date but boy there certainly. We’ll talk about why setting a quit date is important, what things to think about when setting a quit date, what to do before your quit date, what to do on your quit date and then why you should celebrate your quit date. I”m excited to talk more about this so let’s just dive right in.

Setting a quit date is important because it shows that you are thinking critically and strategically about how you want to proceed in the recovery process. When you don’t have plan or you just wing things then your chances for success greatly diminish. By setting a date, you can take the time leading up to that date to properly prepare and yes, there are many things to prepare for and to think about which we will talk about in the next lecture.

The date that you set will be a date that you will remember forever, this will be your anniversary date - sort of like getting married. You commit to something different, commit to a new beginning and you will celebrate this every year for the rest of your life.

Now don’t just look at the calendar and pick a random date. There are many things to think about before choosing that date so let’s talk about that.

Welcome - now we’re going to talk about all the things you need to consider when setting a quit date.

First of all, your quit date will depend entirely on your physical dependence. If your detox and withdrawal won’t be as bad you might be able to push through certain things. Whereas, if you’re going to have a detox or withdrawal that puts you out for days it’s important to take that time and not try to push yourself through any situation really.

If you are detoxing from alcohol or barbiturates you’ll need to have a medically monitored detox and sometimes you don’t get a choice on that date - it might be chosen for you. If you are detoxing from alcohol or barbiturates it might also be an option to taper down so your official quit date won’t be until you are safe to completely be off those substances. If you are detoxing from alcohol or barbiturates and you have a physical dependence please talk to your doctor.

If you are a binge drinker on the other hand and your body is used to going days without drinking alcohol, you can set your quit date but please be cautious and if you start to feel any sort of physical withdrawals, contact your doctor ASAP.

So with all that being said, let’s talk about what to think about:

First off, when you’re looking at your calendar, think about important events that might be coming up. Are you wanting to quit and have a good amount of sober time before that event or if the event is in the near future you may want to think about waiting until it’s over; maybe it’s a family birthday or reunion, maybe you have a big project at work or school, a wedding, whatever it is just don’t schedule your quit date on those dates or just right before because you don’t want to be withdrawing or going through detox during that time. If those events are pretty far out, try and set your quit date sooner than later - because you’re here and you really don't want to drag this out any longer than you have to.

Other things to think about - depending on the severity of your withdrawal and detox is whether or not you’ll be able to take time off work or school or other obligations you may have. Maybe you’re a parent - can you find a babysitter for a few days while you go through this? If you work, can you use vacation or sick time? Again this depends on the severity of what you're going through. If it’s a mild detox or withdrawal you might be able to get away with just taking it easy but if you’re withdrawing from something like opioids then you may not be even semi functional and will need to have a few days with no commitments.

Okay so take some time to think about this and set a date. Next, we’ll talk about what to do before your quit date.

Okay so now you’ve set a date or you know you will be setting a date to quit soon. But what do you do between now and then?

For starters, think about who you can tell. Think carefully about this because you want to tell people who are supportive of you but also people who you know you don’t want to let down. The more you hype it up the better your chances. Don’t be cautious but rather confident and proud. Like ya, hey I’m quitting next Tuesday and that’s that.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. Depending on who knows about your addiction, reach out - ask for a babysitter, ask for time off work, ask for someone to come check on you during this time. If you think you can’t do it alone, ask for company.

Next, you’ll want to start getting rid of things that will trigger you. Are there things around your house? Maybe alcohol, paraphernalia, and so on. Have a plan on how you’re going to get rid of drugs or alcohol by your quit date - will you pour the alcohol down the drain? Flush the drugs, etc?

Stock up on healthy foods and snacks. The last thing you’ll want to do is go to the store and have to buy something while you’re withdrawing.

Stock up on entertainment - keep yourself busy with movies, books, and so on.

Ask someone to hold onto your money for a few days starting on your quit date. As the first few days are pretty rough it’s important to eliminate anything that might cause you to want to relapse. By not having money, you won't be able to get the drugs or alcohol you’ll want to get.

And last, clean your home and catch up on household chores. Having a clean space which includes things like clean sheets, towels, and so on can really make a difference. You’ll feel less stressed and more refreshed when your environment is not cluttered.

With all this being said, let’s talk now about what to do on your actual quit date.

Okay so everyone’s quit date is going to be a different experience. For some, your quit date might be having to start detox. For others, it might be just another normal day. But on your quit date, wherever you are, it’s important to really give yourself some props. Do a lot of self reflection and be really proud of yourself. Getting here wasn’t easy and it won’t be easy going forward but for day one, you should take some time to do something nice for yourself. If you have the budget, then do something like treat yourself to a nice massage or go out for a nice meal. Give your body permission to relax; maybe go to the movies or binge watch a new TV show. Make this special and one you’ll never forget. It’s the first day of the rest of your life.

Like I said, it’s not going to be easy going forward, physically, mentally and emotionally but at least for this day, you can rest and relax, catch up on some sleep and get prepared to start the next chapter of your life. Next, let’s talk about celebrating!

So all the hype about setting a quit date is important because it’s such a significant day. It’s not like a birthday or a holiday where you just celebrate for no other reason than being alive, this is a day to celebrate because you’ve gathered up the courage, strength and ultimate preparation to give it your all. Therefore, from here on out, it’s important to celebrate milestones no matter how big or small. For starters - celebrate your 24 hour milestone! I mean, let’s face it. How many people say they’re gonna quit and can’t even make it day. Then celebrate your weekly and monthly milestone and forever and ever you will be celebrating your yearly milestone. I mean how cool is it going to be when you make it to ten years! Just by being here right now, you are setting yourself up for such great success. Happy celebrating!

That’s it for Setting a Quit date. We talked about why setting a quit date is so important as well as why you most definitely should be celebrating it! If you have any questions or comments feel free to post them in the Q&A or private facebook group. As always, to your greatest success!

Okay so you’ve set a quit date and you’re here. Hopefully you tapered a bit before your quit date but if you haven’t don’t let that deter you from sticking to your quit date and following through.

We’re going to talk about the difference between detoxing at home and medically monitored detox, how to prepare to detox at home, what to after day 1 of detox and life after detox. Let’s get started.

Making the choice to detox at home over being medically monitored shouldn’t be taken lightly. This is something you need to think through and make sure you at not putting your life at risk by doing so. There are two drugs that no matter how much you think you can tough it out, you should never try to detox at home and that’s alcohol and benzos.

If you are detoxing from either of these drugs you need to do a long lasting taper that is approved by your doctor or be medically monitored in a detox facility.

If you are pregnant, no matter what drug you are detoxing from, you should seek medical care and the conversation as to whether or not it is safe to detox at home should be had between you and your doctor.

If you have other health conditions or a weakened immune system, also, please talk to your doctor before making any decisions about detox.

A medically monitored detox is not the same as rehab. A medically monitored detox is a place you go to for 2-7 days where you receive round the clock care. There are certain medications that nurses might give you to relieve the pain but most importantly they are keeping on eye on your vital signs and make sure that you are safe. Not all medically monitored detox experiences are the same. Some facilities are overwhelmed and lack good quality patient care while others can be top of the line. It mostly boils down to how much you can afford. Some insurance companies will pay for detox while others will not so you need to find out all of this information beforehand.

Many detox centers have waiting lists and some that are state funded ask you to call on the morning of to secure a place so your start of detox relies solely on their timeline which makes it nearly impossible to plan for anything especially if you have family or work obligations.

But if you need it, it’s important to do what you can to prepare and be on-call each day. For example, have a backup plan for work, family etc. before so that when you are able to get a bed for detox there won’t be any excuse or reason for you to say no. If detox is out of the question but your drug of choice is alcohol, benzos or if you are pregnant, then talk to your doctor and see if they can help you with a tapering plan.

If you are detoxing from anything other than alcohol or benzos and if you’re not pregnant or have any major health concerns then detoxing at home might be a better option for you. So let’s talk about how to prepare.

I’ve talked about how to prepare for your quit date which is similar to preparing to detox at home. But let’s get into a little more detail here.

Your detox severity is going to depend on what you are detoxing from and how heavy your use was. An opiate detox will be a lot more physically hard whereas an amphetamine detox may be more mentally hard. But either way, no doubt, detox is going to be hard but it’s all about preparation.

So of course, as we’ve talked about before, leading up to your quit date you should take some measures to taper. During the lead up, you should plan for a lot of different things;

Your health. You want to make sure that you have healthy foods available. You may not be eating much but the food that you do eat counts a lot. What you shouldn’t be doing is eating candy, sweets or McDonalds. That will not help you feel better. So stock up on things that are easy on the stomach. I always recommend the BRAT diet which consists of bananas, rice, applesauce and toast.

Make sure you have access to a lot of water and also water with added electrolytes. Stay away from things like gatorade or sporty drinks that are filled with sugar.

Psychologically: to be psychologically prepared you need to start pumping yourself up. Get excited about detox. Yes it’s gonna suck no lie but how you think about it can mean the difference between toughing it out and relapse. Think of it as getting rid of the poison that’s been in your body. Every vomit, every case of diarrhea is a sign that you’re pushing through and fighting this to the very end.

If have a diagnosed mental health disorder such as anxiety or depression talk to a mental health provider before your detox and make sure you’re prepared. If you take prescribed medication for your mental health, don’t stop taking it. What will be your backup plan if start to experience dark thoughts or have a panic attack? Know who to call and what to do.

Socially: To socially prepare you will need to know what your story is going to be for your work. Not everybody can tell their work they are detoxing so have a plan on what you’re going to say. Will you have the flu or food poisoning? Practice and rehearse what you’re going to say.

When it comes to friends and family the same thing applies although hopefully there is someone you can confide in, someone that may be able to help you, keep an eye on you if things get bad or someone you can just talk to if you get lonely or scared.

If you’re detoxing and want to give up and have nobody to call find the number to . your local crisis line or text line. There are volunteers out there that can help. But you don’t want to be in a situation where you feel so bad and not sure who to call. Researching these things before hand can be a huge help.

And last stock up on things that can help take your mind off it all. Video games, movies, Netflix, magazines, books, crossword puzzles, whatever it is that you enjoy make sure you have it on hand.

Now let’s talk about how to actually detox at home.

So you’re fully prepared physically, mentally and socially and you’re ready to get this over with. Now what? Well Day one should be relatively easy as your withdrawal symptoms shouldn’t kick in until later in the day. So use this day to tie up loose ends. If you need to make a run to the store, then do it, make sure you have gotten rid of all or your paraphernalia, try and eat a healthy meal and drinks lots of water. If you can get some physical exercise in then that would be ideal as well and then hunker down as you get closer to the 24 hour mark. Make sure you’re at home in a safe place, your room or home is clean and tidy and you’re near a toilet. The next few days is all about riding it out and making it as tolerable as possible.

Once your withdrawal symptoms start to kick in just do your best to relax and breathe. Get into a good Netflix series and give yourself permission to do nothing. Don’t worry about anything else on the outside. Your only goal during detox is to make it through without relapsing.

Hard physical symptoms are common but it’s also important to keep an eye out for anything that might be life threatening. . The most common complication with detoxing is dehydration. If you are vomiting a lot or have a lot of diarrhea it’s important to keep drinking water and do the pinch test often. The pinch test is where you pinch your pretty tight, let go and see what happens. If your skin returns to normal you’re okay. If your skin stays in a pinch shaped position then you are showing signs of dehydration. Drinks water immediately, wait about 15 minute and repeat the test. However, if you continue to vomit and have diarrhea and your skin isn’t returning to normal it’s important that you get yourself to an emergency room as you will need an IV. Yes, people can die from dehydration so please don’t let that happen to you.

After the hardest part is over, usually around day 3-5, it’s important that you gradually work up your strength and get your body back into a natural biorhythm. Do your best to stay awake during the day so that you can sleep better at night. That’s not to say don’t nap but don’t let yourself sleep for hours on end. Set a 20 minute timer and keep your naps as minimal as possible.

Start taking walks but stay close to home in case you need a toilet. Walk around the house, maybe do some yoga and each day aim for a little more. After about a week you should start to feel a little more normal and be able to physically do things like work and exercise.

Depression is common after detox so it’s important to try and get yourself up and out each day and back to your normal routines as soon as possible.

Let’s now talk about life after detox.

Everyone feels different after detox. For some, there is a slight honeymoon period where you feel so good you wonder why ever started to begin with. And that’s great but this it’s important that you follow the Sobriety success Method to prepare for what to do after the honeymoon phase.

Other people feel depressed and like they don’t want to do anything and find it hard to get motivated while others may feel completely overwhelmed and anxious. Either way, the sobriety success method will cover all areas from your physical body, to your mental health and how to deal socially. Recovery isn’t just about being sober. After detox you are sober but the recovery journey is just beginning.

Detoxing is hard and it might be one of the hardest things you have to do but there are going to be difficult moments in recovery as well and like I've been talking about so often, it’s all about preparation. If you are prepared for the hard stuff you won’t be caught off guard. Being caught off guard leads to triggers and relapse so don’t let that happen to you. Congrats on making it through the detox course and I’m excited to continue on with you during your recovery.

Eating well for recovery. My name is Denise and I’ll be the facilitator. In this course you will learn about why nutrition is a critical component to breaking any addiction. I’ll talk about how to find a plan that works for you and what it will take to get started. I’m also going to talk about getting rid of junk food, how to organize your meals and week and how to grocery shop. By making small improvements each and every week, you will be surprised how impactful your diet will be in this journey. Let’s get started.

Let’s start by talking about why nutrition is important when tackling an addiction. What we eat and put into our bodies plays a significant role in how we feel, regardless of anything else.

Most people who struggle with an addiction, don’t necessarily put a lot of thought and effort into what they are eating, because the addiction is what has taken precedence. Everything you do, revolves around what you are addicted to. Therefore,your nutrition has probably not been the best and has been lacking in some way. If you’re addicted to substances or food then that’s a doubly whammy as you’ve been putting your body through so much.

Here’s the thing, you may be able to overcome your addiction but if you’re not eating right, you’re not going to be able to perform at your best. And I want you to be able to perform at your best because that’s how you can manage withdrawals, overcome triggers and stay sober for your entire life.

The good news is that now that you’re working on overcoming your addiction, you have the capability of thinking more clearly and now you can start to focus on important things like maintaining good health.

I don’t want you to think of recovery as always being so serious so we’re going to talk about ways to eat better, stay healthy and have some fun with food. Let’s get started.

So you might be thinking, geeze, where do I even start? That’s a great question! The easiest way to obtain better health through nutrition, especially if this is your first experience with really putting forth the effort to have a better diet, is to find a program. Now, I know and you know that not everyone fits into the same box and this is where I am holding you accountable to doing your own research. It would not be right for me to suggest a nutrition program for you based on my personal experience or the experience of anyone else. We all have different wants, needs, and desires.

So let’s start there. I want you to start researching ways to eat better and find a nutrition plan that works for you. It’s important to be open-minded yet cautious of what you read. You want to make sure what you’re reading is credible and backed up by research.

Let me give you an example, some people find great success with the Paleo plan which mainly focuses on eating organic and locally sourced high quality meat whereas others have found great success eating vegan. Some of you may be suffering from other physical ailments such as diabetes or auto-immune disorders. There are specific diet plans for just about everything.

There are so many plans to choose from and if you truly get stuck, I recommend looking at some of the government plans which tend to be very basic and general.

The benefit of following a plan is that it helps keep you on track and keeps you from guessing or making choices that you’re unsure of.

Alright so go ahead now and take some time to do some research, find a plan that sounds interesting to you and then I’ll meet you in the next lecture.

I hope you had some fun researching a plan that works for you. I know it can be overwhelming but hopefully you’re excited about the plan you chose!

Alright so now that you have a plan let’s talk about gathering necessary items. First, the plan you chose - do you need a book or a membership subscription? If you can, I highly recommend purchasing the extras that are offered. When you feel like you’ve put some time and money into your plan, you are more likely to succeed. But at the same time, know when enough is enough - you don't have to break the bank to pull this off.

So make a list of items you think you’ll need. Maybe you’ll need some new kitchen utensils such as a blender, food processor, new knives for cutting vegetables, etc. Food scales, measuring cups. Make sure you have everything you need to be successful. IF there are meal charts available, print them off now. This is a very important part to making sure you’re fully prepared. If you’re not fully prepared you may get frustrated or give up. For example, I remember when I was following a nutrition plan a few years ago, I thought I had everything I needed and one dinner recipe called for a blender. I didn’t have a blender so I tried to mash it up manually. It didn’t work, I was frustrated. I gave up and ate something else. Don’t let that happen to you. Read ahead, see what you need, gather the items and once you have all the items. I’ll meet you in the next lecture

Welcome back. You’re almost ready to start your meal plan. So now, let’s start with something very important. I want you to walk through your home and grab a bag or a box and gather all things in your home that you would consider to be junk food: soda, cookies, etc. Put them in a bag or box and get rid of them. If they are sealed you can donate them, or give them to a neighbor or friend. You can compost or throw out anything that can’t be given away.

One thing I don’t want you to do is to gorge on junk food right now. So many people make this mistake and trust me on this. If you gorge on junk food because you know you’re about to start a healthy nutrition plan, you’ll regret it as it will just be that much harder to get into the groove. You can start making healthier choices today even if you haven't started your nutrition plan yet.

Alright so go ahead and get rid of your junk food and once that’s done, I’ll meet you in the next lecture where we are going to talk about how to make a meal plan.

I hope you were able to get rid of all the junk food you had. Okay so now let’s talk about how to make a meal plan. Some nutrition plans come with pre-populated meal plans and that’s great but just like I was talking about earlier, not every fits into the same box.

If your nutrition plan came with a pre-populated meal plan, I want you to look at it and make sure it’s attainable for where you are in your life right now. If not make adjustments as needed.

If you don't have a pre-populated meal plan, let’s do that now.

I want you to find a way to organize your week. The best way to do that is to write down every day, and the meals you need to eat in order to be successful.

Here’s what I mean: let’s say your meal plan calls for breakfast, lunch, dinner and a midday snack. You may prefer it to be snack, breakfast, lunch and dinner or maybe combine your breakfast and snack or whatever, depending on your schedule you need to adjust it.

I also caution people who follow a plan to not get caught up in the details. It’s more about providing yourself with healthy, whole nutritious food rather than how many ounces you ate and if you ate at exactly 10:00am. Or maybe you and your family are going out to eat for a special occasion - have the birthday dessert! Don't overthink the little things.

When making your plan, make sure the foods you choose are things you like. You may not like fish so don’t eat it! You may not like cottage cheese - don't eat it - replace it with something similar.

It’s important to set yourself up for success! In the next lecture we’re going to talk about scheduling your week

In the last lecture we talked about meal planning. In this lecture I want to talk about the importance of planning out your week so you can be super successful every time.

Pick a day; typically this would be a Saturday or Sunday. A day before or the day of shopping. So first, like we talked about in the last lecture, you make a meal plan and now I want you to plug in that plan to fit your schedule. If your meal plan has you eating breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner then make sure that you can actually do that. For example, if you work 8-5 - will you be eating breakfast before you go to work or when you’re at work? What time will lunch be? Will you be able to break for a snack? What type of meetings do you have? Do you have any friend or family get togethers - dinners, parties, etc.? All of these things need to be considered each week. When you look ahead, for example, you can plan to go out to eat on Friday - maybe take a look ahead of time at the menu to see what healthy food choices you can make. You are more likely to make unhealthy choices if you’re stressed or caught off guard.

So go ahead and do that now - plan your week and plug in your meals to meet your week’s needs. Once you do that, we’ll talk about making a shopping list.

Alright so now you have made your meal plan and planned your week. It’s time to make that shopping list. This is where you can really make a difference when it comes to healthy eating.

First, it’s important that you plan for the entire week to limit the amount of time you spend in the store. When you are in the store, you’re more likely to grab a snack item or some junk food just because. So there are two tips I can give you for this part.

1. Never go to the store hungry. We’ve all done that and have come out buy way more than we needed - there’s a lot of science behind this too.

2. Think about shopping online - it’s so easy and convenient now and you’re less likely to purchase unnecessary items.

Okay so let’s talk about the list. It’s important to be successful that you start with the first day and work through. Just start making that last - everything you’ll need including any spices or garnishes. Don’t leave anything out. Once you make the full and complete list, then have fun shopping! Don’t deviate from that last. Make it a point to create space around those thoughts. If you’re shopping for more than you, I know this is tough too but you can still do it. When one person starts to eat healthy, it trickles down to the whole family, little by little week by week. It doesn’t have to be a complete change and I wouldn’t recommend it either as you most definitely will get pushed back and even your own self will get burned out pretty quick. So keep that in mind. Alright - happy shopping!

I touched a little in the last lecture about small changes and that’s what I want to talk about now. Whether you are alone or providing food for more than just you, it’s important to not go all out so quick. That doesn’t work well. Take it week by week, day by day and make small improvements each time. If you are following a meal plan, be sure to incorporate things you enjoy. Most meal plans have room for desserts or delicious snacks. But nobody’s perfect and you might find yourself continuing to drink soda or snack on your spouse's cookies.

I want you to just create space around those thoughts and each week, make an effort to eliminate something or exchange something you’d normally eat for something better. We all have room for improvements.

For example, this week, you may cut out soda. Just don’t buy it, it’s not good for you or anyone in the family. Next week, you may switch your cereal out for a healthier option. The week after that you may try cutting out desserts all together or perhaps switch from regular fruit to organic fruit. However you do it, just keep improving little by little each week. When you look back in 6 months, you’ll be so surprised how far you’ve come with healthy eating. Alright good luck with this week! IN the next lecture, I’m going to talk to you about vitamins!

This is something where every person is going to have a different need. If you suffer from a medical condition do some research or consult your doctor to see what vitamins may be helpful. At the minimum, everyone should be taking good multi-vitamin. Think about things like if you live in an area that lacks sun you may want to add some vitamin D. If you are vegan or vegetarian you may need to add some vitamin B12. Some people need extra iron if they are anemic, etc. There are additional vitamins that can help with energy and overall health such as CoQ10. Look into this, find out what may benefit you and then hop on that vitamin train! Alright see you in the next lecture.

Alright so this is the end of the course. Most people will feel better once they adjust their nutrition. If you’ve made significant nutritional improvements but still struggle with tiredness, weight gain, stomach issues, etc. you should call your doctor to get a full complete check up, including blood work. I had a client who was in recovery and eating very well. However week after week he was just complaining about how tired he was and how he could barely focus at work. We finally made a plan for him to see his GP and get some blood work done and it turned out he was suffering from an undiagnosed auto-immune disorder. Once he got that all sorted out, everything just really turned around for him. For most of you, making healthier nutrition choices is going to do wonders how you feel and how you’re able to adjust to live in recovery. If you’re unsure, give it a few weeks, see how you feel and then make an appointment. It never hurts to get a basic check up.

Nice work on taking charge of your nutrition!  Recovery isn’t just about stopping your addiction, it’s so much more.  Your strength and courage to keep on going every day, to make better choices about your overall health is really inspiring. You truly are my hero. Take care.

Welcome! Today we're talking about fitness in recovery. First we're going to talk about why fitness is important and then we'll move on to talking about what plan might work best for you. You'll need to think about things like what fitness gear will this require, what kind of time can I dedicate and then a little later we'll talk about things like the importance of moving your body every single day and how to make fitness fun. Let's get started.

First off, I want to recognize that recovery is hard work and for many of you, just thinking about exercising or engaging in fitness may seem near impossible. And that’s okay. Let’s start this by talking about why fitness plays a crucial role in your ability to completely recover from your addiction and from there we’ll talk about how you can take the steps you need to take to get started.

Studies not only show that regular exercise increases overall health but regular exercise also reduces the likelihood of relapse and helps with withdrawals, reduces craving and helps manage triggers. The more you focus on your overall health, the better chances you have for a full recovery.

Fitness and nutrition go hand in hand. You can eat well, but if you’re not moving your body every single day then eating well won’t cut it. It goes the other way too - you can’t work out every day and then eat crappy food - you won’t see and feel the results that you need. And when we talk about results, I’m talking about the way you feel about yourself in recovery.

The body is extremely resilient- surprisingly resilient. Chances are - you have not been focusing on your health as much as you’ve needed because your addiction has taken precedence over everything else. But don’t let that discourage you - the sooner you start to focus on this, the easier things will become. Sooooo, how exactly do you get started? Well, like we talked about with nutrition - we’ll talk about that now - finding a plan.

So we talked about why fitness is important. Let's now talk about how to figure out what to do. So you have two options here:

1. You can find a fitness plan and use that or

2. You can make your own plan

Let's dig a little deeper on how to decide.

First, let's talk about finding a fitness plan. There are so many fitness plans you can find online. But first, you need to decide what type of fitness are you interested in? Maybe it's running, hiking, biking, lifting weights, or just general fitness like going to a gym. Once you decide on something then it's time to hit the internet.

So let's say you chose running. There are tons of running apps that you can purchase or I'm sure there are free ones too. From there, you need to narrow it down to what you think will work best for you. I know a lot of people have success with couch to 5k but there are so many others as well.

Or let's say you want to hike more. There are also hiking apps where they show you the nearest trails, mountains, etc. Same thing with swimming or biking. Or perhaps you want to life weights. Find a plan or maybe pick a program like Crossfit. Whatever it is, make sure it's something that you find enjoyable and fun. The great thing about following a plan is that you don't have to think about it. Someone else is literally telling you what to do and no doubt in a few weeks, you'll be in great shape and will start to notice changes - as long as you follow the plan.

Now for some people, following a plan may not be your thing and that's okay too! If that's you then make your own plan! Here's how to do it. Pick an activity you enjoy or maybe more than one activity. Once you pick your activity, think about what your goals will be for that activity. For example, if you choose biking, maybe you start with biking a mile a day, 3 times per week, and increase it .5 miles each week until you can start biking 5 miles a day 3 times per week or 4 miles a day 5 times per week. Start with your end goal and work backwards. If you're a runner, maybe your goal is to run faster or run further. Or maybe you want to get stronger and lift weights. What are your weight lifting goals?

So whatever you choose, think about it and make that choice. Once you have chosen what you want to do, write it down somewhere and I will see you in the next lecture.

In order for you to be super successful it's important to gather all the tools you need. Let's say you chose Insanity. You would need some weights and maybe some new workout clothes. If you chose biking - has your bike had a tune up? Did you have the right shoes to work out in? Maybe your plan requires a heart rate monitor or a yoga mat. Whatever you need, get.

I know that sounds pushy but I want you to think of it this way. You are likely saving a bunch of money by not indulging in your addiction or addictive behaviours. With the money you save, you deserve to put it back into yourself. When you start to invest in yourself, in your health specifically, other areas of your life will open up and you'll reap the benefits. It's not okay to splurge on alcohol or video games or porn or whatever. It's 100% okay to splurge on your health. Think of this as an investment. An investment towards your future and your health. Once you've gathered your items, go to the next lecture where we will talk about making a schedule.

Alright so you've picked your plan or made a plan, gathered your items. Now it's time to put all of this into action. Similar to a nutrition schedule, you'll want to schedule your fitness times. Let's say your plan is 5 days per week. Take a look at your calendar and figure out what 5 days work best for you. Maybe you have a late meeting every Tuesday so Tuesday may not be the best day. Then think about the best times - before work, after work, during your lunch break? Late a night, on the weekends. What works for your schedule? Now take a weekly planner (either a physical planner or one on your phone) and start plugging it in. Personally, I just use my google calendar. It keeps me focused but everyone has their own ways of staying focused. The important thing is that you take time to think this through.

I had a client who was trying to be more physically active. She went as far as choosing a plan but was constantly failing. I asked her to tell me what days she had scheduled to do Zumba - she had signed for a Zumba class and she said "Oh I don't really have specific days I just try to go when I can and I've been really busy lately and keep running out of time" That's doesn't work. We're all super busy and if we don't make time in our busy schedules, it's not going to magically appear. So make the time and schedule it out.

That's the difference between being successful or not. Alright so go ahead and schedule it out, find a start date and get going! I'm going to talk to you next about the benefits of having a fitness tracker.

Alright so now that you're ready to go I want to talk to you about fitness trackers! yay!

Okay there are so many options and of course this all depends on your budget but if you don't have a fitness tracker yet, I highly encourage you to get one. The reason for this is fitness trackers hold you accountable and they show your growth and progress which is super exciting to see. They range anywhere from $15.00 to $300.00. I personally recommend just a basic fitbit but if you can afford more - that's super cool too! Not only can you track your fitness but you can also track your nutrition, sleep, and heart rate. Take some time looking around and see what you can come up with. If you already have one then great! Make sure you're wearing it every day!

Now you know the importance of regular fitness but did you also know how important it is to move your body every single day. Being complacent is one of the worst things you can do to your body. If you're complacent you are at a higher risk of developing arthritis, heart disease, and of course you're more likely to be overweight, and yes even if you exercise regularly.

Think about this - if you follow a plan that has you doing intense physical fitness 4-5 times per week, one hour per day - what happens to the rest of your time? Of course, it's important to relax but that doesn't mean you work out for one hour a day and then do nothing for the other 13 hours you're awake.

I get that most of you probably have some sort of job where you sit at a desk and it's really hard to find time to get up and move. In the last lecture we talked about fitness trackers and hopefully you're able to get one. A fitness tracker can help remind you that you need to move.

A healthy person will aim for 10k - 12k steps per day. You'll want to be sure you're getting exercise every hour too. For example, the Fitbit sends a reminder at 50 after letting you know if you've met your hourly step goal. You can set your hourly to meet your needs but the standard is around 250 steps per hour.

So when you're up and about it's also important to think of creative ways to be more active. Take the stairs instead of the elevator, maybe walk to the corner store instead of drive and incorporate an evening walk, every night. The more you move, the better you'll feel, I promise.

As we wrap up the section on fitness I want to talk to you about making fitness fun. Seriously. Fitness doesn't have to be a drag. I don't typically recommend working out a gym because I know for most people that just becomes a chore. If you're a gym rat I totally get that as some people genuinely enjoy their time there but if that's not you, don't feel bad about it. There are other ways to meet your fitness goals.

Think of something you enjoy and take it up as a hobby. You see a fitness plan is a great way to get you started but they generally are only 6-12 weeks long and you'll want to be sure you keep up your fitness even after that. A fitness plan is a great way to jump start your body, but as you progress and start to see the end, start thinking about how you want to keep up fitness for the rest of your life.

Maybe it's preparing for a marathon or a triathlon, or training to hike mount everest (only half kidding on that one) but have fun! Go swimming, do some yoga at sunrise, take long walks in the park. Remember, this is all about taking good care of yourself so you can be the best person you can be. Recovery doesn't have to be so serious or hard - make the most out of your sober days and don't forget to laugh.

We talked about quite a bit when talking about fitness.  We know why fitness is important for a full recovery, we talked about following a plan or making your own, and we talked about going all out in regards to getting a fitness tracker, fitness supplies to keep you success and then most importantly we talked about having fun.  I'm proud of you for being here and pushing through. Recovery is not a one size fits all. What may be easy for some may not be easy for you and vice versa. the beauty about getting sober at home is that nobody is there to judge you or make you feel bad about anything. Take your time with this and don't overdo anything but stay actively engaged and continue to make small improvements each and every day.  Take care!

So we all know that getting enough sleep is generally important to your overall health but it’s even more important when you are fighting an addiction. It’s common to feel like you’re not getting enough sleep or you're sleeping too much. In this section, we’re going to talk about why sleep is important during recovery, how much sleep you’re getting now, and how much sleep you should be getting. In addition, I’ll help you recognize signs of not getting enough sleep, dig deeper into different types of sleep, and the health benefits and risks of getting too much or too little sleep. We’ll conclude this course by talking about ways you can get better sleep, when and if you should take sleep aids and if you should call your doctor. Let’s get started.

Sleep is a key component when breaking any addiction. Just like fitness and nutrition,it’s important to take care of your health by focusing on sleep. In other words, you need to let your body rest.

Your addiction has likely been taking a toll on your body and most people with an addiction have messed up sleep. When you don’t sleep well, your entire body is affected. Your brain needs sleep in order to repair itself and help you turn back to baseline.

Sleeping too little can cause your body to become irritated and when agitated you are at greater risk for triggers which could potentially lead to relapse. When you sleep too much, your body doesn’t get the activity it needs to be in a healthy state and this can lead to lack of motivation, depression, or sadness which can also lead to triggers and relapse. The key is to get just the right amount, every single night.

Most people don’t get enough sleep and those who are fighting an addiction have it that much harder. That’s why I want to talk to you about how exactly to get a good night’s sleep every night. When you couple this with nutrition and fitness, you set yourself up for great success. Let’s start by figuring out how much sleep you are currently getting.

The first thing you'll need to do before changing anything is take inventory. How much sleep are you getting now, are you getting good quality sleep? Does it take you forever to fall asleep? Do you wake up often?

The answers to these questions should be documented over a couple of days. Now the easiest way to get answers is to use a fitness tracker that logs your sleep. Most fitness trackers are pretty affordable now and very beneficial because you can use it for your nutrition and fitness as well. If you don't have a fitness tracker then you'll have to start using a pen and paper - just keep a log next to your bed.

If using a pen and paper it’s impossible to know the exact minute you fell asleep but that’s okay; when you wake up just try to remember around what time you feel asleep, what time you woke up and if you remember waking up in the middle of the night.

You’ll need a few days in order to calculate some sort of average. Everybody has off nights here and there; that’s normal but what we really want to know is how much sleep you are getting on average and what your quality of sleep is like.

It’s important to make a note of how you feel each morning and throughout the day while making a log. Are you feeling refreshed when you wake up, groggy, what about during the day? Do you get tired often? Go ahead and start and log and continue to log your sleep over the next few days. After that: we’ll talk about how much sleep you should be getting.

Ideally, you should be getting 7-9 hours of sleep each night and only waking up once or twice for a few moments, if at all. It shouldn't take you more than 7-10 minutes to fall asleep and you should find waking up; while yes nobody likes to wake up but it shouldn't feel impossible.

Once you figure out where you stand, you can then start to make improvements.

Getting the right amount of sleep isn’t easy and won’t just come naturally. It’s going to take some time and effort to establish better habits and we’ll talk about that a little more later.

Depending on how far away you are from getting an average night’s sleep; the time it will take to get there will vary. For example, if you’re getting about 6 hours of sleep, then it shouldn’t take long to make your sleep even better. But if you’re sleeping only 2-3 hours of maybe 12-13 hours per night, it may take a bit longer.

Once you’ve established your baseline and you know where your goal is,making those small improvements each week will be a little easier to do. You wouldn’t just go from getting 2-3 hours per sleep to magically the next night trying to aim for 7 hours.

Now I’ve heard all the arguments in the world and the most common one is that my students sometimes feel like they’re getting enough sleep and sleeping more is not how their body works. I mean look at some of the stuff you read online - successful people work 24/7 with very little sleep overall.

I was once listening to a podcast with Oprah and Arrianna Huffington ( the founder of Huffington Post) and Arianna was saying that when HuffPost was getting off the ground she would work around the clock and sleep maybe only a few hours each night. She stated this was her biggest regret. Once she started sleeping she started to make less mistakes and the overall quality kept rising. So don’t let the media fool you into thinking sleeping just a little is normal. It’s not good for you, for your brain or for your body in any way.

Let’s move on to the next lecture where I’m going to talk about signs that you’re not getting enough sleep.

There are many signs to look for to know if you're getting too much, too little, or just the right amount of sleep.

Let's talk about signs of too little sleep because that's what the vast majority of people experience in general.

First, do you find yourself falling asleep in strange places during the day? The car, the bus, the theatre, at work on your lunch break? If so, you're not getting enough sleep.

Do you feel groggy, irritated, do you have heavy eyes? What about falling asleep easily while watching TV? When you're body isn't well rested, it's constantly trying to catch up in any way possible.

What about too much sleep? This is a very real concern especially for those who struggle with addiction. Sleeping too much, especially in the middle of the day can lead to insomnia at night. But if you sleep too much your body isn't moving or staying as active as it should be. You're not burning off the calories and it becomes this never ending cycle. You sleep all day, you're up all night because you slept all day and it goes on and on.

Once you start taking your sleep seriously you'll notice that when you get the right amount of sleep, you don't become tired during the day. You will feel refreshed every morning and your overall sleeping patterns will be much smoother than when you weren’t sleeping enough.

The one thing to know when logging your sleep is that the number alone doesn't mean you're getting a good night's sleep. Have you ever slept for 10 hours but felt tired and groggy because you were tossing and turning all night?

There are 5 stages of sleep - it’s essentially in this order: light, light, deep, deep, light. Stage 3 and 4 is where all the work and benefits takes place. During the deep sleep stage, your body is repairing and recovering from all the days of stress. This is also when the human growth hormone is released which is essential to keeping your body healthy and active. If you wake easily throughout the night then you are not getting enough deep sleep. Every time you wake up, your body has to go through each stage over again. So someone who is getting 10 hours of sleep but is hardly getting to deep sleep stage is not the same as someone who is getting 5 hours of deep sleep and 4 of those hours are sleeping deeply. This is why it’s important to not just get the right amount of the sleep but to make sure you are getting high quality uninterrupted sleep. Next we’re going to talk about the health benefits of sleeping too much and too little and then we’ll dive right into strategies and ways you can get better sleep.

Sleeping too much and too little can cause an array of health problems. Ironically, sleeping too much and sleeping too little can both put you at higher risk for diabetes, heart disease, and stroke.

Additionally, when you sleep too much you are also at a higher risk for depression, sadness, and you might be feeling even more tired because your body isn’t getting enough physical activity when you sleep too much. It’s a vicious cycle.

When you sleep too little you are at higher risk for anxiety, agitation, irritation and overall feeling pretty grumpy.

Both sleeping too much and too little puts you at risk for relapse. Why? Well, what do you do when you feel bad? You don’t make good decisions. The goal here is to help you realize how important your sleep is for your recovery so you can feel at your best.

When you get the right amount of sleep you literally add years to your life. Longevity has been linked to good sleeping habits. If you combine good nutrition, fitness and sleep, your recovery and ability to beat your addiction for good is at a much higher chance than if you neglect your physical health in any way.

Let’s talk about how to get a better night’s sleep.

Okay so let’s now talk about the plan. How can you get a better night’s sleep? Lots of ways actually.

First, until you’ve reached your sleep goal, you’ll want to keep a sleep journal. There’s lots of things to journal.

I always like to start with talking about what you can do right now today to start making progress. Now remember, this process is going to take some time so just be patient.

First, now that you know what time you are going to bed, tonight I want you to aim to go to bed 15 minutes earlier. The important thing though is to keep your wake up time the same, even on the weekends.

For example, if you normally go to bed at 1am and wake up at 6am tonight - you will go to bed at 12:45am and wake up at 6am.

Continue to do this every single week until you have established a time where you can reach your goal. For example, let’s say you have a goal of 8 hours (this is pretty normal and average) If you currently go to bed at 1am and wake up at 6am you’re only getting 5 hours of sleep every night. You need to start getting your body used to sleeping more so if you up your bedtime by 15 minutes per week it will take you about 12 weeks to hit the 8 hour mark. If you’re waking up at 6am every day you should have a bedtime around 10pm.

This is where you are going to start.

Now let’s talk about what to do in the meantime.

This week won’t seem so bad right? Just 15 minutes. While you start to work on getting more sleep, let’s talk about how to get better sleep.

First thing to do: Set a sleep ritual. To do this, you’ll want to take time every night to establish a routine right before bed. To start this can be as little as 15 minutes but like your bedtime you’ll want to increase this as the weeks go bye. Ideally, bedtime rituals should be about an hour before bed. Here’s some examples:

Create a reading nook and read on a non lit kindle or a book. Stay away from the screens.

Do some yoga

Listen to some calming music

Meditate

Drink some non-caffeinated tea

Think of this as self-care - this is your team to create some calm and peace in your life. AFter everything you’ve been through it’s important that you take some time for yourself. Not only will this help with your mental health but this will also help with your physical health too. You’ll start to have more energy and combine with fitness and nutrition - your body isn’t going to know what to do.

Alright so go ahead and start thinking of ways to create your sleep ritual and start logging your bedtime. In the next lecture we’ll talk about sleep aids.

A lot of people rely on sleep aids or sleeping pills to fall asleep. I do not recommend this. You are fighting an addiction so it’s important to not trade one addiction for another or if you’re addicted to sleeping pills it’s important to fight both addictions at once. If you do rely on sleep aids, start tapering yourself off now. At first, you’re going to have a really hard time sleeping but if you stick to a routine, establish good sleeping habits and a good ritual it won’t be long before your body will start to understand.

If you are thinking about taking sleep aids because you are having a hard time falling and staying asleep; don’t. Follow this plan, stick with a good diet, and exercise regime and your sleep will work itself out with the use of anything. I say this though but I do know there are healthy non-addictive natural sleep aids you can try if you really feel like you need to : melatonin for example. But use caution and always contact your doctor before doing so.

Sometimes no matter how much you try, getting the right amount of sleep seems impossible. There are medical conditions that cause people to sleep too much or cause insomnia as well as some medications may play a role. I recommend giving it 12 solid weeks of sticking to this sleep plan along with getting good exercise and eating healthy. If after 12 weeks you’re still struggling with your sleep then it’s important to call your doctor. There may be some sort of underlying medical condition that you’re unaware of.

That concludes our section on sleep. We talked about a lot during this lecture. I hope you learned how your sleep will help you during recovery and just how important getting the right amount of sleep is. Go ahead and start now by making sure you are keeping a sleep journal and upping your bedtime this week by 15 minutes. I’d love to hear more about your sleeping ritual so if you’re up for it - post what you do in the Q&A section so other students can get ideas too. Good luck with your sleeping and if you do have any questions you know how to reach us.

Dealing with family and addiction can often be one the most complicated pieces to your recovery. Your family  has likely had a huge impact on your addiction and recovery both good and bad. While for some of you - your family may have been the cause of your addiction, others may have family who are there and rooting for your success. Most of you likely have family on both sides of the spectrum. We’re going to talk about how we recognize you don’t get to choose your family - and therefore there are different approaches to those who are supporting you through this process and those who may be hindering your success. I’ll talk about when to walk away, how to regain your family’s trust and what it takes to work towards healthier relationships. Let’s get started.

So the title of the course says a lot - you don’t have a choice on who your family is. You don’t get to pick and choose who you’re related to or what family you belong. With that being said, you do need to recognize the different approaches you may take with each and every family member you have.

There’s a specific bond that most people have with certain family members - these bonds are unique in that even when the relationships are put through the wringer the desire to repair and continue a strong healthy relationship is always there.

You may not know where each family member stands and there will be a lot of gray areas as you start to think about your family but just know that while you are taking care of yourself, you might need to make some hard choices in order to protect your sobriety. These choices can range from taking a break from toxic family members to owning up to your mistakes with those who love and support you - neither are easy.

Let’s talk now about how to recognise a good family member.

Recognizing good family can often be clouded. Maybe while you were addicted your family cut you off or didn’t agree to enable. That doesn’t mean that their love for you was any less - it just means that their love was so strong that they couldn’t continue to watch your destructiveness.

What I want you to do today, is to make a list of family members who have been there for you through all this - emotionally, physically, etc. Don’t confuse this though with not enabling. This should be a list of those who you want to make amends with, those who you know would be there for you through thick and thin.

Once you’ve made this list, start working on repairing relationships. The easiest way to start the conversation is to send a text - let them know that you appreciate everything they’ve ever done for you and if they know about your addiction you can let them know that you’re working hard on your recovery. From there - see where the conversations take you.

It won’t be easy but it’s a start. You do have to be prepared for people to be suspicious of your trust and that’s okay! Repairing relationships doesn’t happen over night. Some family members may want to see you in action - and this takes time. For now, just send the text.

We talked about good family members and now we need to talk about those who are “not so good” and when I say not so good I’m talking about not so good for you. Not saying they’re not good people because that would a little disingenuous for me to presume.

What I am talking about though is that some of you may have family members that have put so much pressure and strain in your life that it causes you to continue to want to use or partake in your addiction.

These could be family members who use or partake in the same addiction as you and just not ready to get help yet or these could be family members who abuse, belittle, or cause so much drama that it triggers you and puts your recovery in jeopardy.

So, for now, just make a list of who those family members are. Don’t hold back on the list or second guess this - nobody’s going to see this so you don't’ have to worry about hurt feelings or needing to take action. This is for your eyes only so trust your gut. We’ll talk in a little bit about what to do with toxic family members. For now, make the list and I’ll see you in the next lecture.

Okay so by now you should be thinking about labeling your family in one of two groups: toxic or helpful.  In this lecture I want to give you some tips on how to approach those who are genuinely there to support you; your helpful family.

When looking at your list, there’s a reason you put those family members in the helpful bucket. Maybe it’s because they have always been there for you, maybe it’s because they have shown you tough love or maybe it’s just a feeling you have about them, knowing that their presence will help guide you through your recovery path.

Whatever those reasons are, it’s important to hold onto and and cradle what you have. At first, things will be complicated. They always are. But now is the time to start working towards rebuilding those relationships and being careful not to push anyone away while doing so.

You have to open your mind and your heart and try to put yourself in their shoes and not get offended if things don’t go exactly how you’d want them to.

For example, let’s say your dad is on the list because you just know deep down your dad loves you and no matter what happens he’ll always be there for you. However, you also might know that you’ve hurt  your dad over the years so his trust may not be there. So, let’s say you call up your dad to ask a favor - maybe it’s borrowing money or time. If your dad says no right away, that’s okay and it’s normal. There’s no reason to get upset or mad or expect your dad to just brush off everything that’s ever happened. You’re going to need patience and time to prove yourself reliable and honest again. Now replace dad with whoever else is on your list - the same applies. Mom, aunt, brother, sister.

The best thing you can do is be present, be kind, and always follow through with your word. If this family knows about your addiction and knows you’re getting help then let them in on your path - your hopes, dreams, and even your daily struggles. But whatever you do, don’t get upset with them, don’t try to defend your position, just try to be present and calm. I know this is easier said than done but it’s what needs to happen in order for you to not lose the family who is and will be there for you no matter what.  

Alright so now we’re going to talk about what to do with those family members who may not be so helpful. See you in the next lecture.

We talked earlier in the course about identifying those family members who are toxic. Now that you’ve identified who those family members are I want to talk to you about when enough is enough and when to walk away.

So there are times when you will have and recognize that family members are toxic and you can just not be around them but some of you may have family where you can’t just distance yourself. In that case, you might have to make hard decisions like walking away.

Here’s how to know when you have to walk away:

1. If that family member doesn’t allow you to reach a state of sobriety. For example, let’s say you’re trying hard to quit your addiction and your cousin is coming over every day exposing you or asking you to partake in your drug, alcohol, or behavior.

2. If that family member causes you to want to relapse. For example, let’s say you have quit your drug of choice but a family member is emotionally abusing you so much that you feel like you have to use or partake in your addictive behavior just to escape the reality you’re living in.

If you have a family member that meets either of these two scenarios, it’s important to cut ties and walk away. Now I’m not talking forever because everyone has the ability to change but cut ties for a time that allows you to gain sober moments. If you’re unsure of how long that time is - it’s different for everyone - start with a minimum of 30 days.

If it reaches this point, it’s critical - I would call this a crisis - and you must do whatever it takes to walk away. If you have to leave your home - take that leap and do that. If you have to kick someone out then do that. AT the end of the day your sobriety should come first. Without your sobriety you can’t live and function in a way that is healthy, happy or productive.

I know and realize this is much easier said than done. But make plans now and follow through. Whatever your situation is, always know that your success will be much higher when you take your own self seriously and distant yourself from those who aren’t good for your or your sobriety.

Okay so now know what to do with your good family members and know when to walk away from toxic family members.  Now, for those who are left, the ones your are opening your hearts to, the family that you trust and know will support you through just about anything - how do you regain their trust?

Regaining trust with those who you have lost trust with, doesn’t happen overnight. It’s going to take time but more importantly, your family is going to want to see actionable progress not just hear you say you’ve got this or i’m sorry.

There are two main ways to regain trust.

The first way may seem too simple but really it isn’t. It’s also the way that take the most amount of time. It’s simply not partaking in your addiction.  Your family wants to see you present wants to know you’re there, ever single day and the only way to do that is to not use or partake in your addictive behavior. Now there’s no timeline for this as every family is different and there are too many factors that play into this such as history, family dynamics and so on. But if you don’t partake in your addictive behavior then that part of it will slowly start to dissipate over time.

The second way is to have a good attitude. This may also sound simple but in reality it’s much harder when there are so many things thrown your way day in and day out. But if you’re just not using but still treating your family like shit - that’s not going to do anything. So if you really want to regain your family’s trust, the fastest way is to be positive, polite and courteous with them. Step up and help when you can, don’t complain about things even if you’re agitated and there’s stuff to complain about. Think before you say things and know when to back down. Every time you’re angry, upset, or rude it’s just another dig which will then take that much longer to get the trust you need and deserve.

Okay so to recap: don’t use or partake in your addictive behavior and have a good attitude. Next, we’ll talk about working towards healthier relationships.

Okay so by now you should have started to really analyze each of your family members and know where everyone stands. Some of your family members may be toxic while others you are working hard to regain their trust. But what about everyone in between? Maybe those who have just been there; neither good nor bad.

Part of your recovery process and a way for you to come out even stronger is going to be working towards positive healthy relationships with everyone you come into contact with; especially your family. So here are some tips that you can start using today to strengthen family ties or bonds.

1. Understand that it’s not always about you. While yes, you’re the one going through the addiction it’s important to also understand that everyone has their own struggles. A good way to strengthen a relationship is to be genuinely interested in what other family members are up to. So actively listen, ask questions, and have input on their lives too.

2. Be present. Whenever you’re with a family member, make sure you are really there. Not just in the room but there and engaged. A lot of people miss stuff that’s going on around them by simply being somewhere else. To do this; the best thing you can do is to put your phone down and take in whatever’s going on around you. Showing up is half the battle.

3. Give back. When I say give back, I’m talking about being the helpful person. Offer to help someone move. Offer to babysit, offer to give someone a ride. Do all of these things with no expectation that the favor will be returned to you. Now I say this and I want to be clear about something. We talked about toxic family members earlier and a toxic family member would be someone who is trying to take advantage of you. So for example, if you have a brother who is constantly asking you to babysit even though they know you’re going through a tough time or maybe you have a cousin is always asking you for rides but doesn’t care to ask about you or be involved in yoru life then that would be someone you need a break form or someone you at least need to set boundaries. When I talk about giving back, I’m talking about helping out with those who are genuinely there for you each and every day and you know that if you were ever in a pickle they’d do the same for you.

Alright so now you have a solid plan for building strong relationships. See in you in the next lecture when we conclude.

Alright so that’s a wrap. We know you can’t choose your family but we also know that you are free to make things stronger or to walk away. That’s why we talked about recognizing both good family and toxic family members. We talked about knowing when to walk away and how to regain trust and strengthen ties with those who you know are there for you always. I hope this gave you some insight on how this all ties into your addiction and how making those hard choices can often be the reason you succeed in your sobriety. 

Welcome to Faithful Friendships in Recovery We’re going to talk about how your friendships have an impact on your addiction and recovery. We’ll talk about why friendships are so important, sign of healthy and unhealthy friendships and when you may need to walk away. In addition, we’ll talk about how to keep a healthy friendship strong while you’re in recovery and how to regain the trust of friends who you may have lost trust with while partaking in your addiction. Let’s get started!

Friendships are so important when you are dealing with an addiction. Oftentimes the true colors will come out and you’ll be faced with hard decisions. If you have friends who do not partake in your addiction; those who you met before your addiction started, it’s important to analyze those relationships to see how you can keep them close and near you, how you can lean on them for support, and work on strengthening those relationships. On the flip side though, you do need to be careful. You need to make sure that your friendships are healthy or your path through sobriety may be at risk. Let’s dive a little deeper and talk about signs of an unhealthy relationship.

The people you are surrounding yourself with will dictate how well your recovery is going. If you’re serious about breaking your addiction forever you need to create space around your thoughts so that you can be receptive to information you may not want to see, hear, or do. But it’s important.

Unhealthy friendships will not help your recovery one bit. If you have a friend who is constantly justifying your behavior or trying to make you feel good about what you do, that is a huge red flag. You are here because you know you need to quit your addiction - your friends should be supportive of that 100% so if they aren’t, it’s not a friendship you should be involved with right now.

If you have a friend who also partakes in your addiction with or without you and can’t go anywhere without doing it then that’s another sign of an unhealthy friendship. For example, if your addiction is alcohol and your friend can’t visit or go anywhere without drinking then that’s a problem. If your addiction is video games or social media and your friend can’t do anything else but that - then that’s a problem too.

A huge red flag is if you have a friend who discourages you from getting help. A friend that says, “Seriously? Everybody does xyx - you don’t have a problem.” Please be cautious of those friends. That is not okay and every friend you have should be supporting you through your recovery.

If you have a friend who is constantly peer pressuring you to do more of your drug of choice, alcohol, or behavior or if you have a friend whose life revolves around your specific addiction then that’s another reason to be apprehensive. And last, if you have a friend who is threatening to end your friendship if you stop your addictive behavior then that’s not a friendship worth trying to even keep.

With all that being said, you may need to make some hard choices. Let’s talk about when to walk away.

Identifying an unhealthy friendship is pretty straightforward but knowing when to walk away may not be and there are many different factors that play a role in this decision. Just because the relationship is unhealthy, doesn’t always mean you need to walk away. Some friends may adjust their behaviors once they find out you’re breaking your addiction. For example, let’s say you’re addicted to opioids and you had a friend who was using too and would discourage you to get help. However, now that they know you’re stopping your addiction they’ve decided to get their own help as well. In that case you wouldn’t want to walk away and could cautiously use each other for support. On the flip side, let’s say that friend still tells you that you don’t have a problem and comes by with pills or whatever and tries to pressure you to get high with them even knowing you’re stance, you might have to flat out tell that you cannot be their friend anymore. There is no friendship in the world that means more than your recovery. What I mean by that is that is that a real honest true friend would never put you in a situation where you’d even have to think about walking away. It’s time you put yourself first. You’re worth it.   

Having healthy friendships can be a lifeline to sobriety. As we’ve been talking about unhealthy and toxic friendships and when to walk away it’s also important to talk about healthy friendships. It’s not uncommon for people who are fighting an addiction to feel like they have no friends when they start recovery. Loneliness is one of the main reasons people relapse. Therefore, it’s important for you to know that this may happen so you can be fully prepared mentally and know that it’s completely normal. But if you stick with it, you’ll start to eventually make sober friends and be able to re-strengthen those relationships that you had with friends who were not bad nor toxic - the ones who are were there for you before, who are there for you now and those who are genuinely rooting for you success.

If you have friends who do not partake in whatever addiction it is you’re fighting and who want to see you succeed then it’s important to hang on to those friendships. If you don’t though, just know that this is a normal part of the process. For some of you, all of your friendships may have based around your addiction and you might have to walk away completely. It’s like starting over with a clean slate. While in recovery, as you work through the process and start taking action you’ll eventually start to meet like minded people through different hobbies you may be taking up, maybe you’ll join an in-person support group, or maybe you’ll just meet new people with the same interests as you through apps or whatnot. Some of you may have a solid family and that might be all you need for now. The rest will come later and in time.

In the next lecture we’ll talk about how to keep your healthy friendships strong in recovery.

You heard me just talk about knowing when a friendship is worth hanging on to and that’s if you have a friend or friends who don’t partake in whatever it is you’re addicted to, who have always been there for you in the past, who is there for you now and who is genuinely rooting for your success. Those are friends to hold onto. But in order for them to continue to be your friend you’ll need to know that it won’t be easy for them just like maintaining a solid friendship in recovery isn’t going to be easy for you. I want to talk to you about how you can be sure your friends continue to stay your friends.

First off, it’s important that you communicate with your friends about where you’re at. Nobody is a mind reader and if you’re having a bad day, struggling wtih triggers or post acute withdrawal syndrome, and you feel like you’re going to snap at someone anytime, it’s probably best to keep your distance but don’t blow anyone off without telling them why. For example, let’s say you have lunch plans with your best friend but you wake up crabby as heck and you know if you go to lunch you’ll probably end up saying or doing something crabby. In that case it’s best that you tell your friend what’s giong on and then make plans to reschedule. If you keep it all inside, how do they know not to take it personally if you lash out on them or if you skip the lunch without texting? They won’t know that and that could put your friendship in jeopardy.

Another thing to think about when maintaining good high quality friendships while in recovery is understanding that you no longer should be putting yourself first. I now that sounds counteruntiutive from what we were talking about earlier but what I mean is that when it comes to toxic and unhealthy friendships you should absolutely be thinking about yourself and your sobriety. But when it comes to healthy solid friendships, you know that those friends won’t jeopardise your sobriety so you’ll want to maintain those friendships by realizing that a friendship is a give and take. If you make everything about you then they’ll get annoyed and eventually they’ll be the ones walking away or distancing themselves. So while you should be leaning on them for support try also letting them lean on you as much as they need. You’ll never know what they’re really going through or how they really feel unless you ask. So for example, if you’re meeting up with your friend for lunch and the entire conversation is about you and your recovery try to recognize that as it’s happening and at some point try to turn the conversation around on them and be genuine about it too. You don’t want to spend 45 minutes talking about you and then realize 5 minutes before you have to go that you haven’t talked or been interested in them and then say so how’s it going with you? Up well time to leave. That’s not cool. The best thing you can do is to start the conversation about them - ask them what they’ve been up to, how’s their sick grandpa or how having they been handling the death of their dog? Etc.

In the next lecture I’m going to talk about how to regain trust with those friends who you may have lost trust with.

Now I want you to think about your friends - the good ones, the ones you want to keep around but maybe they’re hesitant to let you back into their life. You’ll want to start regaining their trust. Now I say this but be cautious about this though. When you think about the normal trajectory of a friendship, it’s common to have friends that come and go throughout your life so if you have a friend whom you think you want to continue a friendship but they’ve drifted away due to your addiction, you should certainly try to reach out and do things to regain their trust but try not worry too much if you’re not getting any results. People change and friendships grow apart so feeling like you’re drifting away from someone may have nothing really to do with your addiction but more about the natural coming and going of a friendship.

But if you have a friendship where the other person lost trust in you while you were struggling with an addiction to regain their trust you’ll need patience and compassion. When I say patience I’m talking about the age old saying of time heals all wounds. By simply not taking part in your addiction will show your friends that actions speak louder than words. On top of that you’ll want to show up, live in the present when with them and be sure to step up when needed. If they need a favor or need someone to talk to, be there. The trust will gradually start to accumulate over time.

Great work on completing Faithful Friendships in Recovery

Now that we’ve talked about the importance of friendships and knowing when enough is enough you should have the tools and confidence you need to make smart decisions about the future of your friendships. If you’re feeling unsure about what to do in a particular situation reach out in the Q&A section to get advice from other students. As always, we’re here for you.

Whether you’re in school or have a solid career, your addiction has made an impact on where you stand today. Unlike family and friends, your approach to how you handle your professional relationships can either help or hinder your future success. We’re going to talk about how there is no one size fits all approach but rather ways to read the room and understand your current situation. We’ll then talk about different ways you can talk about your addiction, having back up plans and when and if you need to distance yourself from toxic coworkers or classmates. We’ll also talk about how to know if going higher up would be necessary and how to tell if you need to start searching for a new job or school. Let’s get started.   

When fighting an addiction there’s never a one size fits all category and that’s what makes professional working or educational relationships that much more complicated. Some people have great relationships with their co-workers and can trust confiding in them while others may put their careers in jeopardy by doing so. Some people work for companies where they are protected by a union a HR while others risk getting fired if their company found out about their addiction. Before saying anything to anyone, if that’s what you choose to do, it’s critical that you know the ramifications of doing so. It may help you to be honest or honesty may cause you to get fired on the spot. Does anyone even need to know about your addiction or will an explanation of your behavior portray you as honest and forthcoming? You need to read the room, know your rights, and understand all possible outcomes before taking any action.

Everyone will fall into one of two categories when it comes to each professional relationship you have: you either tell them about your addiction or you don’t. With that being said, each professional relationship you have may need a different approach. Some people you may want to tell while others you may not want or need to tell.

We talked in the last lecture about reading the room and knowing your rights, understanding if it’s safe to talk about it or even necessary. Let me give you some examples.

Let’s say you work for a small organization with no HR, in a right to work state, and you’ve been struggling with a pornography addiction. Your addiction has caused you to lose focus on work. Part of you may want to talk to your boss to tell them you’re taking the steps now to fight your addiction but you’ll need to think about that decision and whether or not the risk is worth it. Don’t just think short term though like yes, you may lose your job but think long term. Would losing your job cause you to feel triggered and then have a relapse? In a case like this, it may not be a good idea to talk about your addiction.

Another example would be let’s say you work for a large organization that has an HR and maybe even a union. Let’s say your addiction has been affecting your work and you are in jeopardy of being fired. Some large organizations have programs and confidential support programs that can help and even protect you from getting fired if you’re honest and open. In a case like that it may be in your best to talk to somebody.

There are lots of others in between scenarios to think about too. Some of you may not want to talk to anybody but may have an addiction to alcohol. Going out drinking at Happy Hour on Friday is part of company culture. In a case like this would you tell someone? That’s a tough judgement call but we recommend, when it comes to alcohol to talk to your co-workers about your not drinking. Depending on your comfort level you can say you had a problem and you’re not drinking anymore or you can blame it on something else but not saying anything at all will give your co-workers a sudden cause for concern and speculation will only arise. Did she stop coming because she doesn’t like us? Nobody is a mind reader so being professional honest, when possible is a good policy to live by.

You might be in a situation where you were partaking in your addiction with your classmates or co-workers but aren’t ready to tell them the whole truth and to be honest, when it comes to professional relationships it’s really none of their business why you stopped drinking or smoking or whatever. If you find yourself needing to have excuses because well, it’s the workforce and that’s just reality it’s a good idea to have backup plans always in your pocket. If a coworker you’re used to drinking with or smoking weed, or using cocaine with asks you to go out on Friday, if you’re not ready with a backup plan you may be tempted to go out, telling yourself you won’t partake. That’s a dangerous situation to be in. We recommend that for at least 30 days you don’t put yourself in a situation that can jeopardize your sobriety. So what kinds of things can you say?

Maybe you have family in town, have a birthday party to go to, have someone coming over to do work on your house, etc. Just make note of things and practice how to say them so you don’t get caught off the guard. The more practice you have the more natural it will feel. Don’t worry too much about the lying part. You have to do what you have to do in order to protect your sobriety.

My favorite excuse is to use the medical one. I’m on medication that doesn’t allow me to drink, smoke, etc. Not many people will question that.

After 30 days, you’ll notice that the pressure will calm down a bit but it will still be there. You can then decide where you’re at with everything and then slowly integrate yourself back into the professional yet social side of the workforce. Perhaps after time you’ll get comfortable with just saying I don’t do xyz anymore. Your co-workers should respect you for that.

Toxic co-workers can cause so much distress and turmoil especially when tackling an addiction. We’ve all dealt with toxic co-workers or classmates at some point in our lives but when those toxic people start to interfere with your sobriety or your ability to stay away from your addiction it’s important to recognize that and do what it takes to keep your distance. Toxicity doesn’t generally just go away on it’s own so waiting it out to see if things get better secretly hoping they quit or change schools or jobs  is never a good idea. If there is a person or people in your professional life who are making you miserable do whatever it takes to distance yourself. If that mean changing classes if you’re in school or changing departments at your work then take immediate action to do so. Your ability to fight your addiction and fight it for good depends on you having solid and healthy relationships and that includes professional relationships too.   

You may be trying to fight your addiction but sometimes work or school is what consistently causes you to feel triggered or have a relapse. We talked about how to distance yourself from toxic coworkers or classmates but we also recognize that sometimes it’s not that easy. We also talked about being able to understand your rights, knowing what’s available and accessible to you and just having an overall sense of whether or not talking to others about your addiction will be safe. Now I want to talk to you about what to do if you feel like you have exhausted all of your options and you’re in position where someone, multiple people, or even the work itself is so stressful that you feel like if something doesn’t change drastically you may be putting your ability to fight your addiction, your sobriety or even your career on the line. Before it gets to that breaking point you may have to talk to someone. Now I don’t necessarily mean that you have to talk to someone about your addiction and that’s something that you’ll need to decide for yourself but what I am talking about is talking to someone about work related issues so that they can get resolved before it’s too late. It’s better to take action now because it doesn’t always get easier.

So if this is you and you’re really struggling at work or school start to think about who you can talk to, what you’re going to say, and when you can take action.

For example, let’s say your addiction is alcohol and you work for a medium sized firm. You have a small HR but overall get the feeling that nobody would really understand your addiction fully. Let’s say you have a co-worker who is constantly belittling you, stealing your work and overall just bringing on a negative vibe. If switching departments is not an option and you don’t feel like you can talk to your boss about it you may want to consider going to HR to see what your options are. All they need to know is how this person is affecting your ability to work and they would need concrete examples of how this person is making your work experience miserable.

Some of you may feel comfortable going to your boss or your teacher and asking them for general advice or help but my advice to you is to not just try and stick it out. If you do that you will end up putting your recovery at risk. Making positive changes in your life is what will set you up for long term success.

We’ve talked about all these things you can try doing to have better relationships and a better environment at work but what if nothing changes and no matter how hard you try you just keep feeling like you’re treading water. That’s a quite common place to be in when fighting an addiction. Sometimes when you are fighting an addiction you have to think about making big changes and one of those changes may be looking for a new job or a new school especially if your work situation is connected to your addiction in any way.

When making the decision to find a new job or a new school it’s important to not make any impulsive decisions. Sometimes we can get so worked up about the current situation that we fail to see the bigger picture. But what you can do is start taking the steps you need  to make this change.

Think about the end result and where you want to be. Do you need to change jobs? If so, what type of job would you be looking for and what steps can you take to do this? Maybe it’s connecting with recruiters, applying for jobs online or talking to people in the industry. Do you need to switch schools if you're a student? Is it possible to stick it out to the end of the semester while you apply to a different school as opposed to dropping out right now?

Think this through and take action now. New beginnings may be in order.

That’s it for professional relationships. We talked about a lot here and I hope you feel empowered and have the tools you now need to make some solid professional changes if needed. Your professional career is important and you shouldn’t have to give anything up or take any steps backwards just because of your past experiences and in fact, when tackling certain situations head on while stopping your addiction may actually help  your career or education soar. Good luck to you!