30 Days to Loving Dignity

Name: 30 Days to Loving Dignity
Rating: 5.0 (1 reviews)

Christian love is—no joke!—actually good news.

Created byHeather Caliri

Last updated 11/2021

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What you'll learn

You'll process the resentment, frustration and pain you’re feeling in a key relationship.
You'll recognize the ways passivity, punitive behavior, and even spiritualizing your problems are chipping away at yours’ and others’ dignity.
You'll affirm that loving dignity is possible in every circumstance, with practical, kind action.
You'll take a practical, safe, and kind step towards changing your relationship..

Course content

4 sections • 21 lectures • 3h 38m total length

Session 1.1: Overview and About Me9:16
How does seeking health in a dysfunctional family change you? I found out when I got honest about my family's abusiveness.

Note: If you haven't already, I suggest downloading and completing the pre-course worksheet before beginning the video.
Also, download the workbook and print it early in the course; it will help you take notes during each session. It also contains (optional!) homework for you to complete each week. I will include the download for the workshop in all sections of Session 1.
Session 1.2: Love Means Mutual Flourishing13:21
God's design for relationships is that EVERY person involved should flourish. Yes, that means you, too. In this session, we'll unpack some of the ways we assume love will erase us or make us unhappy--and build a more holistic and life-affirming story of what it means to love people (and ourselves!) well.
Session 1.3: (But Flourishing May Not Look Like We Expect)7:01
We all DESERVE to be treated kindly and with respect. But what if your person is simply NEVER going to treat you that way? Is healing possible? (Pro tip: YES.) Get ready for the tough but freeing truth of honest-to-God healthy relationships.
Session 1.4: Love is Deep Peace and Safety; Love Is Honest and Vulnerable8:36
Love is deep peace and safety, a foundation for mutual flourishing in relationships. It urges honest, vulnerable dialogue about pain and conflict, guided by safety that enables repair.
Session 1.5: Burning Relationship Questions8:23
In the final lecture of each session, I explore how we can apply what we've learned in the course to real life relationship quandaries. Today, C wonders how to have a healthy relationship with her husband, whose criticism, defensiveness and explosive temper make resolving conflict difficult.

Session 2.1: Overview and About Me6:44
Would it shock you to know I once was abusive? Recognizing my own bad choices was key to learning to love people better.
Session 2.2: Abuse Is a Spectrum, Not a Sicko in an Alleyway7:25
We often think of abusive people as monsters. But recognizing what abuse actually is makes it clear that we ALL fall into abusive patterns sometimes...and that we ALL have the chance to get healthier.
Session 2.3: Recognizing Past Abuse; From Enabling to Naming12:52
We come by our unhealthy behavior honestly—it usually helped us get by (or even survive) in childhood. Once we recognize those roots, we can begin naming unhealthy dynamics instead of enabling them.
Session 2.4: From Shame to Radical Acceptance; From Punishment to Dignity12:27
When we guard ourselves against shaming people that hurt us, we stand in our dignity and affirm theirs. Once we let go of the arsenal of punishment, we learn loving—and more effective—ways of standing up for ourselves.
Session 2.5: Burning Relationship Questions13:01
T felt kicked in the gut by the way her sister treated her during a family crisis. She asks, "Can I be a good Christian and feel resentful and angry? Or should I be more loving and give her grace?"

Session 3.1: Overview and My Story10:40
I'm excellent at reading people's emotions. So I was shocked when I realized my emotional spidey-sense was completely wrong—making it impossible to communicate well with my husband.
Session 3.2: Our Stories Tell Us. Noticing Unhealthy Stories17:14
The stories we tell ourselves about our circumstances shape our lives in powerful ways. But how do you know if your storytelling is healthy—or even true?
Session 3.3: Kind Stories Are Ninja Moves9:23
You'd think we'd all want to tell kind stories. But even though accepting situations as they are is an incredibly powerful step towards healing, it also opens us up to grief and loss.
Session 3.4: Practicing Kind Stories; Telling Kind Stories About Ourselves16:28
Here are some gentle questions to ask yourself to explore whether the stories you're telling about your relationship are helpful. Practicing kind acceptance with yourself AND others will free you from shame and despair.
Session 3.5: Burning Relationship Questions9:08
A's mother-in-law keeps offering unsolicited and inappropriate advice about her parenting. Will a letter she and her husband wrote her change anything?

Session 4:1: The surprising truth I learned about real, lasting change10:09
Looking for a wholesale change in your relationships? I sure was. But to my surprise, real change came more easily (but more slowly) than I expected.
Session 4.2: Care for Yourself7:21
What does napping have to do with your toughest relationship? The answer might surprise you.
Session 4.3: Stay Safe and Get Professional Help11:16
You might feel stuck in a relationship because rocking the boat is actually dangerous. Take your gut seriously. Also, I demystify what therapy is actually FOR (hint: it might not involve contemplating your childhood for five years.)
Session 4.4: Read a Book (or other resource)6:28
Here's why I shy away from Christian materials and have to stop reading every parenting book.
Session 4.5: Have a Kind Conversation12:12
Turns out talking to people is FULL OF PITFALLS. Here are some guidelines for the toughest conversations.
Session 4.6: Your Burning Questions9:11
J's daughter treats her poorly. The worst part is, J completely understands why.

Requirements

I'll start where you are, and make understanding loving dignity in relationships a gentle spiritual practice during our month together.

Description

Do you believe it's possible to love like Jesus and not feel like a doormat? Or is practicing loving-kindness an invitation to resentful martyrdom? The truth is that in Christian culture, we often confuse love with enabling, politeness, and codependence. So how do we see our relationships with new eyes?

In this course, you’ll learn to lovingly affirm yours’ and others’ dignity, while taking practical actions that won't let people walk all over you.

This course is for you if you have ever:

Wondered why "loving like Jesus" makes you feel bitter, angry or resentful.
Assumed you're a terrible Christian because you're struggling with unhealthy relationships.
Tried to love people well...only to feel used.

I’d love to help you:

Admit the resentment, frustration and pain you’re feeling in a key relationship.
Recognize the ways you may be unintentionally chipping away at yours’ and others’ dignity.
Affirm that loving dignity is possible in every circumstance.
Take a practical, safe, and kind step towards loving people like Jesus.

I’ll talk about my own struggles with candor, point out Christian culture’s occasional tone-deafness about emotional and relational health and—heads up—drop a cuss word once or twice.

Work your way through this four-hour self-paced course 10-15 minutes at a time.

The downloadable workbook will help you take notes during the sessions and journal your thoughts afterwards, and provides suggested resource lists for further study and help.

Who this course is for:

Christians confused and frustrated that their faith does not seem to be helping them have thriving, kind, and honest relationships.

30 Days to Loving Dignity

What you'll learn

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Course content

Love Is Actually Good News5 lectures • 47min

Name Not-Loving5 lectures • 52min

Tell Kinder Stories5 lectures • 1hr 3min

Take Intentional Action6 lectures • 57min

Requirements

Description

Who this course is for: