Parenting Skill:10 Positive Things to Say to Your Children

Develop assertive, sensitive parental authority to teach respect, counter insecure parenting, and guide children through clear boundaries and sensitive communication.

Explore the consumer culture of childhood, where children are consumers and parents broker community services. The lecture argues that children should actively contribute to families and communities to be citizens.

Critique the therapeutic culture of parenting that turns parents into junior therapists and cites 1970s parent effectiveness training and Thomas Jordan, while arguing strong attachment and assertive parenting foster resilience.

Explore a middle-ground parenting strategy that preserves authority without authoritarianism and uses calm, constructive language when teens seek autonomy, illustrated by a real kitchen moment.

Assert the right to respect with calm eye contact responses when children test boundaries. Use a firm, nondefensive tone to address phone use and disrespectful questions, reinforcing respectful parent-child communication.

Teach respect to younger children by modeling polite dinner behavior, enforcing clear politeness standards, and guiding kids to restate requests before receiving items.

Anger is a normal emotion that signals change is needed; being entirely anger-free makes parents wishy-washy and impotent, risking verbal or physical abuse toward children.

Explore why occasional parental anger is necessary, and observe how a parent balances calm, rational guidance with firm boundaries to protect a child near danger.

Explore problematic parenting advice and learn from parent effectiveness training to calmly express fear, such as 'I get very scared when I see you,' and assess the child's response.

Set a clear family policy on respect, encourage children to express their opinions respectfully, and respond promptly to disrespect with calm, firm discipline and appropriate timeouts.

Explore the consequences approach in parenting, using choices and escalating consequences to prompt cooperation. Recognize that future consequences can be weak and occasional firm power assertions may be needed.

Practice appropriate power assertion by naming the child and approaching firmly, then discuss calmly later to promote cooperation.

Explore the responsibilities and reciprocal obligations of parents to children, examining how family environment and economic externalities shape children's rights, education, and future outcomes.

Define basic principles of parental responsibility in medical decisions for children, including consent to treatment, access to health records, and involving the child in care decisions as they mature.