How to Handle Difficult People
4.1 (13 ratings)
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How to Handle Difficult People

Struggling to deal with a difficult person at work and it's affecting your career? This course teaches you what to do.
4.1 (13 ratings)
Instead of using a simple lifetime average, Udemy calculates a course's star rating by considering a number of different factors such as the number of ratings, the age of ratings, and the likelihood of fraudulent ratings.
176 students enrolled
Created by Peter Urey
Last updated 3/2015
Curiosity Sale
Current price: $10 Original price: $20 Discount: 50% off
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
  • 1 hour on-demand video
  • Full lifetime access
  • Access on mobile and TV
  • Certificate of Completion
What Will I Learn?
  • Spot when you are behaving emotionally and becoming unreasonable.
  • Pause before making a rash decision to confront or withdraw.
  • Structure a professional conversation to get the key issues out for discussion without generating animosity or ill feeling.
  • Approach the difficult person with diplomatic skill.
  • Frame the intended outcome of restoring reasonableness for all concerned.
  • State what you see and hear, how it makes you think and feel and how you interpret events and want to act as a result
  • Allow the other party to do the same and get their perspective.
  • Negotiate a way to return to the preferred state of working together.
  • Reach a resolution about policing and reviewing you agreement.
  • Hear the words used to do all the above in a practice session.
View Curriculum
  • Be aware of the situations which make you flare up at work.
  • Have a friend who is able to listen to you rehearse if you need practice.
  • Consider as many prior situations as you can where you have dealt with difficult people and consider if any recurring patterns emerge.
  • Have a desire to work in an environment where people are reasonable with each other in all circumstances.

If you are dealing with a bully, a gossip, an unreliable or difficult person at work and it's affecting your well being then this course is for you.

Knowing how to deal with difficult people is critical to keeping your career on track.

We teach a simple three step model called Flare Care Share.

You will learn about the triggers which send you into an emotional state - that's when you flare up and move towards feelings of violence or silence.

We teach you how to avoid entering into a career limiting confrontation or a damaging funk of avoidance and self loathing. This is the care phase.

In the share phase, you will learn how to initiate a dialogue in a professional way and hold a conversation which can lead to an improved outcome without animosity. You will be able to effortlessly restore good order and benefit both you and the other person.

The course is mostly video with supporting bullet point notes. We also include some practice material so that you can hear and repeat the wording which works before taking it into the workplace. You will learn the basic technique in about one hour.

Three imagined scenarios are addressed - a bully, a gossip and an unreliable person.

We stress that it's only practice that will embed the method but we will give you support if you message us via the Udemy message feature.

Who is the target audience?
  • People who work in a corporate or large business environment.
  • People who feel that they are being bullied and don't know where else to go for support and advice
  • People who feel they are being unfair victims of gossip.
  • People are being let down by unreliable colleagues.
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Curriculum For This Course
Overview and Objectives
1 Lecture 03:37

Summary outline of the Flare Care Share Technique and where and how you can apply it.

Preview 03:37
Flare - the emotional reaction stage.
3 Lectures 12:06

Spotting how and why you move into a vulnerable state which can limit your career.

Preview 04:08

Developing your understanding of what drives the emotions to move to Silence or Violence.

Preview 03:56

Concluding our observations about the way instinct can be overridden by the intellect.

Flare Part 3 - how the brain works
Care - buying time to respond and not to react.
1 Lecture 02:28

Learning to care for your health and well being and that of the people around you and especially the difficult person.

Care Part 1 caring for yourself and the other person
Share - getting two sides of the story and a favourable resolution for all.
7 Lectures 37:40

Overview of the Share phase.

Share - Overview

Share - Approaching the Difficult Person

Hear the words which you might use in a really tough situation with a bullying boss.

Share - Worked Example with a Bullying Boss

Stating what you see and hear and how it makes you think and feel and want to act in a methodical and non-threatening way.

Conversation - starting to lay out your story

Handling the rapid flow of ideas, judging intent and working towards a way to bring both parties back to common ground.

Negotiation - active listening and mutual benefit

Making sure that you police the agreement, know what to measure to keep it health and review it at appropriate intervals.

Resolution - you are only as good as what you measure

Practice your approach and conversation by listening to sample phrases from typical scenarios.

Practice by listening
1 Lecture 02:19
About the Instructor
Peter Urey
3.9 Average rating
247 Reviews
11,312 Students
20 Courses
Business Coaching Courses for when it's hard to ask for help

1. There are many times in life when we know we need some guidance but it's tough to ask for help.

2. Fear of what others might think, pride or embarrassment can hold us back.

3. Our courses deal with subjects which are difficult to talk about to your boss or other people.

              * Motivation
              * Bullying
              * Dealing with difficult people
              * Confidence
              * Anxiety about basic skills
              * Alcohol issues

We offer the soft skills for hard times

4. They are affordable and accessible any time and any place on the internet.

5. You can learn in total privacy.

6. We are on-hand to offer personal support via Skype should you need it. We've been where you are now.

We can help you to uncover the sub-conscious forces driving unhelpful patterns of behaviour and create the conditions for you to create a long-term solution.

Preview our courses before you enrol today.

About Peter Urey.
Trained to advanced level in personal coaching techniques including Clean Language and Symbolic Modelling, Hoshin Planning, Business NLP and HP's Leadership Development Programme.
Experienced coach for Hewlett Packard, Symantec, Canon, Epson plus many more.
Educated in Law at University of Oxford.
Aged 56, married 29 years, 3 adult children.
Student of Clean Language and Symbolic Modelling under Marian Way, author of Clean Approaches for Coaches.
Black Belt in Karate.

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