How to Handle Difficult People

Struggling to deal with a difficult person at work and it's affecting your career? This course teaches you what to do.
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  • Lectures 13
  • Contents Video: 1 hour
  • Skill Level All Levels
  • Languages English
  • Includes Lifetime access
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    Available on iOS and Android
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About This Course

Published 3/2015 English

Course Description

If you are dealing with a bully, a gossip, an unreliable or difficult person at work and it's affecting your well being then this course is for you.

Knowing how to deal with difficult people is critical to keeping your career on track.

We teach a simple three step model called Flare Care Share.

You will learn about the triggers which send you into an emotional state - that's when you flare up and move towards feelings of violence or silence.

We teach you how to avoid entering into a career limiting confrontation or a damaging funk of avoidance and self loathing. This is the care phase.

In the share phase, you will learn how to initiate a dialogue in a professional way and hold a conversation which can lead to an improved outcome without animosity. You will be able to effortlessly restore good order and benefit both you and the other person.

The course is mostly video with supporting bullet point notes. We also include some practice material so that you can hear and repeat the wording which works before taking it into the workplace. You will learn the basic technique in about one hour.

Three imagined scenarios are addressed - a bully, a gossip and an unreliable person.

We stress that it's only practice that will embed the method but we will give you support if you message us via the Udemy message feature.

What are the requirements?

  • Be aware of the situations which make you flare up at work.
  • Have a friend who is able to listen to you rehearse if you need practice.
  • Consider as many prior situations as you can where you have dealt with difficult people and consider if any recurring patterns emerge.
  • Have a desire to work in an environment where people are reasonable with each other in all circumstances.

What am I going to get from this course?

  • Spot when you are behaving emotionally and becoming unreasonable.
  • Pause before making a rash decision to confront or withdraw.
  • Structure a professional conversation to get the key issues out for discussion without generating animosity or ill feeling.
  • Approach the difficult person with diplomatic skill.
  • Frame the intended outcome of restoring reasonableness for all concerned.
  • State what you see and hear, how it makes you think and feel and how you interpret events and want to act as a result
  • Allow the other party to do the same and get their perspective.
  • Negotiate a way to return to the preferred state of working together.
  • Reach a resolution about policing and reviewing you agreement.
  • Hear the words used to do all the above in a practice session.

What is the target audience?

  • People who work in a corporate or large business environment.
  • People who feel that they are being bullied and don't know where else to go for support and advice
  • People who feel they are being unfair victims of gossip.
  • People are being let down by unreliable colleagues.

What you get with this course?

Not for you? No problem.
30 day money back guarantee.

Forever yours.
Lifetime access.

Learn on the go.
Desktop, iOS and Android.

Get rewarded.
Certificate of completion.


Section 1: Overview and Objectives

Summary outline of the Flare Care Share Technique and where and how you can apply it.

Section 2: Flare - the emotional reaction stage.

Spotting how and why you move into a vulnerable state which can limit your career.


Developing your understanding of what drives the emotions to move to Silence or Violence.


Concluding our observations about the way instinct can be overridden by the intellect.

Section 3: Care - buying time to respond and not to react.

Learning to care for your health and well being and that of the people around you and especially the difficult person.

Section 4: Share - getting two sides of the story and a favourable resolution for all.

Overview of the Share phase.

Share - Approaching the Difficult Person

Hear the words which you might use in a really tough situation with a bullying boss.


Stating what you see and hear and how it makes you think and feel and want to act in a methodical and non-threatening way.


Handling the rapid flow of ideas, judging intent and working towards a way to bring both parties back to common ground.


Making sure that you police the agreement, know what to measure to keep it health and review it at appropriate intervals.


Practice your approach and conversation by listening to sample phrases from typical scenarios.

Section 5: Summary

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Instructor Biography

Peter Urey, Peak Performance Coaching

Using a coaching technique known as Symbolic Modelling, we base our courses on a set of questions known as Clean Questions, to help you to discover the patterns of thought which govern your behaviour.

When you can fully appreciate what “makes you tick” through the process of achieving and maintaining your peak performance state it becomes easier to spot and deal with the triggers which can knock you off course and recover more effectively.

You can begin the coaching process by answering these questions:

When you are in a peak performance state that’s like what?

When you are in peak performance what do other people see and hear?

When you are below peak performace that’s like what?

When you are below peak performance what do people see and hear?

When you embark on the path back to peak performance that’s like what?

When you take the path of recovery what will other people see and hear?

What help do you need to begin and complete that journey?

Message us with your answers.

In recent years, Professors George Lakoff and Stephen Pinker of Berkeley and Yale have been revealing through the study of linguistics and brain scanning how the mind works. They recognise that at the core we can only make ourselves understood in the world through our use of metaphor - describing one thing in terms of another. David Grove, a pioneer in this field said:

"Metaphor is our primary processing language"

Our training courses reference their work on metaphor. Understanding these first principles will revolutionise the way you perform at peak. People who follow the process we teach believe the following to be be true:

1. People already possess all the wisdom they will ever need.
2. That wisdom is accessible through our use of metaphor.
3. With the techniques we teach we can use metaphor to create the conditions for change.
4. New insights emerge naturally as we explore the metaphors we use.
5. Change and learning is a natural by-product of the process.
6. The impact cannot be known until afterwards

To help you to get the most value from these courses it would be helpful if you could answer this question and message me with your answer.

When you are learning at your best, that is like what?

Message up with your answer.

By way of biography at time of writing in 2016, I am 56 years old, have three adult children and have been married to the same person for 29 years. I was born in Manchester, England but now live in London near Kew Gardens.

After leaving Oxford University in 1982 with a degree in Law, I went on to be trained and work in Sales, Marketing and Management in the IT sector. Employers and clients included Hewlett Packard, Symantec, Epson and Canon.

My personal pracitice of karate and tai chi brought me into contact with instructors with a deep understanding of how the human mind works under pressure. It was a martial art instructor who taught me the mantra - Quality of LIfe is Quality of Communication

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