Feedback fails because we assume that others share our understanding of the meaning of the words we use. Using a simple example we demonstrate how wrong this assumption is and how easy it is to misunderstand what has been said.
We do not wish to dwell on the delivery of poor feedback but by implication from a bad case study allow you to recognise where errors were made and to avoid them yourself.
By grasping the underlying structure and flow of constructive feedback you will be able to constrct your own sessions in your own style follwing the same steps.
If all else fails use technique.
Using examples from Caitlin Walker's book, "From Contempt to Curiosity", hear the sound and fow of constuctive feedback. How does what you hear, make you think and feel? How easily could you copy this structure?
Imagine youself in a similar situation. Does the style used make you feel more positive about the feedback process?
Can you sense that by using this approach the feedback is constructive rather than critical?
When you grasp this fundamental concept you will transform as a communicator. The school of philosophy known as Logical Positivism is at the heart of the technique and forms the basis of teaching at Oxford University.
Describing the intended outcome in vivid sensory language makes it more memorable and acts as a shorthand for a complex array of ideas. We have infinite memory for pictures and a very limited vocabulary which runs to about 8000 words for the average person.
These simple guidelines make it easier to apply the technique. Keep it simple. The question "like what?" will work in most circumstances.
Listen closely to the different ways people learn. What you assumed about someone else is likely to be wrong. Ask the question in a curious way and use what you learn to improve the way you deliver fedback in future on an individual basis.
Use this expression to support your feedback with sensory based observations.
Eat your own dogfood, to use a graphic metaphor. Try the technique on yourself to explore your own mental processes during the feedback you deliver.
Summing it all up, why don't you give us some feedback on this course supported by sensory observations.
1. There are many times in life when we know we need some guidance but it's tough to ask for help.
2. Fear of what others might think, pride or embarrassment can hold us back.
3. Our courses deal with subjects which are difficult to talk about to your boss or other people.
* Dealing with difficult people
* Anxiety about basic skills
* Alcohol issues
We offer the soft skills for hard times
4. They are affordable and accessible any time and any place on the internet.
5. You can learn in total privacy.
6. We are on-hand to offer personal support via Skype should you need it. We've been where you are now.
We can help you to uncover the sub-conscious forces driving unhelpful patterns of behaviour and create the conditions for you to create a long-term solution.
Preview our courses before you enrol today.
About Peter Urey.
Trained to advanced level in personal coaching techniques including Clean Language and Symbolic Modelling, Hoshin Planning, Business NLP and HP's Leadership Development Programme.
Experienced coach for Hewlett Packard, Symantec, Canon, Epson plus many more.
Educated in Law at University of Oxford.
Aged 56, married 29 years, 3 adult children.
Student of Clean Language and Symbolic Modelling under Marian Way, author of Clean Approaches for Coaches.
Black Belt in Karate.