How to Give Feedback without Giving Offence

Learn to give feedback which is easy to understand, will help others learn and grow and won't sound critical
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Instructed by Peter Urey Business / Management
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  • Lectures 14
  • Length 39 mins
  • Skill Level All Levels
  • Languages English
  • Includes Lifetime access
    30 day money back guarantee!
    Available on iOS and Android
    Certificate of Completion
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About This Course

Published 7/2015 English

Course Description

  • This course is about delivering feedback and appraisals which are free from the misunderstanding which arises from making assumptions about what is said.
  • When feedback is supported by the evidence of what you have seen and heard and how it made you think and feel then the recipient is more likely to be able to comprehend and react appropriately.
  • We introduce you to the power of metaphor as the best way to express what you see and hear and think and feel.
  • Case studies are used so that you can hear the words of good feedback sessions being given and model them to suit your own feedback sessions.
  • The course will take 40 minutes to complete followed by regular practice.
  • Take this course if your success depends on the performance of others or if people are looking to you for advice and support for their own personal development.
  • Suitable for small business owners, corporate or public sector leaders and educators.
  • It also has application in personal situations.
  • The problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. Using this technique you can be certain you will be understood.
  • The guiding mantra is - "Quality of Life is Quality of Communication."

What are the requirements?

  • You will not need an ego or preconceived assumptions - instead come with both ears washed out and an open mind. Getting this right is about listening with the intention of understanding not listening with the intention to reply

What am I going to get from this course?

  • Deliver constructive feedback free from assumptions and misunderstanding
  • Be understood the first time every time
  • Support observations with the sense data of what you have seen and heard, thought and felt and inferred
  • Express yourself using our Primary Processing Language which is metaphor
  • Ask simple questions such as "like what" to help others communicate free from the use of vague and fuzzy concept words like "good" or "alright"
  • Explore your own thought processes which support your ability to deliver feedback at your best
  • Develop other people's ability to learn at their best
  • Challenge your own assumptions to learn and grow

Who is the target audience?

  • Take this course if other people look to you for advice and support in order to be their best
  • Take this course if your success depends on others performing at their best
  • Take this course if you want to eliminate the wasted time in your life which is the result of failure to communicate properly the first time

What you get with this course?

Not for you? No problem.
30 day money back guarantee.

Forever yours.
Lifetime access.

Learn on the go.
Desktop, iOS and Android.

Get rewarded.
Certificate of completion.


Section 1: Objectives and Overview
What you will learn and be able to do by taking this course
Section 2: Why feedback fails

Feedback fails because we assume that others share our understanding of the meaning of the words we use. Using a simple example we demonstrate how wrong this assumption is and how easy it is to misunderstand what has been said.


We do not wish to dwell on the delivery of poor feedback but by implication from a bad case study allow you to recognise where errors were made and to avoid them yourself.

Section 3: The Fundamental Structure of Feedback with case studies

By grasping the underlying structure and flow of constructive feedback you will be able to constrct your own sessions in your own style follwing the same steps.

If all else fails use technique.


Using examples from Caitlin Walker's book, "From Contempt to Curiosity", hear the sound and fow of constuctive feedback. How does what you hear, make you think and feel? How easily could you copy this structure?


Imagine youself in a similar situation. Does the style used make you feel more positive about the feedback process?


Can you sense that by using this approach the feedback is constructive rather than critical?

Section 4: Introduction to Metaphor - our Primary Processing Language

When you grasp this fundamental concept you will transform as a communicator. The school of philosophy known as Logical Positivism is at the heart of the technique and forms the basis of teaching at Oxford University.


Describing the intended outcome in vivid sensory language makes it more memorable and acts as a shorthand for a complex array of ideas. We have infinite memory for pictures and a very limited vocabulary which runs to about 8000 words for the average person.


These simple guidelines make it easier to apply the technique. Keep it simple. The question "like what?" will work in most circumstances.


Listen closely to the different ways people learn. What you assumed about someone else is likely to be wrong. Ask the question in a curious way and use what you learn to improve the way you deliver fedback in future on an individual basis.

Section 5: Delivering constructive feedback

Use this expression to support your feedback with sensory based observations.


Eat your own dogfood, to use a graphic metaphor. Try the technique on yourself to explore your own mental processes during the feedback you deliver.

Section 6: Summary of what we have learned

Summing it all up, why don't you give us some feedback on this course supported by sensory observations.

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Instructor Biography

Peter Urey, Business Coaching Courses for when it's hard to ask for help

googleefc1be9633e509e9.htmlgoogleefc1be9633e509e9.html1. There are many times in life when we know we need some guidance but it's tough to ask for help.

2. Fear of what others might think, pride or embarrassment can hold us back.

3. Our courses deal with subjects which are difficult to talk about to your boss or other people.

              * Motivation
              * Bullying
              * Dealing with difficult people
              * Confidence
              * Anxiety about basic skills
              * Alcohol issues

We offer the soft skills for hard times

4. They are affordable and accessible any time and any place on the internet.

5. You can learn in total privacy.

6. We are on-hand to offer personal support via Skype should you need it. We've been where you are now.

We can help you to uncover the sub-conscious forces driving unhelpful patterns of behaviour and create the conditions for you to create a long-term solution.

Preview our courses before you enrol today.

About Peter Urey.
Trained to advanced level in personal coaching techniques including Clean Language and Symbolic Modelling, Hoshin Planning, Business NLP and HP's Leadership Development Programme.
Experienced coach for Hewlett Packard, Symantec, Canon, Epson plus many more.
Educated in Law at University of Oxford.
Aged 56, married 29 years, 3 adult children.
Student of Clean Language and Symbolic Modelling under Marian Way, author of Clean Approaches for Coaches.
Black Belt in Karate.

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