Chances are, you already know how destructive anger can be. Relationships can be destroyed by it and personalities can be poisoned with it. Most angry people do not want to be that way, but they have never been taught how to think differently to act differently.
During this course you will become aware of the important distinctions between constructive and destructive uses of anger. You will also be challenged to use the tools provided in this course to adjust your egotism, your control tendencies, your emotional insecurities, and your adversarial patterns.
By the end of this course you will not only have acquired a valuable understanding of the practical behaviors associated with a healthy and proactive anger management, but also the essential tools for creating a mindset and attitude that will transform your anger from a destructive disposition into a new personal presence that will impart genuine personal and relational success.
Before you can adjust your anger responses, you need to know what you are dealing with. This class explains the self-preserving purpose of anger, with an emphasis on the need to become honest about why you feel as you do. Then, armed with this insight, you will be challenged to decide if you want to choose a healthy or unhealthy path of expression. Your success will rise or fall based on your willingness to take responsibility (as opposed to forcing others to be responsible) for your emotion.
When anger arises, one option is to suppress it, opting to put on a false front of pseudo-stability. Of course, this only creates a fallout of misery since the suppressed emotion does not magically disappear. In this segment, the impact of suppression will be explained and you will be challenged to question if this is really a strategy that will assist you as you seek emotional maturity.
The most common form of anger is of the openly aggressive variety, and this episode will explain the distinctions of anger that demeans others. While seemingly addressing self-preserving needs, you will be faced with the realization that aggressive expressions only create more problems than they solve. The benefits of non-aggressive alternatives will be presented.
Some people adopt a sneaky means of expressing anger that allows tensions to be registered with the least amount of emotional vulnerability. This passive aggressive form of anger will be identified and you will be challenged to become more open and honest in explaining who you really are. You will be strongly encouraged to decide if you want to be sly and manipulative in angry expressions, as opposed to constructive and respectful.
The choice of assertive anger will be explained in this session. As you understand the more productive aim of this option (self-preservation accompanied by regard for the other), you will be faced with the choice to lay down non-productive anger expressions. You will be presented with examples of clean anger. You will then be tasked with the assignment of fusing of your valid moments of anger with respect.
Wisdom leads to the conclusion that you should pick your battles carefully if you want to be taken seriously when you are legitimately angry. This episode will extol the virtue of releasing anger, trading your harsh emotion for higher priorities such as forgiveness, tolerance, and patience. You will be asked to identify moments of anger when you need to let go and compromise in order to achieve relationship harmony.
Most angry people admit that too much energy is expended on matters that really do not matter. Their overuse of agitating anger prompts others to tune out the potentially valid message sent. Participants in this segment will be challenged to identify the behaviors associated with the “less is more” approach to anger management.
As a person continues in non-productive anger choices, a byproduct is bitterness and resentment. This class will examine a seemingly backward approach to getting rid of bitterness. Special emphasis is given to the truth that the primary person harmed by bitterness is yourself. You will be challenged to develop an honest assessment of the necessity (or not) of holding onto an emotion that has clearly run its course.
When anger is misused, it is a virtual guarantee that control has become a major driving force. Yet, as will be discussed in this segment, it is also true that the more you try to control, the more out of control you become. Is that what you really want and need? You will be presented with a plan to communicate anger in the least controlling manner. Ironically you will find that the best way to be in control is to cease trying to be in control.
With 35+ years experience and over 60,000 counseling sessions, Dr. Les Carter speaks with the practical wisdom of one who truly understands what it takes to elevate individuals to relationship success.
Dr. Carter maintains an active counseling practice in Southlake, Texas and is the best selling author of 20 books including the Anger Trap and Enough About You, Let’s Talk About Me that have been translated into 10 languages.
Dr. Carter is the host of MarriagePath Radio, a weekly national podcast that moves individuals and couples beyond the teaching of simple skills to utilizing emotions and behaviors in such a way that powerfully shapes life habits so that real change happens.
Dr. Carter is well known for his nationally renowned seminars and workshops.