Boost your kid's self esteem and success with praise skills
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Boost your kid's self esteem and success with praise skills

Increase your child's confidence and success with this step by step guide (while avoiding the risk of over praising).
5.0 (3 ratings)
Instead of using a simple lifetime average, Udemy calculates a course's star rating by considering a number of different factors such as the number of ratings, the age of ratings, and the likelihood of fraudulent ratings.
47 students enrolled
Created by Robin Booth
Last updated 5/2017
English
Price: $40
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
Includes:
  • 2.5 hours on-demand video
  • 3 Articles
  • 10 Supplemental Resources
  • Full lifetime access
  • Access on mobile and TV
  • Certificate of Completion
What Will I Learn?
  • Consciouly and strategically increase your child's self esteem and confidence.
  • Be able to praise whenever you want to, no matter how you feel about it.
  • Know which praise words and phrases to avoid as those words do more damage than good.
  • You will be able to use 10 different and awesome praise techniques with your children.
  • You will have a plan of action to adapt each skill to your specific family situation.
  • You will know how to always praise honestly and authentically, everytime, and as many times as you wish. No risk of over praising.
  • You will have summary print out sheets to help you integrate the skills into every day practise.
  • You will have access to our skill integration programme to help you remember these over a 3 week period.
View Curriculum
Requirements
  • No prior knowledge of praise is needed.
  • Not essential for you to have done any of my other courses.
  • Be willing and prepared to put 5 minutes practise and preparation for each skill we cover so you can immediately apply them in your home.
  • Be humble and open to explore if your praising techniques may actually be doing more harm than good.
  • You may have learnt some similar skills before but this course goes to a whole new level.
Description

Over 87% of parents are using traditional praise techniques that are outdated and although used with good intentions, are actually damaging their child's success. If you say things like: “Good job! That’s a pretty picture, or I’m so proud of you!” then you need to learn the alternatives to those words!

Incorrect praise can manipulate children, create praise "junkies", steal a child's pleasure, decrease interest, and reduce achievement.

I don't believe this is what you are wanting for your child, and this course is an opportunity for you to master the skills to boost their confidence and give them a winning attitude for success. 

If you believe in honest and authentic praise, while avoiding the risk pf over praising, then these skills will give you everything you need.

The skills you will master in this course:

  1. Content praise
  2. Process praise
  3. Effort praise
  4. Praise when sharing your feelings
  5. Summative Praise
  6. Praising your favourite part
  7. Descriptive Praise
  8. Personal Praise
  9. Written praise
  10. Cooperation Praise

This is more of a 'no-nonsense scientific approach' to praise rather than wishy washy unproven skills. 

With this course you get summary print out sheets, quizes to support your learning and action plans to transform this into your home environment.

How you praise your child will directly impact their well being and future success. Let these skills became an asset to your home opposed to something that turns out to undermine and damage.

_____________________________________________________________

Give yourself a fresh start by enrolling in this life-changing course now.

Every moment you delay, not only do you lose out, but so does the future success of your child.

All future updates to this course are free - you are "locked-in" at the current price and you will never pay more if you enrol today at the introductory price.

And there's a 30 day absolutely no questions asked full money back guarantee - if you don't get a breakthrough or don't find value, then I didn't do my job in supporting you right! This is my personal promise to you and your children! You really cannot lose!

In fact I am so confident that in what I teach that within the first 20 minutes you will learn a skill that will totally change the way in which you praise. 

Who is the target audience?
  • For all parents, teachers and caregivers (everyone involved with children).
  • For managers and anyone in leadership and authority positions as how you treat people impacts their well being and performance.
Curriculum For This Course
34 Lectures
02:22:31
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Here is the most effective way to learn these skills - least time, least effort.
4 Lectures 11:37

This lesson is an overview of the course design for your easy navigation and learning style.

Parents have shared with us that for you to quickly learn the best skills to use to praise, you must first be able to identify those techniques of yours that don’t work and actually do damage instead of good.

We will move onto learning the emotional intelligent skills of praise and how you can use them as many times as you like without the risk of damaging your child’s self-esteem. We will also cover how you can adapt the skills to different age groups as well as exercises for you to practice on.  On top of that each skill will have the 2 minute action plan to help you adapt this to your family situation.

I will also answer the many concerns and frequently asked questions parents ask about praise.


Preview 03:34

This lesson covers my favourite skill and the one I use each and every day without any risk of over doing it.

  1. Describe what you see or hear without judging it as good or bad.
  2. Share what your favourite part is.


In any situation you will always have one 'part' that you prefer to another. Therefore by using this skill you will never be lying, or be inauthentic. And you don't even have to know what you are praising.

Describing your favourite part is the skill most used by parents as there is no risk of overpraising or 'fake' praising.


Preview 04:32

This video clip is of a parent who shares how she used the 'share your favourite part' skill on her 4 year old daughter and the amazing results she got.

The mom had just collected her daughter form school and the daughter had given mom a present of a picture drawn that morning. 

How could the mom respond? How could she praise her daughter for this gift?

She describes how her daughter's face just lit up and the immense feeling of connectedness and fulfillment they both felt.

Preview 02:20

As you progress through this course, please feel free to ask any questions and I will be happy to answer them. You can do this within the course, or via the personal messaging system.

  And many parents and teachers often ask the same kinds of questions, so I created a ‘free resource course’ where I answer many of the great questions from all my other courses put together.

This free resource on “The top 20 questions and answers to become a better parents covers these kinds of questions:

  • Know how to stop your child's whining and sulking behaviour
  • Use alternatives to yelling and shouting, keeping your child's dignity in tact
  • Put in place effective boundaries with the 3 D's to intelligent boundaries
  • Understand why some children listen to you, but don't do what you ask
  • Know how to apply the developmental stages of child development
  • Learn why 'TIME-OUT' chairs do more damage than good
  • Deal with your child's school separation anxiety

  I am sure you will find insights, skills and possible breakthroughs by browsing through this new course. As I get new questions from you, I keep adding new lessons. Look for the course title and link in the last lesson in this course and enroll to see if it answers your question.

Your questions answered
01:11
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The scientific proof of why praise messes up (and builds up) your kids.
3 Lectures 10:32

How can praise damage my child?

As one expert says: "We are becoming praise junkies as parents. We've gone to the opposite extreme of a few decades ago when parents tended to be more strict. And now we overpraise our children."

By giving kids heaping portions of praise, parents think they're building their children's confidence and sense of self, when, in fact, it may be just the opposite.

This lecture explores the science behind praise, and separates the fact from the fiction. 

  • Praise can manipulate children – praise is used as a way of getting children to comply with adults' wishes. This works in the short term because young children want adults' approval. But we need to be careful of taking advantage of children's dependence on us.
  • Praise can create praise "junkies" – the more praise children receive, the more they rely on adult evaluations instead of them forming their own judgments.
  • Praise can steal a child's pleasure – children deserve to delight in their accomplishments instead of being judged. Most people don't think a statement like "Good job!" is a judgment, but this is as much a judgement as "That’s a bad job".
  • Praise can decreases interest – research has shown that people tend to lose interest in activities for which they have been praised. Instead of motivating a child to engage in an activity, praise motivates a child to get more praise.
  • Praise can reduce achievement – children who are praised for creative tasks tend to stumble at the next task. This may be because of the pressure created to continue to keep up the good work, and because the child has lost interest. In addition, children who are praised are less likely to take risks, as they may fear they won't receive positive feedback. It's also been found that students who receive positive reinforcement do not persist in the face of difficulties.
The Science of what NOT to say or DO - you have been warned!
05:05

Do you know that feeling when you praise someone with the best of intentions and they just reject your praise or just don't believe you?

I'm sure its happened to you. But do you know why this happens?

This lesson explores the dynamics of how traditional praise actually undermines the receiver, opoosed to leaving them feeling empowered and uplifted.

  • Traditional praise can make you doubt the praiser (If she thinks I’m a good baker, she is either lying or knows nothing about baking.)
  • Traditional praise can lead to denial (A good baker… hmf, she should have seen the disaster of the cake I made last week!)
  • Traditional praise can be threatening and stressful. (Oh No… this is stressful. If they now expect me to do this again the next time I hope I get it right.)
  • Traditional praise can force you to look at your weakness (Me… a good baker?  Are you kidding? I can’t even make a decent fried egg!)
  • Traditional praise can also be experienced as manipulation (I’m sure they are just saying that I am a good baker because they are wanting something from me.


When your praise fails... you feel crap!
05:13

This lesson broadens the understandings between traditional praise and descriptive praise.

We also look at how children may interpret your traditional praise techniques.

It's really useful to understand how traditional techniques negatively impact your child.

Which of these techniques from this list are you using (and why they don't work)
00:14
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How to praise the content of what your child has done.
4 Lectures 16:05

There are different kinds of praise, but which ones should you use?

For now there are really only two types of praise that I'd like you to know about and the one will bring you great results and the other one most likely negative results.

The two types are:  value based praise (or traditional praise)  and descriptive praise (the one I want you to learn by heart).

 Value based praise is when you evaluate and make simple judgements:  examples of this type of praise is when you say things like:  that's a good job you're a nice boy, that's a pretty picture,

 Descriptive praise is when you describe without evaluating, I see that you completed the work in the time allocated to you, I notice that you are polite and say please whenever you need something,  I see that your picture has really captured the expressions of that father.

There are different kinds of praise, but which ones should you use?
02:24

The absolute beauty of descriptive praise is the ease in which you can just describe the content of what you see or what you hear.  You don't have to evaluate it and you don't have to judge it, you don't even have to worry if you are saying the right thing or the wrong thing all. All you are doing is just describing what you see or what you hear.

By using descriptive words opposed to value judgement words, children are more likely to integrate and internalize their own value which results in their self esteem and confidence growing.


How to praise the CONTENT of what you see or hear.
05:19

This is a practical exercise giving you loads of opportunities for you to integrate the skills. 

You have pictures, paintings, story telling, music and more to try your skills on. And each skill we use displays the same images so you can really get to distinguish between the skills you are learning.



Practical exercise: Can you praise these pictures using describing the content?
07:35

This section of the lesson is about you adapting this skill to your own home environment.

By following the steps I am suggestion now, you will greater come to understand the skill and be prepared to implement it right away.

Remember that this skill is about describing the content of what you see, or what has happened.

2 minute action plan for how to apply the 'CONTENT' skill in your own home.
00:47

These questions will support you in integrating and using the skill of 'describing the content'.

Have you got the skills of 'Describing the Content?'
4 questions
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How to praise the PROCESS or the EFFORT of what they have done.
5 Lectures 24:58

Francoise shares how uncomfortable she felt in using the skill of descriptive praise, but when she did, the result was even better than she could ever have imagined.

Also watch Robin's comments and insights as he takes this skill a level deeper with her.


A parent shares how this skill created the biggest grin on her daughter's face!
04:48

Traditional praise usually focuses on the end result or product of what your children have done.   It's really easy to Praise someone who has achieved a first place or who has done something really well. But what if your child is not a top performer and doesn’t achieve great results? And what about the children who come second, third or fourth? 

Instead, cleverly praise children for their effort and hard work and not for their inherent talents.

So describe the process of what they were doing as opposed to the Result of what they did.

Describing the process is a bit like explaining the steps that they took to achieve that result.

Preview 10:35

Go into the classroom with Teacher Cindy as she uses four of the praise skills with 8 year old Sasha!

Cindy uses:

  1. Describing the content
  2. Describing the process
  3. Sharing her favourite part
  4. Summative praise
A teacher shows you how she uses four praise skills with a child.
01:07

This is a practical exercise giving you loads of opportunities for you to integrate the skills. 

You have pictures, paintings, story telling, music and more to try your skills on. And each skill we use displays the same images so you can really get to distinguish between the skills you are learning.

Practical exercise: Can you praise these pictures with 'describing the process'?
07:28

This section of the lesson is about you adapting this skill to your own home environment.

By following the steps I am suggestion now, you will greater come to understand the skill and be prepared to implement it right away.

Remember that this skill is about describing the process or the effort of what you see, or what has happened. It is incredibly useful when your child has not done their best, or has not achieved the victory. You can still honestly praise their effort and process of what they did.

2 minute action plan for how to apply the 'PROCESS' skill in your own home.
01:00

These questions will support you in integrating and using the skill of 'describing the process.'

Have you got the skills of 'Describing the Process and Effort?'
4 questions
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The art of praising honestly and succesfully, every time: Your favourite part
4 Lectures 15:42

In any situation you find yourself in, especially in those situations where you don’t want to be dishonest and you don’t want to be inauthentic, you may just find yourself standing there with your mouth shut tight.

But now you know what to do. Just describe what you see, and then describe your favourite part.

You see… in any picture, piece of art, music piece, or activity, there will also be some part of it which you prefer above another part. Even though you may not like it at all, there is still some part of it you prefer above another part. 

So when your child comes to you with a picture that just has multi-coloured scribbles all over it, first describe it… and then share your favourite part of it.


How to give praise when you need to, but don't feel like giving it.
03:29

Dave shares how he clearly saw the impact of using descriptive praise on his son. 

And he shares how obvious it was when he forgot to use it. 

Also you can see Robin's response and comments to Dave's sharing as he takes this skill to a level deeper.

A parent shares what he learnt by learning the praise skill.
05:24

This is a practical exercise giving you loads of opportunities for you to integrate the skills. 

You have pictures, paintings, story telling, music and more to try your skills on. And each skill we use displays the same images so you can really get to distinguish between the skills you are learning.

Practical exercise: Can you praise these pictures with your 'favourite part'?
05:55

This section of the lesson is about you adapting this skill to your own home environment.

By following the steps I am suggestion now, you will greater come to understand the skill and be prepared to implement it right away.

Remember that this skill can be used at any time, but is incredible useful when you are wanting to praise something but don’t really like it, or appreciate it.  Of course you don’t HAVE to praise.. but this is used when you CHOOSE to do so, but don’t want to lie or be dishonest.

2 minute action plan for sharing your 'FAVOURITE PART'
00:54

These questions will support you in integrating and using the skill of 'describing your favourite part.'

Have you got the skills of Describing your favourite part?
5 questions
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How to praise by sharing what you FEEL and BELIEVE.
2 Lectures 07:00

The challenge with praising your children by sharing your feelings ("I'm so happy that you came first! or I'm so proud of you!), is that this form of praise puts the emphasis on YOUR feelings.

RISKY STATEMENTS:

  • I'm so proud of what you did
  • I'm so happy for you.
  • You should be happy with your marks!
  • You should be proud of what you achieved today!

The risk of saying things like this could mean that in future your child tries to get good marks in order to make YOU happy instead of feeling fulfilled their own.

So here is how you can share YOUR feelings, but still make it about them! When you praise by sharing your feelings about what they have done, you need to follow up that praise with the specifics and details about why you felt that way.

How to praise them by sharing how you feel by avoiding making it about you
06:05

This section of the lesson is about you adapting this skill to your own home environment.

By following the steps I am suggestion now, you will greater come to understand the skill and be prepared to implement it right away.

Remember that this skill is when you really want to share how you feel about something, and then making sure to add in the detail of WHY you feel that way.  You are wanting to child to keep experiencing that their praise is about them and what they have achieved.

2 minute action plan on how to praise using your feelings, but avoiding the risk
00:55

These questions will support you in integrating and using the skill of 'sharing how you feel.'

Have you got the skills of Sharing how you feel?
4 questions
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The clever use of praise to get your child to cooperate.
2 Lectures 09:44

Getting a child to cooperate is the number one skill parents are asking for. And most parents think that the best way to get a child to cooperate is to make sure the boundaries are strong, and that the threat of punishment is even stronger.

 But that is outdated…. Modern psychology shows us that an internal drive and motivation to do something is far more powerful that an external threat.

The clever and strategic use of praise can be even more effective in getting your child to cooperate than the threats of punishment.

Using this skill in this way can really help you change your child’s behaviour.

So try this: Watch for times when your child behaves the way you want. When you see the desirable behaviour, or another behaviour you like, immediately get your child’s attention. “Hey Sweetie…”

 Then tell your child exactly what you liked about the behaviour. You can praise effort as well as achievement – for example, if you see that your child ASKED for a toy instead of just grabbing it, you can highlight that,  ‘It’s great how you used words to ask for that toy’.


The praise skills to get COOPERATION and change their inappropriatebehaviour.
08:05

This section of the lesson is about you adapting this skill to your own home environment.

By following the steps I am suggestion now, you will greater come to understand the skill and be prepared to implement it right away.

The power of this skill is in focusing your child’s awareness to what you are wanting them to do or to reinforce. As your child naturally want to please you, whatever you pay attention to helps motivate your children to do it again. 

2 minute action plan on how to apply the 'COOPERATION' praise skill.
01:39

These questions will support you in integrating and using the praise skill to get your child to cooperate. 


Have you got the praise skills to get your child to cooperate?
4 questions
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How to change your child's attitude with the SUMMATIVE praise skill.
4 Lectures 17:25

I get a lot of parents asking me the following question:

My child gives up before they even start. They think it's too difficult for them and they won't even give it a go. How do I get them to change this belief about themselves?

And this next skill will give you some of those answers.

Of all the skills on praise we will cover, this next one is the one that most parents have shared has produced the most transformational results. We have taken the insights and the strategies of life coaching and brought them into the context of parenting and praise. As a Life Coach I am aware that when I work with a parent in one area of their life, this flows over and impacts all other areas of their life.

When you change your child’s perception of themselves in one area of their life, then they will also see that image of themselves in other areas.

Step 1: You use descriptive praise to describe what you see, or describe their effort (like we have learnt in the previous lessons)

And then Step 2: You then sum up what you have just described as a one word characteristic. This one word that you choose would be is the personality trait or characteristic that would lead to the action you just described.

The one word that will change your child’s life and their confidence level
09:30

This lesson is a great opportunity for you to practice the SUMMATIVE PRAISE skills. 

Print out the three files and follow the instructions to test your insights and skills.

Then see if you can use this in your own home situation.

An exercise on finding the right word for summative praise
00:56

This is a practical exercise giving you loads of opportunities for you to integrate the skills. 

You have pictures, paintings, story telling, music and more to try your skills on. And each skill we use displays the same images so you can really get to distinguish between the skills you are learning.

Practical exercise: Can you praise these pictures using summative praise?
05:31

This section of the lesson is about you adapting this skill to your own home environment.

By following the steps I am suggestion now, you will greater come to understand the skill and be prepared to implement it right away.

Remember that this skill can be used at any time, but is incredible useful when you are wanting to increase a certain behavioural trait in your child.

2 minute action plan for how to apply the 'SUMMATIVE PRAISE' skill.
01:28

These questions will support you in integrating and using the 'Summative Praise' skills. 

Have you got the skills of Summative Praise?
5 questions
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General
5 Lectures 23:28

The best way to demonstrate the power of these skills is to show them in action.

Here is a video clip of Robin interacting with the the children, and watch their big smiles and happy faces.

Watch me using these skills on the children in our school.
04:18

Giving your praise to your child, or to anyone else, can be a life changing gift. Our words carry power that impacts those around us.

Consider that writing some of those words down, even the simplest of the descriptive praise sentences we have covered, can be held onto tightly as a reminder of who we are, and what other people see and believe in us.

When you write a note, or record a video you create an incredible opportunity for your child to review and relive your words and feelings for decades. This is an incredible gift.

The incredible power of giving your praise as a WRITTEN NOTE.
02:35

In this next section we are going to look at the things you need to remember about praising that will catapult your skills to the next level.

  • Be genuine.
  • Be conscious of bragging about your child in-front of others.
  • Use body language.
  • Accept that everyone’s different, and love those differences.
  • Reverse psychology is not praise.
  • Keep your praise directed at your child and avoid praise that compares your child to others.
  • Social comparison praise is the type of praise where we compare your child to others. But there are at least two big problems this.
The things you need to remember when you praise.
06:34

Every parent and teacher knows that their children will come up to them at some point, and show them what they have done. And sometimes you have no clue as to what they have done. It could be a mess of colours, or a project that has no resemblance to anything you can identify. Or it is a food dish that looks or absolutely terrible!

What do you do? What are your next words?

I have found the safest thing to say or do whenever anything like this happens, is to just ask that child if they would like to tell me more about what they have done.

“Hi Jason. Would you like to tell me more about what you have done?”

In this way the child starts telling me more and I can begin to see what they have done and figure out what to say next that will empower instead of damage.

Preview 02:35

Here are a whole lot of questions I get asked all the time about praise and theory of rewards. I am sure that you probably had some of these as well, so here are my answers.

  •  Will my child get a ‘big head’ if I praise him too much?
  • Will my child start depending on praise to feel good?
  • Why can giving praise feel like hard work?
  • If I praise too much, won’t it lose its impact?
  • Avoid the kinds of traditional praise that hints at past weakness or past failures.
  • Be aware that excessive enthusiasm can interfere with the child’s desire to accomplish for herself.
  • When you use Descriptive Praise, be prepared for repetitions of the behaviour you are encouraging.
  • Does this mean that I should no longer say things like, ‘Great!’ or ‘Fantastic!
  • I  encourage my child often so I am so surprised as to why she is so afraid of risking failure. She goes to pieces when something doesn’t turn out right.   
The questions all parents ask about praising and these skills.
07:26
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More courses and information for you
1 Lecture 06:44
Bonus lesson- Discounted links and more courses for you.
06:44
About the Instructor
Robin Booth
4.5 Average rating
249 Reviews
10,859 Students
10 Courses
International Parenting Expert, Coach and School Principal

Robin Booth is an international expert in providing emotionally intelligent solutions to everyday parenting challenges. Over the last 15 years he has supported hundreds and thousands of teachers and parents from around the world create breakthroughs in getting their children to cooperate with them.

Internationally he is mostly known for founding the Synergy Schooling Approach. This approach demonstrates how easily personal and academic excellence can be achieved when a teacher uses skills in boosting self esteem and developing the child's internal motivation for success .

Upon experiencing the amazing changes in their children (the children being happier, more cooperative and more confident), these parents asked Robin to share with them these same skills. And now he wants to share these with you!

Robin has an incredibly unique and respectful way of understanding and unlocking the challenges parents face every day. This means you will not have come across many of these skills before.

Due to this success, Robin is often asked to travel to speak at conferences, be interviewed on TV and Radio and run workshops for parents and teachers. He has published books and many other parenting resources.

For the last 8 years, many schools in South Africa include Robin's workshops with FULL attendance by ALL their parents and teachers as they have proven so successful in building self esteem and getting cooperation.

He lives in Cape Town, South Africa, with his family.