Resolve anger and other strong emotions - Anger Management

Become free from costly reactive anger and use its energy to make positive changes in your life and relationships.
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  • Lectures 33
  • Length 1 hour
  • Skill Level All Levels
  • Languages English
  • Includes Lifetime access
    30 day money back guarantee!
    Available on iOS and Android
    Certificate of Completion
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About This Course

Published 3/2015 English

Course Description

"Good job Joel.Would have given it 4.5 stars if possible. Joel knows what he is doing. He hits you hard where it hurts but the result is a better skill set and ways of dealing with anger. He cares about his students and understands their psychological needs. I felt like I was taking a well-rounded course." -Student


This is a short but in depth course to enable you to understand what you anger (and other strong emotions) are 'fighting' for.

I draw on 12 years of counselling practice and training to give you a very practical, and well rounded approach to your anger that you will find refreshingly easy to apply to your life.

Intimate interviews give you glances into peoples lives and create a platform for each lesson.

The language and pace of the course makes it accessible and useful for anyone looking to have a more peaceful relationship with themselves or another.

  1. Section 1: De-Shaming anger, feelings, and needs.
  2. Section 2: Taking stock of the cost of anger.
  3. Section 3: Getting clear about what anger is and is not.
  4. Section 4: Practical CBT and Mindfulness approaches.

The course integrates principles from various credible schools of thought. (CBT, NVC, Narrative Therapies, Living Wisdom) so you are a practitioner looking to expand your knowledge of anger you will also find this useful.

What are the requirements?

  • You will need an appetite to change.
  • You will need to be fed up with anger tripping you up in life.
  • A pen, paper, and privacy will help you make the most of this course.

What am I going to get from this course?

  • Understand your anger.
  • Improve your relationships.
  • Experience more peace.
  • Greater self awareness.
  • Improved sense of choice and ownership.
  • More empathy and skills to work with angry family, workmates or employees.
  • Increased assertiveness skills.
  • Practice basic mindfulness.

What is the target audience?

  • People sick of their anger.
  • If you want to understand yourself better.
  • If you want to understand others better.
  • People in relationship with others. Personal or professional.
  • There isn't a focus on grief which can be a source of anger.
  • There isn't a focus on unforgiveness which also can be a source of anger.

What you get with this course?

Not for you? No problem.
30 day money back guarantee.

Forever yours.
Lifetime access.

Learn on the go.
Desktop, iOS and Android.

Get rewarded.
Certificate of completion.

Curriculum

Section 1: Introduction to the course and anger
01:19

For some anger has been a costly emotion in their lives. Costing them relationship with children, spouse, or employees. Others have learned to channel their strong emotions into progress, fuelling change and progress. By the end of this course we will all move towards the second, having new awareness and skills to use all of life's experiences to move us forward. This course integrates my CBT, Living Wisdom, NVC, and Narrative perspectives from my training and counselling experience gathered over the last 15 years.

You will find this course 'winds up'. It starts slower to ensure everybody is on board, then picks up pace and intensity with more and more insights as it goes on. This is about laying a foundation, then building on it.

If you find the early content a bit slow, just click on the speed up button in the top left watch them a little quicker!

Towards the end you will want to do the opposite. Hit the pause button to stop and take notes, or do the self reflection activities.

Article

A quick lecture to help you find your way around Udemy.

02:35

This is an invitation to bring your whole self to the course.

It's an invitation to be gentle on yourself.

It's only from this gracious position of self acceptance that it is safe to begin personal development!

03:03

Let's get clear about what we are talking about and not talking about.

Anger is a feeling. Feelings are not right or wrong - they just are. It's what we do from here that counts.

This lecture also contains a simple map to show how I'm going to be talking about anger, feelings, needs, and strategies.


Strategy (Shout, negotiate, think differently etc)

^

Feeling (Angry, Dissapointment, Sadness)

^

Need (Power in my world, Progress, Order)


'Needs' sit at the core of our human-ness, but they are our needs and are not to be confused with demands or strategies.

Feelings result from our needs being met or not met (perceived or real) and are not to be mixed up with our thoughts and judgements. Feelings are body centric and different from foux feelings like 'unheard' 'misjudged' etc wich are actually assessments/thoughts/judgements of a situation.

Getting these definitions right creates space for us to more creatively look at our strategies for meeting our needs which will result in us feeling better and needing anger less.

What have you learned so far?
2 questions
Section 2: Cost
01:31

Misunderstood and unharnessed anger will cost you energy, friends, family, and your freedom. Don't underestimate this cost. Please don't beat yourself up about it, but don't pretend it's not costly either.

This lecture has a quick look at the costs of negative anger just to position us well to continue understanding our anger.

Examine your own anger and it's effect in your life and start to count the cost. This will motivate you to change. Change is difficult so we need all the help we can get.

03:06

What does negative anger cost you?

00:52

An interview talking about how and why relationships are damaged by misused anger.

03:24

An invitation to self discovery.

It's time to get personal and take the time to see what's really going on in your life with anger.

Get a pen and paper ready. YES, pen and paper...not just somewhere to type. It's better for your brain! :-) (http://mentalfloss.com/article/33508/4-benefits-writing-hand)

Note: Click to the right side of the screen to access downloads, discussions, and make online notes.

Article
This is simply a downloadable xlsx form for you to track:

  • what you do now
  • what you do that works
  • what doesn't work
  • what you are going to try
  • what you are going to keep!
Section 3: What is anger, and what causes it?
01:04

What are your triggers?

What do you do when triggered?

01:29

This lecture highlights the first function of anger: to serve as a warning light.

There are several things that anger may be warning you about, but whatever they are - they are to be taken seriously!

Healthy thinking lubricates our lives and helps absorb the bits and pieces of life that 'shouldn't' be there. Do you have the healthy thinking that helps with this or is it running low?!

02:37

David shares his story of being abused, his angry response, and what he used that energy to do.

01:02

Anger can and should motivate us to change. Sometimes this change is in society and sometimes in ourselves. It's not the anger that's the problem, it's what we do with it that counts.

Next time you are triggered, and feel angry, stop yourself and think, "what can I do with this energy?".

Interview: Energy For Change
00:51
Article

Your turn. Take a moment to decide what you are going to use your angry energy for.

02:17

An on site story about surprise pain and it's affect on me! You will learn about how our body reacts to pain, and just as importantly you will learn how powerful our mind is at reinterpreting this data.

03:28

You will learn about the importance of how we interpret situations.

Our mind is very powerful. It can create it's own reality - but if this is different from actual reality - there will be pain!


02:07

This lecture explains how our mind works through the lens of cognitive behavioral therapy. (C.B.T.)

  • Beliefs -> Thoughts -> Feelings
We all have automatic thoughts that are mostly sub conscious that are continually interpreting the would around us. Unfortunately many of these thoughts are the result of deeper beliefs and assumptions formed in our childhood years before we had enough context to be making such assumptions. This means some of our beliefs are wrong!

I can be fairly certain that if we are living in constant emotional pain, it's because of a faulty belief. Begin to pay more attention to what you are thinking.

"What am I telling myself?"

"Is it the truth?"


01:05

Another touching interview that illustrates how anger can mask deeper feelings.

04:13

Often this is just a learned response from watching our parents, friends, or family deal with emotions. Perhaps we learn that anger is ok to show, but not sad.

What would you feel if you were not feeling angry?

Anger Is:
1 question
Section 4: Reducing anger and choosing less costly strategies. Getting Practical!
02:49

Our deepest emotional layer is our needs so it makes sense to see what's going on with those!

First though listen up to hear what it is that I mean by needs as it's not quite as simple as it seems.

Check out my resources on this topic on my website or to your right...

www.newinsight.co.nz/nvc

01:27

We have all been told to 'do' something different. Perhaps to breath, to count to 10, to be patient etc etc, so what I want to talk about is the other strategies for meeting your needs - thinking differently.

The beauty of thinking differently is that we have complete control over that arena. The negative is that often we have no idea what's going on in there because we don't spend enough time listening to ourselves.

Take the time to watch this example and try to explore your own feelings, thoughts and needs with this model.

Use the pause button if it runs too quickly!


00:40

(*Hit Pause on this lecture at the end if you want to look at it - so it doesn't change on you!)

High expectations are a major cause of anger. Expectations of yourself, of other, of the world around you.

Expectations are different from ideals. High ideals are great, but high expectations just leaves us disappointed over and over.

Resilient minds can adjust expectations on the fly.

Flexible expectations act like a car's suspension adapting to variations in the road of life - cheesy but true!

Ridged minds buckle and break!

To keep your mind supple practice these two things:
  1. Banish 'should' and 'must' from your internal and external vocabulary. (I'm not kidding Marshall Rosenberg calls says that should is the most violent word that we use on ourselves and others!)
  2. Ask yourself ,"Are my expectations realistic?" when you find yourself disappointed. The harsh reality is that - if reality turned out different from your expectation then NO, your expectations were not REALISTIC and need to be adjusted. Grieve the difference between your ideal would and reality, then use the energy to help make your world a better place!
00:51

An interview summerising how breathing, thinking, then responding has helped with anger in relationships.

02:30

So you have had a look at your thinking and how it may be misleading you. Now you need learn how push back on your thoughts.

Get a pen and paper and make yourself a list of truths to combat some of your old default stinking thinking.

For the big ones - the bigger scary feelings in your life - you will need to have this truths at your finger tips so you can get to them before you get to your anger!

What I am teaching here is what I do with people in counselling. For some things you will be able to do this yourself, but some some things you will need a professional to lend a hand.

02:23

Instead of battling in your mind, there is also a time to step back and be less engaged with your mind.

Try this:

Make yourself a list of situations that you find cause you to be angry.
Mark beside each thing your new strategy. C for change your thinking, L for let it go.

01:40

To actually become free of our old habits - the big ones at least - we need redefining experiences. Instead of just becoming a little more sophisticated in dealing with issues, try doing the opposite - run straight into the stuff you are scared of! Equip yourself first with some truths, and practice and letting feelings go and pass on by.

01:20

A short interview with a philosophical guru outlining some of the possible outcomes of suppressed anger, and some positive uses of anger on your communication.

04:00

This lecture is an encouragement to assert yourself earlier rather than blow up later.

What is it that you wait so long before speaking up? What lie or scary feeling is blocking you sharing your opinion or frustration early in the peace?

You may find it useful to take those questions and journal on them as explained in the previous lecture with the ice burg.

This lecture also invites us to take greater ownership of our lives.

Section 5: Closure
Article

This is a comprehensive step by step exercise to help you with your anger.

Article

Turn your attitude upside down by practicing daily gratitude.

01:35

This is my first 'real' udemy course, and it's been scary, fun, exciting, and quite vulnerable feeling to create this. I'd love your honest feedback about how you have found this. My plan is to continue fine tuning it, and if you have got in early with an introductory coupon then your feedback (both to me and into the udemy feedback system) is going to be key in my shaping this course and therefor how successful it is.

Feel free to message me or email me if you feel the feedback needs to be directly to me and not in the udemy feedback system. joel@newinsight.co.nz works.

It would warm my heart, and meet my need to contribute, to hear stories of how you have applied what you have learnt here - or somewhere else - that has helped you with anger!

Take care,

Joel Young

P.S. I now have a course on Practical Empathy that compliments this well!

Bonus! Coupons for my other courses.
Article

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Instructor Biography

Joel Young, NEWinsight. You will learn something new - guaranteed.

NEW skills. NEW techniques. NEW insight. If you don't learn something new and relevant, get your money back. That's my UDEMY promise.

Drawing on over 2000 hrs of face to face counselling with individuals, couples, teenagers, families and businessmen, I have put together many practical, in depth, and effective workshops. These have proven interesting, digestible, and most importantly, useful.

Enjoy!

I am an experienced Counselor, Coach, & Communicator. Director of NewInsight and Associate at Blacksmith Consulting

I am fairly new to udemy, so please help me help you! I welcome questions or suggestions.

Thanks!
Joel Young

LinkedIn Recommendations:"Joel is an excellent presenter who knows his subject well. He conveyed some difficult topics in a comfortable manner and is very approachable. His passion for the course taught and thought/planning put into it was always evident. Highly recommended! "

"Joel is a passionate and committed individual. He is an entrepreneur, who is committed to seeing not only his own visions, but the visions of others realized in full. He is a man of integrity and insight and I would be delighted to work with him on any project, anywhere in the world."

Qualifications:Bachelor's Degree in Counselling, Full Member of NZCCA

2200+hrs face to face counselling experience
1000+hrs of group facilitation, & leadership development

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